occasionally decent. @finallyforfeited - Tumblr Blog

free healthcare should include teeth actually

It's actually funny how humans decided "fuck living in caves with all these creepy crawlies", got out of caves, built houses that have all the nice parts of a cave without any of the yucky parts, and then all the little bugs and spiders and other creepy crawly creatures that used to also live in caves thought "sweet, new and improved caves" and moved right back in with us.

ask-ciaphas-cain

Why WOULD I pay for tumblr premium when I get quality ads like this???

kaijuno

Strawberry Kiwi

winfieldblue

WORLD WAS GONNA END IN 2012 BUT 2 YEARS LATER STILL MASTURJACKING MY MEATUMS WHO IS FUCKIN WITH ME?

indagold-orchid

Rat vs Hamster Yawn

badjokesbyjeff

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: Don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, And although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months Without stepping on any ducks. But one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being Chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

cryptotheism

It feels like every time y'all don't like a trans woman you gotta construct some new slapdash system of queer theory that makes them trans in a Horrid and Degenerate way while you are trans in a Righteous and Morally Upstanding way.

Like, you're allowed to think a trans woman is just kind of a cunt. You can be trans and a cunt. There's no need to get ideology involved. People are cunts sometimes.

yrfriendliz

http://www.wsj.com/articles/BL-LB-51793 This is honest to god one of the funniest things I think I have ever seen. The idea of giving a baby a theme party based on a local personal injury attorney is something i am so jealous of I dont know how to properly put it into words. Also the fact that the lawyer didn’t come to the party somehow makes it even funnier.

tinseltownturkey-deactivated202

this is the kind of content i came here for

loving-women-is-rad

he didnt come to the party because he sees the baby as a future opponent

branewurms

what the fuck

astercrash

I admit I don’t know how a child’s brain works but as an adult the greatest sign of respect I feel capable of giving a child is to act as if they are prophesized to destroy me when they come of age.

snowylynxx

already got a blazed marvel post. the adpocalypse is closer than we think so heres your daily PSA

don't interact with corporate tumblr accounts

yes even to dunk on them. i don't care if you have the sickest burn of the century lined up, don't even give them the time of day

the eventual and inevitable fall of twitter marks a change in the advertising industry, and tumblr is unclaimed territory. if we want tumblr to remain the social media bastion it has become, it needs to remain as unappealing to corporations as possible. do not engage. in a marketing strategist's eyes, any kind of attention is good attention. don't "silence, brand" them. don't kungpowpenis them. don't send them hate anons. don't hate-follow them. corporate tumblrs are not a single entity and they will not be harassed off this site. we only have a shot at repelling them because of tumblr's lack of an algorithm. so turn off recommended posts on your dashboard, put it chronological order, and install an adblocker. if you don't seek out these blazed posts and actively ignore them when they happen upon you, the corporations will starve. in this case, the best kind of protest is a silent one

e-v-roslyn

If you see them, block them. And move on.

satyronmars

oh he's mad 😭

oldmanyellsatcloud

NOT THE CALZONES!

#i can't believe italian elon is verified

shakespeaker

Who are the Anti-Stratfordians?

People who think Shakespeare wasn’t actually Shakespeare, but that ‘Shakespeare’ was a secret pseudonym for someone more important and better educated, like the Earl of Oxford.

See also: imbeciles.

dukeofbookingham-deactivated202

This

thebookishgurl

Not to piss anyone off, but why does this matter? The author is literally (and possibly metaphorically) dead.

dukeofbookingham-deactivated202

I feel like I have to address this. I tried not to, but I actually think it’s really important. Most of the people who make the argument that ‘Shakespeare wasn’t Shakespeare’ are doing so on the basis that the real William Shakespeare of Stratford-upon-Avon simply didn’t have the literary wherewithal to have written what are now the most famous plays in the English (or possibly any) language. They like to argue that because Shakespeare’s family wasn’t particularly wealthy or influential, and that he never got more than the Elizabethan equivalent of a grade school education, he couldn’t possibly be as well-read or as eloquent as the person who wrote Hamlet, or Macbeth, or what have you.

The reason Stratfordians are so vehemently defensive of Shakespeare as himself is because (a) there’s literally no proof that he wasn’t exactly who we think he was and (b) we believe that it’s entirely possible that a man who was nominally ordinary became the world’s most famous playwright. If you take that away from him, you are doing the world a huge disservice, by reinforcing the idea that in order to have a significant impact on the course of history, you have to be wealthy or politically powerful or socially superior. I for one want to be able to tell any struggling middle school kid with average grades not to give up, because passion is more important than money or power, and he or she could be the next Shakespeare.

So, that’s why it matters.

engrprof

^^^This^^^

melusineloriginale

Yes. All of this. The Oxfordian authorship theory is rooted in classist, elitist attitudes that insist that a glovemaker’s son from Stratford-on-Avon who never left England couldn’t possibly have written 37 plays based simply on extensive reading and a great deal of imagination.

Also they have no conception of what “grammar school” actually means. A grammar school education in the sixteenth century usually included extensive study of rhetoric, philosophy, and history. Ben Jonson claimed that Shakespeare’s Latin was mediocre and his Greek nonexistent, but there were a wide variety of classical texts available in English translation during his lifetime and we can clearly see echoes of those translations in Shakespeare’s works.

Lastly, the Oxfordian theory is rooted in an 18th century forgery popularized by a man named Looney (pronounced Loh-ney, but WHATEVER). The best book I’ve seen on the subject is Contested Will by James Shapiro, which is marvellous and snarky and everyone should read it.

gnimmish

It’s the exact same logic that tries to discredit Mary Shelley as the author of Frankentstein, because a particular school of (white, upper class, male) critical thought can’t stand the idea that an eighteen year old girl could have written something so profound that it founded an entirely new literary genre.

They don’t like being confronted with the fact that great art is not the preserve of the ruling class.

capricorn-0mnikorn

Also, here’s another reason it matters: Shakespeare populated his plays with characters from all the social strata, from prostitutes to monarchs, and everyone in between.

The view of such people, their attitudes and foibles looks a lot different when you’re looking at them from the same level than if you’re looking down at them from above, with only a vague, abstract, view of what their lives are like.

Therefore, knowing that Shakespeare had come from “common” origins and worked his way into the patronage of King James by the time he retired, gives us a different understanding of his plays, and the history of the time and place in which he wrote them.

adobephotoslop

lastwave

Hey, yall with celiacs!

The FDA has allowed companies to not label things with gluten allergens. This means that, once again, the gluten free label can deceptive, and we need to start reading through all of the ingredients again (unless it has the verified label from GFCO). I'm not entirely sure how far this goes, but if looking for treats, do Not believe: cadbury cream eggs, newman o's. They are not gluten free. Stay safe!

Here is an example of the GFCO logo, they verify that advertised gluten free foods actually are:

Either of these logos means that a food has been verified by a third party company that is not the FDA (who has proven we cant trust them). I'm not sure about other verification companies, but I trust this one because they certify gluten free within celiac sensitivity standards. If you know of any other companies, feel free to add!

Once again, stay safe!

Non-celiac people are encouraged to reblog this.

#don't forget the fucking Cheerios