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@finding--a--reason
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Mama on a mission- To read my gastroparesis/tube feeding journey and to show your support please visit: https://www.gofundme.com/alexis-tube-backpack-fundraiser Update: Playtime with Cai guy! Thank you everyone for your support. As I said in my last update, after getting caught up on house things, I took a few days to rest. Im still currently dealing with the infection but have an appointment this week to get some antibiotics. Im in a bit more pain than normal but there isn't much leeway to slow down, as you can see my little guy keeps me pretty busy!!! Tube feeds are still going well, im tolerating them well and trying to make due with the current equipment I have. It causes me to have to unhook alot, so I've been getting worn out a bit more and losing a bit of weight. I'm keeping positive though, this is light years ahead of where I was a monthagoand with saving and your continued support I have hope that ill be able to get some equipment to meet me and my family's needs and find a new normal, managing both tube feeds, parenthood, and general adulting :) I want to take a second to thank those who have donated so far, and the people who continue to share my post and keep it active, it means the world to me and each day it brings is closer to our goal! Much love <3 <3 Mama on a mission- To read my gastroparesis/tube feeding journey and to show your support please visit: https://www.gofundme.com/alexis-tube-backpack-fundraiser
Hey guys! So sorry for the delay in updates, you’ve seen the highlights of my week, its been eventful, and exhausting. We replaced our dryer and so I’ve been trying to get laundry and cleaning done that I wasn’t able to in the hospital or post surgery. Im currently dealing with an infection due to Caiden pulling on my tube by the bumper and having to move and bend so much. Its painful but ill be getting into the doctors within the next couple days and the nurse said I would be fine as long as I go in within the week. I’m finding that not being able to run my tube when I’m alone with Caiden or cleaning drastically effects how my body is coping. I’ve been doing my best to stay hooked up as long as I can but with my current equipment it makes it very difficult and painful to stay hooked up 24/7. I’ve been more lightheaded, tire more easily, and the pain starts hindering what I can do before I can finish what I need to. Its been extremely difficult, but seeing caiden laugh and grow, being able to be home with my fiance, and seeing some friends again has made it worthwhile. I know its just a rough patch, and things will get easier. But I also think there’s some solace in just acknowledging that right now things are kinda rough. I hope you all are doing well, thank you for continuing to support me and help me reach my goal, every donation, share, and kind word are greatly appreciated!!! Sending love and light your way!
Fun at the grandparents! Had a great day yesterday seeing family and celebrating my fiancee's dads birthday :) it was exhausting and I crashed once I got home but it was so so worth it! So many smiles and is much laughter, I wouldn't trade it for the world #babyboy #fall #spooniemama #gj #gjtube #tubie #gastroparesis #cuteboy #apples #fallinmichigan
Decided to bite the bullet and take a pic of my tube for those asking! For those of you who would like to read about my gastroparesis journey, or to share or donate click the link below. I am 23 and adjusting enteral nutrition after being diagnosed with severe gastroparesis. My inbox is open for any tubie questions or for those who want to know more about it :)
Finding-a-reason
https://www.gofundme.com/alexis-tube-backpack-fundraiser
Momma On A Mission- Alexis Lynn’s Tubie Supply Fundraiser ❤❤❤
Link: https://www.gofundme.com/alexis-tube-backpack-fundraiser
Given the recent circumstances I have reached out for help, if you could like or share it would be truly appreciated!
Hello! My name is Alexis and I am 23, me and my fiance have a one year old son, Caiden. 8 months ago I was diagnosed with gastroparesis, i’ll explain below but it causes me to have to rely on 24 hours enteral nutrition. Im a stay at home mom and due to my recent hospital stay funds are tight and keeping bills paid and caiden well taken care of has been top priority. Since making the adjustment ive realized three things. 1. A rectagular tube bag digging into my spine 24 hours a day is immensely painful, especially when I have back problems already. 2. Babies really really love cords, and tubes, and wheels which is essentially all the medical equipment I use. 3. Most tape causes blisters and tape must be used to hold my gj tube in place. I am working to raise money to buy a tube feeding backpack that will fit my needs and allow me to run my feeds while caring for my son, and dylan is at work. I’ll be working to raise it as well and setting as much money aside as I can but I could really use your support. Even a dollor or two brings me closer to my goal and is immensly appreciated. All money will go to buying a tubie backpack to fit my needs and an IV pole with a wheel lock, as my current one does not fit through doorways and makes our house hard to access. Sharing is also greatly appreciated thank you for your support! Severe Idopathic Gastroparesis, is to put it simply, complete and permanent stomach paralysis with no definitive cause of what brought it on, though they have theories. Its been 8 months that ive been dealing with this. I didnt see a specialist until nearly 6 months into it, because for any of you who know my health history, ive spent alot of my life in hospital, and after just regaining some form of normalcy, I wasnt mentally prepared to go through all the testing and being told how my body is failing me again. I started researching and all of my symptoms matched, getting full after a couple bites of food, losing 85 lbs in 7 months, constant nausea and vomiting, always starving but if I ate I was left curled up in pain for hours. I wanted to eat, desperately. But everytime I did I got sick. About 6 months in I lost all my energy, I could eat less than my one year old son and I was desperate for some sort of relief. So I went to a specialist and after lots of testing, they confirmed that I had Severe Ideopathic Gastroparesis and almost 0 motility in my stomach. I had spent months researching my options, medications for mild gastroparesis, meds i was allergic to, gastroparesis basic diet, gastric pacemakers, digestive enzymes, botox of the stomach, homeopathic remedies for mild cases, and lastly permanent feeding tubes and tpn as a last resort if all else fails. There are very few desireable options in my case and with my other health stuff. I went in for my follow up to explore my other options and had emergency labs drawn because upon arrival my heart rate was 37 bpm and I was very weak. I was directly admitted and my labs showed severe malnutrition, my potassium was 2.6, and I could’ve gone into cardiac arrest at any point. They gave me bags of saline and electrolytes, placed an NJ tube for nutrition, and did more tests and tried an IV antibiotic that can stimulate the stomach which did not work. It came to a point where in order to get home and stay alive I would need to have permanent feeding tube placed that bypasses my stomach and allows me to get nutrition without it getting stuck. I am on it 24 hours a day from a tube in my abdomen with a backpack. Essentially liquids are fine because the can exit the stomach with gravity alone. Until theres new research this is my option if i want to stay alive and be there for my family which I do with all of my being. As you can see from some of my pictures, my family is my world, I fight everyday for them. If those of you who can, can join with me and help make this transition a little easier this momma would definitely appreciate it. Thank you so much for your support ❤❤❤
https://www.gofundme.com/alexis-tube-backpack-fundraiser
Decided to bite the bullet and take a pic of my tube for those asking! For those of you who would like to read about my gastroparesis journey, or to share or donate click the link below. I am 23 and adjusting enteral nutrition after being diagnosed with severe gastroparesis. My inbox is open for any tubie questions or for those who want to know more about it :)
Finding-a-reason
https://www.gofundme.com/alexis-tube-backpack-fundraiser
I need a job asap 😭
Sometimes I convince myself that I can eat vegetables. When I do, it does not end well.
Food is literally ruining my life.
Tonight I have reached a (repeat) conclusion. I need to stop eating. Food is ruining my life. I won’t go into great detail as to why again I am facebooking my issue, I instead will just say, “I need help.” I am that of an addict when it comes to food. I say I can stop at anytime, but I can’t (who am I kidding?)and in return it continues to physically hurt me and hinder a normal life. I need help. I have got to stop, because no matter what I eat I am riddled with pain. I can’t do this and do not know where to turn. I am trapped by this illness What do I do? The problem with this addiction is the fact that it is a necessity. (Of course not every food item I consume, but food in general.) Sam says I should talk to others like me. I have yet to find someone “like me” every other person with GP gets to eat at least some items without pain. I know I’m a broken record and I know I have played this song and dance before, but nothing changes, it all just stays the same. Unfortunately at this point I will need to forcefully remove myself from outings and social gatherings that involve food. It’s not fair to me and it surely isn’t fair to others. At least till I am strong enough again to go and not feel the overwhelming urge to eat. Looks like I will be headed back to the closet to sit while the others here eat. I thought I was ok with just eating and vomiting, but I am not. I have just been lying to myself. Tonight is a shitty reminder that I don’t control it, it controls me. As for doctors? I don’t currently have one because none of them have been able to help me and all I get it is either referred to someone else or a shoulder shrug. Medicines don’t work. What the fuck am I supposed to do? I really need help and I don’t know where to turn anymore. People have gotten used to “Chris with GP” it’s just the same “Chris with extra assholiness.” But Sam is the only one who sees “Chris who suffers with GP”, “Chris who cries because he is in pain.”, “Chris who on some days just doesn’t see the point.” I am continually taunted by food. I play pretend so I can feel normal, but all outcomes include suffering. Time for tough love folks, time to make Chris starve even more. I may not see a lot of you for a while, but I am tired of the constant vomiting. My stomach hurts worse and worse the more I do it.
You wanted everything And I gave you everything But my everything was too much for you. Because my everything is late-night ‘I love you’s,’ and 'drive safely’s,’ and 'text me when you get home’s.’ My everything is future plans, and kept promises, and never being able to hold you long enough. The past wrapped up in pretty packages, because memories are priceless, and also because I can’t afford anything else. My everything is not caring that you always left the toilet seat up, or the towel on the floor, or the jeans right beside the clothes basket. My everything is making dinner, and doing the dishes too, because you had a long day, and so did I, but my watch stopped working when I met you. My everything is meteor showers on car hoods, and sweet notes under windshield wipers, and words that wouldn’t exist if you didn’t exist.
But the thing about my everything Is that it’s all or nothing.
And my everything is also… being on a first name basis with my doctor. My everything is hospital visits, and blood tests, and moderately gross side effects from various medications. My everything is sometimes not being able to get out of bed, which you only ever seemed to mind when my clothes were on. My everything is a pink slip. Convincing myself that shining scars are just permanent reminders that things are better than they were when things were worse. Things are better than they were when things were worse. My everything is a paternal ghost whose voice I can’t remember even though it used to sing me to sleep. My everything is a list of diagnoses you can’t pronounce, and a house full of mobility aids that were marketed toward grandmothers. My everything is knowing I’ll never be a grandmother.
You wanted everything and I gave you everything and you chose nothing instead. And it hurt, but more than anything I was jealous That you were able to choose nothing over my everything. Because my everything is too much for me, too.
@ people who have food issues cause of their illness
im sorry if eating has become more of a burden than a pleasure for you
im sorry if people dont understand and think youre just a picky eater
im sorry if youre afraid to eat, afraid of the pain or concequences that come with eating
im sorry if you cant talk about your food issues because its an “inappropriate topic” to bring up.
im sorry if people feel like theyre entitled to know your issues, im sorry if youve been robbed of that personal privacy.
im sorry if going to restaurants is really hard for you, you dont deserve to go through this, to have something that should be fun made into a hell
im sorry if you have to watch other people eat food that you love and that you cant eat cause of your illness.
im sorry if you have to starve all day when you go out because the place youre at has nothing you can eat
im sorry if you cant go out and be carefree about what you have to eat because you have to worry about what itll do to you
im sorry if theres a type of food you loved and you had to give up cause of your illness
im really sorry people think that youre just complaining over nothing when you talk about how much you miss not worrying or not being able to eat a type of food,
you have every right to mourn what your illness has taken from you, whether it be the food itself, the love of eating, the lack of worry, or the concequences of eating something, etc etc.
im sorry if the holidays have turned into the worst times for you, im sorry if family or friends arent understanding or if just watching everyone be able to eat anything any time they want makes you upset.
you have every right to any emotion this makes you feel
im sorry if people push off your issues to “oh if they just ate less/more theyd feel better”
im sorry if youre told to stop complaining because you “dont have it that bad”
you matter
your issues matter
and you will get through this.
theres alot of other things, im sure, butthis is all i can think of for now.
Hey guys! I’m so sorry I’ve been MIA lately! Between my baby dropping phones in the toilet, being diagnosed with severe gastroparesis, adjusting to tube feeds, and chasing around a little guy things have been crazy! I am adjusting, but we could use some help, so ive started a go fund me. Totally ok if you can’t donate, but if you would like an update its all on the page and sharing is greatly appreciated! I’ll be posting more pics soon now that I actually have a phone with service 😂 ive missed you guys! Stay tuned for cute baby Pics, he’s gotten so big and just keeps getting cuter!
Momma on a mission Alexis Tubie backpack fundraiser link: https://www.gofundme.com/alexis-tube-backpack-fundraiser
#update #severegastroparesis #MIA #ansurvivor #stayathomemama #gjtube #momlife #hospital #jtube #enteralfeeding #help #medicalhelp #kangeroojoey #tubefeed #anorexiasurvivor #spoonie #spoonielife #tubie #tubielife #potsie #posturalorthostatictachycardiasyndrome
Decided to bite the bullet and take a pic of my tube for those asking! For those of you who would like to read about my gastroparesis journey, or to share or donate click the link below. I am 23 and adjusting enteral nutrition after being diagnosed with severe gastroparesis. My inbox is open for any tubie questions or for those who want to know more about it :)
Finding-a-reason
https://www.gofundme.com/alexis-tube-backpack-fundraiser
Momma On A Mission- Alexis Lynn’s Tubie Supply Fundraiser ❤❤❤
Link: https://www.gofundme.com/alexis-tube-backpack-fundraiser
Given the recent circumstances I have reached out for help, if you could like or share it would be truly appreciated!
Hello! My name is Alexis and I am 23, me and my fiance have a one year old son, Caiden. 8 months ago I was diagnosed with gastroparesis, i’ll explain below but it causes me to have to rely on 24 hours enteral nutrition. Im a stay at home mom and due to my recent hospital stay funds are tight and keeping bills paid and caiden well taken care of has been top priority. Since making the adjustment ive realized three things. 1. A rectagular tube bag digging into my spine 24 hours a day is immensely painful, especially when I have back problems already. 2. Babies really really love cords, and tubes, and wheels which is essentially all the medical equipment I use. 3. Most tape causes blisters and tape must be used to hold my gj tube in place. I am working to raise money to buy a tube feeding backpack that will fit my needs and allow me to run my feeds while caring for my son, and dylan is at work. I’ll be working to raise it as well and setting as much money aside as I can but I could really use your support. Even a dollor or two brings me closer to my goal and is immensly appreciated. All money will go to buying a tubie backpack to fit my needs and an IV pole with a wheel lock, as my current one does not fit through doorways and makes our house hard to access. Sharing is also greatly appreciated thank you for your support! Severe Idopathic Gastroparesis, is to put it simply, complete and permanent stomach paralysis with no definitive cause of what brought it on, though they have theories. Its been 8 months that ive been dealing with this. I didnt see a specialist until nearly 6 months into it, because for any of you who know my health history, ive spent alot of my life in hospital, and after just regaining some form of normalcy, I wasnt mentally prepared to go through all the testing and being told how my body is failing me again. I started researching and all of my symptoms matched, getting full after a couple bites of food, losing 85 lbs in 7 months, constant nausea and vomiting, always starving but if I ate I was left curled up in pain for hours. I wanted to eat, desperately. But everytime I did I got sick. About 6 months in I lost all my energy, I could eat less than my one year old son and I was desperate for some sort of relief. So I went to a specialist and after lots of testing, they confirmed that I had Severe Ideopathic Gastroparesis and almost 0 motility in my stomach. I had spent months researching my options, medications for mild gastroparesis, meds i was allergic to, gastroparesis basic diet, gastric pacemakers, digestive enzymes, botox of the stomach, homeopathic remedies for mild cases, and lastly permanent feeding tubes and tpn as a last resort if all else fails. There are very few desireable options in my case and with my other health stuff. I went in for my follow up to explore my other options and had emergency labs drawn because upon arrival my heart rate was 37 bpm and I was very weak. I was directly admitted and my labs showed severe malnutrition, my potassium was 2.6, and I could’ve gone into cardiac arrest at any point. They gave me bags of saline and electrolytes, placed an NJ tube for nutrition, and did more tests and tried an IV antibiotic that can stimulate the stomach which did not work. It came to a point where in order to get home and stay alive I would need to have permanent feeding tube placed that bypasses my stomach and allows me to get nutrition without it getting stuck. I am on it 24 hours a day from a tube in my abdomen with a backpack. Essentially liquids are fine because the can exit the stomach with gravity alone. Until theres new research this is my option if i want to stay alive and be there for my family which I do with all of my being. As you can see from some of my pictures, my family is my world, I fight everyday for them. If those of you who can, can join with me and help make this transition a little easier this momma would definitely appreciate it. Thank you so much for your support ❤❤❤
https://www.gofundme.com/alexis-tube-backpack-fundraiser