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Acceptance

Me: I don't know how to forgive myself

Therapist: let's talk about acceptance

Me:same shit

Therapist: Forgiving is more spiritual, acceptance is tangible

Me: same shit

Me: ok...

Me: "I accept the fact that I made bad decisions, and I accept the consequences of those decisions. I accept that I wasn't who I should have been, or I wasn't the best version of me. I accept that I am being a better me today, and I can only look at the moment I am in and do right in this moment. I accept me"

#self acceptance #rebuild #recreateyourself #hopeful #forgiveness

I just want my life back 😔

My truth

I hurt so bad I hurt to the point that I have the thoughts that we "aren't supposed to have" I have made so many mistakes I am all alone I have no one left I fucked up I have to pay the price. I just hurt so bad. I don't even know how I got here How is this part of the plan...

#depressing things #mentla health #mental illness #lost #lonely

"And yo, I know there are some things that you ain't told me. And yo, I did some things, but that's the old me"

#breakup #makeup #queer woman of color

Somehow I'm wrong for feeling the same as you...

Libra

It's not that I can't let stuff go It's that my balance is off I get apologies And Promise to do better I need some strong changes in behavior It's not that I can't forget or forgive It's just that now my shit is out of order I need balance That takes time We don't have to talk about These are just the residual affects

#queer woman of color

#love #lesbian #queer woman of color

300.02

Answer to everything

#mental health

juansendizon

I feel so empty because I feel so overwhelmed by feeling so much of everything that I choose to be no part of it.

Juansen Dizon (via juansendizon)

Pathetic

Fear of seeing you and knowing you won’t truly see me has me incapable of moving.

#queer woman of color #breakup

Almost Lover

"Your fingertips across my skin The palm trees swaying in the wind Images You sang me Spanish lullabies The sweetest sadness in your eyes Clever trick I never want to see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me Goodbye, my almost lover Goodbye, my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance My back is turned on you I should've known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do We walked along a crowded street You took my hand and danced with me Images And when you left you kissed my lips You told me you'd never never forget these images, no I never want to see you unhappy I thought you'd want the same for me Goodbye, my almost lover Goodbye, my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance My back is turned on you I should've known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do I cannot go to the ocean I cannot drive the streets at night I cannot wake up in the morning Without you on my mind So now you're gone and I'm haunted And I bet you are just fine Did I make it that easy To walk right in and out of my life? Goodbye, my almost lover Goodbye, my hopeless dream I'm trying not to think about you Can't you just let me be? So long, my luckless romance My back is turned on you I should've known you'd bring me heartache Almost lovers always do"

😔

The pit of my stomach reaches out to my mouth attempting to spill its contents all over the floor but like my pride I swallow it and close my eyes tight. I grow angry as the tears fall, to weak to control this response they fall on my screen as I look at what used to be.

Party

Started at a party many years ago Imagine me trying to talk shit in a dress Heels on hair did All I could think about was you That smile Half nervous Half anxious All adorable Hanging on to every word that graced your lips Attentive to the pattern of your speech And then you laughed

—smile w/ misty eye—

Not so secrete hand holding Elongated pauses between topics Joking, singing songs, Finishing each other’s verses. Learning. Stolen time One day trip turned into jokes about rent Only you know how great I can be Never risking that again You hold all my secretes Good and bad Keep the key.

#breakup #queer woman of color #gender queer

Lessons

A year later and I sit her emotionally in a similar spot

Feeling vulnerable to you and looking for answers while being

passive aggressive at best.

Still a toy in your game called life

wishing to be more

finally, hopefully, realizing I am nothing more

nothing less

than the toy from the shelf

Stolen for a while then hastily returned

no real desire to keep

just something to try out

#lesbian #queer woman of color #gender queer

J.

i loved you, you hurt me, i hurt you and I haven’t been the same.

#breakup #heartbreak #love #queer woman of color #gender queer

up

I used to look up to you

and now I see you for who you are

I get why people would make the joking similarity

to me you were my ideal

I thought it was a compliment to be a mini you

now I see

you are no more than a over educated

shit talking

man on the stoop

with a 40 in hand...

talking about “the man”

I molded myself out to be just like

you

no wonder I aint got shit

it’s been a few years now

your constant “woke”post

seem more empty than ever

it used to be so interesting

now its tired

I would say I am disappointed

feed up

or just mad

but you aren't the one that changed

yet here I sit wishing and wondering what if

sigh, its lonely over here.

#lonely #frienship #heartbreak #growth

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