fysch

perpetually doctoring my pepper | pfp by kingsillysmilez banner by kirikidu

[finned-fish]

"This isn't legal advice, but sometimes it's not enough to just go to therapy. Sometimes, to heal your inner child, you need to beat your father up."

- Alli Bellairs, August 15th, 2022

[syzygynephile]

Me, trying to impress my date with a display of my boundless humility: I would like to order one single, solitary crumb.

Waitress taking my order: Such arrogance! Not only do you presume to boast under the guise of being humble, but your order employs the most decadent of linguistic excesses - the tautology!

My date, who until recently thought "tautology" referred to the study of tensile strengths and upon learning her mistake compensated by reading through its Wikipedia article: That would be more correctly identified as a "pleonasm".

The editor I hired to curate my posts who styles himself as a sort of scheming court advisor: My liege, this one is getting away from us. The punchline loses much of its impact when the rest of the joke is derailed by this increasingly self-indulgent meta humour. Were it up to me, your Grace, which of course it is not, I would cut the others and leave myself as the only supporting character. You need noone else, Your Majesty...

My card: Declines

[luxwing]

Whenever I hear someone say "the woke mob" I have to stop myself from laughing because even today all I can think of is this fucking tweet

[luxwing]

Happy Pride to the Woke Mob

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

btw if you’re kink shaming people, I hope you know that every single person who reblogs this post and I are shaming you

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[winged-void]

The problem is I always want to dm my mutuals some shit like "I consider you an ally to my cause"

[frigidvalkyrie]

Reblog to tell your mutuals "I consider you an ally to my cause"

[finned-fish]

Him and his husband

[shamebats]

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

[technofeudalism]

the party of law and order who is tonsil deep on the cock and balls of palantir and flock who claims every foreign born person on US soil commits 100 crimes a day and should be put in a concentration camp for jaywalking is very upset about being surveilled and ticketed while committing crimes on a foreign nation's land. because as we know if the government owns the cameras that's communism but if a private company ran by a pedophilic vampire billionaire owns the cameras, that's actually democracy.

[djbodyhorror]

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

[our-queer-experience]

ive been repeating this in my head all week. auntie likes wearing the strap…….

[shitter]

absolute gold on Reddit today

[kosmogrl]

well let’s see if I care

[kosmogrl]

I DO

[lone-pylon]

Gave my Miis a proper hangout spot

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

some people are really looking so hard for some morally correct excuses to harass other people and be bullies, and then they wonder why fandom becomes toxic and no one wants to post their fics or art anymore. it's just pathetic.

fanfic writers and fan artists do not owe anybody anything

[koiagain]

I guess you could say he’s ve… he’s a very h…

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

some people don’t deserve fanfics, much less for free.

also even if authors didn’t tag any specific warnings but they used the “creator chose not to use archive warnings” tag, then that is your warning.

“omg you should’ve —” no one forced your entitled ass to read anything. fanfic writers write for themselves and their own enjoyment. if you don’t like what you’re reading, quietly leave. ao3 is not an airport. no one cares about your departure so no need to announce it.