rage and tenderness existing simultaneously in the same body
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rage and tenderness existing simultaneously in the same body
(insp)
JEAN RACINE’S PHÈDRE (PENGUIN CLASSICS EDITION)
feel free to change pronouns, etc
“in mortal doubt i waver”
“i shall escape from this place”
“i understand your grief; i know its cause”
“it is not her vain enmity i fear”
“do you too persecute her?”
“must you really hate her for her charm?”
“are you in love?”
“how dare you ask?”
“you know my soul”
“can the gods wish to humble me so far?”
“my duty bids me see her and i will”
“the queen has almost reached her end”
“how all conspires to hurt, hurt and afflict me”
“then live! let love and duty make you live!”
“i have endured a guilty life too long”
“thanks be to heaven my hands are free from stain. i wish my soul were innocent as they”
“i have said enough”
“is this to be the due reward for all my loyalty?”
“what answer can you hope to gain by force?”
“i fled his presence everywhere”
“the king is dead.”
“change his mind! show him his error”
“you justly share a common enemy!”
“is is not then a baseless rumor?”
“can it be i have no enemies?”
“at your first look i saw him flustered and confused”
“i was the only one who survived the fury of the war”
“what shall i say to her? and what will she expect?”
“anyone else would have resented me”
“i have said too much”
“my husband is alive! that is enough”
“oh gods, what have i done”
“can we not recognize by certain signs the black heart of a traitor?”
“traitor. how dare you show yourself to me?”
“such overpowering horror stuns my soul”
“what good will their love do them? it is in vain.”
“they will not see each other anymore”
“their love will last forever”
“i cannot bear their happiness”
“i will not hear another word”
“do not rely on that inconstant heart. he swore as much to others.”
“your love blinds you”
“the gods have robbed me of a guiltless life”
“madam, he is dead”
“he was not guilty”
“she’s dead, my lord!”
Clarke Griffin making me gay 13/∞
airsfly:
they don’t want him here, she doesn’t deny that, but they don’t want him to go, either? it doesn’t - make sense. it doesn’t. eun can’t put the two ideas together in his head in any comprehensible way. the way estrid says it is so certain, though. it’s hard to argue her, sometimes, when she seems so sure and strong in her convictions. like trying to put out a wildfire with a single bucket of water. it doesn’t work, not really. her question has him blinking again, shaking his head in automatic response.
“it doesn’t matter what i want.” he hasn’t let himself want anything more than somewhere to sleep and to hold onto his life in - almost as long as he can remember. it was always the best way to ignore the pangs of longing for something, anything, the best way to stay in line.
it’s all fitting together, somehow. somehow, it all makes sense - - - at least to her. makes sense in that certain, unquestioned and unquestioning way of hers. the kind of sense her mind settles on and doesn’t let go of. there’s four of them, there has to be, and here they are. together. and maybe they don’t all get along, not yet, but they’re not about to turn one of them out. (not while estrid has any voice in the matter at all.)
“sure it does,” she says, looking at him quizzically. “why wouldn’t it?” it matters to her, just like the wants of her fellow riders had always mattered, just like what iain and aiyana wanted mattered. “what the rest of us want matter. why shouldn’t what you want matter?”
𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐋 𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐒 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃, 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐘, 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋.
request by anonymous
estrid lives her entire life / makes every decision under the impression that there is no tomorrow. it doesn’t exist. it’s why she hates waiting, why she barrels into everything, is so all-or-nothing.
airsfly:
it’s not like he’s had friends to compare genuine ones and forced ones in any meaningful way. he’s had - people in his life, ones he did trust with his life, but not ones he thought would do anything beyond their best to keep him alive while also completing their orders. “good to know.” he files it away in the back of his mind, the clinical part that labels it as material for the future. the part that he knows makes iain and aiyanna look at him sidelong. it’s surprising that estrid doesn’t - she likely has the most reason to distrust him. rebels have been killed by arrows he’s shot, by the throwing knives he still carries, but she’s still like this.
lips quirk in something that isn’t a frown, but is a deviation from the blank look that is usually settled on his face. stubborn. right. he sets down the bowl of stew and gives a minute shake of his head. “they don’t want me here.” and he doesn’t even blame them, really. they’re enemies on opposite sides of a battle. he’s a traitor to the gusting hills, sure, but what’s to say he won’t turn on them just as quickly? even eun isn’t sure if he will or not.
she can’t really read him. and if she let herself stop to think about it, maybe it would worry her. for now, all she knows is that he’s different. different from her in manner, and yet like all three of them in ability. it’s the ability that links him to them, that strange connection she can’t understand and hasn’t tried to. knows only that, somewhere deep in her soul, she knows that there are four of them. must be four of them, or else it won’t be quite right. (knows, too, that she can’t - - won’t - - force any of them to stay.)
“they don’t want you to leave, either,” she replies. doesn’t challenge what he says, though. knows he’s right. iain certainly doesn’t trust him, she can see that in his eyes. doesn’t think aiyana trusts him, either. isn’t sure that she trusts him, when it comes down to it, but she’s willing to try. willing to reach out, establish that trust. willing to set the foundations, to see where they go. “what do you want?”
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The Society (2019—) Created by Christopher Keyser
@airsfly
there’s still hope.
.
With shortness of breath, I’ll explain the infinite. How rare and beautiful it truly is that we exist.