SHE WATCHED HIM now as if he were a stranger — someone she’d only just met, and perhaps that was truly the case. Did she ever really know Raynold like she thought she did? From the very start, his intentions had been a mystery to her, and yet she had accepted him without an ounce of hesitation. How could she have been such a FOOL? How could she have believed, without question, that her decision to become a monster would be consequence free? She’d thought her GUILT and newly-found SELF-HATRED to be her punishment, but finally, the truth revealed itself. She’d put herself in mortal danger. She’d put her PEOPLE in danger, and worst of all… she had put RAYNOLD in danger. His exhaustion, his injuries, the scars that marked every inch of visible skin…
SHE HAD NONE BUT HERSELF TO BLAME.
Unable to hold his gaze, she turned towards the large expanse of land before them, hands grasping tightly at an ivory marble railing. Closing her eyes, she attempted to speak, mouth opening and closing pathetically. Her KINGDOM had not been meant for her. Her people had been nothing but pawns meant for slaughter. And her… the QUEEN, was the greatest pawn of all — for both ARES and RA. Neither of them were innocent, and in her eyes, they were both VILLAINS. The bitterness in her heart would be reserved for them, as they had attempted to play not only her, but Raynold too.
❝ The fate of the world… I see… ❞
Her words, nothing but a whisper, were all that followed Raynold’s desperate apology as she looked towards the sky. Was her living a CURSE? Was her death the only thing to save the world from terrible misfortune? Was it FATE? Could it be that her majesty had been born just to die? All this time, had she been been living in a fantasy? — blind to the suffering of all those around her? In the end, it was neither Raynold nor Ra that she could hate, but HERSELF. When she’d made her choice to become this, she had been unaware of the significance. She’d been wrong to assume it was the business of no one but herself, and because of that ARROGANCE, she had caused these problems. All because she was afraid.
❝ You have suffered greatly… because of my shortcomings. All this time.
OH, RAYNOLD… ❞
As small, delicate fingers curled themselves into trembling fists, her eyes filled with tears. Raynold intended to kill her, and perhaps her greatest shame was the knowledge that she would have LET him. Even so, he’d disobeyed, for HER, and shunned his God. Throughout these long years, he’d protected not only her life, but her BLISSFULLY IGNORANT, CAREFREE lifestyle as well. It seemed she owed him far more than she’d even realized.
Finally looking at him, the sight she beheld pained her more than she would’ve liked to admit. She never wished to see Raynold on his knees like this, let alone speaking in such a broken, pitiful tone. It wasn’t like him to be so out of character. She wanted nothing more than to see him grin in that over-confident way of his, and to hear the laugh that all music PALED in comparison too. She had caused this. Nicolette had caused Raynold to be like this. Releasing a quiet sob she fell to her knees before him, taking both his hands tightly in hers, pulling them close to her heart, palms flat against a heaving chest, and WEPT.
❝ Oh, Raynold! I have FAILED you! If I had only known, but you kept me so
blissfully unaware! Because of my selfishness… my COWARDICE, you
were on your own all this time… fighting alone… suffering alone… I’m sorry,
Raynold. I’m so sorry! I do not wish to see you so distraught, bowing before
me like this… I wanted to protect that smile of yours, and these hands that
have protected ME all this time. But my weakness allowed not even THAT! ❞