poetry, og and quoted

[fishskeleton]

Exerpt from journal entry

“Today I felt the despair appear, I watched him, small in my chest. I was upset reading Mojgani’s poems. I was upset that I want to write but I don’t. So many half finished poems, scribbled out ideas, and screenshots of inspiration laying wait in my phone. I also want to read! Why can’t I read? And the whole time I’ve been thinking about writing Josh keeps calling me and I keep thinking of when Bidart said through the eyes of Nijinsky, “I can choose ”life” for myself;—but must I, again, again, AGAIN,— for any other creature?” I don’t know what he meant by that but I think of that sentence everytime I wonder If my actions could influence the length of another person’s life.”

[embersmaraee]

I hate this whole needing money to live thing

[fishskeleton]

reference from Pinterest and they didn’t list artist :(

[fishskeleton]

You know when you wanna draw but like you cAn’t dRAW. :|

[fishskeleton]

#disecting a shark in 9th grade

[eurodeal]

Wow everyone is going through it. Hold my hand

[fishskeleton]

we live in a world where children have to fight to be young

[tommyisgoinginsane]

you people need to realise just how beautiful you all are. you may have done shitty things in the past but all of your experiences have shaped you into who you now are, and i’m sure that version of you is gorgeous.

[fishskeleton]

“You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves. Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine. Meanwhile the world goes on.”

—Mary Oliver: Wild Geese

[fibro-memes]

[grapefruitpeelz]

id: a tweet by keegan 🌙⭐️ (steadfastpetrel) that reads “people with chronic illnesses will go ‘dang why do i feel bad today’ as if they literally don’t have feelsbad disorder”. end id

[daweyt]

— Frank Bidart, from “Half-light: Collected Poems 1965-2016; ‘The Third Hour of the Night’", published c. 2017.

[fishskeleton]

—Frank Bidart, from “Half-Light: Collected Poems 1965-2016; ‘The War of Vaslav Nijinsky’”, published c. 2017.

[fishskeleton]

It’s been said that we love on our knees like a prayer; the poets omit the explanation that worship is about submission. Kneeling in complete vulnerability I realize, they could not be more right. It took me maybe 17 years before I could look in the mirror without extreme discomfort at seeing my own naked body. How can I be expected to view someone else’s with poise? I shudder. I refuse.

—fishskeleton

[fishskeleton]

I've been thinking about religion recently. Maybe it’s more correct to say: it’s been rare for me to spend a day this last year not thinking about religion. Why are religious people so corrupt? Always berating and rebuking. Chiding and reproving. Sentencing good people to hell.

I thought Christ was the judge?

The most devious lie is crafted almost wholly by truth.

Inconsistent hypocrisy masked by the glory of God? You cannot hide your sin. And most of you don’t even see it. Is faith blind or blinding? Is your behavior forgiving or obsessive? Do you follow the character of Christ or the carnal part of the duality of man?

I once learned that Mormons are less harsh than Catholics. Catholics believe in HELL. But now I see that there are scrupulous Mormons and hopeful Catholics. My dad taught me that people who leave their congregation are lazy. I have found that many are seeking truth.

—fishskeleton

[fishskeleton]

And I sit at my desk every morning writing—wondering. Do I want to marry a Christian or a good person? He says the Ideal is both; I’ve learned they are not synonyms.

He says we won't work out, but that I’m the best thing in his life. He is sad and confused. I told him to just let us be. We can worry about that later.

Analysis degrades the composure of our relationship

So I procrastinate decisions—enabling us to be.

The word Procrastinate has a poor connotation, seemingly an avoidance. But my design is less of an evasion, more a perpetuation: deliberate inadvertence.

Love is a rare commodity: as essential as water, and scarce as jade.

Why give it up for fear? Should love atone for logic?

No! I preach against it.

Yet subliminally...I concede to logic.

While my poet’s heart sees beauty, my mind’s eye

finds absurdity.

Deceit, deception: deceiver! Constitute yourself to this hypocrisy!

If I choose the absurd path, what blame must I carry?

If I believe myself a siren, prompting this evasion, how can I find serenity in his presence?

. . .

He asked me last night If I plan to marry him. I cannot procrastinate decisions any longer.

I said no.

He cried,

I cried,

And then I left.

—fishskeleton

[fishskeleton]

[dayquil-driver]

so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

[dayquil-driver]

reblog if i can wander into your apartment (blog) and make myself lunch (like and reblog as if it's my dash)

[snuffgf]

not be a flirt but I see God in you

[metamorphesque]

― Rosary, Anna Akhmatova

[text ID: Will you forgive me these November days?]