We Live

[hayley-studies]

18-09-2015 // I’ve revamped my bullet journal setup because I had creative differences with the old one. I wanted a much more minimalistic look and I think I’ve achieved the desired effect.

[lovelylittlelearning]

[blamer]

So I’ve been asked a few times to post some pages of my bullet journal…so here they are!!!

First off, I use the leuchtturm1917 squared in black to journal. I also use stabilo 88 pens, muji gel ink pens in black, staedtler triplus fineliner pens in pastel, staedtler pigment liner sketch pens, pigma micron pens, and zebra mildiners in pastel.

My index page. My notebook comes with an index page which is awesome!! I use this for quick reference if I am looking for something and I don’t know what page it’s on.

My “end of 2015″ page. I use this page for reference of an overview of what the next couple of months look like. I put important dates I need to remember as well as a couple of goals I am going to try to meet! You can use this for a semester, a year, a month, whatever.

A monthly view. I do this for every month. At the beginning of the month, I fill this out with due dates, work schedule, events, appointments, etc. I color code too 😎 (see bottom left corner of picture)!

A weekly view. This I do at the beginning of every week. I refer to my monthly view and designate tasks per day to make sure I am on top of my homework and other things (chores, vitamins, etc.). I put tasks in squares and events, work, appointments in circles! I also add a water log beneath each day and mark every time I drink a glass.

Breakfast places in my town that I NEED to try. This is self explanatory. 😜

A habits log which has been adapted from @studyfulltime! I don’t really do it anymore because it is time consuming, but it is an incredible way to make sure you are taking care of yourself. I mark the food I eat, how much water I drink, my expenses, my exercise log, and my habits. I do them per week!

I call this my motivation station! I made this page in case of emergency and if I’m having a breakdown or something. I refer to it when I need motivation or just uplifting. I also put a self care list since that is just as important to me as motivation!

In case of relaxation/boredom. If I have free time I tend to do well…nothing. 😁 So I made this page to refer to when I have free time. I also have a page for Christmas gift ideas. So when an idea for someone sparks, I write it down so I don’t forget it!

Date ideas/TV shows to watch (which sometimes go hand in hand tbh 😂). In this page I filled in a bunch of date ideas for me and the boyf as well as a list of TV shows that are on my watch list.

Books to read/movies to watch. I color coded movie and book. I also mark if they are available at the library or on Netflix. As I watch/read I’ll fill in the little hearts. ❤️

That’s all! At least all of importance. I hope you guys can use this to inspire your bullet journals! Also, my ask is always open, so if you have any questions about anything, feel free to ask! 💕

xx Jess

[hayley-studies]

18-09-2015 // I’ve revamped my bullet journal setup because I had creative differences with the old one. I wanted a much more minimalistic look and I think I’ve achieved the desired effect.

[studyocracy]

“Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.”– Jack Canfield

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” –Mark Twain

“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“”“`

Focusing has been a major problem for me when I try to study. Thankfully, I have discovered several ways to help myself overcome this difficulty and my grades have improved as a result. I hope some of these tips can help some of you guys out there as much as they did for me! c: These tips are in chronological order from when I get home!

Go Workout and Exercise

I cannot stress enough on how exercise has allowed me to concentrate more.You don’t even need to get a gym membership. I simply workout in my tiny room while watching workout videos on youtube. Some great youtubers that offer free workout videos include fitnessblender, blogilates, tone it up, and Be Fit. Their workout videos are awesome and their videos range from 5 minutes to an hour, depending on how much time you have. Aside the mental benefits, you also get physical results in your body and who doesn’t want that!? Here is an article explaining how exercise helps you concentrate in a more in depth explanation. 

Eat Healthy Foods (or at least before/while you are studying)

After working out, I always put something in my body that is healthy. I suggest making smoothies that are packed with fruits and/or veggies. Here are some of my favorite, healthy smoothie recipes that taste amazing. Trust me when I say this, these smoothies will help you focus and concentrate and give you a rush of energy.

Clean Your Workspace

Before I sit down and crank out my studying, I always reorganize my workspace. This simple, 30 second step will allow you to think more clearly and your stuff wont be cluttered everywhere and look like a crime scene of papers.

Plan What You Need To Get Done

From simply buying a planner or by making a bullet journal (here’s a link on how to bullet journal), writing down what needs to get down can help you manage your time better. Prioritize what you need to get done. Write down any upcoming due dates or tests. By doing this, you can time out how long you need to preform each task. I use this planner. Investing in a planner has impacted the way I study and it is not time consuming at all. I am not sure why, but writing what needs to get done makes me feel less stressed and I highly recommend investing in a planner if time management is not your strong suit.

Turn Your Phone on Airplane Mode

I am not going to lie, I get distracted very easily, especially when I get notifications from snapchat, instagram, etc.Turning your phone on airplane mode will get rid of this problem since it disables notifications from these distracting sources.

Apps That Help With Focusing

Some apps that can help with focusing include FocusNow and FocusTimer, both free in the app store. These apps help you develop good habits while measuring your progress!

Listen to Classical Music, or Don’t Listen to Anything Else

I actually find all music to be distracting but many people enjoy listening to classical music while studying. However, DO NOT LISTEN TO ANY OTHER MUSIC BESIDES CLASSICAL MUSIC WHILE YOU STUDY. You will get distracted and you will not be as efficient. If you don’t like listening to classical music, but don’t enjoy sitting in absolute silence when you study, go to the library! The library is (or suppose to be) a quiet place and has some background noise which I find to help me focus. I despise studying in absolute silence since I find that random thoughts of mine take over

Take Breaks

Working 3 hours straight is not a good habit you want to keep, instead take 10 minute breaks after 50 minute periods. I use this ratio and I find it to be very effective. Within those 10 minutes, reward yourself. Eat a snack, walk around your neighborhood, play with your dog, etc. I do not recommend going on your phone within those breaks since I often find myself getting sucked in and find it difficult to go back to “study mode”.

[passionateprocrastinator]

Urgh. Enjoy??? (I started making this six months ago so I’m obviously v productive) ✩✫✬✭✯✮✶✷

[scholarlysquad-blog]

hey guys!!!

so this entire past month has been extremely, extremely stressful for me because i had so many exams and i only realised how hideously unprepared i was for them on the day before the exam, which was really really awful. so in the middle of september i created a studyblr to keep myself motivated + get some helpful tips from the studyblr community on how to go abt studying for tests. the results proved to be super helpful and ive resolved to keep running this blog for as long as i can, because it really helps me stay motivated and i’ve already learned so many things from the community, despite the fact that i’ve only been here for around a month.

but anyways, i decided to create this masterpost in order to help others stay motivated + keep studying not only well but also properly i.e. not necessarily studying for exams but life in general, if that makes sense.

~ staying motivated + focused

coffitivity

download the forest app

chrome site blocker

self control app

try the pomodoro technique

pomodoro printable

getting back on track

guide to staying motivated

an excellent post full of great advice

lots of great advice from an a levels student

masterpost full of motivational quotes

how to avoid procrastinating

100 reasons to study

how to study like a harvard student

motivational movies/shows

types of learners [what method of learning works for u]

motivation for harvard students [and basically all other students]

~ staying organized

5 habits of organized students

set up a bullet journal [1][2][3]

keeping school notes organized

use dropbox to store important files

masterpost on organizing schoolwork

a super awesome n helpful video tutorial

how to organize ur desk

how to study space

study space guide

study space tips and guidance

guide to study guides

atracker - track ur time and stop procrastinating [mobile app]

minimalist organization

masterpost on time management

time management tips

how to be productive

how to use a planner

effective planning system

~ note-taking

notability [ios app - best note-taking app imo]

note taking overview

cornell method

summary foldables

fastest way to take notes

simple, creative note-taking

how to make ur notes look pretty [infographic]

how to make ur notes look pretty [video]

taking notes from textbooks

taking notes during lectures

for: maths [1]

for: history

how to make mind maps

great supplies and stationery u could use to keep notes pretty and organized

what is visual note-taking?

how to: visual note-taking

what are sketchnotes?

how to: sketchnotes

masterpost on note taking methods

~ research techniques

how to google effectively

use google scholar as an alternative to google

one of the best websites for research [esp. while doing science projects at the last minute…i would know]

alternative to wikipedia

find books in nearby libraries

openlibrary [ebook library]

online journal search engine [find scientific publications]

~ essay writing

guide to writing a great essay

HUGE general writing masterpost [including essays]

a huuuge essay writing masterpost

how to write a university-level essay

how to connect ur points and ideas: transition words

editing checklist

advice: college application essays

improve ur vocabulary 

check the readibility of ur essay

website which grades ur papers and essays

~ free online resources & courses

openculture 

mit opencourseware 

the open university 

coursera 

khanacademy

codecademy [how to code]

memrise

study geography

online calculator

maths masterpost

amazing maths + general knowledge site [u must check this out!!!]

maths cheat sheets

mathway [solves any maths equation]

website that balances chemical reactions for u

study guides for many subjects

windows apps [not all study-related, but useful anyways]

more phone apps for productivity

list of great apps every student must have

crash course: psychology

crash course: world history + world history 2

crash course: anatomy and physiology

crash course: astronomy

crash course: big history

crash course: chemistry

crash course: biology

crash course: literature

crash course: us history

crash course: economics

crash course: us government and politics

crash course: intellectual property

crash course: ecology

free ebooks [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8]

masterpost of free ebooks

~ languages

memrise

duolingo [20+ languages - very fun and interactive]

lang-8

thesaurus

reverse dictionary [1]

learning vocabulary

how to learn any language

HUUUUUGE language masterpost [so many languages and resources]

literature masterpost [for english - reading something other than textbooks is important yo]

english literature for college students [masterpost]

english literature: sparknotes

english literature: cliffnotes

english literature: shmoop

english literature: crash course

english literature: novel guide

no fear shakespeare

self-studying languages

spanish: advice

spanish: getting started

spanish: vocab

spanish: grammar and spelling checker

french: advice

french: getting started

french: vocab

french: grammar and spelling checker

french: masterpost of amazing resources

japanese: getting started

korean: masterpost of amazing resources

~ survival tips + advice

how to study for ANY subject

10 mistakes when studying

101 study tips

studying for a test

general study tips

how to study

how to survive high school

how to survive college

college survival masterpost

things to avoid doing

college: applying for scholarships

giving presentations

improve ur handwriting

resume cheat sheet

productive + relaxing afterschool routine

productive study breaks

emergency life hack: send last minute assignments after the last minute without getting into too much trouble

~ mental/physical health

the thoughts room

the dawn room

the quiet place

it will be okay

international suicide hotlines

iphone feature [to use in case of emergency]

emergency chat [mobile app]

sleeping tips [1]

dealing w insomnia

bedtime calculator [1]

stress management

how to reduce stress

staying calm during exams

grief masterpost

list of happy things

motivation for when ur not feeling so good

~ stress reliefs

clear ur mind

healthy study snacks

mug cake masterpost

smoothie masterpost

salads masterpost

more study snacks to boost brain activity

creepy sites

taylor swift tumblr replies

draw cool neon things

musical sea creature

watch a cool dream

watch any tv show/movie

just shower thoughts

poptropica [so underrated, my favourite game site, it’s for kids but it’s so entertaining and so much fun]

plant personality quiz

cookie clicker

make cool colourful silk

make virtual sand art

fake tweet generator

fake text generator

listen to calming sounds

huge masterpost full of fun stuff

~ music

ghibli music

coffee shop blues

classical music masterpost

masterpost of studying music

classical vocal music masterpost

cute nostalgic piano music playlist

my favourite instrumental playlist of all time

my studying/instrumental playlist collection on 8tracks

i think that includes most of the best resources i could find!!! feel free to message me in case 1) any of the links are broken, 2) u want me to add on to something, 3) u have a suggestion for a masterpost [i would love that so go ahead and ask if u do] or if u just wanna talk! also, feel free to reblog and add ur own comments/resources. hope this helped!! 

- mli

[rookiemag]

Around the Clock

An all-nighter survival guide.

[effortanderudition-blog]

Tips

reasons to be productive

believe you can be productive

do you need some motivation?

why being more clean and organized brings success

why you should forgive yourself for procrastinating

getting over a fear of studying

don’t have the all or nothing mindset

100 days of productivity

an easy way to become more productive

a little tip how to be more productive

the 2 minute rule

incentives

form good habits

how to start studying when you don’t feel like it

how to start working when you really don’t feel like it?

can’t start studying?

never think you can afford to waste “a little time” before studying

regaining focus

how to focus while studying

how to get things done

how to get your shit together

4 rules for a disciplined life

the alternative guide to not dying whilst at school

a post about procrastination from a person who actually knows what she’s talking about

unconventional methods to beat procrastination

how to stick to your plans, by a horrible procrastinator

anti-procrastination masterpost

tips for when you’re feeling tired/can’t focus

tips for productivity

5 tips for staying motivated

5 tips for staying productive

motivation is fleeting, rely on discipline

lots of study tips

Organization and time management

10 steps to better time management

getting organized… and keeping it up

how to plan your week

create long term study plans and stick to your study routines

get a bullet journal: the basics + inspiration and tips

organization tips

organization masterpost

Apps

the app every studyblr has

similar to Momentum

do your eyes a favor

Google Keep

blocking apps and extensions

10 websites that will help you to stop procrastinating for good

masterpost of apps and extensions

more apps

an app that organizes your time for you

[hawkestudies]

UNCONVENTIONAL METHODS TO BEAT PROCRASTINATION.

disclaimer: these are a few things that I’ve picked up over the years. They work well for me, a perpetual procrastinator who thrives on logic and tough love, but that doesn’t mean they’re a great option for everyone. 

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE WORKING FOR. I’ve seen a lot of posts that encourage people to think about their goals when they lose motivation, but for me, simply thinking about it doesn’t work. When I lose motivation, I make two lists: what I’m working for in the short term and the long term. This only works if I’m as specific as possible. For example, in the short term, I’m not just working for an A, I’m working for the feeling I get when the professor hands back an exam and I get to see a grade that makes me feel good about myself. In the long term, I’m not just working so I can get a job after graduation, I’m working so that I can get the job, the one that will make me happy to go to work every day. Really looking at where you want to be can help make the decision to study that much easier. 

DON’T THINK OF IT AS JUST ONE GRADE. First off, I’d like to say that there is definitely a hard line as to where this can be too much. You shouldn’t spend days beating yourself up over a bad grade, or sacrificing your mental health to spend all your time studying. But I often find myself thinking oh, it’s just one grade, it’s not a class related to my major, how much of a difference will it actually make if I cut down my study time a little bit? Then I proceed to let myself peruse Tumblr for a good few hours until I’ve effectively wasted my time. So save the “it’s only one grade” reminder for when you’re considering pulling an all-nighter for a quiz that accounts for a meager percentage of your grade overall. When you’ve got time to study, just study. 

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO WON’T HINDER PRODUCTIVITY. I feel like we all have that friend who doesn’t ever seem content just to let you study. They’ll invite you somewhere or try to make plans, and when you say you have to study, they continue to try to convince you to go to whatever party their going to, or see whatever movie they want to see. And for some people, it’s easy to say no. Sometimes, it’s even easy for me, procrastinator extraordinaire, to say no. But when you already don’t want to study, or you’re looking for an excuse to procrastinate, it’s near-impossible to say no. To avoid this, try to surround yourself with people who value education as much as you do. Those people are less like to pressure you into pushing aside your studying, because they understand how important it is.          ☞ If you’re the type of person who pressures people to drop their studying, please don’t!!!! It’s one thing if you’re genuinely concerned about their mental health, but it’s another if you just want someone to go to a party with you. 

CONSIDER PROS AND CONS. I’m a highly logical person, and I think this advice works best for people who are also highly logical. If you find yourself tempted to procrastinate, write down the pros and cons of doing the thing you would do in place of studying. For example, my vice is generally Tumblr. So I look at the pros for browsing instead of studying (entertaining, reading interesting thoughts, relaxation time, temporary and short term gratification) versus the cons (could do poorly on my test, have to deal with disappointed looks from my professor as he hands them back, know that I didn’t do my best, won’t get the sense of accomplishment I do when I get a great grade). It helps a lot to look at things that way, because it makes it hard to justify this activity over studying. But remember, this only works if you write down every reason. Be objective. 

REMEMBER THAT EDUCATION IS A PRIVILEGE. This works for me every time. Whenever I start to feel my focus waning, I think about the people who had to fight for me to get an education. For centuries, women weren’t allowed to get the most basic education (and in many places, that’s still true), so the fact that I’m able to get my degree, particularly in a male-dominated field, is pretty amazing. Similarly, I think about all the people who would die to get the education I’m getting, who have died to fight for other people to get the education. When you think about how much so many others would give up to have the opportunity to even be allowed to go to school, while you’re considering deigning to do your schoolwork, it’s harder to brush off the essay that, really, would take you all of an hour to finish. So, y’know, suck it up.       ☞ This may seem kind of harsh to some people, but it works wonders for me, especially when I really just “don’t feel like it”. It’s not a method to use all the time (or one to use if you’re generally feeling stressed out or overwhelmed by schoolwork), but it can definitely knock you out of a funk to examine your privilege.

[littlestudyspot]

Pre-Planning 101

People always ask me what my number one secret to success and organization is. I never knew how to answer the question because organization has always been second-nature to me. I love it. But I’ve finally come to realize that this method of my organization is what keeps me on schedule and on track and it’s my secret to success: pre-planning.

I use a Plum Paper Planner, similar to an Erin Condren layout.  You can pre-plan like this with any planner or agenda that you have; this is just the one that I use.

I use post-it page flags to write down things that I have going on in future weeks. This way, if things change, I can just move them around or take them off without having to white-out, scribble out, or erase.

The pre-planning comes in the most handy with school. There is one important piece of information you need to have for pre-planning in a course.  It’s vital: the syllabus. Here are the steps that I use to pre-plan using my course’s syllabus:

Step 1: Final Exam Date

This is the easiest step.  Find the final exam date in your syllabus, write it on a post-it flag, and stick it on that date in your planner.  Boom, you’re done.  Super simple, right?

Step 2: Papers and Essays

Start using this same method to mark your paper deadlines.  From each deadline, start marking the days prior that you will need to outline, draft, revise, etc.  This will keep you on schedule and prevent the need for an all-night paper writing session for your 8AM the next morning.

Step 3: Tests

I’m an English Writing major, so the majority of my assignments are essays and papers rather than tests.  However, I will occasionally have a test date, and I’m sure a lot of you do too.  Mark down test dates and, just like with the papers, mark down that you need to study every day for at least a week in advance. You’ll never have to cram again.

Step 4: Reading

This is the most difficult portion of pre-planning.  Well, it’s not necessarily difficult, but it’s the most complicated.  I plan out my reading in advance, breaking down the reading assignments into chapters by day.  Usually, the syllabus tells you to have X book read by Y date.  Sometimes they tell you to have X amount of chapters read by Y date, which can make things a little easier.  I just break down those chapters and that reading into smaller portions to do a little bit every day.  I also try and make sure my reading is scheduled almost a week ahead of its actual due date.  That way, if I miss a day, I’m behind in my personal goals, but I haven’t missed the official deadline.

Step 5: Everything Else

You’re almost done. Read through your syllabus carefully and check for any other assignments, events, cancelled classes, or presentations that you might have.  For presentations, follow the same format as papers and tests. That’s the key: make sure you schedule out time to work on all of your assignments, not just when they are due.

I hope this was helpful for all of you!  If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to message me.  Happy planning! xx

[effortanderudition-blog]

Tips

reasons to be productive

believe you can be productive

do you need some motivation?

why being more clean and organized brings success

why you should forgive yourself for procrastinating

getting over a fear of studying

don’t have the all or nothing mindset

100 days of productivity

an easy way to become more productive

a little tip how to be more productive

the 2 minute rule

incentives

form good habits

how to start studying when you don’t feel like it

how to start working when you really don’t feel like it?

can’t start studying?

never think you can afford to waste “a little time” before studying

regaining focus

how to focus while studying

how to get things done

how to get your shit together

4 rules for a disciplined life

the alternative guide to not dying whilst at school

a post about procrastination from a person who actually knows what she’s talking about

unconventional methods to beat procrastination

how to stick to your plans, by a horrible procrastinator

anti-procrastination masterpost

tips for when you’re feeling tired/can’t focus

tips for productivity

5 tips for staying motivated

5 tips for staying productive

motivation is fleeting, rely on discipline

lots of study tips

Organization and time management

10 steps to better time management

getting organized… and keeping it up

how to plan your week

create long term study plans and stick to your study routines

get a bullet journal: the basics + inspiration and tips

organization tips

organization masterpost

Apps

the app every studyblr has

similar to Momentum

do your eyes a favor

Google Keep

blocking apps and extensions

10 websites that will help you to stop procrastinating for good

masterpost of apps and extensions

more apps

an app that organizes your time for you

[sarahisawriter-deactivated20230]

The Good Sex Movement

Oh, how I love the Twitters.

One of my friends recently retweeted something by @nosexmovement. I’d never heard of it before, so of course, I spied, and it was about what I expected it to be: a teen focused Twitter account promoting purity and sexual abstinence with about nine bajillion followers, filled to the brim with clever quips and chastity memes.

*Sigh*

Alright, alright, alright. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fond of the concept. In fact, I LOVE the concept. Mostly because I’m one of thee most bluntly outspoken people on the topic of sex and purity I’ve ever known.

Understand, I’m not irritated by their mission. Not one bit. I’m in favor of it, encourage it, and hope that whoever is running it sees massive success in reaching young lives with a positive message.

But “no” sex isn’t the answer.

(If you’re not uncomfortable yet, stick around! This gets better!)

If you’re like me, sex was never something that you talked about growing up. Not because your parents thought it wasn’t something important, but because they’d blown it in their own lives and perhaps didn’t quite know how to approach you with it when the time came.

My version of The Talk came when I was about nine, when my mom handed me a Dr. James Dobson book and told me to read it because I was, quote, “becoming a woman.”

So I did.

I’m still deciding whether or not I need therapy.

Needless to say, sex was something I had to learn for myself. In my adolescent years, it was what I learned from message boards and magazines. And as I advanced into my teen years, it became something I learned about from every freaking show on The WB.

…have I mentioned I might need therapy?

My views were skewed. Between 30-year-old actors paid to act like overly hormonal teenagers and devouring the Teen Lit section at Borders with the hope that something would provide emotional clarity, I was a mess.

I gave my life to Jesus when I was 15. Those who’ve heard my my testimony know I fell hard and fast and everything in my life began to change drastically. That including my views on sex.

Thank God I had a youth pastor who wasn’t afraid to talk about it. He shared the truth, he shared his mistakes, and he shared that regardless of what we knew or what we had done, in Christ, we were forgiven.The one thing he NEVER said however, was that sex was bad. He spoke often about how much he and his wife enjoyed it, and regardless of how squeamish it made all of us to hear him say it, in the long run, it made an impact on us. Or at the very least, me.

I’m aware most of you fellow traumatized former 90’s youth kids weren’t nearly as lucky as I was to have someone who spoke freely on the gift of sexuality. In fact, most of you probably grew up in Christian homes where sex was considered a cuss word and your parents to this day still swear you were delivered in a basket via giant bird in the middle of the night.

Basically this.

Which is EXACTLY why phrases like “the no sex movement” sound like nails on a chalkboard to me.

Let’s be frank: I’m not against sex. I’m against bad sex.

You might be wondering if there is a difference. You’d be correct.

(Oh! Just wait! We’re about to get REALLY awkward!)

In Genesis 4:1, it says that Adam laid with his wife Eve and she conceived and became pregnant with Cain. The word lay in that context is translated “to be known.”

Think about that. Really. Think about it. They were naked together in the garden. And there was no shame. Free to know, and be known.

While if you read several chapters down in Genesis 19, you’ll read the account of the alarming incest that took place with Lot and his two daughters. What’s interesting, is that the word to describe the sexual encounters that took place between the three of them weren’t translated the same “to be known" as it was with Adam and Eve, but rather, just to “lie down with.”

He got laid. That’s it.

Not all sex is good sex. Sure, the act itself might be good, but the spiritual, mental and emotional part of it is far from it. In the long run, it doesn’t matter HOW good your performance in the bedroom is. If your intent for intimacy is simply to gain a few minutes of physical pleasure, but still leaves you feeling completely unsatisfied, then you’ve wasted your time, and will continue to KEEP wasting it till you find exactly what you’re looking for.

Face it. You don’t just want an orgasm. You want be known.

I’m not for a NO sex movement. I’m for a GOOD sex movement.

I’m not for locking my body up like Ft. Knox and wearing a bumper sticker on my butt that says “If You Like It, Put A Ring On It”, but I am ALL for saving myself for the guy who takes a vow to stick by my side and continually lead me like Christ would. ‘Till death.

That includes our good hair days and our bad moods. That includes our regrets and our achievements. That includes having plenty in the bank and just having enough. That includes fun dates and dumb disagreements. And that includes remarkably awkward honeymoon sex and pursuing the terrifying beauty of vulnerability together.

I’m waiting for the guy who waits to know me completely. No shame. Because then, and ONLY then, is intimate sensuality worth experiencing.

And I’ll be damned if the Christian Grey’s of this world think they’re getting all the “good” sex. (But that’s another blog…)

I’m not here to heap coles of fire on those who’ve made mistakes in their past. Too many of us walk around with baggage we never take out of the closet because we’re afraid that those who love us might not help us unpack. (Psst! Those who really love you will!)

If only we understood… God’s grace is SO much bigger than our petty shortcomings. Whether they be as big as a major sexual sin, or as small as that not-so-Christian word you whispered under your breath to that brother who cut you off in the church parking lot last Sunday (bless. his. heart.)

I’m here to tell you forgiveness is available, healing is available, the right tools are available, and yes, despite how much you may have blown it, or maybe even fear it, good sex is available too.

And it has no reason to feel ashamed.

Don’t wait to keep yourself from something good—wait because something good is EXACTLY what’s worth waiting for.

[fivedashtwelve]

sexuality and child abuse

https://rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims

https://1in6.org/family-and-friends/myths/important articles for meself

http://healthland.time.com/2013/06/05/sexual-and-emotional-abuse-scar-the-brain-in-specific-ways/

http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/30/abused-children-may-get-different-form-of-ptsd/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-new-resilience/201310/why-the-impact-child-abuse-extends-well-adulthood

http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/15/how-child-abuse-primes-the-brain-for-future-mental-illness/

http://healthland.time.com/2013/04/16/how-terror-hijacks-the-brain/

http://www.aic.gov.au/media_library/conferences/rvc/marendaz.pdf

https://www.counseling.org/docs/disaster-and-trauma_sexual-abuse/long-term-effects-of-childhood-sexual-abuse.pdf

http://www.medicaldaily.com/does-childhood-sex-abuse-lead-promiscuity-later-or-only-myth-317060

https://1in6.org/family-and-friends/myths/

https://rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims

http://www.secasa.com.au/pages/the-effects-of-childhood-sexual-abuse/

http://www.asca.org.au/WHAT-WE-DO/Resources/General-Information/Impact-of-child-abuse

[fitnesstipsonly]

Some challenges 💪🏻

[riotgrrrlsusan]

Doin’ this for a month if anyone wants to join me

[abbyyukiko]

50 Unusual Date Ideas

Have an 80’s movie marathon.

Go shopping; pick out outfits for each other then wear them to dinner.

Cook a fancy dinner from scratch.

Watch terrible television shows and make fun of them.

Attempt a DIY project together.

Write letters to each other.

Have an impromptu living room dance party.

Make a blanket fort on a rainy day.

Look at old photos from when you were a kid. Yes, even the embarrassing ones.

Do something completely out of your comfort zone together, like go to a rave or maybe a sporting event.

Make a cheesy couple video to annoy your facebook friends with. You know the type.

Read the same book and swap notes. Avoid calling it a book club. Bring snacks anyway.

Go out dancing (the classy kind, like swing dancing, not just jumping up and down and rubbing together in a sleazy club).

Learn a foreign language together.

Go window shopping.

Rent a movie you’ve never seen before, and watch it with the sound off. Make up your own dialogue and story for the characters.

Volunteer somewhere together. Relish in the feeling of helping others.

Visit a museum or a planetarium. Learn new things. Don’t forget to stop by the gift shop.

Make up an entirely new game, like “True American” on New Girl.

Have a picnic in the park, on the beach, or in the woods. Lie on a blanket and look for shapes in the clouds.

Tell each other all the reasons you love each other. Better yet, write it down for times when it isn’t so easy to remember.

Make food together

Make a spontaneous trip to somewhere you have never been

Make a scrap book together

Decorate cupcakes or a cake

Watch your favourite childhood movies together

Have a bonfire with lots of s’mores

Go on a scavenger hunt at a local shopping centre

Have a marshmallow fight

Read Shakespeare to each other

Watch an entire season of your favourite TV show

Play board games

Visit garage sales

Play Frisbee

Go kayaking

Go ice-skating

Go for a carriage ride

Dress up as a ghost and Pac-man, and then walk around town holding hands

Create photo evidence that you went on an adventure that didn’t actually happen

Dress up as superheroes

Build forts out of blankets and pillows and start a paper aeroplane war

Write a story together at a café. Ask strangers for help when you get stuck

Pretend to be a tourist in the city you live in. Do the lamest tourist things your city offers

Go around the city with sidewalk chalk

With a camera and pair of boots make a photo log of the day of an invisible man

Write love poems to each other

Do karaoke

Have a dance party at home including karaoke video games

Read your favourite children’s books together

Start a new hobby together

[creekgrl]

gratefulart

[thegrayingarchitect-deactivated]

frenchfriedandbeerbattered: please do all of these with me?

[error-ed-sims]

WCIF

plants

book

vodka

clock

color pencils (by Repulsive Desire but I can’t find the download link)

stacked magazines

yogurt

iphone

coffee cup

camera

magazine

chocolate bar

open book

cigarettes

cup

note pad with pen

Mac book