Jess

HEY ALL YOU GOOBERS, AND SAY HOWDY TO YOUR FAVORITE UNDERSEA PEANUT

[civilwhore]

[c-bassmeow]

[hotvampireadjacent]

[thedankest]

[01sentencereviews]

[babydreamgirl-deactivated201902]

This is my last two brain cells

[catchymemes]

“Thank you, I guess…”

[dankmemeuniversity]

[waterboarding-deactivated201705]

I just taught my nephew that “boner” used to mean “mistake.” I gave the example, “That’s quite a little boner you’ve got there.” He’s still laughing.

[matt-ruins-your-shit]

[matt-ruins-your-shit]

[matt-ruins-your-shit]

[friendly-animals]

(Source)

[meangirlnurse]

i’m always vaguely in an airport

[meangirlnurse]

even when i’m literally not in an airport i’m still emotionally in an airport

[missaffliction]

was this written by John Green?

[meangirlnurse]

[alisonzai]

[petitepluume]

I never related that much with something

[justpenguins]

[darksilenceinsuburbia]

[figma-deactivated20161222]

it dont even feel like july it dont even feel like any month we just floatin thru time

[writing-prompt-s]

Every year, the richest person in America is declared the “Winner of Capitalism.” They get a badge. Then all of their wealth is donated to charity and they have to start over at $0.

[lordachoo]

This procedure results in the worlds richest people donating excessive amounts of money ahead of the event in an attempt to avoid being hit by a real life blue shell. Thus adding to the overall annual donation.

[sapphic-giraffic]

Y'all think this is a joke but that’s literally how taxes are *supposed* to work

[softwaring]

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

human brain: having these chips is bad for me. my skin is unhappy, my stomach is unhappy, therefore i shouldn’t eat thi–

lizard brain: SALT FEEL GOOD EAT SALT E̛A̩̮͖̹T̴ ̭͇̯͚S̴̰͚A̻̤̝̙̤͉̩L̜̩̹̝͈̺̀T͇̤̯̫͈̤͠