what would i do if i wasn't afraid?

Side blog for the various aspects of my life that i don't feel comfortable sharing on my main blog. 28. HW: 293. 

[fortheloveoftee]

@vibewithlana

[mafuyuh]

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

I have spent my whole life terrified. Scared of things that could go wrong. Things that might happen; things that might not happen. But in time I’ve seen that it’s fear that’s the real enemy. So get up. Get out there, and live the life you want to live.

Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[bhlissfhully]

asya.rosh via instagram

[daniellecamp]

There are very few ethnic LGBT characters on television, so I am honored to represent them. I love supporting this cause, but it’s a big responsibility. - Naya Rivera (1987-2020)

[egotistic26]

[hecantelliaintmissinnomeals]

Fuck

[voie--lactee]

[willyoulovemeh]

I just want to be slightly drunk, half naked, and completely on top of someone.

[caitlinjapa]

Self-sabotage is knowing exactly what you need to do to improve but not doing it. It’s procrastinating doing the very things that you know will make you happier. It’s waiting till things are 100% perfect till you do them, but that of course never happens. It’s remaining in the comfort zone because of the fear of failure or uneasiness of change. It’s a mindset that you may be completely unaware of until you really think about it. So think about it. Are you a prisoner of your own thoughts? If you are, take responsibility and acknowledge you put yourself into that prison. But know that you have the power to free yourself.

(via happyvibes-healthylives)

[idk-pal]

Can you imagine getting home from work and COOKING with the love of your life in your kitchen, together!! In comfy pjs and dancing to music while it rains outside! Then after you eat you go and snuggle up for a movie in your king sized bed and your dogs come and join you can you EVEN imagine??

[flawedinthefantasy]

Yesterday I had a reading (yes I do that now, here and there). And it was really good, actually. 

L is not the one. That’s like...glaringly obvious at this point. He blocked me on Whatsapp and Fetlife, which really hurt my feelings. Also, he’s dating some white girl a few years younger than him, which really isn’t his MO. Even though he’s in a relationship, he’s also still active on Fetlife. I was distraught when I saw that they were together, he’d introduced her to his college friends and they’d all gone skiing together. I was heart broken, actually. She made her IG public for a little while and posted a live of them at a basketball game. Seeing them together, it broke my heart. Everything I’d thought and fantasized about L just never came to pass.

BUT. I’m over it now lol. I just deserve so much better. I’m in medical school, I’ve lost 70 pounds (with more to come), I’m funny and caring and amazing and feminine. L not seeing that is his own problem. And that’s what the reader yesterday told me. That he’d eventually come back with a possibly tempting offer but I shouldn’t take it because it’s bullshit. L has been a liar since literally before we even met in person. But I allowed myself to be blindsided by everything “good” he had going on. Why waste my time and emotions on that when I can just have better?

The reader discussed my future man. Whether or not it’s actually true, that will be determined but it did lift my spirits. He’s well-educated, with caramel skin (thank God he’s not white lol), a really nice guy, taller than me with some meat on him, funny, etc. Just everything that I deserve and should have TBH. And I’m looking forward to meeting him or whoever my soulmate is meant to be. 

I have lots more to write but not enough time. Longer, more detailed post coming soon.

[realifedreamgirl]

moodboard: 🧖🏾‍♀️

[thecatalleya-deactivated2021021]

thecatalléya

[flawedinthefantasy]

this holiday season gets a 3/10 from me. 

my parents are in Ghana so i’m in my house alone and it blows. i was all alone at school and came home to be alone as well. the loneliness is palpable tbh. growing up, the holidays weren’t that great in my house and it really hasn’t gotten better as an adult. i’m so tired of being alone and lonely and miserable. i deserve to have companionship, a romantic partner who loves me and cares for me that i can be myself with. i’m going to get all that i’m owed and i’m feeling moderately gung ho about 2019 but right now, on christmas eve (also my dad’s birthday), sitting in my house alone for the last several days, i just feel so low and emotional. 

[flawedinthefantasy]

dreamt that L and I smashed raw, knowing that i wasn’t on BC and could get pregnant. hm..

anyway 2018 year in review coming up soon.

[theverykenyansthings]

[aw1998monsters]

Cartier Love bracelet

“Unlike traditional bracelets, which are either wide enough to slip them over the hand onto the wrist or can readily be opened in order to put them on, the Love bracelet is designed to be opened only using a special screwdriver that is supplied with every bracelet. The screwdriver is also available in the form of a necklace, allowing the bracelet to be “locked” onto one person while the “key” is kept around the neck of another as a symbol for their commitment to their relationship.“