Welcome to the shit show

23, he/they, Aus BLOCK DON'T REPORT TW: ED, SH,MH

[fleetingillusionsblog]

Intro post

Hi, I’m Lukas, 23, he/they. I live in Australia. I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD, CPTSD, and anorexia. Having to start again with a new Tumblr because my old account got removed :(

I have been in counselling since I was 6 years old. I was only diagnosed with an ED in early 2025. I recently moved out and started restricting more. When I failed to restrict, I ended up in a general mental health psych ward for 4 days. They released me because I have an ED and they don’t deal with that. They did refer me to an ED ward in my area for outpatient, but some people in my care team want me to do inpatient.

🌿H: 165 CM

🌿SW: 130 kgs (25/01/2025)

🌿CW: 84 kgs (08/05/2026)

🌿GW1: 100 kgs (12/10/2025)

🌿GW2: 80 kgs ()

🌿GW2: 60 kgs ()

🌿UGW: 40 kgs ()

[angelotta]

lol get it cause we wanna look like skeletons

[fleetingillusionsblog]

So in the last 3 weeks I have lost 12 kgs, they are now talking inpatient on an eating disorder ward. I feel like I don't deserve that level of treatment bc I am still a high weight. I know I should look at it like I have lost over 50 kgs in the past 18 months and ED's aren't weight disorders. I start uni next month, I don't kmow if I will be able to do that and inpatient.

[allieanastar]

Why eat it if you know what it tastes like?

[elegantill]

Back worse than ever

[fleetingillusionsblog]

I need to be thin enough to creep people out

[elegantill]

Back worse than ever

[allieanastar]

Why eat it if you know what it tastes like?

[report-me-again-i-dare-you]

getting on tumblr like *cracks knuckles* "okay it's time to get serious about this disorder" as if I haven't been struggling with it since I was a child. if that isn't serious idk what is

[fleetingillusionsblog]

So I lost another 4 kgs, so thats 10 kgs in 3 weeks

[fleetingillusionsblog]

Omg the other day when I was in the pych ward a nurse told me she had anorexia and gave me pro 4@4 tips. Like wtf was up with the ward

[fleetingillusionsblog]

So... I got discharged from the phych ward !!!!

[fleetingillusionsblog]

What i had today in the phych ward(05/05/2026):

- Breakfast: 1 Coffee

- Lunch: 2 chocolate ensure plus

- Dinner: 2 banana ensure plus

- Supper: one Vegemite sandwich

Total: 1478cals

[mustratd]

Scrolling on Tumblr instead of eating

[fleetingillusionsblog]

What i had today in the phych ward(04/05/2026):

- Breakfast: 1 Coffee, can spaghetti

- Lunch: 2 chocolate ensure plus, apple

- Dinner: 2 banana ensure plus, green beans

- Supper: cheese and Crackers

Total: 1755cals

[fleetingillusionsblog]

I am so tempted to refuse my ensure plus today and just have nothing

[pinkcaloriies]