literally @fleshylegos - Tumblr Blog

some birds are very intuitively named. looked up a sparrow going chipchipchip in my yard, it was a chipping sparrow. saw a black bird with red wings, it was a red winged blackbird. gray bird that sounds like a cat? gray catbird. the first time i saw a house finch it was perched on a windowsill. However, some birds are the red-bellied woodpecker

someofusarequeer

I gotta google something real quick

someofusarequeer

who named this bird

#i have to keep myself from getting mad at the bird because of its terrible name #it's not their fault #tag talking for the first time because I want to preserve the comedic timing of the post

ooppo

King shit ngl

joevo

I was curious and had to look some pictures up and honestly he's rocking those tits.

good for him

fleshylegos

he also won his tits by gambling.

contemptible-scoundrel

have fun with your "slutweed" or whatever, Im fine with my smartweed. [puffs on a corncob pipe while stroking chin thoughtfully] [clearly has a raging erection]

fleshylegos

It's Real And It's Pennsylvanian

max1461

A rabbi, a samurai, and a sex pervert walk into a bar. The bartender says "what will you guys be having today". The rabbi says "do you have anything kosher?" and the bartender replies that he'll check in the back. While he's gone, the samurai turns to the rabbi and says "kosher... explain this to me. Why is it that you will not eat certain foods, even if they are perfectly good?"

The rabbi replies, in a stereotypical rabbi voice, "Keeping kosher is part of the Jewish law. We are loyal to G-d, and we express that loyalty by following the laws that G-d has set."

The samurai contemplates this for a moment, letting out a deep, manly, baritone, sexy, almost erotic but at the same time stoic and serious, stereotypical samurai grunt, and says "so you are a people of Honor... loyalty to one's master is an Honorable thing."

The samurai then turns to the sex pervert. "How about you, sex pervert? Do you have Honor?"

The sex pervert says "yes I do, samurai san. When I do all kinds of crazy sex shit, like upside-down fucking and the forbidden Greek Trombone technique, I always make sure to establish a safe word with my partner in case things get too wild. Even in the midst of a ridiculous sex party where we're all putting lampshades on our heads and running around with our dicks out, I would respect that safe word."

The samurai contemplates for a minute. "Hmm. In a way, that is Honorable. According to bushidō, a samurai must always abide by his word".

Then, they hear a noise in the bushes outside. The camera zooms in on the samurai and his eyes tighten and he gets ready to draw his sword. The rabbi looks concerned but not fearful, hopeful that he can convince any would-be attacker to show the trio mercy. The sex pervert gets a little hard, just in case whoever comes out of the bushes might want to have sex with him. But, the guy who comes out of the bushes turns out to be the pizza guy! He's delivering a pizza to another client at the bar.

After that, the rabbi, samurai, and sex pervert leave the bar, having understood each other's ideologies just a little bit better.

angelicguy

cryptotheism

ishowdespair-deactivated2026012

my-commc

draintheblood

imagine if aliens found the dead body of a human being exploded in the vacuum of space and they started making fun of the mutilated corpse calling it “splatter alien” and saying it was the ugliest alien in the whole galexy. and then made stuffed animals of it to sell to their alien kids. that’s what happened on this planet to the blob fish

fleshylegos

fight the slander. post pressurized blobfish