Let me know if you would rather send questions like this to your main but I’ve been wondering… I don’t have fantasies like this anymore but I used to have this fantasy where a hot suicidal guy comes to me and I kill him
and stuff like he wanted me to (obviously i wouldnt do that in real life ) but I’ve heard that hearing about suicide can encourage people that are suicidal to kill thenselves it’s called suicide contagion or something how would you balance fantasies like that with the knowledge that suicide contagion is a thing?
Hi, so this is actually a really interesting question, and I kind of want to dive into it as someone who is actually autassassinophilia (has a paraphilia for being killed) due to chronic suicidal ideation.
I think the first thing that needs to be established is that "suicide contagion" is a very fear-mongering term, and discourages people from sharing their experiences or finding ways to vent. The psychology field wants suicidal people to censor themselves as much as possible.
Yes, "suicide contagion" is real in the sense that when one person kills themself, other people around them may start to do the same. The reason why this happens isn't because suicide is "contagious", but rather that these people were either:
1- Already suicidal, and had just been too scared to go through with it, but seeing someone else do it first demystified it for them.
2- Was close to the suicidal person, and becomes suicidal after their loss.
Grouping in coping methods like roleplay, vent art, etc into "suicide contagion" is dangerous, because it promotes censorship and promotes suicidal people to stray away from things that may help them.
Does roleplay and art sometimes worsen suicidal ideation in *some* people? Yes. But the "some" is the key word here. There is no one-size-fits-all coping method for suicidal ideation, the same way that there is no one-size-fits-all coping method for disordered paraphiles, or any mental condition for that matter.
Coming from the perspective of a suicidal person myself, being an autassassinophile is actually a coping method for me. Turning the feelings that make me miserable into fantasies that give me pleasure actually decreases my risk of self harm. It takes away the power of those emotions for me, and turns them into something that motivates me to roleplay with my partners.
Is this true for everyone? No. There are some people whose autassassinophilia leads them to be more suicidal, and they struggle to feel gratified because they never get a real death in the end of roleplays. And for those people, its often better to practice not engaging in that paraphilia, or to try and reframe their fantasy in their mind (which takes a lot of mental work.)
When it comes to being an erotophonophile (having a paraphilia for killing others), I think it boils down to finding the right kind of autassassinophile to engage with. Check in on your partner(s) after a roleplay, ask them how they feel, if it was gratifying. With open and honest communication, you can eventually find the right match for you.
Additionally, not all autassassinophiles are suicidal. Some of them are only attracted/aroused to it in fantasy, not in reality. So you could also just look for a nonsuicidal autassassinophile.
Or, if you're really worried, you could find someone who is not an autassassinophile and also not suicidal, but is fine with roleplaying it for your sake.
@support-for-the-suicidal @thisis-suicidism may have more to say on this matter, but you're not harming anyone by being an erotophonophile. You just need to find the right partner(s) to engage with. And don't hesitate to make fictional depictions of your fantasy, if you think it would benefit you - I promise you, lots of people, even suicidal people themselves like me, can positively resonate with your paraphilic thoughts.