I'm dead

violet harmon seventeen stuck "Fifteen minutes with you, well, I wouldn't say no.. Oh, people said that you were virtually dead, and they were so wrong."

[transpar3nt-bitch]

[filthy-god-damn-horror-show]

Michael didn’t allow himself to feel much of anything at all unless it was carnally based and steeped in the suffering of those around him but if there was one person he would never wish to see suffer, it was his sister. The emotion alone left a bittersweet taste to linger on his tongue which felt heavy in his mouth as if his silver words had turned to lead. Although he had never met his mother, he was more like her than he knew and it went beyond the mere color of his eyes mimicking hers. “Dead serious, Violet.” he ironically stated but the acerbic bite was missing from his chosen tones.

[flightlessviolet-blog]

He was telling the truth and she knew it, the compassion in his eyes was rare and it gleamed through the dark hallway. The only light coming from the bright and luminous hospital lights. She hated how they'd been changed from the soft yellow light to this bright and blinding white light. She looked up and then back down for a moment, blinking from the spots on her eyes she faintly smiled a moment. "You know, my entire life it was just me, no siblings. I wasn't afraid of anything, things changed. Now, well look at me. The broken girl who had so much 'potential' is staring down the barrel of an eternity like this." Her words were bitter, teeth sunk into her bottom lip, hard enough for blood to run into her mouth. She just stood there, wondering what his next words would be.

[filthy-god-damn-horror-show]

“Long story short, Dad told me what happened. I’m not going to ask for details because I literally couldn’t care less but… Hey…” his tone softened a bit. “The usual sarcasm aside and everything… I’m here for you, Petals. I’m your brother, I’m supposed to make the boogeyman go away but I think I’m a little late for that plus I might be him…” he attempted to lighten the mood.

[flightlessviolet-blog]

"Long story short huh?" She asked rhetorically as he continued to speak. What her brother was saying was touching, she had really never seen his serious soft side and she liked it. She liked that he wasn't completely like Tate.

Violet really did appreciate what he was saying, but her pessimism got the complete better of her. "You really mean that?" She asked not meaning to be rude but everything was still so raw. 

[filthy-god-damn-horror-show]

“Vi…?”

“We missed those pivotal hide and seeks years but… Can you come out?”

[flightlessviolet-blog]

"Michael?" Violet asked turning on her heel to see him by the basement door.

"What's up?"

[renaissancefloyd-blog-blog]

[givemeahifive]

[flightlessviolet-blog]

filling the awkward silences || violet&nate

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

Nathaniel looked away from the girl in hopes that he wouldn’t have to see the pain in her expression.  He could only hear it in her voice and even then, it still pricked his heart, even if it was slight.  He didn’t say anything, or make remarks toward her expressive thoughts, because he knew that she was speaking from a feeling of betrayal, and trying to argue otherwise would only make matters worse.  Although there was a large portion of him that did feel the same way she did, he still hoped that wasn’t the case with Tate, because if it were, he’d soon get bored of Stephanie and end up hurting her.

“Vi, I don’t blame you.  I did the same, in a sense.  Steph was the only person I wanted to talk to when I was with her.  I didn’t care much for others, and even when I would talk to someone else, she was always on my mind.  I just… ugh.”  He stopped rambling, because he had heard her sound as if she were about to cry.  Oh God.  Please don’t.  He didn’t think this for the sake of not wanting to be there when she cried, but more so because he didn’t know how to comfort someone whilst doing this.  When she had managed to fight back her tears, he slowly brought his gaze back to her, a bit nervously.

“I honestly don’t know how to answer that.  I’m on the same boat with you though.  It’s kinda fucked up if you think about it, but… what’s done is done, I guess.  I only hope that you’re able to heal soon, because I know how badly it sucks, and that’s saying a lot.  For you more than me, because so much of your time was invested in him.”  He meant this.  Even if he rarely spoke to the girl, he hated seeing her so broken like this.  He was able to empathize for her, seeing that they were basically walking in the same pair of shoes.  He understood that there was more to it for her though, and despite how much he had been hurting, it was much worse for her.

[flightlessviolet-blog]

Vi did her best to hold her breath as she listened to him speak. His kind and soft words were helping but she knew there was no way she wanted to cry in front of him, that was just the fore front of vulnerability. Something she hated to show, not even to Tate. It wasn't fair on him though, hell she didn't even know how to comfort crying people, how was he supposed to be that way with her? Regaining her strength to speak she met his gaze, the sympathy was clear in his eyes, and she appreciated that.

"I get it, you know you love her. But despite being in what seems to be the same situation," she spoke lightly. Hoping she wasn't going to offend him or something along those lines. "You have a way out. You know this place is toxic, but you're alive, you're living and you can get out. You don't have to be stuck knowing about every little thing that goes on between Tate and Steph. Because trust me, you find out one way or another." Part of her wanted to yell and scream at him, push him out the front door and hope he never looks back. "All signs point to get the fuck out of here before you end up like me, or worse, like Tate"

Violet kept an eye on him to see how he'd react to her words. She hoped the shock of becoming someone he clearly hated might get him to run away as fast as he can. But she wasn't sure just yet. "I'm just saying, I think you've seen what this place does to people. But you have no idea what it's like to not be able to leave and live this nightmare for the rest of eternity."

[musicalblogging]

Visit Original Link

Imagine Dragons // Radioactive

[thenameofmycovenistropico-blog]

[flightlessviolet-blog]

filling the awkward silences || violet&nate

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

“Yeah, I guess it is.”  Nate didn’t find any offense in her question.  It was honest curiosity, and if she had never asked, he probably would have brought it up anyway.  ”See, the funny thing is though, you would think I hate him because she loves him,”  His eyes wandered around the room briefly before he pursed his lips.  ”…but, it’s so much more than that.  I don’t care, how happy he makes her.  I don’t trust him.  Not one bit.  I know you’ve seen a whole other side to Tate, but from what I’ve gathered, he doesn’t care.”

He waited, as her soft voice filled the silence after his rant.  Immediately, he shook his head as a responsive gesture.  ”Oh, don’t even worry about it.  Honestly, I think if I don’t talk about it with someone, then I’ll probably drive myself mad.  What better person to have heart-to-heart with than you?  Like you said, we’re both fucked over, right?”  He breathed in deeply and let it all go in a slow, and steady motion.  He was stressed, clearly.  He had felt like Stephanie was the one person who understood him, and now…

“I just don’t get it, y’know?  How she was able to tear me in half, yet here I am,”  His gaze wandered over to Violet.  ”Still loving her just as much as I did before.”

[flightlessviolet-blog]

She realised how much it actually hurt him to say that he and Steph were over. Even if things were the same with her and Tate she just couldn't bring herself to say it, not right now anyway. "And you'd think I'd hate her, but I don't. Because you're absolutely right, Tate can't be trusted. It's not like Steph intended to fall in love with Tate. I don't even think Tate intended to fall in love with Steph," she paused swallowing the lump in her throat. "I think Tate just, get's bored, he causes trouble to escape boredom." Whether he still loved Violet or not, she didn't know. But she knew no matter what that this was definitely it. No more turning back time, things would never be the same.

"It's just, we've never really spoken before any of this, you know? I guess that was more my fault than yours. My thoughts on it were always, I couldn't trust anyone except Tate." Violet paused holding back tears, she promised herself she wouldn't get upset infront of anyone. Once she knew she could speak she looked up at him again. "I guess we both know how well that worked out."

A small shrug fell from her shoulders as everything was still for a moment. "I understand," she said breaking the silence yet again. "I mean no wonder I have trust issues right, and if we're being honest this is the most I've told anyone other than Tate about, well anything in a really long time." That felt like she had just been punched in the face. Those words made her feel pathetic and ignorant. But you never can help you who love and trust. "What I don't understand is, how they can both love, or at least claim to love us both at the same time as each other."

[flightlessviolet-blog]

filling the awkward silences || violet&nate

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

As she began to explain herself, he eased up a bit.  He wasn’t used to seeing her around much, but he could tell there was a lot weighing down on her shoulders.  At the mention of Tate and Steph, he bit his lower lip and exhaled deeply through his nostrils.  It had been a few days since he had spoken to the brunette he had fallen in love with, yet she had been on his mind ever since.  He made a gesture towards the room, and bought his gaze back to Violet.  ”C’mon.  I’m not really supposed to be out of my room right now.”

Once inside, he shut the door behind them as quietly as he could, then turned and sat on the edge of his bed, rubbing at his neck in a stressful manner.  ”I don’t really know how to answer that.”  He confessed, while his fingers fiddled with each other; a long pause filling the air before he continued.  ”You know that feeling you get, when someone punches you in the stomach, or you land on it or some shit.  That’s kind of how I feel when I think about all this.  I know that you and Tate have had a lot more history than Steph and I, but… I still feel like I lost a huge part of me.”  He didn’t know why he was telling her all this.  He had spoken to her a few times, and a few times only.

[flightlessviolet-blog]

It really hadn't been that long since she and Tate had actually broken up, she didn't realise how raw she actually was. When Nate told her to come inside his room she pulled herself through. "Sure," Violet said, the room had changed so much. It was odd to think it was actually the room her parents used to sleep in. 

Violet stood awkwardly in his room. It wasn't him, it was her and her amazing ability to feel like she didn't belong. When Nate started speaking she felt pity for him. But she knew exactly how he felt, maybe even more so. Though this wasn't the time to say that. "Yeah, I know the feeling." Violet wasn't expecting him to open up like that, but wasn't that what she wanted? Someone to talk to about everything in the situation other than Steph or Tate. "I ah, so it's over for you two as well then?" She really didn't mean to say that, and she mentally kicked herself right after. 

Bowing her head she just shrugged and said quietly. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Like I said, I just wanted to see how you were through this bullshit. I came, I saw, you seem just as fucked over as myself. I'm sorry."

[bandomjams-blog]

Visit Original Link

Paramore - Still Into You

I should be over all the butterflies

But I’m into you (I’m Into You)

And baby even on our worst nights

I’m into you (I’m into you)

[flightlessviolet-blog]

filling the awkward silences || violet&nate

[nathaniel-deluca-blog]

It had been roughly half an hour since the nurses checked the rooms to make sure the patients had been in bed.  ’Lights out,” they would say as they would poke their heads in.  However, sleeping was a laborious task for Nathaniel.  Often times, he wouldn’t sleep at all.  You’re going to go insane if you don’t sleep, then you’re really going to belong in here, he thought to himself.  He sighed deeply, and glanced around in the dark, which seemed utterly pointless, but he did so anyway.  He set his book down.  Dante’s Inferno, which had been suggested to him by Steph.  He tried to fight thinking about her, but sometimes it was just impossible.

He jumped a bit at the sound of knocking.  A quick roll of his eyes, and he stood, speaking before he reached the doorknob.  ”I heard you.  Lights out, I know, I know.  Jesus.”  As his hand twisted it and the door opened, his brows furrowed.  There was no one in sight.  He took a step further out to look around, and was taken by surprise by who had knocked on the door.  ”Violet?  What’re you doing?”  He asked with extreme curiosity.

[flightlessviolet-blog]

Violet froze for a moment as she heard Nate speak and then the door opening not to long after that. His shaky voice came through loud and clear and Violet couldn't help but cringe before cursing under her breath. "Shit." It was barely a whisper but she brought herself to stand up straight and turn to face him. 

A small spin on her toes, a deep breath before answering him. "I-- ah, I'm sorry." She started stuttering slightly. Every word she spoke felt bitter, like she was spitting blood. "I really shouldn't be here but," she was about to stop herself from speaking to him but she knew she had to. "Look I know about everything, between... Steph and Tate and I really, I just wanted to see how you were. What happened between you two, Tate said she told you but I nothing else." Violet's eyes were still raw with sadness and a slight hint of betrayal. She just hoped he was okay.

[flightlessviolet-blog]

filling the awkward silences || violet&nate

Pacing, slowly but back and forth. Violet breathed in slowly, it was odd how much she staggered her breath, even though she was dead and it wasn't necessary anymore. Come on, Vi. You got this. You need to talk to someone else, he is the only one there is. She told herself before knocking on the room where Nathaniel De Luca was residing.

She waited a moment, no answer. Odd, maybe he's not in? More lies. Violet just turned and tried to get away without being bothered.

[adam-harrison-deactivated201304]

“Least I got you to smile a bit, sort of. You’ve missed me, I know it and you know it. I’m the most fun in this house compared to the rest of these corpse-esque people we’ve got around here.”

[flightlessviolet-blog]

"Sort of," she quoted. "I guess you're right. And I guess you're a good distraction. But trust me Adam, for the time being I'm so not in anyway going anywhere near you in a sexual sense. You got that?"

[adam-harrison-deactivated201304]

“Hmm nope, I’m a horny ghost Vi, sue me. You’d think with a house filled with deranged, psychopathic, lonely ghosts and tweens you’d get at least a handy but no I have to settle for the old as dirt nurse in the hospital wing.”

[flightlessviolet-blog]

"Ugh, gross. I really didn't need that picture in my head."

[damagedlittlejesse]

[flightlessviolet-blog]

"Well, why don't you go ask Tate. I'm sure he can tell you what's wrong just as much as I can. Since I really don't even know what I'm feeling."