DEAR [[CHURCH]] LEADERS, [[SCHOOL]] TEACHERS & [[RULE]] MAKERS;
*Warning; This blog is going to get uncomfortable, it is going to scrape down to the bone and then scrape further, it may make you feel victimised, it will hopefully make you re-think your preconceptions and re-model your actions. The writer of this blog makes no apologies for any of these facts, in fact she hopes that it makes you cringe and squirm and question your ideas because it is often only through becoming uncomfortable ourselves that we can make others feel more comfortable in being theirselves*.
Dear Church leaders, school teachers and rule makers,
There are many things that I wish I could tell you about the world of mental ill health, so many experiences that I wish I could accurately describe to you, so many moments that I wish I could enable you to live through and see through another perspective. You see, 20% of children/youth aged between 13-18 live with a mental health condition – that’s huge, and it’s not just an issue for young people – 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. (For more stats see ‘Mind’; http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/statistics-and-facts-about-mental-health/how-common-are-mental-health-problems/). If you think you don’t know anyone suffering with mental ill health, think again. Look around you dear Church leader, school teacher, rule maker – open your eyes to the world around you, the very real world around you. Open your eyes to a broken human population. Open your eyes to reality.
Dear Church leaders, school teachers and rule makers,
Gone are the days where there was just one person within a village suffering. Gone are the days where we locked people up and cut away sections of their brains. Gone are the days where we shamed and stigmatised people, adding to the already crushing weight of their conditions. Or are they? You see, dear church leader, school teacher, rule maker, we are still locking people away by not affording them opportunities to share their stories publicly, we are still cutting away sections of peoples brains when we only see them through the light of their illness and we constantly tap away at them, making sure to remind them to “not take on too much”, we are still shaming and stigmatising people. Every. Single. Day. There is one death every forty seconds via suicide worldwide, that means that whilst you’ve been reading this at least one person has taken the decision to end their life – and rest assured that in the world right now, many more are debating that decision, planning their next move, biding their time until they take that final step – that step that they believe will remove their pain. But it’s okay isn’t it dear church leader, school teacher, rule maker, because you don’t know anyone affected – or if you do, you only know one person, one little person who’s story is insignificant and shouldn’t be shared because who else could possibly learn anything from the horrors that they have endured? Who else could possibly take anything away from something so very personal? Of course, their stories are far too horrifying to share, so we silence them and slowly but surely we once again lock people away, cut sections from their brains and add shame and stigma to their condition.
Dear Church leaders, school teachers and rule makers,
Why is it that we can talk so openly about “the big C”, the uncontrollable replication of cells leading to tumours that change people’s lives forever – whether treatable or terminal. Why is it that we can talk so openly about horrors such as world wars, terror attacks and child abuse? Why is it that we like to discuss past events? Is it to educate the younger generation? – In part. Is it to draw lessons from such events? – Highly likely. So, why do we attempt to silence the rising problem of mental ill health? Or, even worse, joke about it? In every other area of life, it seems logical to address problems and to reach out our hand to help people up, so why not mental health issues dear church leader, school teacher, rule maker?
Dear Church leaders, school teachers and rule makers,
You have what it takes to be the difference. You hold the keys to unlock people, you hold the scalpel and you can put it down before you remove yet another chunk of someone’s brain, you can choose to speak life affirming truth over people’s lives rather than agreeing with a generation of stigma lovers.
Dear Church leaders, school teachers and rule makers,
This is where it gets real. This is where it gets uncomfortable. This is where you have to get real about how much you really know about mental health, commit to bridging the gap in your knowledge and strive to be the change you want to see within this generation and within this world.
Dear Church leaders, school teachers and rule makers,
Do you want to know why a nineteen year old girl with major clinical depression, generalised anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, a permanently scarred body and countless suicide attempts under her belt is writing you this letter? The answer is simple – I have had enough of you and your stupidly simplistic worldview that seems to believe that people with mental ill health need to do life in isolation, that we can put a time limit on our illness and that we can “snap out of it” on demand. I have had enough of being told that my story is not appropriate to be shared publicly. I have had enough of hearing your voices drone on and on about this crisis, that crisis, this government policy, that government policy when all the time there are people sitting at your feet in desperate need of a word that would make them feel like they’re not alone, like they don’t have to struggle and fight silently, that it is okay to not be okay, that it is fine to be hurting, that being an inpatient is okay, being an outpatient is okay, that being mentally ill is okay and that recovering is also okay. I am sick of you locking people away, removing sections of their brains and stigmatising them because these are beautiful people, Godly people, lovely people, intelligent people and if you just shut up, stepped aside and put down your microphone you may hear the sound of them rising up and being empowered to live out their lives boldly, courageously and without fear. So, yes, church leaders, school teachers and rule makers I am talking to you. The clock is ticking, there are people slipping through the net every single day.
You have been given an amazing opportunity and you are positioned with power to change the shape of people lives. Yes, you deserve respect but you are not without fault. Yes, you deserve to be given the platform but you are not the only one with a story, a talent or a calling. Yes, you have a pulpit but you need discernment to know what to preach from it. Revelation 12:11 tells us how victory happens – by the blood of the Lamb AND the word of the testimony. This blog post started as an idea to educate others following an ugly encounter with an anonymous person in an anonymous Church last week who, when approached about the possibility of testifying to God’s goodness in my life during my ongoing battle with mental health, knocked the wind out of my sails by saying that my story of depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicide and inpatient care was inappropriate to share with people within Church. Dear Church leaders, so many of your congregation are likely to be either directly or indirectly affected by mental health at some point within their lives and I firmly believe that it is time that we started equipping people with the knowledge of how to minister to those struggling. Throwing nuggets of scripture at people telling them to “be anxious about nothing” when they have an anxiety disorder is simply not an appropriate way of ministering to people’s needs. Standing in the way of people stepping out into their God given call because of what their past looks like is simply not acceptable and only ever allows sin and affliction to dominate further. Dear Church leader, I firmly believe that now is the time to walk boldly into a future where the love of God is accessible to everyone, where the microphone is available to all believers and where the loudest sound is the flowing river of the beautiful grace of God rather than your judgmental and slanted slang. You can dress your ministry up in whatever fancy way you choose – you can hand out flyers, you can serve freshly baked cake and you can wear a beautiful outfit – but unless you are taking Jesus to people and empowering them to step out and change their worlds you are failing. Do not let people become disaffected because of your own lack of compassion. Do not let opportunities for the body to be edified by the testimony of another slip past because of your own fear. Do not let another life be taken by suicide because of your own inability to understand mental health conditions and sensitively declare the healing name of Jesus over them. God is forever turning peoples “mess” into their “message”, and I firmly believe that there is power in feeding on the faith and journeys of other people. Why don’t you make a conscious decision to check in on those who may be struggling, to make yourself more approachable, to make the first move? Why don’t you make a conscious decision to live out Jesus’ unchanging message of love, forgiveness, empowerment and release? The world is waiting to see how you respond to this and many other issues of our day.
The work you do establishes the paths of youngster’s lives and changes them forever. You are more than the man/woman who calls the register, leads the class and marks the assignments. You have a unique and amazing opportunity to mould the clay of a young person’s life – you are able to make a genuine difference. I beg of you to take it seriously, I beg of you not to let your relationship with your children be about a 45 minute math lesson. I beg of you to be bold in calling out mental health concerns and to be resolute in leading your children to help. The road home is always much easier with a familiar face cheerleading you. Please make a commitment to speak out, and allow others to share their stories. Please make your classrooms safe places, stigma-free zones where people can be all that they are right now – where children can express all of their happiness and pain and you can help them to process it, to package it and to step into a future that is no longer defined by the hurt of their past.
I long for the day where you would give mental health the consideration that it deserves, where instead of offering people the opportunity to wear identification bracelets you would offer them outstanding therapy services, you would stop charging them ridiculous fees for necessary medication and you would take off your labels of “prime minister”, “police officer”, “health care worker”, “head teacher” and you would put on your label of “human being” and in doing so help others to be stripped of their own crushing labels, giving them the freedom and liberty to live at a person with depression rather than a depressed person.
Finally then, my dearest Church leaders, school teachers and rule makers,
If you take nothing else from this post, let it be that there is a bright, bold, brilliant future ahead – slightly beyond the horizon of stigma and shame. It is a future of equality and empowerment rooted in a culture of brotherhood where absolutely no one gets left behind or forgotten and absolutely no one is left to feel small or insignificant. An unimaginably brilliant future awaits – will you be part of it?
I am begging you, in this mental health epidemic, please be the light. “We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don’t get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won’t solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we’re called home” – To Write Love On Her Arms (http://twloha.com/learn/story/).
Tumblr; http://floating-not-sinking.tumblr.com/
Facebook; https://www.facebook.com/lauren.hickman.562
Twitter; @LaurenHickman95
