secret relationship starters
Feel free to alter to fit muses.
“I am not ready for them to find out about us!”
“It’s cool, [name] promised to cover for me.”
“My roommate’s out of town. Want to stay the weekend?”
“We’ve got to stop being so careless.”
“Look, if we get found out, I could get fired!”
“It’s hard to believe you actually care about me when you’re so hellbent on keeping this from all your friends.”
“I can’t tell them! Do you have any idea how they’d react?”
“Jesus, with all this sneaking around, it’s like being closeted all over again.”
“We have to tell them sooner or later.”
“Let’s tell them the truth. Tonight.”
“I’m only dating [name] as a cover. You’re still my baby.”
“[Name] agreed to ‘date’ me until we’re ready to tell everyone.”
“I spent two hours hiding underneath your bed until they left!”
“Shit! Someone’s coming! Get in the closet, get in the closet!”
“Let’s just tell them! What’s the worst that could happen?”
“No one can know about us.”
“Let’s just keep this between us for now, okay?”
“People wouldn’t like it if they knew, you know that.”
“I’m not ashamed of you, I’m just not ready to tell anyone yet.”
“You still haven’t told your parents about us? But you promised!”
“It’s kind of fun, having a secret.”
“Let’s go out of town. Somewhere where nobody knows us.”
“Yeah, so… I may have accidentally told [name] about us…”
“I don’t care what you do, just get [name] to promise to keep quiet. Pay them if you have to.”
“I’m tired of being your dirty little secret!”
“Once I break up with [name], then we tell people.”
“But you’re going to divorce them soon, right?”
“This isn’t a relationship! Relationships don’t involve one party climbing down a fire escape because the other is too ashamed to admit they’re dating them!”
“Okay, fine, but can I at least tell [name]?”
“If I don’t tell someone, I’m going to go crazy!”
“Shhh, be quiet. Remember, someone’s still downstairs…”
“Fuck it. Let’s get a motel.”
“Either we’re open about this, or I’m ending it.”
“When I said I liked you, I didn’t expect to be sneaking around all the time.”
“I can’t do this anymore.”
“Why haven’t you told your friends about me? Is it because I’m not as well-off as you are?”
“This was fun at first, but the novelty’s worn off.”
“It just feels really shitty, to be the secret boyfriend/girlfriend.”
“Look, either we date secretly, or we don’t date at all.”
“I’m not supposed to be dating, period!”
“If my parents found out about us, they’d go ballistic.”
“Just one more year until I’m out from under their roof and I can date whoever the hell I want.”
“Dating in secret never works out.”
“Where are we even supposed to go for our dates?”
“Just once, I’d like us to go on a date that didn’t end in us having to get a motel room out of town because we don’t want to get caught.”
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