I’m indigenous heligolandic Frisian and Nigerian and I love your account because I relate to so many of your posts. But I’m just wondering how you balance your identity yk? Cause I’m so proud to be heligolander because of how fiercely we fought for our island and I feel almost nothing in relation to my Nigerian side.
Sorry this took so long and sorry this is so long 💛💛💛💛💛
Honestly, I'm not sure I do balance my identity. I feel more like a pendulum swinging between extremes than an artist walking a tightrope. I go weeks and months hyperfixating and exploring my Forest Finn identity (as I did while making this account) and then weeks and months exploring what it means to be Ghanaian and a proud Pan-African.
I believe all things can and do coexist, and there will always be cultural similarities that help reunify a split self, but overall my brain is very dichotomous.However, to address the internal schism that multi-ethnic individuals experience, we must analyze the roots of the divide. I spent so long feeling there was an inherent internal divide due to cultural clash, but in actuality, that had little to do with my feelings. For me (and maybe for you, since we have a similar mix, which is very cool—it’s like meeting someone from an alternative universe in a TV show—I love it), the main issues stem from racism, language, and cultural clash.
"Hurt people hurt people." A part of me hates this phrase; it always felt like a cop-out, a half-apology whispered under someone's breath or a statement before a plea deal. It wasn't until I realized that unless I saw through this lens, I would never be able to reconcile my people who fought, whose homes were burned, who traveled through ice and tundra, who sang bear songs in the forest with my people who now call me a stranger, who poke and prod me like a piece of meat, asking questions they don't really care to have answered.
It still hurts when I go to my church (a Finnish church) and have to literally prove my ancestry at the doorstep, when I pronounce something wrong and they laugh, when I join an online group and get kicked out when they find out I'm not like them. It hurts because it doesn't make sense—how can my people, my motherland, reject me? "Hurt people hurt people" is the only thing that's gotten me through.
They have spent their lives being the prey and now, finally, they can be something else, someone else. They can become the hunter, so they take the chance—they pick up the spear and throw it at the easiest target.What they fail to understand is that by doing so, they have compromised themselves and only themselves. They have sided against our ancestors who bled, fought, and died to be recognized and to live free from the oppressors and xenophobes.
For me, being a Forest Finn means continuing to fight the battles of my ancestors and never compromising myself as some modern Forest Finns do. To do this, we must never reject who we are. Just as your ancestors fought fiercely for your land, so too must you fight fiercely for your place on it.
Another reason for my internal schism is language. Forest Finns spoke Värmland Savonian, a dialect of another dialect of an already widely agreed hard language to learn (Finnish). Due to forced assimilation, most modern Forest Finns speak Swedish, or the few who migrated back either speak Finnish or (like me) English.
This disconnect only emphasizes the divide I already feel due to being a proud Ghanaian. Sometimes communities lend out faux acceptance if you minimize your identity—please don't do it. They are lying and trying to play mental tactics, as i said just as your ancestors fought fiercely for your land, so too must you fight fiercely for your place on it.
I'm awful at languages. I'm thinking of learning Twi, but languages are not my strong suit. I even tried learning Ladino and found it incredibly difficult.Not understanding languages makes maintaining community significantly harder. However, due to the racism and xenophobia in white ethnic minority groups, I no longer view this as a negative. Instead, I see it as my ancestors keeping me safe and not allowing racists to sully my connection with them.
Instead, I try to reconnect with Forest Finn ideas and philosophies that are timeless (great respect for the bear, respect for our ancestors, respect for the forest as our home and protector). I then draw parallels with traditional Ghanaian beliefs such as those found in Vodun (great respect for our ancestors, great respect for nature as our home and protector).
In this way, the body becomes a temple and a melting pot—a sanctified space for the merging and birth of a third culture, born from the union of two previously separated cultures.You said that you feel a strong connection to being Heligolander but less so to feeling Nigerian. There are myriad reasons this might be the case. For me, it was due to internalized anti-African sentiment, which I broke down when I saw others reframe being native African as indigenous, I also explored traditional spirituality, followed more West African TikTokers and influencers, and listened to moreq Afrobeats (I love Rema so much and his new album is a perfect display of resistance that we're seeing in our new generation, an out right refusal to allow others or ourselves to demonise our cultural traditions in the name of white western acceptance) and Afro-origin based music in general.
Nigeria has fought for its land and independence just as hard since the dawn of its creation as any other nation and I can say that we Ghanaians (as much as we love to bicker with you) are so proud when we see you win, because you have always been at the forefront of so many movements throughout time.
As a West African, I understand how our governments currently aid the interests of the West rather than the indigenous peoples (us). However, what's happening in our neighboring countries with the alliance of Sahel states (Niger, Burkina Faso, and Mali) and the riots in Kenya has empowered me and MANY others to become even more Pan-African, breaking down prior internalized thoughts and ideals.
It's funny, before I saw your message, I was thinking of pivoting this blog towards documenting my journey with Vodun, Pan-Africanism, and creating a space for an anti-colonial resistance group to form. But then I thought, "No, I can't. This blog is strictly Forest Finn." But I guess I need to take my own advice—this blog isn't just about being a Forest Finn; it's about the nuances of identity. So, thank you so much for asking this because it's honestly helped me align some of my ideas and musings that I've kept locked away.
Identity is never easy, especially when the world tells you your identity innately clashes. I hope I've managed to answer your question somewhat and hopefully helped a tiny bit. I'm always here to chat, and my inbox is always open. I'd love to hear more about both indigenous Heligolandic and Nigerian culture, especially since we have very parallel identities in that sense so if you have a blog about it I'd love to follow it or as i said I'd love to also just hear about your experiencs of both cultures. But if you'd prefer not to and this is the last we speak, then I wish you the absolute best and hope you find the balance you're looking for.
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