Scrunge Bunge

This is for everything i’m holding back from texting in the group chat

[flutelynights]

I keep forgetting to eat and then at 4pm I’ll be like: I feel sick ??? What a mystery.

[flutelynights]

Two people that matches each others freak? oliver tree and that pink pixie chick.

[flutelynights]

I feel like we should utilize church confessionals for complaints as well. I have some and they sure aren’t doing anything in management. Come on, get me the boss. I just wanna talk. Honest.

[flutelynights]

I keep forgetting I have a diagnosed disability and I go “why can’t I do this thing as easily as I ought to 😰😰😰”

“You have a disability.”

“No, that can’t be right, I don’t look disabled.”

[flutelynights]

In speaking of the despicable me franchise, I never think about it until I see one of them trailers and then all hell breaks loose. It’s all I think about. As I lay me down to sleep and I close my little eyes I see a flash of black, gray, and yellow. I awake in The Land of Nod and overalls and evil engulfs me. What have I done to be imprisoned by visions? I don’t even speak the minion language. But Lord help me if I ever buy despicable me merchandise, and Lord help the directors if they refuse to make another movie.

[flutelynights]

I’ve been taking a leak at night by candlelight recently, and let me tell ya, I have never felt more skip-pity do-bop. Little bo peep can’t handle it. She done up and lost all her little sheep. Why? I’ve been racking up them wooly digits. 88, 89 little hoofed things jumping around. The old man he done bumped his head thrice. Me? Not once. My head clean and straight. They can’t comprehend these amounts of peacefulness. Dubious levels of jealousy in the air right now and I’m standing upwind. Them bed bugs having a whole presidential debate cause they can’t bite a mug who’s as snug in a rug as me. Man, pull out your nightgowns brothers and fight for the right to leak in antique

[flutelynights]

every time I hear the “espresso riff challenge” I wanna shoot something out of second hand embarrassment. I can’t take this anymore. Somebody take over flying the damn plane cause I quit.

[flutelynights]

Just opened Waze to set my alarm for the morning. This is the world George Orwell warned us of.

[flutelynights]

Fighting the urge to sleep on a yoga mat and blanket instead of buying a mattress for my bed frame. it’s just so damn comfy.

[flutelynights]

I wish I could fit in the little moving baby beds

[flutelynights]

My humor is for an audience of one and damn do excel. It hits every time.

[flutelynights]

Stonk market not doing well. I lost $15 😠😠‼️‼️‼️

[flutelynights]

I think courtrooms should work like rodeos. The lawyers should only get paid if they win their case.

[lawbyrhys]

Literal rodeo anology aside, this already exists. It's a practice known as working on a contingency basis, meaning the fee the attorney collects is contingent on the outcome of the case. Many lawyers represent their clients this way, most commonly personal injury lawyers.

[flutelynights]

so Some courtrooms are like rodeos. Would this make the lawyers ropers and bronco riders? And who would the judge and jury be?

[flutelynights]

Im on my phone so much so I decided to put my phone on black and white all day. It has been so bad that I was genuinely surprised when I pulled my hand away from a wound and the blood was not a hue of gray.

[flutelynights]

I think courtrooms should work like rodeos. The lawyers should only get paid if they win their case.

[flutelynights]

Can we please bring back bullying

[flutelynights]

I lost $10 in the stock market. This shit is so stupid.