27 @flwrgvrl - Tumblr Blog

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Here’s an update- I got another puppy back in mid january! Her name’s Umi 🖤

Hey what’s ur snap

$flwrgvrl :)

I’m really out here dead set on not having kids and not getting married. Now I’m starting to think maybe intimate relationships aren’t for me anymore. I have no interest in getting with anybody. It just feels like I’m adding unnecessary noise into my life and over stimulating myself.

Here are some more pics of the baby 🥰

Hello everyone!

It’s been a minute since I’ve posted on here. Just to update you on things in my life-

Here is a picture of my doggie Miso who is the love of my life. She’s helped me with so much this past year. Johnny and I decided on ending things. He’s seeing someone else and I’m happy he found someone who can give him the love he wants/needs. He’ll be moving out the end of this month. I’ve learned a lot about myself through the 2+ almost 3 years we’ve been together. I don’t hate him but I also have no feelings for him other than wishing him the best and hoping he could grow after we go separate ways and use our relationship as character development.

I also ended things with T*ny. Yes it’s censored bc my loved ones and I believe he is a dangerous man and mentioning his name would only give him more power. He is the reason for all my trauma even though we were together for like a month. I’m glad my friends and I saw all the red flags and I got out of it before things escalate into an abusive relationship.

My friend recommended I read this book on why and how abusers abuse their partners, not just physically but verbally and emotionally. So that way if I ever want to be in a relationship with anyone again (I highly doubt it) that I could spot the red flags sooner and don’t settle for anything less than I deserve- which is THE BEST.

Both my pcp and therapist who I’ve been keeping in touch with a lot this summer suggests and insist that miso is considered my esa, emotional support animal. From my grandmother passing earlier this year due to covid, things ending with Johnny, and shit that happened with t*ny- taking care and having miso around alleviates my anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. I believe she really saved me from ending it all. Which is one of the reasons why I don’t hate Johnny. If it wasn’t for him, I would’ve never met miso.

I’ve picked up painting again, but this time with gouache. I really enjoy it. It’s kinda like an in between medium of watercolor and acrylic. Trying to do more things I used to enjoy but gave up bc I couldn’t get it right on the first try or my adhd would get in the way and I end up trying to do 10 million things at once and never finish a piece. I’m working on practicing and filling up my small sketchbook before moving on to a big piece. I’m really excited to finish the book!!

Been also thinking of deleting my tumblr since I don’t really have any use for it anymore. No one really uses it anymore and only creepy weirdos message me on here.. and it weirds me out :/

chutzpadik-moved-deactivated201

if your abusers were actually interested in their own rehabilitation, they could do it without your help; if they wanted to stop being abusive, if they wanted you safe, they’d want you away from them, where you could no longer be hurt.

dont think that abusers can’t exploit language of accountability and healing to further their own abuse.