Sorry Tumblr. Fuck you
@staff
Cosmic Funnies
tumblr dot com
Doug Jones
🩵 avery cochrane 🩵
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Sade Olutola
h
art blog(derogatory)
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

titsay
$LAYYYTER
Mike Driver
almost home
Xuebing Du

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Keni
sheepfilms

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Discoholic 🪩
todays bird
seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
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seen from T1
seen from Thailand
@flyingkitten-things
Sorry Tumblr. Fuck you
@staff
So Long Gay Bowser………..
the holy grail
wrong
im sure i am missing some but we’re getting there
if you’re reading this
a lump sum of money is on the way to you
it happened today, damn that was like 3 days maybe?
It Works the money is on its way!
Need this.
Of course
It worked tho
I just won $500 off a scratch Ticket lottery.
ENERGY
plz m8
He tried to fake sleep and laughed when she caught him
My heart
😫❤️😫❤️😫❤️😫❤️
#BabyFever
Y'all trying to get me to have a baby, it won’t work
as we all know, the best vines are the ones with dogs. here’s a bunch of doggy vines!!!!!!
This made me v happy
Russian exorcisms be like
This bitch haunted… YEET
From what i could roughly understand: [no idea sorry] *GASP* *exhale* “In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, FUCK OFF, please.”
Wait for it…
*smoke emiting from clenched fist*
woman: OOOOoOOH NoO!!!! It’s meelltIINNGG!!
*ring melts off woman’s hand*
woman: MY PRECIOUS POWERRrRR RING! GONE FOORRVVERrrr..
woman: *screams like a pterodactyl*
I read the description and though “surely it’s not actually like that”
The contrast between the unbelievably extra voice acting and the extremely stiff and emotionless animation is what really makes this a masterpiece.
its back
That fuckin picture of that guy at agraveyard holdin like, a cup or smt, with a mothman sized moth with him, both staring directly at the camera is somehow the funniest image but I haven’t been able to find it in months
This one?
PRECISELY THAT ONE
My Mum and I get invited to lunch or dinner once a week by a good friend of ours. Mostly on weekend, he lets me decide if I want to eat Italian, Asian or something else, and then we go there.
My absolute favorite is a little Italian restaurant in our town. Not only because the food there is so tasty it should be illegal, but also because there is that one elderly waiter – Italian himself- who always makes my day.
The first time we went to that restaurant, we were not served by that guy, though, but by a younger, unlikeable young waiter. He didn’t greet us, brought the wrong drinks and didn’t once smile or anything.
The whole time, I felt quite uncomfortable around him, but I got a glimpse of that elderly waiter in the background, watching with a frown. He caught my interest because he looked just as uncomfortable by the younger’s display as I did.
And then, the young one made one last misstep – he turned towards my Mum and said, “What does the boy want to eat?”
There was a long pause where we all exchanged confused gazes, before I said, slowly but clearly, “I’m a girl, sir.”
(I wasn’t angry, mind you. It happens quite a lot to me – I close to never wear tight clothes, my hair is cut short and I never wear makeup. I see where it’s coming from, really.)
But what came then made me grit my teeth, because instead of being baffled or even embarrassed, the guy looked at me and said, “You’re kidding me, right?”
Before I could say anything – or calm my mum, because she gasped loudly in outrage – the elder waiter swooped in, bristling as he basically tore into the younger one. I couldn’t understand what he said, because he talked Italian the whole time, but my Mum later said that he had been outraged that “A beautiful young Signorina” just as me had been insulted like that.
All in all, it didn’t take very long until the young waiter vanished back in the kitchen and the elder waiter turned towards me, basically bowed to me and apologized over and over again. “I’m so sorry, Signorina, that you had to hear that! Please accept my sincere apology…!”
“No, please,” I managed, not knowing if I should be embarrassed or amused by the sight of him being so dramatic. “This happens a lot to me, please, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Ah, Signorina, such a gentle soul you are!”
At that point, I laughed out loud because he beamed at me with such a delight, it was just funny how passionate he was about all that.
Since then, the dear waiter always insisted on being the one who catered to us whenever we come to this restaurant. I didn’t complain at all, and also my mum and our friend were quite amused by that. The elderly man would take my jacket off, pull my chair back for me and give me a kiss on the hand once we left again, insisting that I had to be treated like “the gentle and nice Singorina” I am.
Honestly, such behavior is strange to me, since I didn’t really grow up with gentlemen, but I let him have his fun, since he always pouted when I wouldn’t let him tend to me. It was his way of showing me his respect, and if that was what he wanted, I would let him.
Today, we went there for lunch, but I wasn’t really looking forward to it. I was still deep in thought about school and that dumb group project, and the only reason I did leave the house at all was because my Mum basically pleaded me to do so.
So I was kind of staring into the air instead of making conversation, and didn’t even realize that I had taken off my jacket alone before the waiter could help me.
Once my mum left to go to the toilet and our friend went back to his car because he had forgotten his wallet there, I was startled by the waiter appearing next to me, putting down a little plate with chocolates on the table next to me.
I blinked, frowning. “Excuse me, but we didn’t order that.”
“Ah, but Signorina,” he winked at me, smiled crookedly. “That’s a little present on the house.”
I managed a little smile, thanking him.
He hummed, refilling my glass and explaining. “I missed your smile today, Signorina.”
“I’m sorry. I’m a bit… lost in thought, I guess.”
“We can’t have that, no, no.”
I shot him a glance, guessing that he was already planning something again, but he just took my order with a wide smile and disappeared in the kitchen again.
Let’s just say that he exceeded himself that day.
The pizza I ordered was not round as usual – somehow, he had managed to convince the chef to make it heart-shaped this time. In between bits of conversation, he would appear at our table, refill the little plate with chocolates again and again, shooting me a grin every time. And when I followed my Mum out of the restaurant, he waited already at the door, surprising me with a bowl full of chocolate mousse – “on the house”, he explained with a wink.
Etiquette or whatever be damned – I straight out hugged him then and there. And based on his delighted laughter and him cheering “There is your smile, Signorina!” I don’t think he really minded.
Honestly, bless this angel of a person, please. Bless him and all his descendants.
This has restored my faith in humanity today.
art imitates life, life imitates art
gluttony vs lust
The face of a man that knew exactly what he was doing.
OMG lol going to end the world
what the fuck i remember seeing this shit on iFunny
By @BarbroFarbror Twitter
being a DM in dnd like
@helpicantthinkofaurl
I apologize for lashing out. One of my players threw themselves in acid after they were fully aware it was in fact acid. I did not and still do not know how to deal with that.
In the very first D&D game that I ever played, our party was standing right outside the entrance to a dungeon. Part of the area was covered in a red energy field. Inside the red energy field, all of the grass was dead, and right on the border between the area inside the energy field and outside of it, there was a collection of dead animals, insects, and other forest creatures. As we watched, a little bunny came hopping up, hopped into the red energy field, and, the moment that it entered the field, instantly dropped dead.
Guess what one of our players decided to do next. Take a wild fuckin guess.
me: wow! i have so many art ideas! i cant wait to start drawing!
me 3 seconds after opening The Art Program: