TumbleGee

Let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends, the cuttlefish.

[michellepsychologist]

😻amazing, pt.1

[winterstar95-deactivated2023110]

Always need good news stories

[growing-up-gay]

Just some positivity, because we could all use some more of this in our lives.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Spiders are the only web developers that enjoy finding bugs

[pr1nceshawn]

[cheshirecodeless]

…But why do you need an object to go to the bathroom? Does it unlock the magic bathroom door?

[jumpingjacktrash]

a hall pass is a thing you can show to school staff to prove you’re wandering the halls with your teacher’s permission, not skipping class. once upon a time it was a piece of paper, but people kept losing those, so around the time i was in high school, teachers started taping the school-issued cardstock hall pass to things like blocks of wood, plastic flowers, and plush toys, to make them harder to lose.

apparently it wasn’t enough.

[bushy-haired-know-it-all]

Also people would steal them so they could have a get out of jail free card if they got caught skipping class.

It’s a little bit easier to find a stolen giant pencil than it is to find a stolen hall pass

[daemonmatthias]

This is eaxctly why hall passes have gotten so extreme.

[helloitsbees]

this is fucking surreal and only adds more weight to my theory that the american public school system is (barely) held together by a dark and arcane magic

[cherie-creme-deactivated2020012]

Also a fact

[harrypotterfandomunite]

We shall name it Dobby’s day

[writing-prompt-s]

A knight in shining armor outsmarts the dragon and climbs to the highest tower, only the princess locked away at the top of the tower is… a lesbian.

[hraap-deactivated20180821]

“Oh thank god,” Thomas says, laying his helmet down. “Because I kept thinking on the climb up here that this was going to be a really awkward first meeting, and its stupid to expect you to fall in love with me just because I saved you.”

Lucinda gives him a surprised look. “You’re rather weird. Usually I get guys that demand I fall in love with them because they ‘saved’ me. Which by the way, you didn’t actually do.” She jabs a thumb towards the direction of the dragon. “She’s trained. I tell her to keep assholes away from me, but if I tell her to let you in, she won’t do anything to you.”

“Oh.” Well now he feels a bit better. “But um, the whole lesbian thing? I uh… god this is going to sound weird, but would you consider dating my sister if I brought her to you?”

Lucinda blinks, opens her mouth, and then shuts it. She finally settles on, “Is your sister cute?”

“Um, I don’t know? I mean to me she is, because she’s my sister. But um.”

“Describe her.”

“Red hair, freckles, five foot… two, I think? Likes to make dresses and pretty headdresses out of flowers, her favorite activity is scrapbooking. She’s nineteen and looking for a nice girl to settle down with.”

Lucinda admits, she sounds tempting. “Fine, I’ll meet her. But why are you acting as the go-between for your sister’s love life, exactly?”

Thomas grimaces. “Dad wants to marry her off, and she’s… kind of a lesbian too. Except dad thinks if he throws her at the right dick, she’ll suddenly want that, so… yeah.”

Lucinda cackles.  “Oh my god, you climbed a tower to wingman for your sister?”

“Um, yes?”

She stands, brushes her dress off. “I like you. Show me this cute little sister of yours. We’ll take the dragon - let’s see what that old man of yours thinks when a stolen princess shows up riding a dragon wanting to marry his daughter.”

“I think he’ll have a heart attack.”

“Even better. Now let’s move. Pudding, come!”

“You named your dragon Pudding?”

[nezclaw]

“He named himself Pudding.”

[priestessamy]

You have done a good thing

[life-love-music2019]

This is beautiful

[hipster]

Even when I spend the whole day with you, I miss you the second you leave.

[daily-showerthoughts]

The first wipe is always just to assess the damage.

[darkmatters-world]

[nahimoffthis-deactivated2018091]

Maneuvers

[daguruchizz-deactivated20200224]

yooooooooo

[brucebanners-deactivated2019042]

Logan: A Family Film

[extramadness]

[jiilys]

can i be

A/N: @alrightpotter love you. mean it. 

James Potter to Sirius Black: lowkey failing english

James Potter: and by low key i mean absolutely fucking bombing  

Sirius Black: drop out

James Potter: that’s ur answer for everything

James Potter: u said that the time they ran out of pizza in the caf

Sirius Black: i meant it then and i mean it now

Peter Pettigrew to three decent people and sirius: how’d the tutoring go

James Potter: we got distracted

Remus Lupin: fucking told u they were amphibians

James Potter: i already gave u the fiver shut up

Remus Lupin renamed the group Remus Lupin: Frog Master

James Potter: its to easy if u drag urself

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: why have u called me 18 times

Sirius Black: there was a slight fire

Remus Lupin: fuck where????????????

Sirius Black: nowhere important no one even plays lacrosse

James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: went to the tutoring office like u said and now have the prettiest girl in the universe teaching me shakespeare

Peter Pettigrew: ur tutor is not meg ryan

James Potter: what?????? its lily evans from trig why would it be meg ryan

Peter Pettigrew: shes the prettiest girl in the universe

James Potter: i

James Potter: where do i even begin

Remus Lupin to live laugh suffer: ready??

Remus Lupin: sirius if u say u were born ready im not doing this prank

Sirius Black: i was conceived ready

Remus Lupin: i should be mad but im just proud u spelt conceived right

James Potter to Remus Lupin: shes so smart and funny and pretty and literally loves shakespere so much shes so lame her whole face lights up when she talks abt him its the best

Remus Lupin: its 4 in the morning

James Potter: she does this thing where she explains everything and it makes sense like !!!! how

Peter Pettigrew to why didnt the lizzie mcguire movie win an oscar: we’re watching the bee movie in bio rn

Sirius Black: i kno

Peter Pettigrew: ???? u dont take bio

Sirius Black: im in the window chem got boring

Peter Pettigrew to sirius do ur stats hmw: saw this great documentary last night

James Potter: seen

Peter Pettigrew: u don’t just say ‘seen’ when u want to seen someone u just seen them

James Potter: ohhh thats why lily laughed at me

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: hes been talkin abt lilys knees for 20 minutes im going to slam my head in a window

Sirius Black: hes moved onto her laugh

Sirius Black: shit hes lame

Sirius Black: he likes her so much poor bastard

Sirius Black: hes talkin abt how nice her room is could u mercy kill me

Sirius Black: wat would it be like if u were like a decent person……… and like……. responded

Remus Lupin: I imagine it would be like this.

Sirius Black: asswipe

Peter Pettigrew to james blunt fan club: I fucking hate all of u so fucking much why would u DO THIS

James Potter: i take it u got out package

Peter Pettigrew: IM FUCKING ALLERGIC TO ORANGES

Remus Lupin: yes thats why we sent u 178 of them. one for each time u mention ur damn allergy when one of us buys orange juice

Peter Pettigrew: ur all shit mates

Peter Pettigrew: imma start an orchard and I wont share ANY OF THE MONEY WITH U SHITDICKS

James Potter to peter misunderstands the concept of an orchard: love isnt real

James Potter: nvm she replied

Sirius Black to Remus Lupin: but if i got fanmail would I sign it off ‘sirius black’ or just ‘sirius’

Sirius Black: which is cooler

Remus Lupin: id block u if i knew how

Peter Pettigrew to no grammar zone: james is ditching us for evans tonite whos still in

Sirius Black: potter u fuckin traitor

Remus Lupin: best mates since we were eleven and now ditching us for a GIRL

James Potter: actually im ditching u for the girl

Sirius Black to mention exams one more time lupin I swear: chem is a fucking accident

James Potter: the 1 thing u have in common

Sirius Black: shit that was nice bro fuck that was a good one

James Potter: thanks bro

Sirius Black: algd bro

Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: my understanding of the james + lily relationship is that she verbally murders him every time hes an ass and he thanks her for it

Peter Pettigrew: tru

Peter Pettigrew: also a lot of staring while the other isnt looking

Remus Lupin: if they dont get together soon im going to swallow a knife its painful to watch

Sirius Black to James Potter: not be political but i dont know why people keep bread in the fridge

James Potter: that??? wasnt political

Sirius Black: i know i told u it wouldnt be

James Potter: shit u did

Peter Pettigrew to I’m GOING TO SHOVE MY HISTORY BOOK THROUGH MY ENITRE EYEBALL: lupin backwards is ‘nipul’ which sounds like nipple if u say it aloud

James Potter: quality 3am chat

Remus Lupin to lupins netflix password is chocolate101: sirius how did u get my passwords

Sirius Black: u were hacked

Remus Lupin: yes. by you.

Sirius Black: lets not get bogged down in the details

James Potter to where is our disney channel original movie: guess who fucking got top marks in english

James Potter: THIS ASSHOLE

Sirius Black: bc of lily ??

James Potter: obsly bc of lily she is excellent and i was a mess before her

Sirius Black: ur a mess now

James Potter: tru but now im a mess who knows who othello is

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: james is with lily and peter is with his parents what do u want to do tonight

Sirius Black: swim in the schools water tower

Remus Lupin: im in meet in 20

Sirius Black: we’ve corrupted u

Remus Lupin: im aware

Remus Lupin: i also don’t mind

Peter Pettigrew to exams are done and so are we: HM PRONGS I SAW U AND EVANS TODAY HUH LOOKIN V COSY HUH

Remus Lupin: elaborate

Peter Pettigrew: THEY WERE MAKING OUT IN MINNIES IN THE FAR BOOTH

Sirius Black: thank fucking god was their tongue

Peter Pettigrew: LOOKED LIKE IT

James Potter: ur all psychotic

Sirius Black: how dare u the amount of times u have mentioned her nice elbows this past month is criminal

James Potter: they r super nice tho

Sirius Black renamed the group who fucking cares

[mjalti]

why come they called him “beast” in the castle when everyone knew his name cuz they’d been working for him forever anyway? like …. i would just be like “hey chewbacca-Adam” or some shit, there’s no reason to call him beast … id hide in my room all day too if my employees started making fun of me..

[meangirlnurse]

i can’t stop laughing at this

[sherlockisntgay]

Very heartwarming moment really reflecting on Wally’s character. 

[vividvega]

[vividvega]

Vivid Vega’s Best Selling Poetry Book, “Words That Kill” is available for $5 today only on Amazon: Click Here

[incorrectzodiacquotes]

Help me please I've made it a habit to say "classic gemini" to my gemini friends whenever they mention they're bored or get bored easily. It started with just them but now it's starting with other ppl who do things typical of their sun signs now I can't stop I just get this unspeakable urge to say it help me please -astro nerd pisces

classic Pisces

[tastefullyoffensive]

Life and Donuts by Pablo Stanley

[actualbloggerwangyao-deactivate]

I need to say this is one of the most uplifting things I’ve seen.

[eviemay]

well that’s my existential crisis sorted out

seriously though its nice to have that kind of comfort written out like that

[opalescent-potato]

Optimistic nihilism. Sounds good.