wow fantastic @flynocerous - Tumblr Blog

My sisters are best friends

And they dont really like me

I feel like a big big man

idiots on Facebook - you weren't a scene kid because you listened to Asking Alexandria, that shits crabcore and y'all are fuckin posers, probably never been to a show i got my fuckin eye on you bitch

Delusions of Grandeur

I love this joke... "when the power was out for a few hours"

And understand jokes

I wish dogs could laugh

A man once said to me "Hey man, I just pulled a really big string for you, please don't screw me over"

And I proceeded to promptly and immediately screw him over by wasting multiple people's time and company funds.

Why can't i eat

My future kid, going through my music

Kid: Ghost with a Boner by Diarrhea Planet?

Click

I'm sad because I think I'm smart but ads probably work on me

"It ain't that good a show if you aren't a little scared to be there"

I feel really really good when I complete a thought outloud without tripping on myself

I hate when I'm really excited about a band

And my friends and family hate it lol

When I started at Toyota

To try and break the ice and maybe have a funny conversation

Me: Hey Jake, what would your Spice Girl name be?

Jake: ...

Me: like if you were in the Spice Girls

Jake: I'm not answering that

Me: come on man, its funny. Mines "Suga 'N Spice"

Jake: yeah cool man

Yeah, that kind of set up my reputation on the line. MACHISMO ONLY WE'RE BUILDING CARS BITCH

"Sir, we found a song on his computer

Called 'Ghost with a Boner' by Diarrhea Planet?"

"Dammit Johnson, we're looking for bangers not this shit"

Okay, last time

This is your brain, this is your brain on drugs. Any questions?

>yes do you have any

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