달빛을 몸에 받다

그는 달을 가리키고 있었지만 나는 그의 손을 보고 있었다.

[fmdshieon]

𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐉𝐈𝐍,

*✶｡ imessage  ✉️ shieon.

⤷ i wouldn’t say that i’m freakin’ out ⤷ just nervous, like butterflies  ⤷ i’m just trying to anticipate the negative comments i’ll get lol

╰  배시언  〉박우진 — okay, but what about this: ╰  배시언  〉박우진 — you won’t get a ton of bad comments. ╰  배시언  〉박우진 — like, are you aware of your fanbase ??? ╰  배시언  〉박우진 — they’d deadass murder people for you. ╰  배시언  〉박우진 — that, and you’re a great performer, yk ? ╰  배시언  〉박우진 — THAT, and you’re gorgeous ??? like ??? ╰  배시언  〉박우진 — no one’s gonna come for you... trust me. 😂

[fmdshieon]

𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐉𝐈𝐍,

*✶｡ imessage  ✉️ all contacts.

⤷ is it weird that i still get kinda nervous before performances lol ⤷ like i’m super nervous for this gayo thing tomorrow even though i’ve been doing this     shit for years. 

╰  배시언  〉박우진 — i’ve been told that, like... ╰  배시언  〉박우진 — it’s weird for us NOT to be nervous. ╰  배시언  〉박우진 — what’s freakin’ you out this time though ?

[fmdshieon]

𝐘𝐔𝐋,

a quiet groan escaped yul’s lips as he felt himself coming back to reality from a deep sleep. he had been dreaming, figuring that the shaking he was experiencing was most likely a part of it, but he was quickly beginning to realise that it very much wasn’t a dream and that someone really was shaking him. opening his eyes slightly, confusion and very clear annoyance was written all over his face as he turned to look at whoever the culprit was. “what the fuck…” he muttered out, barely just realising that the person in front of him was shieon. he had thanked the lords above for giving him time slots at decent hours, meaning he could get a full night’s sleep, but apparently, that was not the case. “ask someone else, i want to sleep,” he protested, pulling the blanket over his head in an attempt to block out the intrusion.

however, it seemed that he wasn’t going to be able to get away from it as easily as he thought. eventually, he conceded, sitting up and rubbing at his face ever so slightly to try and wake himself up. “breakfast?” came yul’s response with a sigh as he pressed his phone’s home button with a sigh before getting out of bed. “it’s not even 4am, why are you making breakfast now?” giving his hair a ruffle, he stretched his arms out above him before padding his way out to the kitchen, not bothering to change out of his pyjamas - he was planning on going straight back to bed as quickly as possible, anyway. “what are you gonna make?”

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅 that this was dimensions entertainment’s way of punishing him for never seeming pleasant during their meetings with him, or hell, even on-stage during performances. every one of the other individuals in unity beamed with energy in some fashion, but shieon had become someone who was known for seeming disinterested, or tired, of all around him. naturally, he wasn’t that skilled of a dancer, nor did possess many lines in a lot of their recent titles, so he was often in the back—only recorded for fan-cams due to his visuals ( primarily for his body ) more than anything else. comments often claimed that he looked bored, or that he looked tired, and truth was, he happened to be a really obnoxious combination of the two emotions that he was associated with now. it was hard to have passion for a craft that has sucked the life out of him, and truly, he’d take all of his dreams back if he could. however, on the other side of the coin, he didn’t want to make his mother, and his brothers, disappointed in him for giving up ; quitting wasn’t an option either. so, here he waited for contract renewals to arrive, and the second they did, he knew that he was more than likely going to choose to terminate, and move forward with his life. he knew that’d come with lots of frowning faces from those who’ve supported him, and maybe some of his group-mates would be sad at his departure, too, but at this point, he wanted to do what was necessary to protect his mental, and physical, health.

staying up basically all night was definitely something he didn’t want to do ever again, but it wasn’t really up to him when he got to rest, and when he didn’t. so, here he was—hovering over yul, and near about begging him to get out of bed to assist him with his portion of filming, and when the blond finally agreed, a wave of relief washed over him. “ ah, thank you... i really owe you one. ” biting down on his bottom lip, he took a few paces back and allowed his cohort some space. “ look, i didn’t know what else to do. don’t mock me for wanting to just make some food, and fuck around, for awhile. you know what time it is... i don’t think your creative juices would be flowing right now, either. ” he quipped, running a hand over his face. “ i don’t know... what about, like, haejang-guk ? that might take too long though... how about just some basic breakfast toast with eggs ? that’d probably be easiest... ” he was too tired to even put together thoughts properly, so he knew whatever nonsense they got involved in would be a mess, but who knows ? maybe their audience would love that ?

[fmdminsun-deactivated20200715]

hi, spring

[fmdshieon]

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍,

even though they know that shieon tries sometimes to make the most of bad situations, it’s difficult to not feel their friend’s usual fatalistic outlook taking over as he listens to them and take in minsun’s blunt desperation at the way things are going.

it’s never been in minsun’s nature to take things like this out on people, because they know how difficult everyone’s life is, in this line of work, and they’d never want to put more weight on their shoulders than they can handle. it’s a fine line they’ve had to walk for a long while, as a member of charm, where so many things remain unsaid and yet they manage to weigh their dynamic down the most. minsun has had to unlearn the instinct to call them family, because it’s been a long time since they’ve truly felt any of that comfort, even though they haven’t given up on loving their members as much as they’ll be allowed to. but they know they can’t ever really go to the members with this kind of thing, except for maybe one of them, and he’s got enough on his plate as is. 

so it’s reassuring to know that they can talk to shieon, freely and without having to worry about being judged, or treated like an ungrateful brat, or told to just shut up and roll with the punches. shieon always listens, and he always has a comforting and helpful thing to say. to hear his sympathetic words and his reassuring tone makes minsun’s heart a little warmer.

“it’s not fair that they treat you like that.” they say, matter-of-factly, when shieon talks about his own woes within his group. the way that things seem to be going, minsun can understand the growing frustration in shieon’s words, and as they consider their own position in their own group, they try to find the words. “all of you are in the group for a good reason. all of you should get to showcase that!” minsun feels a ball of anger getting stuck in their throat and they hate the feeling, but they hate this blatant injustice just a little bit more. “i know- i know it’s not that easy, but i hope you’ll be able to tell them you’re not happy with it.” 

they toy with crumbs on the side of the plate as they speak, trying to calm themself down, but it’s hardly working. even though they were looking forward to this being a pleasant afternoon with their best friend, minsun is having a harder time suppressing their frustration than they thought they would. all this time, they’ve kept quiet, made sure that everything went as smoothly as it could, but they’re at the end of their tether and it’s becoming impossible to not want to let it go.

“ah, gosh, i don’t know what i’m saying… but i hope things get resolved soon.” they take a sip of their tea before it gets cold. “you deserve it.”

truth be told, even if it felt cathartic to let themself go for a second there, minsun appreciates shieon trying to streer the conversation to a more cheerful place. he’s right to say that the two of them can talk about anything, and minsun will always appreciate this unwavering trust. but that also means trusting shieon with the good things, and they’re more than happy to do that.

“ah… well, mostly, i’m excited about the concerts,” minsun has always loved that part the most, losing themself in the light and the music and the love, as fickle as it may be. “it’s going to be…liberating, i think. and then,” then there’s aleady a new album to worry about, and so much is going through minsun’s head that they’re not sure if unloading it all right now is the right move. “then we’ll see. i’m trying to not look too far ahead. i want to enjoy the good things while they’re here.”

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐔𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐒 all day long, but he knew that, in most circumstances, no one really wanted to have those negative conversations. it drove him a little crazy because, if he, or anyone else, didn’t speak up about what was on their mind, they would all be much sadder people. bottling up emotions—especially those that are not always fun to explore—only creates more chaos, so if he could be an outlet for minsun, he happily would. he knew that, most of the time, it was hard to discuss uncomfortable topics with certain people—especially group members—so he’s happy that he could be almost like a diary of sorts. however, instead of sitting idly and allowing the other to vent without a response, he’s always been the type of guy who offers guidance, and advice, to those in need ; even when it’s not called for sometimes. luckily, though, his cohort never seemed to mind when he would try to find solutions to all of their problems. he was thankful for that. “ yeah, i know, but a lot of the time, we don’t really get to choose our own parts ; as you know, that’s up to the producers. i should feel lucky that i’ve been able to shine a few different times in the past. ” he added, his thoughts returning to when he recorded BOSS with his members, and how he was given the bulk of lines due to his vocal style. since then, he hasn’t really been given a spotlight in most of the title tracks—unless leading a group chorus counts. he didn’t want to seem ungrateful, no, but the same song layout was beginning to get old for him... and he had no idea how his group-mates felt about the same topic.

“ i mean, we’re all talented in our own regard—that’s why we’re in this group together, y’know ? i just feel like dimensions’ pushes a few members, and leaves some of us behind. maybe we’ll have our moments sometime soon, but being in the waiting room is exhausting. ” noticing that minsun’s attitude had shifted into something more negative, shieon decided to try and change the subject. sure, discussing more serious matters was important, but at the end of the day, the pair of them were out to get away from the stress of work. like usual, the table in front of them was filled with their favorite dessert, and the love that was there wasn’t going to be dulled by the woes of idol-hood. “ i think that’s a good plan—wouldn’t want you to live too far in the future. making plans, and having dreams, is cool, yeah, but taking yourself out of what’s goin’ on now isn’t good, y’know ? i’m sure that, even if you’re not in love with your next comeback, it’ll do well, and you’ll have a fun time performing it. who knows ? maybe that’ll help you learn to like it a little more ? ” sure, he had a knack for being a bit of a pessimist about everything, but when the moment’s right, he could share optimism, too. it just didn’t happen quite as often. “ i think it’ll be good for you to not really like your new comeback. i mean, we’re all bound to hate some of the music we release, right ? instead of feeling so down about it, maybe try to find it funny ? i don’t know if that makes sense, but y’know. ”

reaching over, the main vocalist lifted up his cup of tea and took a sip ; its flavor alighting his tastebuds and causing him to hum. “ wanna know what i think would be kinda cool ? ” he queried, sitting up a bit in his chair. “ if we collaborated on a track together ! that way we’d both get to shine, and our voices would totally complement one another’s, i think ! ”

[hyunjins]

[fmdshieon]

𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐘-𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐔𝐏, *  3:39 AM KST  /  RELAY. *  FEAT. 한율 OF UNITY.

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑, bce smacks him in the face with yet another contractual obligation—one that he abhorred more than just about everything in the world right now. his alarm rings at around three-thirty in the a.m., and he’s up at an ungodly hour only to be handed a camera almost immediately after. why on earth any person would want to interact with him at four in the morning is beyond him, but here he was : rolling around in bed, and groaning as the snooze on his phone wears off and the alarm rings again. placing his feet on the cold floor of his dorm room, he stood tall and stretched ; performing a few yoga poses in hopes that it’ll not only warm up, but loosen, his muscles, and bones, enough to make him feel awake. being that he wasn’t necessarily a huge fan of coffee, he wandered into the kitchen only to lazily pour himself a glass of water—drinking it, then pouring another ; the hydration feeding the parched cells in his body, and giving him the tiniest shred of energy. looking over to the clock on the wall, he found that it was nearly time for him to be presentable, so he wandered back into his room, threw on some of his more ‘ glamorous ’ loungewear, and waited for his moment to entertain. he had no idea what he was going to do, so as he sat in the quiet, he pondered on a few ideas, but none of them seemed strong enough.

how was he going to fill two hours of filming time when he couldn’t even think of basic ideas ?

deciding to force one of his group-mates awake to assist with ideas, he ran through all of them in his head to see who’d be a more ‘ bright ’ personality to counteract his more gloomy one. the instant he thought of the idea of having a ‘ morning person ’ paired with a ‘ night owl ’ as they make breakfast, he quickly thought of none other than his group’s main dancer: yul. so, as ting finished up his broadcast, the main vocalist wandered into yul’s room and began to shake him awake—not at all respecting the fact that he had time to rest. “ hey, get up ! ” he replied, his voice not at all as quiet as it should be. “ c’mon—i need your help with filming. put some clothes on, and fix your hair, and meet me in the kitchen—we’re gonna make breakfast. ” it seemed simple, but he knew that both of them trying to piece together a meal at this hour wasn’t going to be easy. he wouldn’t at all blame the danseur if he was pissed off, but shieon wasn’t at all prepared to suffer alone. 

“ yul-ah, c’mon... get up, please ? ”

[fmdminsun-deactivated20200715]

hi, spring

[fmdshieon]

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍,

minsun chews on their bite of cake and even though they’re feeling bad about their resistance to charm’s new sound, the sweetness seems to make things a bit better, as shieon had promised. it’s something minsun always appreciates about him, how he always seems to be able to take uneasy situations and turn them on their head so they’re at least easy to get through. he’s the free thinking pendant to minsun’s endless worry, and minsun isn’t sure they would have been able to survive as long as they have in this world without their friendship blossoming into what it is today.

they know shieon is offering a logical solution. after all, minsun has only heard the guide version, and the rough cut of what charm has recorded so far - vocal tracks that don’t sound like much when they’re not mixed together, a haphazard collection of sound and colors that nothing seems to be able to stick together. that’s probably what worries them the most. shieon probably senses how tense they are, because minsun feels their effort to keep them warm, to keep them assured that he’s here for support.

“that’s what i keep hoping for,’ minsun mindlessly digs the points of their fork in the crumbs on the plate. “but for now everything sounds so wrong, when all of us were in the booth we were so strained by the end of it, it’s like,” they’d never want to doubt their bandmates’ abilities, but minsun can’t ignore what they’d seen and heard and the ache in their chest. “whoever gave us that song is more focused on pushing us beyond our last limits than actually showcasing what we can do. and it doesn’t make for good music.” 

the pressure had always been part of the job but that’s a point that even minsun thinks they can just grin and bear. in those last few years they’ve accepted a lot of things, maybe they’re allowed some rebellion from time to time.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐋 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐘, and now that shieon has experienced it—and has lived it—for quite sometime now, he’s not as impressed as he thought he’d be. truth be told, many of those he knew weren’t happy with how their lives as entertainers turned out, and though he knew that many of them simply wanted to perform for a living, the high experienced on-stage seemed to pale in comparison to the other hardships, and irregularities, that they faced on a day-to-day basis. due to all of his travels, the vocalist had to get used to sleeping on airplanes, on buses, and in vans, since more often than not, they didn’t book tons of hotel rooms for them to rest. additionally, his eating habits had to revolve around how busy he was, and most of the time, he would often forget to eat, or he simply didn’t have the time to. in essence, he wasn’t necessarily living a ‘ healthy ’ existence, but that wasn’t at all his fault. it was beginning to tear away at his mental state little-by-little, and he had a feeling it would cause him to take a hiatus from the group, or to resign from dimensions entirely, but those decisions were a bit too heavy for him to act impulsively on. he also hasn’t really shared them with anyone else, but he knew that, if he told minsun, that they’d understand. 

they always did. that’s one thing that he valued so much about their friendship.

“ i totally know how that feels, and i’m sorry that you’re having to go through that right now. ” he replied, shaking his head back and forth. “ it’s hard to really love your craft whenever you’re not personally connecting with the music you’re given, and most of the time, we all just have to shut up and sing the songs anyway. that’s what i hate, to be honest. ” placing his fork down on the table for a moment, he sat back in his chair ; searching for added back support. “ like, for example, our music is so heavily rap-focused that, most of the time, us vocalists really don’t get a lot of time to show our vocal chops, you know ? lately i’ve felt like i’m only really around to do some ad-libs, and to add a high harmony to the lower singers’ lines. ” usually he wouldn’t whine too much about line distributions, but it had become a frustrating trend for unity’s music to only really feature the rap-line. while he knows that jaewon, silas, and yul were deserving of their parts, it was frustrating whenever he was seemingly ignored time, and time, again. “ i don’t know why i’m bitching so much about that, though. i’m sure it’s even more difficult for you since your group has thirteen members. i can’t even begin to understand how producers divvy up those parts... talk about a headache. ”

a small laugh fell from between his large lips, followed by a sigh. “ woe is me, and woe is you, it seems. ” shieon was known to have a more pessimistic, and negative, point of view, and he hoped that he wasn’t at all rubbing it off on minsun. that’s the last thing he wanted. “ for now, though, i think we should just enjoy one another’s company, and if we feel like venting more, we definitely can. i’ll be your diary, and you can be mine. that’s our policy, isn’t it ? ” he added, moving his chair so that he wasn’t necessarily sitting across from minsun, but more beside them now ; their knees brushing together with the closeness. “ what are some GOOD things that have been going on in your life, hmm ? any potential love interests ? any new solo jobs ? fill me in ! ”

[fmdshieon]

𝐉𝐈𝐇𝐀𝐄,

Jihae shuffled over, automatically making space for Shieon to make himself comfortable. Looking back, he had made considerable progress with sharing his space with others. Dorm life sort of forced that, of course, but it also felt like a testament to how close he and Shieon had become. It was a nice thing to think about. For a while he was content just listening quietly, allowing the other to pull him closer. 

“First off, you might want to invest in warmer clothing, then,” Jihae teased, wrapping an arm around the other in spite of his words. Shieon was comfortably small against his taller form and even though he felt distinctively like himself it also quelled his sense of homesickness for Yuanjun a little. Less of a replacement, more of a reminder that just because he didn’t feel romantically for his group mates didn’t mean their hugs couldn’t feel like home too.

“It’s just really easy to overthink. I’ve never acted before. Hell, I don’t even know if I’m a decent actor to begin with, you know?” He sighed and squished his cheek against the top of Shieon’s head. “I feel like sometimes I spend so much time around Yul that I forget that proximity won’t make his confidence just rub off on me.” Others might call Jihae’s best friend arrogant but if you asked him, a lot of his confidence was well-founded in skill. Skill Jihae wasn’t sure he had in this context to feel like he could, as Shieon had put it, grab the musical by its horns and make it his bitch.

“Wow, thanks, dude. You know what’d be a great asshole move to nail that statement home?” An impish grin spread across Jihae’s face, wide like the Cheshire Cat’s and equally sharp as he unwound his arm from around his friend’s waist and launched a tickle attack instead. It wasn’t particularly nice, not when Shieon was humouring his self-deprecating hours and comforting him like a proper friend but it felt nice to let go of the tension of the moment for a little while, to be 21 and silly.

“I don’t know. Actually, I don’t even think I know everything that could go wrong. Like, I don’t know enough about theatre, I did basic research and got sick of reading and looked up as much as I could about Grease and stuff but… honestly, it feels like I’m staring into a black hole of misfortune. I’d like to walk out of there knowing I didn’t just flush my dignity down the drain, you know?”

𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐘 𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌, so he was happy to know that jihae didn’t mind their newfound closeness ; their bodies curling together in search of warmth, stability, and brotherhood. during this hectic touring season, it was easy to forget that there was a homebase that existed somewhere — whether it be in korea, switzerland, or elsewhere. lately, it seemed like the road had become their safe haven, but even then, the tides were always changing. each new city they visited had its own set of beauties, as well as its own set of heavy downsides. the constant changes had forced the vocalist to obliterate his own form of an adjustment disorder, so for that he was thankful, but that didn’t mean the traveling was as easy as it looked. many of his adoring fans aspired to be like him : to jet-set around the world, to always wake up in a new area, and to live a life of supposed ‘ freedom, ’ but he knew that if they knew the amount of work, and energy, it took, that they’d wish for easier, more mundane existences. in all honesty, that’s what he longed for every single day. sure, it was easy to dream big when he was younger, but now that he’s matured more, he regrets that he took his life as an ordinary citizen for granted. if only he were wiser then, he’d have taken full advantage of his day-to-day activities, of his everlasting freedom. 

having been an idol for the last three years, he often wonders what he’d have done if he’d never had the chance to début. would he be working at a convenience store ? would he be attending a university to earn a degree ? those thoughts cloud up his mind all of the time, but he knows that dwelling on them only hurts his heart more. so, for now, he’s decided to put his personal wonderings aside, and focus on his comrade. after all, jihae was the one who needed support right now, so he shouldn’t be twisting the situation around to be about himself, or his own issues — that wouldn’t be fair. so, he listened closely, and chuckled at the light humor that laced its way in between the other’s syllables ; nodding his head every so often to show that he totally understood how his friend was feeling. “ i know, i know... trust me — i’ve totally been there. ” he agreed, pulling his cohort’s frame even closer. “ i’ll tell you, though, that all those thoughts go away the instant you step on-stage. like, it’s the anticipation that causes the anxiety, and the nervousness, but when you’re actually, like, forced to enter the stage, and like, find your light, and start your lines, or your song, it all fades away. ”

when yul was mentioned, the raven-haired crooner couldn’t help but roll his eyes ; laughing at the thought of his cocky companion. “ yul is his own type of monster, though. i admire that he’s so brave, and that he never fails to put himself out there, but please know that he’s not exactly normal. i mean, do you know anyone else that has that level of insane confidence ? ” he asked, not even waiting for a response. “ that’s what i thought. ” however, before he was able to fully take in jihae’s latest comment, he felt the sensation of the other’s fingertips, and palms, tickle away at his pale flesh — immediately arousing laughter from him due to his sensivity to touch. “ ah, jihae-yah ! ” he hollered, kicking away at him, and doing his best to create distance. when it ceased, though, he worked to catch his breath ; rolling onto his back. “ yeah, you’re right — you ARE an asshole. you know how ticklish i am, you dick. ” he swore, using one of his hands to gently nudge at him.

“ look, i don’t think you’ll regret it, or wash your dignity down the drown. it’s a new start for you, and it’s gonna feel heavy on your heart. just know that, at the end of the day, if you don’t really believe in yourself, you got all of us to believe in you for you, you know ? life won’t end if the musical flops, but trust me — i don’t think it will. i’m pretty sure your voice is the favorite among all of our fans. they’re gonna go apeshit the second you walk on stage, and that’ll fill you with a lot more confidence. hell, you might even transform into yul. YOU NEVER KNOW. ”

[hyunjins]

[fmdshieon]

𝐉𝐎𝐎𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐆,

joohyung was quick to shake his head at shieon’s insecurity, sitting up with him despite the aches in his muscles telling him to lay down. “no, you aren’t needy,” he assured hurriedly, placing a gentle hand on shieon’s back to support him. “i just… wasn’t sure what you were expecting, i guess. but we can cuddle, if that’s what you want.” 

keep reading !

𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃, and though this was only his first go-around with carnal desires, he had a feeling he’d want to keep returning for more. it was a much-needed form of stress relief, as he’d discovered, so in order to keep his mental health intact, he knew that relying on physical means of pleasure would be a great outlet for pent up aggression, and so forth. little did his partner know, though, that an amorous beast had been awakened within him, and now, he was more than likely going to shower charm’s dancer with endless confessions of wanton lust. hopefully he wouldn’t mind too much. as his back was embraced by the strength of joohyung’s palm, the main vocalist cooed ; licking over his large lips with his tongue — his breathing patterns slow, steady, and deep. “ if you’re okay with it, that’s definitely what i want... however, if you absolutely need to turn me away, i’ll understand. ” he reasoned, shrugging his shoulders. “ i’ll be annoyed as fuck, but i’ll understand. ”

as the pair of them lied there, and he felt gentle kisses press to the sharpness of his jawline, shieon breathed heavy — his heartbeat picking up its pace again at the contact. “ mmm, that’s nice, hyung... ” the younger purred, biting down on his lesser lip. “ really, tonight’s been one of magic. i guess i didn’t expect for things to feel so good, but i’m so glad that they did... you made quite the impression on me, hah. you performed really well. ” hopefully the compliments — which were honest — helped lessen the blow for the other, but he knew that, no matter what his reaction, this night was still going to be one of the most special experiences for him. so, when he was beckoned to confess, he sighed deeply and decided to be brave ; decided to come clean. “ i’m just going to rip the bandaid off now and say it, and i apologize if it seems as though i wasn’t honest, but... i didn’t tell you before because i was afraid you’d turn me away. ”

with that, he let his eyes shut, and when they reopened, he turned to look into the other’s eyes ; offering a nervous smile. “ you... kinda just took my virginity, joohyung... ”

[fmdshieon]

♡  MINI UPDATE ON REPLIES, PLOTTING, & MORE UNDER THE CUT !

hi, everyone !  thanks so much for your patience when it comes to threads / messages from me. i start my 3 days off starting tomorrow, so i plan on getting to all of them starting then. i also wanted to apologize to those who reached out to me regarding my potential solo claim for shieon. turns out, i’m a moron and didn’t read the rules thoroughly, and i had to scrap the first draft of it, so when i piece together another mini that reflects his role in unity better, i’ll be sure to reach out once more for anyone that’s interested in collaborating, etc. ! thanks for your understanding ! 

[fmdminsun-deactivated20200715]

hi, spring

[fmdshieon]

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐔𝐍,

there’s a certain nonchalance in the way shieon speaks that sits strangely in minsun’s chest. they know their friend well enough, they hope, to know that it’s just a figure of speech, but it still stings to hear shieon talk about the worst. in their line of work, it’s always something they have to keep in the back of their mind, and it always breaks minsun’s heart a little further. 

“ah, shieonie, don’t say things like that!” they scold lightly, squeezing shieon’s hand.

the smile that colors shieon’s smile is so familiar then that minsun feels a little more at ease; knowing their friend is back safe and sound. with how busy they’ve both been it’s good to find each other here like this, and minsun can’t help how giddy they feel when they see the tea and the cake arriving one by one, their mouth watering at the smell. they watch shieon dig right in and are glad to find out that happiness and enthusiasm still look good on their best friend. 

minsun keeps their eyes on shieon’s movements as they listen, and they hope that the sweetness of the cake will help chase away the bitterness they feel at the mention of charm’s upcoming comeback. “i mean, it’s a bit of the same, you know? you take your place and you make the most of it…” minsun is used to it by now. anytime they get a chance to step into the recording booth they know they have to make the most of it. it had been better for the past few months, yeah, but it still felt like there was such a long way to go until they got where they want to be. “but even if i got the most, i don’t think it would make up for the song itself." 

it had been gnawing at minsun’s brain ever since they’d sat down with the team and the executives to hear the song for the first time. from the get go they’d known there would be sacrifices to make for this career, but it still hurts to feel like they can’t connect to the one thing they love. 

"i don’t want to undersell it but- i don’t really love it.” they hand their head for a second, and when they lift it back up, they’re met with shieon waving a forkful of cake in front of their face. they accept the sweet offering and it soothes their heart a little. “that’s bad, right?”

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐍 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐊𝐘 for such stunning mood lighting, and it allowed shieon to gaze over at minsun with a smile ; capturing their beauty with his own set of dilated pupils. the two of them were close — best friends, in a lot of fashions — but that didn’t mean that the slightly younger ( only by a few months ) wasn’t allowed to almost appreciate his cohort’s beauty. there was an innocence to minsun that shieon found gorgeous, and although he knew that he could come across too outspoken at times, whenever he laid on the compliments for his friends, he meant them with every fiber of his being. so, as the fellow brunet took his bite of cake, the minimally shorter grinned ; holding a palm out to catch any crumbs that might’ve fallen. “ it’s delicious, isn’t it ? i’m so glad we came here ! ” he cheered, forking up another bite for himself this time, continuing to listen to the other as they spoke. “ i don’t see why that’s bad, but i also don’t see how that’s good either... ” he reasoned, picking up a napkin to dab away at his lips ; not wanting to seem like a classless monster.

“ what is it that you don’t like about it ? trust me — i’m not crazy about all of unity’s music, but i don’t know if i’d go as far as saying i blatantly didn’t like something unless it was really bad. ” it may have been obvious, but having a renown boy group — especially one signed to a very large company — release a terrible song was an extremely horrible thing. if sales plummet, it could be a death sentence. “ no matter what it is you don’t like about it, though, like, there are plenty of artists out there who hate their music. i mean, i can name a few off the cuff, but you know... i’d be exposing people, and i don’t wanna be that messy today. ” shieon laughed, sitting back in his chair. “ i’m sorry, i don’t mean to make light of the situation, especially if it causes you to worry, minsun - ah. ” moving one of his ankles forward, he let it glide along his friend’s ; hoping the contact would offer support, and comfort. “ tell me though : what’s on your mind ? maybe the remastered version will be better than what you’re listening to now ? ”

[fmdshieon]

✨  𝐁𝐀𝐄  𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐎𝐍  :  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐒.

an idol’s image is ( arguably ) one of the most important areas of their career. sure, any sort of talent, or charm point, is equally as crucial, but more often than not, they’re judged solely based on how they present themselves in the media / public eye. at first, being as he is one of the members of unity’s beloved ❛ maknae line, ❜ he was asked by dimensions to exude an adorably palatable energy, and his visuals resembled that of an ❛ angsty teenager, ❜ only making him more marketable towards the largely adolescent fanbase that the group had at début. this, to him, was quite the contrary to his typical personality. while his outfits were of the style that he’d usually fashion himself, the constant need to do aegyo, and to act like a child, was draining to him. if anyone new ever encountered him off the clock, they would more than likely be stunned with his use of foul language, his brutal honesty, and his not at all infantile demeanor. that wasn’t to say that he was ever the ❛ cutest ❜ in the group, but he often tried to compete with those who were. it ate away at his soul after awhile, and midway through unity’s growth, he began to rework his branding ; planning to present a far more ❛ mature ❜ side of himself to all of his fans, and to the general public at large.

starting from the release of their ❛ unity empathy ❜ album, shieon began to slowly evolve into an individual that he wanted to be ; someone that was viewed a bit sexier than before, and he mostly achieved this through his ensembles. each item was selected by their stylist, but he had input on them. sure, occasionally he was forced into something he loathed, but for the most part, his clothing really allowed his fanbase to see a duality in him : someone who had cute selcas, but who appeared more moody, and cold, in photo spreads. the change was welcomed with open arms, and open minds, and going forward, he was known in a light that pleased him more than before. sometimes he would get wrapped up in small aegyo challenges on variety shows, but it wasn’t at all as often as it used to be. additionally, he began to take his physical health more seriously : often going to the gym to tone up, as well as learning to dance in a more provocative manner, and when his group returned with ❛ simon says ❜ at the beginning of 2019, he only caused more delight by revealing chiseled abdominals, muscular thighs, and a round backside ; all of which elevated his appeal even more.

now, bae shieon is an emerging sexy dynamite, and has since added funny nicknames like ❛ unity’s baddie ❜ and ❛ unity’s thicc prince ❜ to his résumé. in the new year of 2020, he hopes to release a solo album that further solidifies his new place in the market, and hopefully, fans will appreciate all of his hard work.

[fmdshieon]

𝐉𝐎𝐎𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐆,

keep reading !

𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄 ? truth be told, if shieon wasn’t feeling as electric as he was, and if their night wasn’t as good as it was, he’d probably never tell joohyung the milestone that he’d just reached. however, he wasn’t all too sure how to bring it up. should he just spring it on him now, or save it for later ? it seemed like all the dancer wanted to do was get some sleep, and understanding their job, the younger understood completely, but at the end of the day, he wanted his needs to be met, too. he felt as though aftercare was important, especially with how his pale flesh had been marked up from the other’s expert touch. as the older’s fingertips traipsed over the marks now branding the vocalist’s hips, he winced in slight pain, but the negative sensation was soon replaced with the blissful memories of what had just transpired. any aching, any bruise, or love bite, would be a reminder of his loss of innocence, and in a sense, he almost couldn’t wait to head back to his dorm to tell his some of his members, ( mainly guanting, yul, and jihae ) but he wasn’t fulfilled yet. he needed more affection, he needed the softness after the roughness.

taking a moment to sit up, the 1998 liner grabbed onto the cloth that he was handed ; nodding in joohyung’s direction. “ alright, alright... i’ll at least clean off for now, ” he purred, his voice a bit hoarse from all of the moaning, and all of the poetic words he bellowed into the open air. “ i — i’m sorry for being so needy, by the way... i realize it probably makes you think that i’m less hot, but like, i don’t know... i guess i just wanted the full experience, hah. ” did that statement make his secret too obvious ? more than likely so, yes, but with that said, he dabbed up the droplets of sex from his abdomen — a mess of both of their orgasms decorated his torso. as he finished, though, he looked over to his lover and grinned ; viewing him in rose hued glasses as he climbed back in bed, and softly began to caress his face.

“ mmm... that’s much better, hyung... ” he purred, allowing his eyes to shut for a moment as he breathed deeply. “ if i confessed something to you, would you promise not to get mad ? ” there it was : the lead in question. “ don’t worry i’m not, like, IN LOVE with you or anything, but it’s still kind of... important, i guess ? i don’t know. i’m probably making it sound worse than it is. ”

[fmdshieon]

𝐉𝐈𝐇𝐀𝐄,

“Don’t make any bold assumptions, Bae Shieon,” Jihae threatened, though the softness of his voice eliminated most of the sharpness his words might’ve held otherwise. “I don’t have second thoughts, not exactly. I just… kind of feel like an impostor? I’ve never acted before or anything.” His fingers started prying at the seam of his sleeve. “And I know how the stage is. What if my inexperience gets in my way? I signed up for this, so now I want to do the task justice,” he grumbled. It all mostly boiled down to the usual: Han Jihae was a dreadful perfectionist, highly proficient in the art of tearing himself apart out of pure spite. He might have a lot of anger towards the world but it couldn’t really hold a candle towards how much he hated his own incompetence.

“It’s like the concerts, I guess,” he conceded tiredly. “Just… if it were just singing I know I could do it. I said yes because it sounded like fun but kind of only got thinking about how it’d be a lot of acting once it was too late.” The chuckle that followed this statement was laced with bitterness. “When I was offered the chance to model earlier this year I did that too and it kind of bit me in the ass. How hard can modeling be?” He pitched his voice up comically for the last bit. “And then it was actual work and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to do it properly. You’d think I would’ve learnt my lesson.” Another tug at the sleeve and the stitch holding the hem together came loose.

“Dude. Please don’t joke about that.” Thinking about failure made his stomach twist uncomfortably. To be honest, if he were in Shieon’s shoes he might’ve said something very similar but being on the receiving end felt like his friend had just dropped a bucket of ice cold water down his spine, even if it’d been meant to be a joke. Oh, the hypocrisy. “I know it’s not a lead role or anything but… still. I’d like to end this gig with dignity, you know? I might cry if I get super terrible reviews.” He waggled his eyebrows, the first sign of him loosening up a little bit. His wording might’ve been a little dramatic but thinking about it, he might actually cry frustrated tears if he didn’t manage to live up to his own expectations.

𝐀 𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐘𝐀𝐖𝐍 𝐑𝐎𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇, his arms stretching upwards in unison with his legs, and when all of his limbs were properly loosened, he stood from his bed — wandering over to the mattress that jihae was occupying. without even bothering to ask for permission, the raven - haired male plopped onto the plush cloud ; making himself comfortable as he proceeded to listen to his group - mate’s worries. each small thing that the older of them was worried about was valid, sure, but the younger couldn’t help but shake his head at each of them ; stifling laughter all the while. of all of the members of unity, jihae had to have been the most consistent. he was a thrilling performer, and he had the vocal ability to match. how he, of all people, was feeling a bit of cold feet confused shieon. hopefully, after hearing him out, and aiding in putting his thoughts to rest, he’d feel a boost of confidence.

“ i honestly feel like you’re just thinking too much about all of this, man... ” he began, rolling so that he was facing his comrade. “ it’s terrifying, but dude, you’re used to performing in front of crowds that are MUCH BIGGER than the audience in that theatre. like, sure, it might feel a little more intimate, but trust me — once you get on that stage, and the lights hit you, it’s about the same as promotions... it’s just a lot quieter, heh. ” one of his arms reached over to wrap around the other’s waist ; the closeness not an issue at all with shieon, obviously. “ is this okay, by the way ? i was getting cold over there, and i couldn’t hear you because you’re talking too quietly. ” he finally queried, hoping that the contact would be approved. more than anything, he saw the other male as one of his brothers, so this wasn’t at all his way of making moves. hopefully that was obvious. if not, things were going to turn extremely awkward and uncomfortable.

“ look, i understand things feel daunting now, and i’m sorry for making light of it. i was in the same spot as you not that long ago, remember ? i had all the same questions, and the same worries, but once i grabbed that fuckin’ musical by its horns and made it my bitch, like, it all started to click. ” his language was what many considered foul, but he couldn’t help it — if he wasn’t in front of a camera, he was definitely more at ease, so naturally, he used his own, real speech patterns. “ i don’t know what more you want me to tell you. kenickie’s an asshole, and you’re an asshole, too, so i think you won’t have any issues stepping into his shoes at all. ” with that, he released a soft laugh ; nudging his friend. “ tell me this ; let’s go there for a second — in your mind, what’s THE WORST thing that could happen to you ? tell me about it so i can tell you how fuckin’ ridiculous it is. ”

[fmdshieon]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐍𝐄.

*  SHIEON’s CURRENT LIVING SITUATION. *  APPROXIAMATELY 670 WORDS WRITTEN. *  COMPLETED FOR SHARED HOME EVENT.

𝐈𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐍𝐎 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘'𝐬 𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐌, and as much as he loves his fellow members, he genuinely cannot wait to have his own place — to breathe in his own surroundings, and not have to worry about being a burden on anyone else. all throughout his life he’s shared rooms with his elder siblings, so he’s used to living in a more communal environment, but after failing to have ample amounts of privacy since childhood, he craves what it feels like to have some peace, and some quiet. more often than not, he’s creating boards on pinterest for how he’d want his villa to be decorated, and there’s a countdown in his mind for the day his group reaches its four year anniversary. a joke he often makes is that he’ll likely be the first one out the door when the time comes, but what he fails to realize is that, as he moves into his own space, he’ll be far more lonesome than before, and a few weeks in, he’ll be wishing he had a roommate, and who knows ? maybe he’ll even seek one out. until then, he remains living with six other people, and he makes it work as much as he’s able to.

at present, he shares a room with huang sijian, ( or silas ) and likes to think of himself as a good roommate. he’s used to having to be quiet while other people sleep, and he’s respectful of the rapper’s space, but that in no way means that he’s anything other than himself even when he’s spending lots of time in his bedroom — hell, when he’s spending a lot of time at home, in a more general sense. while he may be more on the tidy side of things, and often picks up after everyone, he’s almost never wearing substantial amounts of clothing. all of the boys in unity have seen him naked multiple times, as he’s nowhere near shy about his body, but even in his most ‘ decent ’ attire, he’s simply wearing a pair of briefs, and a tank top. why would he work so hard to carve out beautiful muscles, and a gorgeous frame in general, if he was going to hide it with layers upon layers of clothing ? that, and truly, he’s just more comfortable bare.

that, more than likely, bothers some of his dorm - mates, and if it does, he’ll work to cover up a little more, but overall, he views his dorm as the space where he can unwind, and be his most comfortable self. why shouldn’t he be allowed to walk around, or rest, however he pleases ? moreover, because it’s a place he spends most of his downtime, he likes for it to look clean, as well as smell beautiful. does he overdo the air freshener ? perhaps. does he get onto the others about picking up after themselves ? oh, DEFINITELY. that’s probably his only gripe with some of his members : the lack of cleanliness that some of them have. he can’t fathom what their parents had to do to clean up after them, and despises that he’s had to fill those shoes now.

overall, though, he’s used to having a lot of people around while at home, as that’s been his life even up until now, but he finds himself getting more, and more, annoyed by his existence every day. idol life, as a whole, puts a lot of stress, and pressure, on his shoulders, so when he’s home he usually just sleeps... and takes very, very long showers in order to have some alone time. he hopes that, in the future, his schedule will slow down, and he’ll be able to appreciate his dorm a bit more before moving out, but for now, he decides to remain painfully ambivalent to his living situation — finding it more of a nuisance than anything sometimes, but he’s accepting of it.

for now, at least.

[fmdshieon]

💥  𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘'𝐬  𝐁𝐀𝐄  𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐄𝐎𝐍  as  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐉𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐑.

when it comes to halloween, shieon likes to choose costumes that blend a few factors : sex appeal, spookiness, and eccentricity. this year, THE JOKER seemed like the best fit.