fokeshi

one of a kind art dolls, paintings, and other ritual objects

[fokeshi]

3.

waiting on things to arrive

sometimes people say things like they are scared to paint and i never understand that part because what is the big deal 

you mess it up you paint it over, or something

i guess watercolor people have more to lose but still it’s just a painting

but then i suddenly commit and for a minute or two i understand the fear people are talking about, or some aspect of it.  or maybe i don’t, but just think i do.  neuroatypical brain.  bad brain.  maybe so, maybe no

but things are coming and i have committed to the bit

also i bound a book today for the first time in several years and it turned out okay

[fokeshi]

addendum to post 1

camera is needed but can wait because this is a work in progress and the journey is the destination and [insert trite saying HERE]

[fokeshi]

2.

it is 19 october

i want to experiment with mediums i have not tried before.  i say that but in truth i have tried so many mediums briefly over the years that it isn’t entirely accurate so to rephrase

i want to experiment with mediums such as crayons, things i have not used since i was approximately twelve, and tempera paint

once when i was thirteen or fourteen a friend and i made a giant paper mural with tempera and glitter, of a three headed dragon.  all i remember about tempera specifically is it cracked but stayed in place, had a distinctive smell that to this day i associate with children and chalk, and had good color payoff.  this was a long time ago and i’ve been assured there’s high quality tempera available now

(no i am not including such esoterica as egg tempera in this, which i made once when i was about nineteen in a college art class and then i understood the reason california made egging a house an act of vandalism on par with spraypaint

that stuff’ll stand the test of time)

one thing i have never used for art is fine line pens and i want to change that

colored pencils are new to me

the only mediums i reject are soft pastels because they make the kind of mess i hate, and oil pastels because they don’t make the kind of mess i want, and oil paints which are expensive and don’t interest me

i already get all the benefits of oil with all the fun of acrylics by, you know, painting with acrylics

i ruminate on this because i want to know why i am the way i am

so materialist all these wants that i think are needs and all these needs that i think are wants

[fokeshi]

1.

it is 15 october and i am making an art of contemplating the direction i want my art to go

i am not yet writing the directions down 

i have shopping lists of supplies i will need to get there

i need a camera too so i can post the things online if that is indeed how i choose to go and i believe it is inevitable that i make that choice

luck has never been my strong suit

i am getting old all the time

poverty is not only lack of money and resources but there is such a thing as the poverty of no one to depend on but the poorness and inadequate truth of me

however with money and resources the inadequate me could be deceived long enough into getting something done