After Peter got blipped away you started talking to the stars everyday, hoping he'd hear you. Until one day...
Warnings: Infinity War and Endgame spoilers. This is quite sad, but not entirely. Mentions of death.
Everything around you had started vanishing little by little: rocks, trees...people. It felt like a Russian roulette, the tension was eating you alive. All of your anxiety faded, replaced by grieve, panic, anger, desolation and disappointment, the moment you heard Peter's shaky voice.
"Mr Stark, I don't feel so good." Was the first thing you managed to hear as your internal conflict started to tear your heart apart.
One side of you wanted to deny that it was happening. You couldn't be losing Peter, the person you secretly were so sure you'd end up with but you were too scared to admit.
On the other hand, though, you couldn't risk to lose him without telling him what had been going on in your head for the past year. You couldn't let him go if he didn't know how his smile made you go dizzy; how his touch made your heart pound against your chest; how you were sorry that you had failed him.
"I don't wanna go." He said before falling onto your shoulder as you held him tightly, not willing to let go for the world.
Tears started blurring your vision but you quickly blinked them away, not wanting to miss a single glance of the boy that could've been your last.
"Pete, it's okay." You cried, trying to keep steady your shaky voice. You had to be strong for him, or at least pretend to be, just for a couple more seconds. It was all going so fast. Too fast.
His body was turning into dust and you knew you couldn't hold onto him for much longer before your knees would give you up and collapse onto the ground.
"I can't go. I never got to tell you that I'm in love with you, I don't wanna-"
Your eyes started dripping uncontrollably as you started calling his name, aware that it would be useless. Within seconds you had collapsed onto the ground, feeling as if nothing would make sense anymore now that you had lost not only the battle that could've saved billions of people, but the love of your life with it.
He was gone. Forever. And so was half of the global population. Worst part is, he never got to hear the words you should have said a long time ago. But your heart ached the most at the thought of how all of this could've been avoided: if you had done more he would still be here, families would still be united, Thanos wouldn't be a threat for any other planet in the universe.
You soon found yourself in Tony's cold suited arms, both crying and sobbing until sounds started to fade and everything became blurry. You thought that maybe your time had arrived, too. And maybe it's crazy, but you couldn't wish for anything else but for you to be next to Peter again. And if, in order to do that you had to be snapped away from the planet, you were ready for it.
Much to your dismise, you had just passed out due to your wounds, blood loss, dehydration, massive physical efforts, brain shock due to trauma.
"Hey kid, what's up?" Tony asked as he stepped into the kitchen.
"Same as always." You confessed, poking your food with a fork and swinging it around in your plate.
He took a seat across from you as he set his beer in front of him. "You have to eat. At least you've gotta try. It's been a month and this isn't healthy. Can you do that for me? For him? Please." He begged softly.
You slowly nodded as teardrops started marking your cheeks.
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"Hey, it's me again. I hope I don't bother." You announced as you laid on your back on the grass. Every night you sneaked out Tony's house to sit down on the grass and relax. Every night your speech started and ended with the same words.
Since the whole thing happened, you had decided to come down here at night so that you could talk with Peter. He always was your star, now more than ever and you needed to tell him now because you never brought yourself to tell him when it actually mattered.
"I hope you're doing good. No, I hope you're doing amazing because I'm doing awful. So, you know, we kinda need to balance it." You joked, trying to lighten your own mood. "At least I properly ate something today for the first time in a while."
"I miss you, Peter. I really do. And I kinda hate myself for that. I know that if you were here you'd tell me it's not my fault, you'd probably thank me for even just trying but we both know it is my fault and you're just too kind to admit it. God, I miss you like crazy." You tried to hold back your sobs.
"I'm so sorry that I failed you, I know you counted on me. I'm so sorry that I let that monster just blip my powers away, together with you. You don't even imagine how hard it is to eat, sleep, leave the room without feeling guilty for everything. I know I'm probably not going to sleep tonight as always, but you're probably busy playing chess with Strange or something."
You sighed, trying to smile weakly. "I should've just told you this a long time ago, but I love you."
And in that moment a shooting star crossed the sky making you smile through the tears that had started drowning your sight not even a ten words into your speech. Right after you pronounced the last words of your monologue, 'I love you', every night a shooting star would run across the sky right over your head, making you smile nostalgically and think that this might not've been a monologue after all.
You wanted to be okay. You wanted him to be okay. You needed Peter to be back, to be with you. You wished to open your eyes and being told that it was all a dream by the love of your life laying next to you.
Yet, deep down you knew it could never happen and it felt as if it was all your fault.
"Y/n" Pepper shook you gently. "Y/n, it's time for school."
You opened your eyes, trying to adjust to the light coming through the curtains. It was the first day of your new school and you didn't want to be late. You reluctantly got up and got changed.
You had asked Tony to move you to a new and closer school. You didn't feel comfortable with going back to Midtown when you knew that the only good thing that school offered wouldn't have been there. He wasn't going to be there.
You rushed downstairs, ate breakfast and said goodbye to everyone before leaving.
"You alright?" Someone asked as you zoned back into reality. Looking around you noticed you were in the chemistry lab and you couldn't even recall how you got there. It was hard to focus when chemistry was the last thing on your mind.
"Yeah." You mumbled as your eyes met a blonde boy's.
"I'm Josh. You're new here?"
"y/n" you introduced yourself. "And yeah, I'm from Queens. I've moved recently." You offer him a polite smile before
"Well, welcome then. You don't know many people I take it. I mean, you're new and all. You want to sit with us at lunch?"
"That's really kind, I'd like that." You reply, feeling hopeful that not all the good people were blipped away.
Lunch went by pretty greatly to be honest. You got to know Josh a little, as well as his friends: Mia, Logan, Harry and Sally.
Once you headed back home, Tony was ready to greet you with some homemade snacks.
"Hey kid! How was school?"
"It was alright, I even made some friends." You smiled softly.
"Friends?" He looked at you, surprised by the statement. "That's nice."
"Yeah" You breathed out. "Yeah, it is."
"I'm proud of you." He affirmed, kissing the top of your head before walking towards his lab. "Now go do your homework."
"Yes, boss." You mocked, laughing lightly.
Josh - Wanna hang out tonight?
Sally - Obv. We can catch a movie?
Mia - I'll let u know by tonight :)
Logan - Movie sounds great!
You were about to text them back, saying that you'd be happy to join when a reminder popped up on your screen.
'Blip.' - Today, all day -
It had been a year already?
You pushed up the notification before deleting the text and writing a new one.
You - Sorry guys, can't today.
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"Hey, it's me again. I hope I don't bother." You said as you sat down at your usual spot.
"Today has been quite hard. I know I said I was getting better but I think today brought me back a bit. It's been my first day back to school. No, not Midtown, a new one. Anyways, I've made some new friends and they asked me to hang out tonight but I told them I couldn't. I mean, I have other plans." You look up.
"I know you would never want me to cancel my plans to mourn you but here I am. I mean, everything is going so fast. It seems like yesterday that I waited at your locker while talking to MJ and Ned about everything and anything." You sighed, taking a deep breath in.
"You know, it's been a year and I still can't even think of moving on. It sucks." You bit your tongue to prevent yourself from crying and decided to change the topic.
"Today I found a four leaf clover, you know? While I wad going to school. That made me smile. I guess those things work because you know I've never been the type to make friends so easily."
"It's kinda late now, I've got school tomorrow. Goodnight Pete. Say hi to Ned and MJ too, tell them I miss them like crazy. I love you."
Punctual as always, the comet shot through the sky.
"Hey, y/n! Wait!" You heard Josh call from beside you as you were about to leave the school.
"Oh, hey Josh." You smiled. "Can I do something for you?"
"Yeah, actually." He asked confidently. "You see, I kinda like you and I wanted to ask you out. Maybe tonight?"
You were taken aback by the words of you best friend of three years. You didn't know how to feel about this, a piece of your heart would only belong to Peter but maybe it was time to move on.
You accepted, smiling widely to mask your doubts and headed back home.
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"Hey, it's me again. I hope I don't bother." You smiled, sitting on the grass. "Sorry, I know it's late, I just got home from...alright, I went on a date. It's weird to be talking about this with you of all people but do you remember Josh? Well, he asked me out at school today and we met up tonight. He was really sweet and kind and- we almost kissed. Don't worry, Tony has your back, he ruined the moment." You giggled.
"Truth is, I know you'd want me to move on but I don't know how to feel about him. It's been three years. Three years. Maybe it's time for me to...you know. Even though I don't want to, it's probably not too healthy to keep pushing everyone away." You sighed.
"Anyways, it's pretty late. I'm meeting Josh again in a couple of days, I'll try to figure it out as we go I guess." You concluded, getting up on your feet.
"Goodnight Pete." You looked at the sky for a couple more seconds, waiting for the comet that didn't seem like it would come.
"Hey! No goodnight tonight? What are you, jealous?" You chuckled lightly. "You know I'll always love you, right?"
In that moment the comet shot across the sky as every other night. You frowned at the sight but quickly shook your head at the though that the shooting star could really be Peter's deed.
"C'mon babygirl, how about we put your toys back in place and we go to bed?" You suggested, but it was really more of a demand.
"But I'm not tired!" Morgan whined playfully. "How about we play some more?" She asked, giving you the puppy eyes that always got her anything she wanted from Tony.
"You'll be the death of me." You laugh playfully before agreeing on five more minutes of playing.
"I want to say goodnight to dad." Morgan smiled, fiddling with the toy in her hand.
"Alright but let's make it quick, you shouldn't even be up by now." You chuckled, leading the girl to the door. Once you head down the stairs, Morgan sits on the last step to observe her father. You stand up next to her, still holding her hand.
You gently nudged her to go on and say goodnight to him so that you could put her to bed and get some sleep yourself.
"Shit!" Tony mumbled suddenly.
"Shi-" Morgan tried to repeat but was cut off by your hand on her mouth. You gave Tony an apologetic look as you shot the girl a serious glare.
The man turned around, locking eyes with the girl before softly smiling at you.
"What are you doing up, little mess?" Tony asked his daughter. You took your hand off Morgan's lips so that she could reply.
"Shit." She giggled again, making you pinch the bridge of your nose with your thumb and index finger, shaking your head lightly.
"No, we don't say that. Only Mommy says that word. She coined it, it belongs to her." Tony explained in all seriousness, making you chuckle at his words.
"Why you up?" Morgan asks.
"'Cause I got some important shit going on here."
"Tony!" You hissed, shooting a disbelieving glare at the irreverence of the man.
"No, I got something on my mind." He shot his hands up in defeat as he looked at you, then back at the girl. "I got something on my mind."
"Was it Juice Pops?" Morgan asked.
"Sure was. That's extortion. Great minds think alike. Juice Pops, exactly was on my mind." He commented, looking back for a brief moment at the hologram that was behind him.
The man got up, taking the girl in his arms and lifting her up to take her to the kitchen. You looked at the scene as your heart filled with joy and pain at the same time. Even though you had lost everything and everyone in the blip: your parents, your friends, the boy you loved.
The only thing you could be grateful for was your newfound family: the Starks. Tony and Pepper had taken you with them ever since the blip happened. You had been with Morgan ever since she was born, you were like siblings and the adults were like parents.
No one could ever replace your actual family but the Starks were the closest thing to that. You were happy you had a new family and a new group of friends, even though no one could possibly replace the original ones.
The only person you weren't quite able to move on from was him. Mainly, because you didn't want to.
"Tell me a story." Morgan demanded after she had finished her juice pop and was laying comfortably in her bed. Tony was kneeling beside her bed, their heads at the same height while you were standing up straight, a few feet back.
"A story." The man pretended to think. "Once upon a time Morgan went to bed. The end." He spoke quickly, making you chuckle.
"That's a horrible story." Morgan stated, joining you in the giggle.
"Come on, that's your favorite story!" He joked. "I love you tons." He said before getting up and kissing the girl on the forehead.
"I love you 3000." Morgan replied as a smile painted on all three of your faces. You felt your heart melt at the innocence of the girl and you could only imagine the kind of joy that ran through the man's veins.
"Wow." He whispers, turning off the lamp.. "3000. That's crazy." He adds softly before opening the door and stepping outside of it. "Go to bed. Or I'll sell all your toys. Night, night." He joked in spite of his straight face. You chuckled, watching Tony as he left.
You gave the girl a kiss on the forehead too after having moved some chunk of hair.
"Wait." She called. "Dad hasn't told me a story. Can you?" She asked.
"Of course." You smiled, taking a seat on the girl's favorite chair which was definitely too small for you. "Which one do you want?"
"I wanna hear about Spiderman!" She clapped her hands together excitedly.
"Spiderman? How do you know about him?" You asked surprised. You would be lying if you said that you didn't feel your heart sinking at the only mention of that name.
"Dad always tells me stories about him." The girl smiled. "He says it keeps him alive."
At those words your heart sunk even deeper, making your eyes start to water at the memory of his last words to you, right before he left. That day was the anniversary of the blip, it was five years since you last had seen Peter. Or everyone else in your life. Or in the world.
"Is it true that you have powers?" She asked.
"Yes, Spiderman and I were good friends." You confess, trying to fight back the tears.
"Can you tell me about that?"
"Of course babygirl." You nod weakly. You knew that talking about him would've broke you but Tony was right. "It keeps him alive."
The moment the girl had drifted to sleep, you looked at her for a few seconds, smiling. You then left the room, allowing yourself to run to the roof before giving in to your breakdown.
"Hey, it's me again. I hope I don't bother. I miss you. So much. And I hate that. You know why? Because you're the best thing that had ever happened to me and now-now you're the worst. In a sense. God, I hate this." You mumbled before wiping your tears and taking a deep breath.
"Five years. That's a long time. Is it weird that it still hurts so much? I literally dumped Josh for you and you're not even here anymore. I feel awful." You stopped, taking in a deep breath to prevent your voice from cracking and your tears from falling anymore.
"You know, I wish you met Morgan. She's just like Tony, you'd love her. Plus, she's a fan of Spiderman." You smiled at the image of your Peter playing with your Morgan.
"You know, today someone came to visit. Yeah, Cap, Nat and a few others. They wanted to talk to Tony God knows what about, but it must've been important. I mean, it's Captain America reaching out to Tony Stark we're talking about." You chuckled through the tears before letting melancholy take over again. "I'm sure they miss you, too. But I miss you more."
Your eyes were glued to the sky as the tears blurred out the already unclear image of the moon. "Goodnight Pete. I love you." You took a shaky breath before spotting the comet that shot across the sky every night.
"Wow kid, that was deep." A voice called from behind you. You quickly turn around a little embarrassed and wipe off a few tears with the back of your hand.
"How much did you hear?" You ask, sitting up straight.
"Enough." Tony replied, taking a seat next to you. For five years he had been blaming himself for it all. He should've never put Peter such danger. He was just a kid, and now...he's gone.
But how often do you get the chance to make up for your mistakes? Well, this was his.
"You were really close, huh?" He asks as he pats his shoulder for you to lean your head on.
"Yeah, he- he kinda told me he had feelings for me before..." You couldn't bring yourself to finish the sentence without breaking down in tears again, so you voted against it.
"He did?" Tony asked surprised by the revelation. "God, it only took him a purple space monster who canceled half of the global population to ask you out." He commented sarcastically, making you chuckle lightly.
"You know I love you as if you were my own daughter, right?" He asked, causing you to nod softly. "I love you tons."
"I love you too. 3000." You replied mocking Morgan's words as a soft chuckle left the man's lips.
A comfortable silence fell on the two of you as you admired the horizon. The darkness of the night held you as a comfort blanket, and you felt safe as the man's arm wrapped around your shoulders.
You loved the night, for it was the only moment you could feel Peter speaking back to you.
"I think-" He cleared his throat. "I think we can bring him back. We can bring them all back."
You were sleeping in your bed at the Avengers facility in Peter's arms as a knock on the door woke you up.
"Yeah?" You mumbled while sitting up, still pretty much asleep. Peter opened his eyes and replicated your motion, focusing his gaze on the half-opened door.
"I can't sleep." Morgan admitted while fidgeting with her hands. "And mom comes back tomorrow from her work trip."
"Do you want to sleep with here?" You asked, already knowing the answer. The girl nodded, mumbling a "yes please".
You pecked Peter on the cheek before getting up to pick the girl in your arms. "Alright, you sleep here with Peter." You kissed her on the cheek too before setting her down on the bed.
"No, you can stay." Peter offered.
"Why can't you both stay?" She asked.
"The bed is small, it'll be uncomfortable." You explain with a tired smile.
"Please, stay." She asked, giving you both the puppy eyes. You look over at Peter who nods, meaning that he was okay with it.
"Alright babygirl, we'll stay." You smile genuinely before crawling back in bed next to the mosh important people in your life.
'This is perfect.' You thought.
"Can you tell me a story?" She asked shyly.
"Sure," Peter spoke while wrapping his arm around the both of you. "Which one do you want to hear?"
"Mom always tells me about Ironman." She confessed. "She says it keeps him alive." Your hear broke at the girl's words, both for their meaning and the memories tied to them.
"Alright then, Ironman it is." Peter smiled sadly, starting to tell the story of one of the superhero's adventures. Morgan put her head on the boy's chest as she leaned into every word he said.
After the story was over, though, your eyes refused to close. You missed him. Tons.
Stories about him would help Morgan and Pepper keep him alive, so you decided to feel him there your own way.
You got up quietly, trying not to wake up either one of the two, and you tiptoed all the way to the roof. You sat down and looked at the stars, allowing your tears to finally flow freely.
"Hi, it's me again. I hope I don't bother." You begun.
"You should really change your opening line, I don't feel special if you use the same one for everyone." Peter's voice made you turn around quickly. "Plus, you never bothered me in five years, I don't think he'll mind." He continued while walking and then sitting next to you.
"Of course I did. Every night." He smiled while locking gazes with you.
"So the shooting star-" You furrowed your brows. "Was that you?"
"Oh yeah, remind me to thank Strange for that." He chuckled lightly before stretching his arm across your shoulders, holding you tight and closer to him. A comfortable silence fell on the two of you.
"Do you want me to go while you two catch up?" Peter asked while drawing small circles on the exposed skin of your arms.
"I'd like you to stay. Besides, I bet you have a lot to tell him, too." You smiled. Peter knew how much this moment of the day meant to you, and he couldn't help but feel happy and loved when you revealed that you would like him to be part of it.
As the two of you spoke, the night seemed frozen in place. You took a trip down to memory lane amongst the many stories and hopes. A soft breeze lifted up each time you shed a tear or a laugh, making Peter hold you closer to prevent you from the cold.
It was about 4 am when you and Peter started feeling tired.
"Goodnight Mr. Stark and thank you for everything." Peter said standing up, yet not diverting his gaze from the stars.
As those words left the boy's mouth, the sky lighted up for a moment as the moon suddenly released a sort of aura around it that took over the whole sky.
You felt a warm tear running down your cold cheek, making you smile lightly as you leaned into Peter's arms.