365 Poems

A lot of shit goes on in a year and I want to document it. I want to write a new poem every day for all of 2016. I think it will help document everything. In the tags I will talk about good and bad things about the day and my poems will be about the thing I've thought most about that day. If you like them, feel free follow, just know that I'm doing this for myself.Disclaimer: this is probably really bad, unprofessional, shit writing but whatever.

[for-my-resolution]

March 21, 2017

I need you In my life I think. Days when we don't talk I wish we did And days when we do talk I wish we'd talked more. It's pathetic really, How much I love you. I would never Be able to say The thoughts I think When it comes To how I feel about you. It's mushy And gushy And I know you hate that stuff. Today I miss you And I want to tell you how I'm doing And I want to hear about your day. And for some reason Today More so than any other day I wish I could tell you I love you.

[for-my-resolution]

February 20, 2017

All I wanna do Is message you right now. I want to message you And tell you I'm proud of you And I'm happy You're figuring things out. Yes I'm going to miss you When you leave. I'm going to miss you every day. Every time Something fun Or interesting happens I'm going to wanna tell you about it. But more than that I'm going to be proud. I'm going to be proud that my best friend Is happy. That my best friend Is serving his country. That my best friend is learning And is finally doing What he wants to be doing. I'm going to be proud of you And then I'm going to miss you. I love you so much.

[for-my-resolution]

February 19, 2016

Before we talked It was cold in my room. I was directly under the vent And my three blankets weren't enough To keep my warm And I was shivering. After we talked I don't need blankets I'm directly under the vent My toes are warm And I've forgotten what it feels like To shiver

[for-my-resolution]

January 22, 2016

I don't want to sleep. And I don't want to dream. All I'll dream of Is you. All I'll dream of Is how I wanna be around you And how I like talking to you. Why would I want to dream that When I can just stay awake And wait for you to want me. Wait for you to miss me. Wait for your message And wait for you To stop being so busy. I don't have anything I really wanna say And there's nothing really on my mind I just wanna talk About nothing So I don't have to dream about it.

[for-my-resolution]

January 12, 2017

You came up in conversation today And as usual My stomach sank And I didn't feel good And I tried to change the subject. Then I heard you have a girlfriend And grew your hair out And I had to laugh. You told me for such a long time That you didn't think you'd want a girlfriend For a long time So it was funny. And I get it Like I'm not bitter Because your whole life changed When you left So I'm not surprised that way of thinking Was altered And I know You've always wanted To grow your hair out. You've always wanted hair Long enough to put in a ponytail Or a manbun Or whatever. But honestly The image that popped into my head Was your face With shoulder length Blond 2000s skater boy hair With a middle part While you wear a Star Wars shirt In college. And that was the funniest thing I'd thought of In such a long time. And it was refreshing To finally have a negative thought. It was nice to think about you And laugh Instead of want to vomit. I got emotional about it later But now I'm done being emotional today And I think Hearing you're happy With your hair And your girlfriend Is a nice update But like I don't know I hope I can move on now Because I'm sick of writing about you And I'm sick of thinking about you And what I'd do If I ran into you at the store And if I'd invite you to coffee So you can tell me about flagstaff. I'm sick of thinking about you. I don't think you've had a conscious thought About me in months So I just really hope That hearing this stuff about you Can show me I can move on too.

[for-my-resolution]

January 11, 2016

If I want to change I wanna do it for me. If I want to stop apologizing I'm doing it So I don't damage myself further Not because it's an inconvenience For the one I apologize to If I want to make friends It's so I won't be alone Not so my parents stop worrying About me And goddammit if I wanna lose weight I wanna do it for me Not because some dude I barely started conversing with Thinks I'd look good If I 'toned up'

[for-my-resolution]

Technically January 9, 2017

For the first time in a while My head is clear. My eyes are heavy And I have a larger desire to cuddle Than I do to actually sleep. Right now I crave human contact. Right now My mouth is dry And I have a smile on And my ears are hearing static My skin is on fire My core is tingling And I can't get you out of my head. It feels good. And it also feels good Knowing for sure This would be the last time You make me feel like this I'm savoring it this time. All I want Is a kiss goodnight And to feel warmth Other than the fire on my skin. I want to be with you I want to make you feel like I do In this very moment

[lonesomeghosts-deactivated20181]

[for-my-resolution]

January 7, 2017

If I message you All that's gonna happen Is I'm going to try to say something To get you turned on And I'm going to be disappointed When you remind me you don't want me And then I'm going to feel bad for myself And nothing is going to change beyond that. I should go to bed I really really should But I really miss you tonight And I miss our old conversations And I still want you.

[for-my-resolution]

December 5, 2016

All I want to do When I get home Is tell you about my day. I wanna tell you the good parts The bad ones The funny ones And everything in between. I wanna tell you what made me happy Because I want you to be happy too. But I don't. Because I'm actually kinda scared. Because you never seem interested Unless it's something That makes my stomach hurt From laughing. You always say Nice Or Ok. What am I supposed to do with that? How am I supposed to have a conversation With my only friend When that's all you say? When I ask a question You always say Idk When I tell you something You don't seem to care. And I know you care about me I know you'd miss me if I died But I'm so eager to talk to you And you couldn't care less. I don't know What I can do better But I'm trying.

[for-my-resolution]

January 1, 2017

I'm so tired. I feel weak. I have an upset tummy Because of my anxiety. And I just hope More sleep can fix me

[for-my-resolution]

I don't wanna write for my last day bc I'm not done but I miss lafe and I pissed derek off today and I have no friends and I'm as anxious and pathetic as ever lmfao I'm going to stil write poetry I just hope 2017 doesn't consist of so much bs about stupid boys who hurt feelings for a living

[for-my-resolution]

December 30, 2016

I'm so tired Of hatred. I'm tired of anger And I'm tired Of feeling Like there's another fight Right around the corner. I don't wanna be stuck In a sad angry place Because of anger I wanna figure out how to move on And how to grow From the mistakes I've made That cause so much anger.

[for-my-resolution]

December 29, 2016

The stars are beautiful aren't they? As a whole The night sky Is breathtaking and immaculate. It's kind of like humanity. As a whole Maybe only one stands out, Kind of like the sun. But that doesn't mean All the other stars Cease to exist. The stars are all different sizes In different positions And have a different purpose All of which are important. Everyone radiates their own little light And even if it's not seen by the naked eye It's still considered beautiful. Stars are invisible When they are outshone By another star But that could be seen differently If we stand on another planet. If we look at things from a different perspective It's all changed But it's all still beautiful. It's all so beautiful.

[for-my-resolution]

December 28, 2016

I can't write this. Not today. Because all I wanna do is cry Because I'll never have you Like I want you Or where I want you. I can never have you And it actually really hurts.

[for-my-resolution]

December 27, 2016

Sometimes I feel Like there's not a whole lot for me here. Sometimes I feel Like I could disappear And no one would notice for a while But even if there's not I'm not done fighting For the people and things I love most.

[for-my-resolution]

December 26, 2016

I haven't smiled so much And I haven't giggled like that And I haven't blushed so hard Or talked on the phone for so long I don't know what to think And it's freaking me out And I just really hope This is going to be good For everyone.