let's struggle to dine with mama
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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Kiana Khansmith
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
Keni
Fai_Ryy

roma★

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The Bright Sessions
Mike Driver
taylor price
art blog(derogatory)

blake kathryn
tumblr dot com
The Stonewall Inn
Cosimo Galluzzi
The Bowery Presents
h
noise dept.

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@for-the-outliers
let's struggle to dine with mama
I'm glad that people are still having fun on tumblr even after we found out about the frightening ghoul that reblogs posts but doesn't say anything
this is such a looney tuney solution. love it
You might think "Philosophy is cool but how does a real person apply any of this to their life" is an epic roast of philosophy but actually that's a whole ass branch of philosophy. The extent of their trickery boggles the mind.
If you've ever thought about thinking you should be executed by firing squad. Tired of this nonsense.
if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards
Jack Rabbits are North American Hares and they’re the WORST to encounter at night becuase:
You all know how big a rabbit is. Jack Rabbits and hares are much bigger. they’re the size of large cats or small dogs or just-walking-age children.
They also like to hang out in gangs of a hlf dozen to over 30.
and in the middle of backcountry dirt roads.
perhaps they’re dustbathing
or blood sacrifce
I don’t know because when you come up the road at night because your dog has a tiny bladder and needs to go out at midnight and you have no yard so you’re walking him on the dirt road around your neighborhod because you might aw well get some stargazing in, and you come just over the ridge to see a coven of twenty jackrabbits in the middle of the road
and
they
all
stand
up
not just onto all fours like a proper prey animal
No they get up on thier hind legs and don’t just sit but STAND like tiny rabbit-skinned toddlers, wobbing slightly as they stare directly at you eyes shining in your flashlight’s glow
…Blood Red.
And a chill goes through you on that warm july night because while they’re a puntable size and allegedly herbivores they’re standing and watching you just like people and you are vastly outnumbered.
everyone freezes
you’re considering your odds aganst roughly 200lbs of Suspiciously Humanoid Hare
and they’re considering their odds against you
the only sound in the never-ending high desert wind
somewhere in your peripheral vision you can see the streetlights but they seem awfully far away
The nearest Jack Rabbit
Blinks
and takes a single shuffling step
forward
You area an overdevloped monkey and your prefrontal cortex is capable of some amazing feats but it runs very slowly compared to the reflexes of a rabbit and you’re frozen as you desperately scramble for the appropriate course of action, hands feeling thick and useless, mouth dry and feet imeasurably heavy there’s no way you’d outrun THESE, god there’s a rabies outbreak going around that shit’s not curable-
The Dog
L U N G E S
It’s only the briefest of movements but the animal you’d picked out for his gangly legs and floppy ears and goofy smile is suddenly a dark shape of muscle and teeth and had flung himself at the horrible goblin rabbits faster than mere physics should dictate, appearing in the circle of the flashlight for only the briefest of moments before the jolt from the leash makes you stumble and the light falters
The Jack Rabbits
Scatter
Vanishing into the faintly starlit sagebrush in as so many faint gray shapes that might be mistaken for the dustclouds they kick up
Later, you sit on the couch disquieted
and you wonder
If the sight of the Jack Rabbits standing and studying you was frightening enough to make you yearn for the safety of the yellowed streetlights
what must it be like from thier end?
what terrifying creature
deliberately ties itself
to something so horrible
As a Dog?
@gallusrostromegalus that last bit gave me such a strong mental image I absolutely had to draw it
WELL HOLY SHIT.
CONGRATULATE, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GOING FOR.
is it ok if I print it out and stick it on the fridge?
clearly we need to create a new folkloric figure for suburban americans called Cat-Stealer Johnson who drives around in a honda accord and steals any and all outdoor cats he sees. and if anyone confronts him he cackles like the wicked witch of the west and says "there's only one way to stop meeeee! keep your beasties indoors! the four walls of the human home are my only weakness! ahahahaaa!!" and with enough cultural saturation we will finally eliminate "indoor-outdoor cats" foreverrrrrr
Now that all 3 McElroy brothers have had vasectomies, I realized every episode of MBMBAM is now me listening to my Three Wise Eunuch Advisors
Ghoul pls don't put this curse on me
Just tried to play an ancient flute and it started filling the room with this awful miasma that wont go away
Why does staff still allow people funnier than you to leave tags on your posts. They should have fixed that by now
Thought my gf cheated on me again so I messed around with her gay brother, but it turns out it really *was* just her cousin that she was spending time with, so now I’m kinda feeling guilty and confused
Is this how a priest in a confessional booth feels… ten hail marys
I saw this post on the Wikipedia
@posts-i-saw-on-wikipedia Explain
I was browsing the Wikipedia, and the post was there.
Wikipedians share memes, too, y'know?
I forgot that Wikipedia has like a forum section (?) and thought you saw this in an article and was baffled at the thought. My bad carry on
I mean it is featured on this article
wow that was some article. wikipedians are lot wilder than i thought
clocked this entire website
Hate how lighting a candle does wonders to my mood. Like wowwww. Grug like fire? Grug not sad anymore because Fire in Cave? Wow. Real predictable of Grug.
Why do so many cephalopods die immediately after reproducing?
Okay so the physical reason is that mating triggers a change in their brain chemistry and hormone levels that essentially poisons them and makes them behave strangely and stop eating. If the gland responsible for this change is removed, the cephalopod continues as normal and lives for many months after laying eggs.
But the evolutionary reason is the end-Cretaceous extinction. Cephalopods used to have a pretty huge variation in lifespan, ranging from a few months to over 200 years (https://www.iflscience.com/ancient-paperclipshaped-sea-creature-could-live-for-200-years-57685)
Ancient Paperclip-Shaped Sea Creature Could Live For 200 Years
Large, long-lived cephalopods were hit hard by the mass extinction and those who survived did so by being short-lived and reproducing quickly, so they were selected for as cephalopods recovered from the extinction event. The most ancient species, the nautilus, can live for several decades and mate many times, hinting at the high diversity of life strategies that cephalopods used to have.
So yeah, the reason octopuses usually only live a year or two before self-destructing is because of that fucking asteroid.
wellm wellm wellm
how serendipitouse that youm would be sittinge down to a deliciouse meal at the precise momente which im storvinge to death
was suddenly moved to draw a toony sort of character design .. but this is a bit too close to 2013 tumblr sexyman for my own comfort
idk why this has been suddenly getting notes again but scytheguy says thank you
brooding men who cannot communicate their feelings if their life depended on it are only hot when they're fictional. if i have to deal with one in real life i will curse him and pray for his downfall every night before i go to bed
It's because the writer communicates their feelings for them. If people wanna pull that off in real life they need to hire a guy to walk around behind them narrating.
#can i be the guy#ill narrate SO incorrectly#theyll all learn how to talk for themselves just to shut me up (via @cirrus-grey)
i'm loving the implication that this isn't something they hired you for, but something you'd do as some sort of public service.