NYClarity

Katie asked for me to write while I was in New York... So, this is me doing that.

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Boston

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Philadelphia

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PEZ!!!

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Random things

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Forgot to mention going to Amityville and Kayaking before Jackson and them came to visit.

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Looking frenzied, Looking frazzled/Peaked as any alp/Flushed and rushed and razzle-dazzled...

So, I haven't written in a while... Sorry about that. 

Jackson, Molly, and their friend Brittany came to visit over the weekend (by "weekend" I mean "Thursday through Saturday"). It was action-packed... VERY action-packed. We walked around for a bit when they got here on Thursday and met up with Laurie to watch Beetle Juice (Or Betelgeuse for those who have watched the movie wholeheartedly)... JESUS!! There were a lot of people. It took a lot of energy for me to just chill out to watch the movie. No space, no easy exit, and stupid people makes for an anxious Heidi. From there we went to a karaoke place (they gave us our own little room where we chose our on songs and had our own alcohol... It was AWESOME!!). Side note: I don't feel confident about my singing anymore... Like, at all...  I downed a bit too much vodka because it was time to go, there was a lot of it left (we gotta get the money's worth!!), and no one else was drinking. From there, we went to Central Park and started waiting in line for Shakespeare in the Park tickets (basically, we slept on the street, waited until 6 where the Shakespeare people woke us up and told us where to go in the park to wait, then fell asleep there). Once we got our tickets, we went home, each took a shower (and napped a bit), then headed out to see the show. John Lithgow is amazing. I'm just saying. The show (King Lear) was neat. There were these really cool steel-drum-like instruments (but they were WALLS) that two guys played through out the show -- FREAKIN' COOL!!  We finally got home at around 1AM, decided that we were going to rush tickets for Pippin the next day which meant that we had to be up and out around 5AM. (I was kind of the only one who was ready by that time, but... 5:30 is close enough) We got to the line and waited 'til the box office opened at 10 (so, once again, sleeping on the street).  Once we got our tickets, we went to the John Lennon memorial (I'll attach a picture I took) then the Disney store and to the theater again for the 2:30 show.  Pippin was... Wow. The main reason why we wanted to see it was because it was my father's favorite show. I mean. Absolute. Favorite. He loved the concept of the show so much, he wrote Christmas Carol in the same sort of fashion. To see the revival was something I really wanted to do with Jackson. Damn, was it worth it. It was beautiful and amazing fun. (I may have cried a bit........ Shut up.) 

We came home. They packed and then left. Suddenly the apartment went from six people down to just one. Happily to say, I sat on my bed and started catching up on TV -- the cat quickly joined me.  After maybe two hours and a nice cup of tea later, I was bawling like I was the last water source known to man. It took me another half hour to realize that I was probably just tired.  Went to sleep, woke up 13 hours later. 

There ya go. That explains the previous gif. 

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Museum of Arts and Design Some of these are details of the other... One is with/without flash.

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Oooooh! Look at the pretty flowers! (Went to Brooklyn Botanic Garden)

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In my (room) head

I started reading a Gypsy Magic book (it was something that interested me and so I convinced Mom [or even Dad] to buy it at the Ren fair maybe two years ago). The introduction talks about how the Gypsy people are travelers: we all started out as travelers, but some people decided that they wanted to stay and they created this whole new way of life. This eventually dwindled the Traveler group down immensely. All the Settlers had created knew practices and beliefs, where the Traveler group kept the old practices and beliefs in tact. I mean, that whole bit makes sense because everyone points out how so many of the holidays from varying religions are around the same time; there are a lot of intersections of beliefs; and that no one really knows where Gypsies came from. This made me think about my current feelings. My feeling of not having a home. Perhaps I'm just a traveler by nature. I mean, I've always preferred being in my car. I get an itch to get up and leave if I've stayed in one place for too long.. Maybe I'm just projecting myself into something I know nothing about. Maybe I took the threat of being sold to the Gypsies as a child a little bit too seriously. Maybe... Maybe I'm over-impressionable and should just stop thinking -- Someone should probably tell me that.

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There's always that...

If nothing really good comes from this whole trip, it can just be known as "The Summer my Wisdom Tooth Came In"

Okay, maybe that's just funny to me...

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Perfect Pair

So, I got to talk to people in the show... Most of them didn't know this was my first show in New York -- which is kind of exhilarating. I was supposed to meet up with Stacey to see another show in the festival, but was heading out too late, so I called her, left a message, and started heading back home to maybe chill for a second again before going to the theater to load out. Ended up catching up with one of the guys from the show and talked with him most of the way back home. When he got off at his stop, I looked at my phone to see that Stacey had texted and called saying that I still could've gotten in and moved to sit next to her after intermission... Shit. I suck... I texted her back saying I just got those texts (it was half an hour later) and told her that I'd meet her afterwards and help her load out. I will apologize profusely and then ask her how it was. Le sigh. It's been extremely nice getting to know these people in Rescue Rue. They are so damn talented and genuine... I've been spoiled!

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Bigger Boat (as in, "you're gonna need a")

I got invited to a surprise party for Stacey (writer/director of Rescue Rue). It was Jaws themed. I didn't quite realize that this meant we're all playing a drinking games whilst watching "Jaws." This also included the three people who set it up (more Rescue Rue people) being dressed up as Quint and have Narragansetts for everyone to drink and crush at the appropriate time. I don't think anyone else has ever realized how many times they say "shark" or how many mustaches there are in the movie Jaws. Either way, it was awesome. I was entertained and got to spend some time with people that weren't working or from an OKC date.

I'll post a picture in a minute.

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Lament for Smells

I miss the smell of bleach. Bleach. How fucking ridiculous is that? I miss the ability to spray a good combination of bleach and water over anything and everything and have it just smell clean. It wasn't an over-powering bleach smell. It was just naturalized. Maybe I got too used to the preschool where I worked with a germaphobe... Here, when I clean things, it feels like I'm covering everything with Febreeze. Not cleaning. Febreezing. Febreeze doesn't kill the odor. It tries to mask it. I know this because it never covered the smell of 50+ teenagers sweating to death in leotards they couldn't wash. I also know this stuff we have here to clean doesn't work because I tried using it and now I just smell lavender mixed with whatever was in the garbage can. It's horrendous. I even tried washing out the actual garbage can with this cleaner. Didn't work. But you know what WOULD work? Bleach. God, I miss bleach.

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...i'm kinda sad and lonely tonight... ...can somebody tell me where i'm supposed to be... ...who i'm supposed to be... ...where i belong... ...where i'm wanted... ...and then i can figure out the hows...

-Laurie

Nailed it.

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Riddle Me This

How is it the one time I go out to eat by myself in New York, I actually see someone I kind of know?

Better question: Do guys think it’s weird for a girl to be sitting at a beer garden having dinner by herself on a Saturday night?

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And now?

So, I have to now figure out my life.

Okay, not my WHOLE life, but my NEW YORK life.

Am I staying? Probably not. I haven't gotten a real job (thanks, temp agencies). I have no source of income. I would feel shitty to give my resume to a "real job" now since they would have to train me and put up with me being new only for me to leave in a few weeks.

When in August am I coming back? Well, the girl whose bed I am sleeping in (that sounds wrong) is coming back for everything on the 15th. This means that I will be in an officially empty room after that (Laurie and Abby have an air mattress, so I wouldn't be completely on the floor). I just don't know when a good time to go back is. I guess that's something to discuss with my mother.

Am I done "soul searching?" Is anyone ever really "done?" I've hit some interesting points of thought while I was here. I don't know if I would have whether I was in Illinois or not. It honestly hasn't felt like I've been gone for very long. It feels like it's been one long vacation. I kind of feel like just two people really miss me and everyone else just needs me to come back to do things for them.

What have I learned? That I can actually live on Ramen for a long while. That Laurie and I can make some damn good food. Honestly, I learned that everything depends on who you know. However, you can also not get things if you rub people the wrong way, have someone randomly hate you, and you don't know people. I learned that Illinois seems to go down the shitter once I leave it. I learned that OkCupid is a ridiculous website.

What will I be coming back to? Katie and Carl. And a freshly spruced up Riverfront doing a show that I wish I was doing. A basement full of my stuff that is probably molding by now. The expectation that I will continue to take care of things while everyone else goes out and has fun. More selfish human beings. How about the consideration that I can do whatever I want to put my mind to in the Chicago theater world. That can be something I work on.

And the most important question: Have I eaten yet? No. I haven't. It's almost 11:30 and I haven't eaten a damn thing today. Might explain why I'm in this downer of a mood.

Here's my plan for today: eat (something, anything). Shower (I run around and sweat like a disgusting beast when I'm doing the show. It's hot when the puppeteers do it, it's grody when I do it). Go to some used book stores. The rest will pan out (by that, I mean "the day is probably going to end with me on the couch and finishing Season 1 of Golden Girls)

I need to figure out what I do with my next month here. I haven't auditioned for anything yet. I haven't gone to any more museums. I haven't gone on any more dates.

Have any suggestions for me? Have any questions I need to answer?