"He loves me, he loves me not⦠oh."
"She loves me, she loves me not⦠oh."
"I donāt think itās loveā¦"
"So, is there anyone youāre secretly crushing on?"
"I donāt even like chocolate."
"Yeah, nothing says āI love youā more than a bouquet thatāll die in two daysā¦"
"Iām not sure if theyāre a secret admirer or a stalker⦠but at least they have good taste in gifts."
"Oh! Itās my favourite time of year."
"If I send a mass text to all the people I like, I donāt need to get all of them gifts do I?"
"Iāve never had a Valentine."
"Will you be my Valentine?"
"Do you have a Valentine yet?"
"No one ever serenades me any more."
"Just donāt write a song and play it in front of everyone again⦠itās embarrassing."
"Oh, so youāre my secret admirer?"
"I may have been admiring you not so secretly."
"Just because you like me doesnāt mean the feeling is mutual."
"Seeing as weāve both not got anyone, do you want to come to mine and watch a film?
"Weāre never getting back together."
"So, he got me a teddy bear, but we fought and he tore off itās head."
"How about instead of being ridiculous on one day of the year, you just be a decent partner for the other 364 days?!"
"Weāre not together any more."
"If you havenāt booked a table we definitely wonāt get to eat there on such short notice."
"Itās just Valentineās day⦠I donāt see the big deal."
"What do you mean you didnāt get me anything?"
"Iām feeling sick, is it okay if we arrange our date for another night?"
"Iām not sure if theyāre a secret admirer or a stalkerā¦."
"Well⦠they donāt know Iām going out with you so weāre going to have a girls night sitting in and cry about being singleā¦"
"Iāve got the lube and strawberries, weāre all set!"
"I got out the whipped cream and she slammed the door in my face."
"When he said he would give me a pearl necklace, I thought I was getting actual jewelry."
"It would have been a lot more romantic if you de-thorned the rose before you put it in your mouthā¦"
"Iām all for dressing up⦠but, how do you wear this?"
"If I see another couple holding hands, Iāll⦠Iāll-"
"Young love, isnāt it sweet?"
"Who did you get all these roses for?"
"I donāt love you, Iām just here for the chocolate."
"So, let me get this right, you want me to be a stand in to make the person you like jealous?"
"Thatās the least romantic thing anyone has ever said to meā¦"
"What are you doing? Why are you on one knee? Get up! Get up!"
"My mum gave me a rose because she felt sorry for me."
"Look, you can buy me all the chocolates in the world, I still wonāt go out with you."
"A diamond ring? I appreciate the offer⦠but donāt you think this is a bit⦠excessive?"