me: *craves love*
also me : loving me is impossible, don't even try it, even if you tell me you do i won't believe it

Andulka

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Today's Document
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i don't do bad sauce passes
YOU ARE THE REASON

if i look back, i am lost
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KIROKAZE
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blake kathryn

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@forgetthisforever
me: *craves love*
also me : loving me is impossible, don't even try it, even if you tell me you do i won't believe it
i become the exact opposite of who im supposed to be with you
i relive it over and over, play back again what i could've said differently. but its over now. over a long time now.
i want to go home, just for a moment.
back in the safety of scarcity.
the worst and best thing to happen to me, all at once.
i will never allow someone to love my tears again
i just want a little more time, i promise it won't be forever, just a couple of hours. just a few minutes.
i dream of him every night and its hard to say whether i look forward to sleeping or not sometimes.
lord just give me one more day im begging i just need him to kiss my face and tell me its going to be okay
oh its not fair its not fair i know i didnt appreciate it enough when i had it
i want my family back. how could i allow that to be taken from me
how come you get a family and i am alone?
i really do not expect everyone to get my pronouns right every single time bc i present myself in an extremely feminine way and i look like a woman for the most part but goddamn you would think the ones closest to you could just put a little respect on the pronouns.
it is worse at night
i know it is better this way but how can it be better if it hurts so bad
because i miss him and i think i always will. but i do not miss the pain and guilt and shame.
those last few months were so agonizing i cannot tell anyone how much relief i felt when it was over but i still feel so sick about it i just cant seem to wrap my head around how things worked out