demon psychiatryczny mowi ze mam schodzic ze stabilizatorow i isc wyzej ze stymulantami XDDD okej ja kocham medikinet moglabym go wpierdalac non stop ale zeby schodzic ze stabilizatorow…? ostatnio sie za dobrze nie skonczylo tzn jestem zadowolona ze wiecej stymulantow bo je kocham i jestem od nich uzalezniona plus nie chce mi sie po nich wgl jesc ale z obiektywnego punktu widzenia ta baba chb chce mnie wykonczyc 😨😨
I’ve been seeing a lot of the same people liking all of my posts so I just wanna say: I PROMISE IM OKAY AND SAFE RN! Just in case anyone was wondering cuz my recent posts have been pretty up and down and a bit heavy.
I’ve been feeling SO angsty and my emotions have been so out of control lately cuz of my audhd and all that other shit so like I’ve been impulse posting random things and lowkey wishing death on literally everyone I know but like I SWEAR EVERYTHING IS CHILL RN
I have been dealing with a lot of nausea and gross anxiety lately because I experience extreme misanthropy and the thought of people literally makes me feel sick so obviously things are super heavy and hard rn but I’m okay.
So my family is very anti-everything, like racist and homophobic and transphobic and ableist. That is SOOO hard to live with as a lesbian with mental disabilities who actually has an ounce of basic respect.
ANYWAYS angsty posts might end soon cuz I’m going home from my holiday and I have the chance to be by myself and figure some shit outtttttt
IM SO SAD THO CUZ I DONT WANNA LEAVE THE SEAAAA but oh well lol CANT WAIT TO BE HOME WITH MY PUPPIESSSS <3
Too disabled to make most of the Black Butler (and most series generally) posts I want to make so I’m doing a reaction /review of the latest gayest chapter (not anymore) while stuck just around: it will be unfunny either way and that’s the way-
How I’m feeling most days (there's also sweat from sleeping). All the liquid comes from all the water I'm forced to drink.
No God, when was the last time I did a live reaction anything? It’s just Noelle this time too. Like my other ones it’s either gonna be two sentences or a long ass dump. I have bowel issues and a way of issues with words. IF ANOTHER CHAPTER HAS ALREADY RELEASED DON’T SPOIL ME though I’m not going to be actively keeping up with the series (or anything.) This took weeks by the way if not a month-months/? LMAO
Sebas in the new chapter said my response best/j
Actually I thought this panel was of Sebastian when I initially saw it.
-Sebastian where are you looking. Come on, like IT isn’t already obvious. Having to be dabbing at your mouth too. I mean, fandom Usagi is actually literally you. Also you’re queer as hell my guy. Real devil’s dyke. Everybody in hotel will be making the homophobic dog face by this arc‘s end. Yeah, no preference in human ‘food’ sure bud. The ingredient thing better not be referencing memories because that’s bringing us way too close to the anime for my tastes. Speaking of mine, Sebastian’s hair throughout this chapter should look as grimy as it does on the cover page. Actually, throughout the whole series he should’ve had his hair in a similar style and shape to this . I need him always with incomprehensible unhinged hair I don’t care if it goes against the aesthetic. This shapeshifting slur can’t fix it and doesn’t deserve to. He deserves hair like - (that fucker solely points in one direction).
-- People CAN’T be agreeing with Francis about the bangs.
-- Average Chinese American food fan (like meeereeee-) *we are every autism stereotype*
-I actually like Sebastian best when he’s drawn like this in less detail especially in less detail than others.
-I can’t stand these two. At least attempt at a proper disguise at some point! I know you guys can do it from the previous arcs. Sebastian should be in a skirt, it’s his turn cowards! Or maybe Yana is one.
-Was half expecting after Ciel admitted his surprise over Sebastian being able to eat human foods to have a cut to Sebastian getting incredibly sick in the bathroom. I feel like throwing up reading and reacting to chapters so it’s only fair. Yana please Sebastian is my ARFID representation.
-Or maybe Sebastian has been having Ebina level stomach pangs and anything helps.
-Wait, are the hotel trying to make Sebastian throw up? Potentially get Seal’s soul out? Has Sebastian been living off that soul-his-all this time? We never got confirmation Sebastian actually ate it just that it was taken. We don’t even know if Sebastian specifically needs an entry free or it’s a general assumed thing for at least demons .Wait, that’s just a CSM plot point. I mean, Undertaker is trying to get Sebastian to choose between his previous and current contractor but Sebastian is going to pull a Denji and pick both. He’s the one who really forms the contract frame after all and how its contents are interpreted. It isn’t his first rodeo but it’s the first time he’s been off the high horse. Sebastian is like Denji, more comfortable when being used or controlled as it’s how he’s lived for the majority of his life And finally getting to the question if Sebastian is generally consuming souls or keeping them within his being -can they just be kept eternally inside and if so are they suspended?- or fusing with them or ‘putting’ them elsewhere
-Sebastian please don’t have your Denji moment.
-Sebastian please have your Denji moment.
-NGL I saw the first chapter panel out of context and thought it was Modri complimenting Sebastian and the trio would be forced to sit and to have a meal together. Forced facade of civility to their violence true rich people style.
-Legitimately thought it would be like this (Sebastian didn't even name himself WHEEZEO)
Actually Sebas and Modri should've been </3
-Like Yana would give us that much. She knows her engagement primarily comes from people seeking Dadbastian and general yaoi so she’s been event edging us for literal chapters. Event horizon edging. Existential meta wall edging.
-I mean, if the chapters are going to be so slow then linger. Focus on the elements, on objects of importance, on seemingly random aspects, on expressions a Vanitas No Carte and CSM (I also love to critique them both a beautiful nothing love <3).
-The characters better be feeling this ouborous of events. This dragging like doom. Nobody’s good for anyone here and no true change can happen within those walls and even if Yana isn’t aware or it’s not from her it's intentional.
-Somebody feed these guys catnip (me too my cats hog it all.)
-Or food fight! Food fight! Wait, with the importance Sebastian puts on food would he find them disrespectful or…
-Imagine if Sebastian ate the way Fami does and just a bunch of birds burst in to pick at the plates for him. He’s a crow and raven guy both let’s stop the separation of avians. This goes for souls too; instead of him leaning close to Ciel to eat soul suddenly a flock of beasts this time of all varieties (especially the ones Ciel saw when they met) descend upon him like the very earth is already trying to get from him his remaining worth. I NEED the Fami shitting joke to be stolen for Sebastian immediately. Uh Csm spoilers I guess (JUST realizing this now?!!)
-Look, if I had a knick every time I got sliding-in-attached to a series centered around conceptual devils which had themes of classism, government corruption, and abuse especially of minors I’d have at least two which is odd but wow it happened twice.
-Actually my ideal ending is to have Sebastian be eaten and carried on by Ciel and co not the other way around. That’s the reason for this meal scene to me this is certain foreshadowing and definitely not me seeing in shadows again.
-How I was also hoping the King Bear’s Prostitute would show up again. Sebastian needs more, especially human, friends.
-Maybe if Sebastian interacted with more people that didn’t want to harm him then he wouldn’t be so eager to eat your soul Ciel (victimblaming).
-Maybe if Sebastian was allowed to be silly then he wouldn’t be so eager to eat your soul Ciel (victimblaming).
-Maybe if Sebastian got more then a couple hours of sleep he wouldn’t be so eager to eat your soul Ciel (like he sleeps) (victimblaming).
--
I want to see Sebastian as the one tucked into bed for once and he’s in this. Koupen chan looking Miku mofo. Look I got a Miku Ita hoodie (which I've already slept in) I'm excited (don't think I can afford the pajama pair in the photo though).
- Maybe if Sebastian was allowed to say his catchphrase whenever and how much he wanted then he wouldn’t be so eager to eat your soul Ciel (victimblaming).
-I NEED to know the ratio of contracts done to contracts considered successful. Ciel I’m so sorry but you definitely got a bad deal. Sebastian at least had one contract screwed up before because he saved a cat over his contractor. But since his current contractor is often a cat to him…
The moment Sebastian Michaelis was born
-We need that scene in Knights of Genevieve where Gen gets organs ripped out by that kid between Ciel and Sebastian. Sebastian is the male defanged of that. I haven’t seen the series. Stop talking about it to me. I don’t trust Dana Terrace’s work after the Owl House. Sebastian and Ciel’s relationship is metaphorical Fight Club.
-Yana and co are great at location design truly. The hotel is the sort of place that’s really tasteless and ugly but in the way rich people like.
-It’s so white there that Ciel and Sebastian don’t even have to burn the place down to destroy the hotel. They just need to play some jazz or something. End the story early guys! Recognize the narratives you are in and break them! Sebastian, tapdance on the piano and everyone, scream your lungs out! Stop the cycle! Step beyond your roles! Bring that King of Swing!
-Sometimes looking at the series as an overall whole if at points Sebastian isn’t actually Sebastian or is just less of Sebastian and whoever was before and also more so the part of him that represents the darkness present in the story, the death that haunts it, takes over his current character. And he just ends up acting as what is needed to highlight a point or even as the narrative itself. He is a device for Ciel yes but also a device for the plot too and that can put his usage by Ciel at a contrast from Red Butler to Green Witch. Of course that’s assuming there was anything before and that there was an evolving idea. Like he doesn’t properly exist outside of contracts and their bounds and memories. What outside it sort of fades and blurs and is put on the back burner until its inflamed. “I barely remember me facts so how am I supposed to know about all of you?” It's really how despite his slights and complaints Sebastian always relents almost blankly in the end. At least he has awareness…of the contract…nothing else. Sorry I love making metas about meta. In fact, I want to view from the meta lens solely or likely just the lens of me and the timeless tendency of identity. Make a meta of me. Out of me. Make me into one. The SUn.
-How I’ve seen the Skinamarink creature described: What it literally is is what it's meant to represent. The narrative created in crisis which became reality.
- No, draw that demiurge like the utter freak that he is. Don’t you dare tone this down. If I’m not more uncomfortable than with Lord Baron-though for different reasons- I’ll want the playing table back. This place has to be so bad Ciel becomes a socialist afterwards. The isolated hotel should be the campiest location and lifeblood yet (probably a pun.)
-Ok but reapers have always been acting like lower level demiurges and Modri also has been doing that. His cross thing likely being a reaper scythe to take Sebastian out with is just another tie in to this. (I’m someone who sees Jungian Theory as a philosophy and not a psychology that says it about me. )
-Speaking of- well, we don’t know what Modri is. I can’t wait to find out if Modri is pride month emo or pride month demon.
-
It looks familiar here he reminds me in some way but I can’t remember. The fact one of his eyes is out frame is intentional for
-Yana really drew Modri with yaoi hands in his first reintroduction panel. If Modri was a previous contractor of Sebastian is that what he contracted Sebastian for?
-Damn, his bags are longer than his lashes. Modri try to not look like the type of guy who’d say “Eureka!” While climaxing after pounding into a guy. (Jorah next time you want to add your opinion actually come and share your opinion).
-Darn wait, those shoes are pretty.
So you can character design Yana. Honestly surprised you saved it for Mori. Nice Mary Janes. THE Catholic school shoes as if the religious trauma wasn’t already obvious. Modri is my broad back and slight shape brother. SebModri and I, Critical Role haters.
-Harping like a harpy and an instrument, Sebastian’s design, AGAIN, on the other hand…
--oh if only Yana did a wettbewerberrr like design and made his outfits chess centered/collaborated. Maybe for a couple other characters as well such as Madame Red. For someone who adores him you don’t give him much, do you?
--I don’t care if the same face manifestation was an accident Yana. I don’t need it to mean anything substantial in universe I just need it acknowledged clearly in universe.
-You know how people say Denji should start avoiding women for his safety? I’m saying that for Sebastian but for overall men especially white haired ones. Of course separately there’s also Grell our trans girl femcel and Ashgelina who’s bigender to me. Reapers and bizarre dolls and anyone associated with the Church oh my. This poor guy.
--This is like the majority of Sebastian’s interactions in the series at least by this point:
He's just an (evil) guy </3
-Ahhh, I truly love Sebastian because he is the type of person to have been tortured and still think bullying is worse.
--Love even more how Sebmodri is staring each other down like this (yes I found this while doing colorblind research for myself what of it):
-Great that Ciel seeing what would’ve happened if his parents had lived through SebModri (metaphorical to literal eternal divorce). Modri’s really acting like he’s in IKEA and he and Sebastian ARE a toxic couple.
--Every SebModri meeting so far is basically that meme about a person on the subway yelling “nothing is real!” Until locking eyes on the poster and yelling “Gay!” Modri is really desperate to come out to like anyone and force Sebastian to come out too.
-Sebastian is waiting for the perfect time to crash out about Agni, which is what separates him from Modri who’s doing it at whatever opportunity. The difference truly is presentation and stage location. So tragic this difference caused their aromantic non aromatic smelly like us imaginary divorce </3
-Even when mad Modri makes everything sound so dutiful and enchanted. I’m sorry honeycomb.
--Sebastian’s natural cuntiness (attitude only) is getting in the way of him holding a conversation again. How’d that go with Agni, huh?
-
I wonder if the blood is influencing Modri to act in some way like a stimulant. Or maybe he’s possessed by a bunch of souls inside acting like a vessel for them unlike a demon which I initially considered (more for fun.) Being a “butler even in death” could be meant in the sense “even to those already in death I will act as a butler for them and carry out their wishes”. An almost universal butler acting for the sake of others like how some would label those especially helpful like guardian angels. The association with a specific job definitely ties back to the class aspect. Imagine if Snake’s soul just came in. Or one of the maids from the manor maybe recognizing Beast on Sebastian and what he did. Sadly I think Beast herself is well long gone with soul collected and the rest of her exploded all over. Maybe the souls are related to Sebastian in some way either ones he tried and failed to consume or maybe those who knew people who souls Sebastian consumed. More importantly, Sebastian a please call out people’s speciesm eventually it’s getting too much to watch. Yes, out of everything. "Not in front of the kid” should apply to also this not just fighting. That’s really the pose he is doing.
--
Kinda cool panel made by cutting off. Anyway I agree with your reaction Denji. And phone you better be agreeing with me and have Sebastian to be the one that you are identifying as Denji. Or else you’re getting character analysis lessons from Jorah again. For context the majority stuff of my phone is for future art projects yes including and especially for tumblr
-?-
Modri looks remind me of this guy all saying on- wait now look at it it looks like trans masc reze too ~°ﾟº❍｡wait ~
- Modri’s really saying “ get a job, get away from that kid who’s neurodivergent and a minor with no autonomy and awareness of his own clearly” patronization in both the viewing of those he claims to want to help and also in himself but through the methodology of sainthood.
--Sebastian and Modri will raise the Fumikolings together trust. I bet they’re partial to the blue ones like I am.
-I know Sebastian was shock pogging over Ciel actually saying something non negative about him. Sebastian spinning like this in the corner. Does the room have corners? Fuck it, I want intentional horror through architecture DESIGN.
-Both look so much like Modri here it’s hilarious:
-I know I sound like Danny Motta levels of Sebastian apologism but SPRAY SEA BOTTLE BAD CIEL!!! You couldn’t be sincere for five seconds?!!! I was so proud of you! Honestly I thought there’d be something more substantive (also in general chaptering and charting) but I’m just starving again. How does Sebastian do this?
-I mistook Sebastian at the start as being like Anoko but I was wrong. Anoko is Ciel and Sebastian is Stronger Hachiware. I just hope the Dekatsuyo and Momonga interaction is as dramatic as all this. Just be glad you didn’t have your fur out Sebas. Same when tea was poured on your hands.
-Yeah Modri, don’t you know? He’s only the second worst thing to happen to that orphan.
-Baby Hachiware looks how Vincent would as an infant.
-These three truly are the sardonic ironics before those terms caught on.
-Let SebModri ride the carousel together while Ciel is having the time of his life watching them and laughing before he is also forced on.
-What if Sebastian wasn’t shifting between animals in that scene (though the idea is cool to me that since humans are animals Sebastian was trying to remember what the specific type of animal he was conversing with generally as a species looked like) but was rather Ciel just identifying incomprehensible features and traits with whatever little he had as a reference. The octopus is most noticeable (not just because of Yoshida) but because the Deep Sea and its creatures are often associated and incorporated into Eldritch Horror. Anyway I believe in carousel horse Sebastian this arc (shout out to my carousel horse otherkins) and I hope we only even see portions of Sebastian’s other forms if not just shadows and traces of it. I don’t believe in something as linear as a ‘true one’ even if there is a base form. For anyone.
-If Sebastian is ever shown flying I want it to be like this just to spite expectations. That’s how you do it Toby.
-Sebastian is someone with a devil in his stomach and one in his heart. Modri is someone who has a devil within those places and his mouth. Ciel is someone who stands with devils and through them. Hope they’re a messier found family then even Undertaker and Seal is.
-Mentioning of, Undertaker is Sebastian if he didn’t have his contracts. Modri is Sebastian if he had an unsatisfying contract end like he almost did in Green Witch. Sebastian knows but he isn’t aware that he knows. Undertaker doesn’t know Jack Diedrich shit but knows a lot from what little information he has access to and in.
-There’s this one quote from somewhere that summarizes Modri up well: “they're focused on looking for the worst in benign behaviors and assigning malicious intent to any / every interaction anyone they dislike has ever had.”
-Don’t make the mistake of viewing things through a humanist or a reaping lens like all of them.
-If Bizarre Dolls are meant to represent how devils are in Undertaker’s perspective then are the multiple souls being forced inside them a reflection of what devils can experience with the souls they consume? Like on the lines of Thorns of Death. Again to IT, do souls have to be erased in order to be consumed?
-Oh those hotel staff hoes definitely set this up. (Don’t worry we love Minecraft here as a non gamer.) That doesn’t even make them specifically suspicious as the majority of those I’ve met would do something like this if given the opportunity. SebModri really is ‘you can’t stop running into your ex’ but manufactured. Also there’s a lost kid here, probably belongs to the staff. Someone needs to undrop him off- pick him up I guess. Cat scruff style only obviously.
-I was bracing to see the other prefects as staff of the place since they have nowhere to go and no way to sustain themselves besides their selves. Though character wise I only really care about you Gregory please.
-“Life isn't that simple. People aren't that simple. You can't cut them into slices like a cake, then throw away the bits you don't like.” That dork demiurge really just said to Modri. Like he and the rest of the staff earlier weren’t all about Sebastian “ it’s like they’re wearing a lie but it doesn’t fit them.”
--Quotes from - where finally know its home (and it’s home)- childhood book Cuckoo Song. All this was an excuse to recommend it to you to read either instead or alongside. “I hate you! You stupid . . . Why did you have to happen? I never asked for a stupid . . . stupid . . . toothy . . . stupid . . . monster thing.” Yes, I’m giving you lots of supplemental media material (including my own) with this chapter. It’ll be more context then whatever you’ll get for the rest of this arc promise/fond. Don't worry I won't test you later/gen.
-Not going to lie expecting the smoke room to be one discernible couch with something blurring everything else out and then shadowy figures would position themselves to whoever sat their to drop on information about whatever they found amusing to try to get a reaction. Maybe stealing a memory if they feel they need more payment and entertainment. Basically the regular trip experience. You would know what you’d come to know.
-A place for Sebastian where he’s forced to not tell lies outside of his own body. That Demiurge better do a FunnyGames with this place.
-Going to tell the truth I also thought the smoking room at first appearance had an almost certain chance of just being the place where the poors are pit against each other out of the general rich person’s eye so nobody would be ‘forced to see the barbarity of’ but if rich people wanted entertainment they could seek the sight out.
-Next chapter we should get a first person audience POV where we get to sit in the circle and with all the other people in the room we’re forced to watch the SebModri interaction play out with no way into their thinking and no way to tell how authentic it all is.
-Immediately too many white people present which is true to hotels.
-Everyone looks like the horses from horse race test and not even the fun nightmare versions or the colorblind friendly ones.
-I can’t wait to have a colored spread and see all the characters be given the worst palettes ever seen.
-In seriousness though, I feel like a lot of Yana’s designs involve taking parts from other characters’ designs to mix and end up mashing them together especially when they’re of the same sex. Irina looks like Beast, Irene, Rachel, and the King’s Bear Prostitute in a cast first stone soup. Irina, you are not Madame Archivste quit trying.
-And the older guy present looks like Sebastian with Abberline’s mustache. ( Maybe he’s the older brother of Abberline the Kuroshitsuji anime a premonition again?!!)
--Actually that guy looks like a young Cab Calloway. Yana hasn’t disrespected any real life figures or events lately she must be itching. Not like she cares for historical accuracy either.
-I was gonna make a post critiquing the likes of Joanna and how Yana did minor side characters with way less screentime better in establishing identity such as the Kings Bear Prostitute but now I’m doubting it with how badly she’s been consistently with all these side and minor characters since the manor was left. This is Seal’s fault, the moment he went from a theory and a memory to a character most the others’ were stripped away of their given life.
--Of course I still am making that post just legitimately give me like five years.
-Ariel’s actor looks nothing like Soma or Nina though I think some of ya’ll are just racist.
--Side tangent (this whole post is) on the most underrated play and play performances of all time, I’ve rarely come across a version of The Tempest that has Ariel use she/her pronouns especially when Prospero is referred to with he/him pronouns. ( Personally I believe any pronoun selection for Ariel works but think Prospero being referred to with he/him is essential to his character and its symbolism.) I first saw the shots out of context - which is often how I find out a new chapter drops- and I thought out of nowhere Ciel used she/her for Ariel, indirectly using she/her for Sebastian in the process. Projecting the likes of Angelina, Grell, and Sullivan’s mom onto him. Hmm why is a young dark skinned woman being shown as an old white man’s forced servant… damn I’m missing Mina.
-I would complain about ALL the other guests contributing themselves but only to the setting. But I’m also just focused on the hypotheticals so...
-Also don’t want lame ass already introduced cast. Keeping adding more and more people until seems like a mixed game chessboard. Anarchy chess with other game aspects rules pieces put it. Why else do a new aspect character every couple chapters for the last whatever if not going to be more wild with it. Don’t start to take them all seriously after all this time to.
-Everyone’s waiting for Soma or whoever to appear I want Gregory Violet and Blavat (show the latter as Samaria’s moonscorched form.)
-But with Soma’s whole shift and Agni’s whole character and with how the closest to certain religious and also supernatural presence ( non manufactured anyway) those devout worshippers and practitioners I’m suspecting that the supernatural, divine, general occult, and otherwise were manifested into existence through the beliefs of humans. (I think there exists a specific term for this belief but I haven’t been able to locate it. I’m not getting into scripture and the occult again for Black Butler.) The only magic Sullivan is chaos magick. The only mother mythical 'universal' figure the is Jungian Real. Not buying demons are the only beings who subsist and perform consumption on portions of humans like souls by the way.
-Also I’m less worried about revenges than what’s happening to the cats that lie around the manor ground. Or what about the farmers who come to visit? How is Ciel ever going to get proper sleep without his pillow?
-Oh no, this is becoming a mix of a sleepover and Squid games.
--Come on Sebastian! Show how you’ve grown from the circus and Green Witch! Don’t kiss Modri unless he wants it.
-- What if Sebastian is forced to confess in the game to what he did either in Green Witch or the Circus?
-- Imagine if people try to pressure and prod at Sebastian and he just… throws up then. On them.
-To-rarely-be serious, if the duo are forced to ask and answer each other's questions, Sebastian should ask Modri if he’s going to be killed by him. Or if he killed Agni. Or outright what their connection is. I mean, the thing is Sebastian doesn’t just want to know what Modri’s deal is but what his own deal is and was.
-Really worried the SebModri duo will have a Yoshiden ending. Though it’s darkly funny the idea of Undertaker potentially reviving Modri only to kill him to fuck with Sebastian. If true then RIP my dude you would’ve love Landmineblr. Why are all the devil based series kicking my ass lately? They’re the same in a way. Yeah, unnecessary comparisons are kind of my thing. This is ModriSeb and PolarisModri to me.
-Why did that scene where Modri harms himself in front of Sebastian remind me of that scene where C!Fundy takes one of his lives in front of C!Whim and oh person Baldroy should’ve just been DSMP ending Utah c!Wilbur. I hope me being a DSMP fan explains about all of this. Yana being a DSMP fan would explain everything…
-Or did Yoshiden die so SebModri could live? It’s so not worth it. I wanna reverse it!
-This chapter, no, this whole manga, is making me worse. My thoughts are becoming less organized along with the chapters. Same as you Yana but Yana you ain’t my twin shitbricks. <\3
-Okay supernatural, divine, occult, and otherwise beings at the very least have access to future technology and knowledge. If not being able to travel through time itself. Time sort of alters and corrects itself I assume. Still not the best to mess with major events I bet. I already had a similar sentiment of that idea. I also think there are alternate timelines but specifically from atomic reactions. But, so, if Sebastian dies another one of himself from other timeline will step in to fulfill that promise.
- Damn, the vampirism comparisons for the Dolls don’t stop.
-This chapter with Sebastian eating and his noticeable lack of recollection and connection with his own claimed contracts is only proving my cracked up theory that Sebastian isn’t a demon at least in the traditional sense. Look, if there’s the plot twist that Ciel isn’t ‘Ciel’ then Sebastian has to have his own narrative breaking one and nothing would fit more than the demon butler not actually being a demon. No, there has to be a reason to this. Scraping together more ‘evidence’ and ‘reason’ than a religious person for this.
-Sebastian is a demon like thing similar to how Hachiware is a cat like thing. At least I think? (It’s just Noelle)
- Sebastian is the aesthetic of a demon and what people assume a demon be rather then a ‘proper’ one.
-Sebas a demon in the sense of the word demonizing.
-Sebastian is Creation/Life in the way that timetravelcoolaid describes it until he’s actually put against people who put impossible value into it like Undertaker and Modri. Then he becomes that envisioned Death Ciel and so many others start to crave.
-“He wishes the form he takes is self explanatory to what’s happened to him or who he is, so that there’s an intrinsic line to follow to ensure he lives correctly. “Human” however is very vague in comparison.” Another line from somewhere.
-Imagine if those who became devils were people who were consumed by them.
-Imagine if the personality taken on during the contract is the one the contractor would’ve developed if they hadn’t made the deal.
-Imagine if those who live are only those who would’ve died. At least when death wasn’t once such a certain factor.
-You’ve heard of the Universal Consciousness theory but what about the Universal Contractor (Consciousness) theory?
-It’s funny how before the Bizarre Doll stuff I made separate the concept of ‘blood human’, an almost separate species from humanity tied down to and severely connected by and/ or through blood. Whether through the power of the concept or through a blood pact; a form Faustian contract. It could even lead to the blood to start functioning and acting as an equivalent and even an alternative to other important components of the human being such as the soul.
-And seeing how despite assumedly being soulless him having a cinematic record I called Sebastian a ‘living memory reel and record’ and I still think that somewhat sticks (including with his own memory problems.) And before Sebastian’s revealed role in the memory tree webbing, I wrote him the power of being able to share memories through his blood. Only if tasted. And he has to be focused on that specific memory when it’s being consumed or else what he’ll end up sharing will be unclear with no control over it. -Sebastian often being aware of and having access to memories innately. Not the cinematic records. Never the records. Both personal and communal. Loudly remembered and silently forgotten. Unclear, overwritten, merging, false, doesn’t matter. Contracted and not. Always forced witness. He can feel and taste them and emotions and all the other overlooked components without a need for a vessel. Partially of his own unrecognized compassion and variety sensitivities. Probably a sort of supertaster (probably) like me.
-No of course I don’t have the time or energy to dredge up all my loose, lackadaisical lacking daisies writing.
-Every chapter always leaves me unsatisfied and wanting to be satiated but surely that’s meant to be a reflection on Sebastian’s state so 01/1.0.I will never be this creative again.
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But if Mina or Paula is Polaris Yana I will forgive you for all of this. That would make Agni’s death and the attempted attack on Soma automatically based though. It’s either someone forced into servitude refusing to feel grateful for her position and give into the brainwashing regarding it wanting revenge on the immediate oppressor. Or it’s someone who’s been forced into servitude who was brainwashed into accepting that position finally waking up a portion and attacking the closest oppressor. Also they and Sebastian can finally interact. Yes I think the concept of servants are inherently immoral and having them is an immoral act and manors and mansions shouldn’t exist and no rich people should either. You think about a series centered around at least semi potentially can be seen as metaphorical cannibalism that the statement ‘eat the rich’ wouldn’t be as controversial. I read a fic where Paula hated Our Ciel for his treatment of Lizzy and it changed my brain chemistry since. I swear if I want Paula & Mina and I get people like Fruitt and Nina…
-Already know this arc will end in reconciliation and mutual understanding and Ciel letting Sebastian get a cat proper and Ciel getting a (only small or another borozoi) dog. We only learn of Ciel’s killed name because it’s what he names his new dog. We need more shifty pins-Shitty puns!- so I imagine assigned name for Ciel was just Cielo or something. Like all the Phantomhives really had in them was one name. Their parenting all a one off. Per usual rich people being the most unimaginative ever. Actually importantly I’m betting on a pure black or a tuxedo cat and no not just because I have the latter. I miss Her guys.
A lot of the time I get like personality swings? Like mood swings but I feel like my personality shifts or changes. Idk it’s prolly just a form of mood swing but the punchline is that everytime it happens I make a new account on something
