I Will Always Fight.

Indie Lagertha from History's Vikings. Please read informational pages before interacting!

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I had to dig her up again, but she is not the same.

Open for interactions! Indie Lagertha, written by Sarah, non-selective and always open for new threads :) Please DM me or send an ask/meme if you want to write something!

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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

This blog is now a sideblog to @nctaboutyou! I’m tagging my RP partners here, and so if you get the notification that you have been followed by this account, It’s just me again! I decided to move all of my active RP blogs to the same account, so same mod, same muse, just a different primary blog :) That said, I should have replies coming out within the week! Thank you for your patience, and I look forward to getting back to writing! Skål!

@legacy-of-ragnar @confessionsofamonk @stovmborn @scandinaviangods

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legacy-of-ragnar​:

It almost pained Ragnar to see how similar his life had become compared to Lagertha’s. Except while he got sons, she lost more children. It made his heart ache every time he heard of her loss. He wanted to hold her and tell her that it wasn’t her fault and that she shouldn’t blame herself- but he’d lost that privilege years ago. He was sure she didn’t want him to console her on the very reason he ended up betraying her. It pissed him off knowing that it all came down to sons… not love but sons. 

He only loved Lagertha and even now his heart was bound to her and only her. His sons attempted to find him slaves and escorts to satisfy his needs- but he didn’t have those needs any longer. It’d been what got him in trouble and he didn’t care about the women that were being thrown at him. He didn’t love them and he knew that he’d never love anyone else- so he just gave up on trying to replace the void in his heart that Lagertha filled. 

Ragnar was lost in his thoughts for a couple of moments. He hated himself for the pain he caused her. He tried to make up for that pain by punishing himself and it didn’t work. The Gods clearly had other plans for him and he just had to accept his fate and go with their decisions… whatever they may be. 

The moment she took his hand all of his movements stopped. His knee stilled, his nervous scratching at the table stopped, his back tensed slightly. He glanced over to her his eyes searching her gaze for some sort of reason… had he been annoying her? Or was this something else… considering what they were talking about he couldn’t be too sure. 

He furrowed his brows a bit and looked at her- sudden confusion coming in waves. “You want us to be happy again… I want us to be happy again… are we even on the same page for what that happiness actually is?” he asked staring at her hand on his. “If you are suggesting happy as in allies or friends I don’t think we’ll both be happy. Cause I want more than that,” 

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As much as Ragnar wanted to be there for Lagertha, and as much as he’d believed she wouldn’t want him there, she truly had. No matter whose child it was that she was carrying, no matter who had been there to support her, she’d always wanted it to be Ragnar. He had been her husband for many years, knew her far better than any other person she had ever had a relationship with, and in the end, he was the one she always found herself wishing she had at her side, no matter the circumstance. It was always Ragnar.

And, with each lover she took, at any point in her life, that fact only became more and more clear. She hadn’t counted Sigvard, and had assumed that she missed Ragnar so dearly during that time because they’d separated so recently, and she hated Sigvard so much. But then no lover she took after him, neither Ecbert, nor Kalf, nor Astrid, had made her want Ragnar any less, and in fact, she always only wanted him more.

Of course, he had hurt her in the past. Of course, she had felt the pain of his betrayal, and their separation, every day and night. But that had only made her more certain of what she was suggesting now, of what she was wanting from him now. If she died the next day, she didn’t want it to be without having at least attempted reconciliation with Ragnar.

When he looked up at her, Lagertha only offered him a small smile, her eyes warmer than he might have expected them to be. In some situations, with some people, they might have been annoying her doing what Ragnar had been doing, but they were not Ragnar, and she knew him. She knew why this conversation might lead him to do these things.

“Then we are on the same page about happiness, and what that is,” she said. Lagertha took a deep breath, and released it slowly. “If I am honest, I have not been happy since we went our separate ways. “I loved you, Ragnar Lothbrok, and to be entirely honest? I have never stopped, and I do not think it likely that I ever will.”

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legacy-of-ragnar​:

Ragnar was living a constant battle with his personal life and what the world expected of him. Ragnar never wanted to be a King, despite what people in Kattegat might have said about him. He just wanted to live on the farm that he and Lagertha built, explore the world, and raise his children… and for a while he was getting exactly what he wanted. He would go off on his raids and then return home to his loving wife and children.

Now he couldn’t get what he wanted because it was truly impossible. He wanted to go back to that farm and live out his years- king or not with Lagertha and his children… all of his children- including his sweet deceased daughter, Gyda and his boys with Aslaug. There were obviously a hundred reasons why Ragnar would never get what he wanted… Gyda was dead, Bjorn was a man doing his own thing, his other children barley knew him, the list could go on. 

Ragnar felt the world stall around him… or perhaps maybe he was the one who stalled. The world seemed to continue to move around him, while his life remained stationary. He attempted his own way of freedom and Odin essentially told him to fuck off and sent his crows to laugh and cackle in his face as he realized the Odin didn’t want him in Valhalla yet. There were still things planned for Ragnar Lothbrok- so he threw himself into another voyage… which led him to this moment with Lagertha. 

Ragnar knew that his life would never be what he wanted because what he wanted was impossible. Lagertha would never be the mother of Ubbe, Hvitserk, Sigurd, and Ivar… Gyda would never walk among the living again… and his current mindset still believed it was impossible for Lagertha to ever love him again.

He let his knee start to bounce beneath the table as he waited for her next response. He found himself more and more on edge as they got closer to the topic he feared the most. He assumed the worst only because he didn’t think he deserved that second chance… even though he’d kill for a second chance with her. That conflict in his own mind knowing he’d do anything to get her back… but would probably never feel worthy of her love again. 

His fingers still nervously pried at the wooden table just needing something to do with his hands. “What are you implying? That things cannot possibly end in a way that we are both happy again?” he said started to scratch into the table now. 

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Like Ragnar, Lagertha had never wanted to be Queen. It was something thrust on her, something she knew she had to do. Her people had needed her, and it was never like Lagertha to leave those who needed help on their own. Yes, she’d rather have stayed on the farm with Ragnar and their children, but the Gods had had other plans for herself and for her family. Fate had intervened, and who was she to tell fate no?

They could never go back now, though, and even if Lagertha said she had no regrets, that wasn’t entirely true. She didn’t let herself sit and pour over them, didn’t torture herself with them, but there was truly so much she regretted, so much she would do differently if she could go back. Not that there was much that had happened that was on her, and she wouldn’t have changed how she handled Aslaug’s arrival. But maybe she could have convinced Ragnar to change his mind. Perhaps a compromise could have been reached.

Not that she’d have compromised herself, of course. But she wondered a bit if they couldn’t have come to some agreement, perhaps so that Ragnar had no romantic relationship with Aslaug, but could still have cared for his son Ubbe, and still made sure at least that Aslaug was comfortable, without being unfaithful to his wife, to her. Maybe she should have fought harder to save them, but she hadn’t. She could only hope that there might still be time to fight for them now, even years later.

They could never go back to life on the farm, they had come too far from that, but that was why she did not let herself regret anything. There was no use weeping for the past. Things one regretted, in her opinion, should drive them to change their life in the present. She just had to take her own advice now, it seemed.

Second chances were not something Lagertha gave out easily. But she had once loved Ragnar, and still loved Ragnar, and though she wasn’t in the habit of handing out second chances, denying herself things she wanted, things which would greatly enhance her life. Life was short, and full of pain. Why should she willingly go without things she wanted, if she could have them? Well, things she thought she could have, anyway. And there was only one way to find out.

Lagertha reached a hand out to take one of his in hers, hoping to still him and ease the anxiety she could so easily read in him. “That was not my meaning,” she said. “Actually, it was rather the opposite. I believe we could be happy again, Ragnar. I want us to be.” 

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stovmborn​:

@forkattegxt​  hit  the   ♡   to  this  starter  call. 

 𝐒𝐇𝐄  𝐖𝐀𝐒  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐋  𝐍𝐎𝐖.  and  whilst  many  respected  her,  there  were  still  small  minded  men  who  did  not  believe  that  a  woman  should  rule.  what  they  had  failed  to  remember  however,  was  that  it  had  been  daenerys  stormborn  who  had  saved  their  lives.  it  had  been  her  who  unveiled  viserys’  plans  of  luring  them  across  the  sea  in  a  raid,  only  for  the  soldiers  of  wessex  to  launch  an  attack  and  eliminate  yet  another  army  of  vikings    –––    a  deal  made  with  king  ecbert.  as  a  battle  axe  now  found  itself  within  her  palm,  chair  at  the  head  of  her  great  hall  in  krossavik  without  her  husband  by  her  side  any  longer,  daenerys  knew  that  many  would  threaten  to  take  what  was  hers.  just  as  it  had  once  been  taken  from  her  oceans  away,  her  family  slain  and  her  brother  sent  into  a  madness  that  was  only  akin  to  the  one  her  father  had  become  lost  in.  

 lagertha  had  been  a  name  that  inspired  daenerys,  ever  since  she  was  forced  to  marry  drogo.  and  whilst  he  had  never  liked  his  wife  wielding  a  weapon  and  joining  him  upon  the  battlefield,  the  dragon  knew  that  it  was  her  duty.  here  she  stands  now,  beside  the  woman  that  she  had  looked  up  to  for  so  long,  delicate  digits  running  a  whetstone  along  her  blade  as  she  looks  out  towards  kattegat.  whilst  the  women  were  worlds  apart,  lagertha  wanted  to  reclaim  her  home  from  those  who  had  stolen  it    –––    much  like  daenerys.  soon,  she  would  take  back  the  lands  in  england  that  were  hers  by  birth  right  and  give  her  people  to  opportunity  farm  and  live  in  peace.  but  no  such  thing  would  be  granted  until  kattegat  was  taken  back  and  placed  within  the  hands  it  belonged.  ❝  every  man  should  lose  a  battle  once,  so  that  he  does  not  lose  a  war  when  he  is  old  …  but  we  not  men.  ❞

Lagertha knew first hand how hard it could be to try and run an earldom when a woman’s authority was not respected in the same way a man’s was. She loved her people, and cared deeply for them, but she knew they didn’t treat her the way they had treated Ragnar, nor yet the way they had treated Sigvard or Kalf. Yes, she was loved more than Sigvard had been, but when he left Hedeby no one ever stood against him. The moment she left, Kalf usurped her. It made her sometimes wonder if it was better to be feared than to be loved, as certainly her people had loved her, but not feared her enough to stand up to Kalf. That, or they had not loved her enough. She couldn’t say. But whatever had happened, Lagertha could say with near perfect certainty that none of it would have happened, had she been a man.

Now, sitting beside this new Earl, another woman, she found that there was a different sort of peace she felt. Perhaps things were beginning to change. It would bring Lagertha great joy and happiness to see this was so. And Daenerys was a powerful woman, that much she could tell. Her words brought forth a thoughtful hum from Lagertha, who sat sharpening a battle axe. She looked up and over at Daenerys for a moment, thinking over her response before she gave it. After all, when guiding someone younger than herself, she didn’t want to steer her wrong. It was the part of her which was still, and would always be, a mother. She couldn’t help herself, it seemed. “This is true,” she agreed, “but there is still much to be learned from defeat, so long as you do not lose your life. Our mistakes are no more than lessons the gods know we must learn.”

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legacy-of-ragnar​:

He was proud of everything that Lagertha had accomplished since she left him. When he found out she was Earl he wanted to give up his Kingship and crawl back to her. He wanted to apologize and beg for her forgiveness… though at that time she’d moved on. He didn’t want to grovel at her feet and make things awkward for her if she moved on and was happy- so he held back. 

He found himself holding back nearly every time he was with Lagertha now. He couldn’t lie to himself anymore- he was still in love with her. He wanted to run off to their farm and never leave again. He wanted to just disappear with her and make up for the years he’d left her alone, for all the pain he’d caused her to go through both during and after he’d ruined everything. 

Ragnar held a lot of regrets, he tried to forgive and forget but his guilt was too much for him at times. He felt as if he wasn’t moving forward in life anymore- everything had just stopped for him. His children were grown and didn’t need him anymore but it wasn’t like he was fully present for them in the first place, another regret that he had. 

He wished that he could be better to his children. He wished that he could go back in time and be there to actually raise them… but he couldn’t. He could only move forward and instead of trying to rekindle those relationships- he was throwing himself into another battle. Putting himself in danger in hopes of fighting honorably enough to make it to Valhalla- though he wasn’t entirely sure if Odin would want him by his side any longer. 

He’d danced on the line between religions, he’d betrayed his wife, and failed his children. He hoped Odin would understand - but he couldn’t be sure. There were murmurings of Christian beliefs coming to him in Athelstan’s voice. He wanted to right his wrongs- but he wasn’t sure the first step. He wasn’t sure if it would work, or if it would make him look weak. These were the things he’d needed Lagertha on- she was always so smart and perceptive of every situation. She always knew what to say… always knew how to guide him to the right decisions. 

He closed his eyes and sighed heavily as he pushed himself to sit up and look towards her. “We cannot change the past or live in the past… we would have been happier- but we aren’t now.” he said flatly slightly digging his fingernails into the wooden table, just to occupy his hands. His eyes now focused on the table instead of her.

@forkattegxt

In truth, Lagertha hadn’t... quite moved on in the way Ragnar might have expected. She had pushed forward in her life and in her ambitions, but she had not, so much, moved on in her heart. There, she still longed for him, and wished it were him at her side each night, even as she had indulged that relationship with Kalf. Sigvard had been right when he said she was still in love with Ragnar, and that fact had never changed.

She remembered clearly the time she’d believed he was gone, everything she’d wished she had said. No, it wasn’t true that Lagertha had no regrets. When she thought Ragnar was dead, she regretted everything she never said. She regretted never telling him until she believed he had gone to Valhalla. Now... she wondered what he would think if she finally made those confessions.

Her life was still moving forward, of course, but sometimes she really wished- no, usually she really wished- that Ragnar were still at her side. Then they could celebrate their triumphs together, they could move forward together, just as they once had when he became Earl of Kattegat. She would have happily faced anything which came after at his side.

Of course, that would then raise the question of what would be of his other sons. In her own idyllic world, Lagertha would have given them to him. The Sons of Ragnar would have also been the Sons of Lagertha, and she liked them all well enough- despite the fact they didn’t all like her- that she’d have been happy with that. They could have all grown up and been trained by herself and Ragnar, and they could have gone into battle together, just as they did with Bjorn.

Lagertha had full faith that they would be together again in Valhalla, anyhow. All the pains of Midgard would be undone there, and they would drink together, fight together, and love each other once more, just as they had back on their farm, before they went against Earl Haraldson and everything changed. If she’d known about Ragnar’s confliction within himself about this fact, likely she would have reassured him of her own beliefs. Odin, she did not think, would not drop Ragnar because of conflict. If anything, she would find it brave of Ragnar to question, and Odin himself sought knowledge. What greater motivator to learn was there than conflict?

His words earned a thoughtful hum from her as she watched his movements, the nervous way his hands played with the table. “This is... all true,” she conceded. “But I do not think we cannot be happy again.” Perhaps it was a risk she was taking, in beginning to breech this topic, but she couldn’t let it go now. She couldn’t have these regrets again.

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legacy-of-ragnar​:

Ragnar felt as if he were just stumbling through life after Lagertha and Bjorn left. He hardly knew Aslaug and the rest of Kattegat passed obvious judgements. Ragnar was glad that the judgements were mostly quiet because he was sure he would have harmed someone if they said anything to his face. He knew he screwed up… he had the constant reminder of his screw up living in the place that Lagertha should have been. The only saving grace was Ubbe. He spent a lot of time with his newborn son because he was just a baby- he didn’t see Ragnar as a horrible person… he only saw his father. Though he couldn’t help but compare every moment with Ubbe to his moments with Bjorn and Gyda. 

When his first two children were born- Lagertha and Ragnar did everything together to raise them. With Ubbe it felt as if he had two separate parents that both loved him but he rarely had those ‘family’ moments with Aslaug. He tried to rebuild that family connection with Aslaug because she didn’t deserve his absent-ness. However, Hvitserk, Sigurd, and Ivar came and that family connection was still lacking. He loved his children and he hoped they knew that- but Aslaug had to know he didn’t feel the same for her. 

He hated himself for what he’d done to Ivar and for weeks afterwards he dealt with the horrible guilt. All he wanted was Lagertha to talk to him and tell him he wasn’t a horrible father… but there was no question that he was. He was absent emotionally and physically and he it made him sick to his stomach when he’d think that over. His sons were now men and they did not need him any longer, he could try to rekindle relationships but there were some he’d never be able to fix. He’d never right things with Sigurd or Gyda… though it gave him a slight sense of relief knowing that Gyda knew him as a good father. He only wished he could have held her in his arms when she was scared. 

He was trying desperately to find home again- because now he wasn’t sure where that was. He found himself spending many nights alone on their farm because he hated that it was going to waste- they’d spent so long building it and thinking of their future… and he’d been the one to ruin it. 

Her touch would always bring him peace of mind and comfort. Even now years later he still felt more comfortable with her by his side on what could be his last night in Midgard than he ever did with Aslaug and that brought a level of sadness to him. 

Her words broke his heart all over again. He wondered if this was the Gods trying to give him a sign. He took a long deep breath and closed his eyes and let his hands run over his face. “We should have never left.” he agreed. “I’m sorry for ruining what we had… if I’m being truthful nothing’s been right since that day.”

@forkattegxt

Lagertha had had much to accomplish after she’d left Ragnar. Surviving an abusive marriage had been the first on that list, and then it had been ruling Hedeby, regaining Hedeby... There was so much constantly on her mind, she couldn’t stumble through life. But, looking back, she’d always taken on more than she should have been advised to do when things became painful. It was how she’d come to cope with things. If she couldn’t stop to think, she didn’t have time to hurt. She liked it that way. It wasn’t healthy, not really, she didn’t think, but how unhealthy could something really be if it made things easier? And who knew? Maybe it was more healthy to keep occupied, as opposed to letting yourself ache for days and days on end.

At least, that’s what made sense to her. It didn’t stop her from seeing Ragnar’s new family each time she came to Kattegat, didn’t stop her then from thinking about what it would have been like if she had given him all those children. She’d think about the family they had once had, in those times. Especially once they had moved to Kattegat, they’d have had room for all those boys, just as he’d had room for them with Aslaug. It hurt to think that she had been unable to have that life with him, that that hadn’t been their fate.

But she knew it wouldn’t help to regret anything, even if she still had many regrets. She couldn’t regret his sons being born. Perhaps they had come from what could be called a mistake, but she was certain Ragnar must have loved those boys. She knew how much he loved Bjorn, how much he had loved Gyda, and if he hadn’t changed overly much, he would love his sons with Aslaug just as much, she figured. And they deserved that. What happened with Aslaug was not their fault. No part of Lagertha blamed those boys for what their father had done. The fault rested squarely on his shoulders- and perhaps also on Aslaug’s, if the tales of her being a witch were true. Which, oftentimes, Lagertha was prone to believe they may have been.

The Seer had, after all, warned Lagertha that Ragnar was in danger from the magical world. If this was true, and his relationship with Aslaug had begun on the very trip the Seer had given her that warning about... There weren’t very many conclusions Lagertha knew to conclude, other than that one.

Still, Lagertha loved Ragnar to this day. Years ago on their farm, he’d told her he’d had a dream that she fed him blood pudding. When she’d asked what it meant, he’d answered that it meant she had given him her heart. Even now, his dream was still true.

She gave a thoughtful hum, and nodded slowly. “You’re right,” she agreed, never one to sugarcoat anything. “There are reasons I cannot... regret what happened. But if I could change the past, I would not have left our farm. Regrets or no, I wish we had stayed there. I think... we would both be happier, had we never left, and had we simply stayed, and loved our family, and each other.”

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scandinaviangods​:

The skies were black for the rest of the night. Thunder and lightning travelled and cracked along the sky, the sounds of Thor becoming apparent to those who were still awake and to those who were asleep. It was clear that the thunder god was satisfied with Lagertha.

When morning came, the city was in it’s usual state with people travelling through. Businesses sold their goods, the ship makers constructed their mighty longships, and in the corner of the city, a young and strong dark skinned Viking wielded a black hammer, slamming it down onto the hot steel on the anvil, forming a blade. This young man had a shaved clean head, with a clean shaven face which was usually deemed as rather inappropriate in Norse society.

When the day had been finished, this young man, Modi, was closing up the shop for his master. Someone who had taken him in to pay off a debt that should have been paid off months ago. But Modi had no family, no other home to run to. He was not the same color as everyone around him, which obviously affected his social status.

He wore no shirt, revealing that he too had Nordic runes and markings along his dark body and muscular figure. Modi was very clearly a handsome man, and it was true that some women have approached him but.. it never exactly worked out.

And then he felt it. The footsteps approaching. The Queen approaching. He could tell it was her due to the power of her steps with his enhanced hearing. Turning himself around, Modi looked upon the strikingly beautiful face in front of him. He was rubbing his hands with a rag, tossing it away as he took a deep breath, his muscles stretching and relaxing with his exhale.

“My Queen-” Modi bowed slowly, then raised himself up. “Did you desire a blade? Or an axe? My master is not here I’m afraid if you desire him to make your weapon or equipment.”

For once, the storms had been a comfort to Lagertha. She recalled that Ragnar had once told her it stormed horribly when they were going to Lindisfarne, and Floki had taken it as a sign that the Gods were pleased with what they did, that their favour went with them. She had that same feeling just then.

The next morning, as the city of Kattegat began to wake, Lagertha dressed herself, braided her hair as she usually did, and ate her morning meal alone. There was much business which she needed to attend to as Queen, but though she attended to it all, she kept thinking about the promise she had made to Odin the night before. As soon as she was finished with her duties for the town that day, she knew she needed to get out there and begin looking for Modi as she’d sworn to do.

Eventually, she was finished with her duties, and so she started her walk through the town. It had sounded to her like he shouldn’t be too hard to find, considering he looked so different from those who tended to live within the walls of Kattegat, and considering Odin himself had given her a few pieces of information to go from.

When Lagertha did find him, she paused for a few moments to watch him. That was the part of her which apparently remained from her time as a Shieldmaiden primarily. She liked to know what exactly she was walking into before she walked into it, if she could.

She finally began to walk down toward him, stepping with the sort of confidence which came from her position. The way he greeted her had her smiling in an amused sort of way. Lagertha gave a polite bow of her head in response to his bow, but shook her head when he asked about if she was there for a new weapon, and wanted to see his master.

“I actually am here to see you, Modi,” she confessed, stepping a little closer to him. “Your attention to detail has caught my interest, and I wanted to speak to you regarding your physical capability.”

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scandinaviangods​:

He was smiling practically the entire time as he listened to the Queen’s words. The way she held herself in particular was what made him so excited to watch her, to observe her every move and word that she spoke to him. Lagertha was a woman of focus and commitment, something very few men could ever master or conquer within themselves. Suddenly, all feelings of doubt or worry had rushed away from the allfather. Odin chuckled with her as she put two and two together. It was very clear to the God that Lagertha had been desired and wanted by many. This was something that happened often to women who gained power in Midgard. 

Odin raised Gungnir up, then smashed the bottom down onto the floor. The longhouse rumbled, his ravens Huginn & Muninn called out, his wolves Freki and Geri howled out into the moon. His one eye glowed vibrantly, his cloak flowing around him now as the strong old and wise God backed away from the Midgardian Queen. “Lagertha of Kattegat, the Gods will not forget this day and what you have done for us. Time and time again you have more than proved yourself worthy to feast in the halls of Valhalla, to be carried by the Valkyrie’s to see the fallen soldiers and loved ones who have fallen before you..”

The allfather reached into his cloak, and pulled out a beautiful sword.. it was a great sword no doubt, long and wide with runes carved into the beautiful blade. Holding it in both hands as his mystical spear disappeared, he brought it to Lagertha. “This was forged by the Dwarves of Nidavellir themselves. They call it.. Stálgríma. Shadow Steel. It is my gift to you. No mortal has ever received such a weapon. Your Saga will be sung across the seven seas.”

Odin backed away slowly.. then stopped again, reaching into his cloak and pulling out an axe. It was giant, with a beautiful handle that resembled the engravings on Odin’s spear. He brought the axe to his lips, and whispered a spell onto it. “Whomever shall wield this axe..” Thunder cracked across the sky as he spoke. “If they be worthy and honorable enough..” The doors wildly pounded against the longhouse. “Shall possess the power of Modi.”

In a flash, Odin was gone. The axe travelled into Lagertha’s bedroom, slamming down into the floor, remaining there until one worthy enough took it from it’s spot. 

Lagertha had no clue that Odin was so intrigued with her. She was more than happy to have a conversation with the Allfather, more than honoured as well, but had she known the way he was thinking of her, she might have been surprised. No, she would have been. Especially knowing in addition to these things just how much trust he was putting in her by asking her to protect Modi. The things in her that were putting Odin's mind at ease had been the very source of many people's desire for her throughout her life, and the reason she had the power she did. Perhaps now, they were affording her even more power.

Her eyes widened in shock at what he was saying to her. When he mentioned the loved ones who had fallen before her, her eyes instantly watered, and she couldn't keep herself from breathing out, "Ragnar." That had been what she intended to ask the Allfather, if he had truly made it to Valhalla, as those remaining on Midgard believed of him. But from his words, she felt convinced he had indeed. Her husband was there, and he would be waiting for her when she died and the Valkyries summoned her home to Odin's halls. She wondered briefly what he would think of the talk of her becoming a Goddess.

The Shieldmaiden almost felt overwhelmed by this, by all that Odin was promising her. She reached out reverently to take Stálgríma from him, nodding slowly along as he spoke. "You honour me," she said, looking up at him once she had accepted the gift. "You speak as if I am already worthy of such a gift, but I make this promise in exchange for it today. I will never let myself become unworthy of what you have given me, Lord Odin, Allfather."

She could feel the power around her in that moment as Odin spoke those words over the axe, and threw it to her room. Part of her was curious if she would be able to lift it, if perhaps she was meant to be the one who lifted it. And yet, another part of her did not want to know the answer to that question. She decided she didn't need to know, for the time being.

Once he was gone, Lagertha finally let out a breath, and relaxed. That had been more than she'd expected when she woke, but  now, she knew her task.

[forkattegxt]

scandinaviangods​:

“The honor is all mine. You are one of the noblest Queen’s here in the realm of Midgard. Something tells me you may have the opportunity to rise to Godhood upon reaching the gates of Valhalla. Though.. that is a long ways away.”

Her bowing made the allfather smile gently. Raising a hand, he waved it in disapproval. “Worship will not be necessary. Not from you.” He took another step forward. His one glowing eye looked into her very soul, as if he was analyzing everything about her being. The true guesser sighed, the raven making a small sound as it walked around on the table next to them.

“Freya has told me she would trust you to guard something very precious to us. Something here in this very city. You may have seen him before. He works as the blacksmiths assistant. His name is Modi.. and he is Thors youngest son. My grandson.” Odin took a deep breath, exhaling slowly.

“Thor had a child with a woman from a land far away from here. One way or another.. destiny brought her and her unborn child to your lands. The child was born, and Thor made it his duty to protect this child from the world of Gods. Thor and our family.. we wish this young man to live a glorious life on Midgard. He will have abilities far greater than any normal mortal. He is the son of a God afterall.”

Woutan took a step back, the raven flying onto his shoulder. “Asgard needs me and Thor. To protect not only Valhalla and our home.. but this realm as well. Midgard is under our protection. But we can not stay here and watch over him forever.” He was close to her again, chest nearly pressed to her breasts. “My request, is that you look after this boy. He is on his twenty first winter. Modi is strong but.. he does not look like ‘our’ people.” He looked at her, hoping she understood his meaning. “He is a warrior with dark skin. Skin so dark he blends in with the night. But his eyes? They are his father’s. Crystal blue. It is my understanding some of the people in your city have mistreated my grandson due to the color of his skin.”

All of a sudden, his magical spear, Gungnir, appeared in his right hand. “Promise me this issue will be resolved. Promise me you will watch over him? Please.. my grandson must have someone watching over him. I understand this task is one of shock - but it would mean the realms to me, and to Thor. Though..” Odin laughed softly. “Modi takes a interest in you. If.. you understand my meaning.”

His words surprised her once more, though she’d gotten better at taking his words in her stride. This meant she didn’t react overly much in her expression, and she instead smiled graciously. Her brows did still lift, a little, and so she gave off the impression of being surprised, yet pleasantly so.

But it was a pleasant surprise to hear just how highly the Gods thought of her, wasn’t it? That one day, perhaps, she might become a Goddess herself? That was something few Midgardians could ever even dream of, and yet here was the Allfather himself, insinuating that could very well await her when she finally came into Valhalla. It excited her.

It also shocked her a little to hear that Freyja trusted her so much that she would trust her with something so precious to herself and the other Gods. When she heard it was the son of Thor, the shock inside her chest only grew. What an incredible trust being placed in her...

She listened intently to the story of Modi’s birth, and what his family wanted for him. Sometimes, as she nodded along, she began to wonder a bit if this was why Ragnar had always been so successful. He’d claimed to be descended from Odin, though of course no one knew the truth or lack thereof when he did, but now that she knew about Modi, she found herself thinking that it sounded more plausible than before.

At the report of how Modi had been treated, however, her expression grew more serious, and she nodded gravely in response. “Our people are those who follow our ways, and our Gods. Anyone who comes to Kattegat and wants to stay, make their own way and their own life here, is welcome in our town. It does not matter how they look, and so if he has been mistreated on this alone... it is wrong.” She took a deep breath, not letting herself be intimidated by how close she stood to the Allfather. After all, he was asking something of her. Even with Gungnir now in his hand, she knew he was no threat to her. Not at the time. “You have my word I will do all I can to look after Modi, and ensure he is treated well here in Kattegat.”

Lagertha had chuckled a little when Odin advised her to the way Modi saw her, and she gave an amused nod. Many of the men in Kattegat- and some of the women she was sure now, after Astrid- looked at her in the same way. “I do understand your meaning,” she confirmed. “I will try not to be too intimidating when I meet your grandson, which I look forward to greatly. Finding him will be my first task when Skinfaxi crosses the sky tomorrow.”

[forkattegxt]

scandinaviangods​:

“The sword will not be required for this encounter, honorable Shieldmaiden.” The stranger spoke as he then heard her next few questions, which of course, were expected. He was shrouded in the darkness of the room, as if he was one with the blackness of the walls and unlit areas that were untouched by the light of the fire burning along a straight line in the longhouse.

He gave a smile, and the man turned his head. The fire lighted the left side of his face. His eye socket was completely empty, his right eye gently glowing a sun like color in the shape of an orb. He had a black beard with dark curly hair, and looked muscular and strong. He was taller than any male in Kattegat. Woutan looked upon the shield maiden with admiration. No wonder his wife, Freya, had taken such an interest in the woman.

“My time in this realm is limited Lagertha.” He stood up, strong and tall. The old but handsome face looked upon the Queen. “I am Odin.” He introduced himself. A raven flew into the longhouse as the doors breezed opened by the wind controlled by the allfather. The raven sat on the table near thr God of Wisdom, War and Death.

“I have only tonight to speak to you about this. Asgard awaits my return.” He took a step forward. “Freya told me of your beauty. Such… strength in your bones. I can feel it inside you.” He nodded, enjoying the sight of such a strong female warrior. “You shall dine well with the rest of my heroes in the halls of Valhalla. But.. I am here to discuss a matter. To ask a favor upon you, mighty Lagertha.”

Lagertha tilted her head a little. How strange, that he should refer to her as a Shieldmaiden, not as a Queen. Most people in Kattegat recognised her by her title. But, then again, most people in Kattegat did not come into her longhouse in the middle of the night, shrouded by such darkness that she couldn’t clearly see their face. And where were her guards anyway? How had he gotten into her longhouse in the first place?

The sight of the empty eye socket made her curiosity pique, and she regarded him as such. One brow lifted, and had he not explained himself rather immediately, she would have asked. However, everything became clear the moment he introduced himself, and so her eyes widened a bit as she bowed before him. It wasn’t every day a God made himself known in Kattegat- though some believed it had happened.

When he spoke of a favour, Lagertha straightened, looked at him with a strange sort of confusion in her eyes. After all, he was a God, she was a Shieldmaiden, a Midgardian Queen. What could she possibly due for him? Worship him, yes, and guide others in their worship of him, but beyond that? Her mind couldn’t conceive of what a God may have need of from a mortal.

She was still flattered to hear him speak of her so greatly, and so she smiled and bowed her head graciously when he finished. “Thank you, Lord Odin,” she said. “You honour me. I cannot imagine what there is I could do for you, but whatever it is you ask of me, you have my word I will do all I can to see it done.” There was much she wanted to ask him, but for the time being, he had need of her. She would wait on his command.

[forkattegxt]

scandinaviangods​:

@forkattegxt​ closed starter.

The black cloak he wears is not an uncommon one. Most of the citizens of Kattegat were known for wearing layers during these harsh and cold winters where the babes would freeze in their mothers arms or die from simple illnesses such as colds. Just because you were a higher power didn’t mean you could save everyone. The stranger had as much wisdom and knowledge as anyone, yet he still felt useless sometimes.

The longhouse belonging to Lagertha Lothbrok was a fine home. The fire along the center of the wooden home was in a straight beautiful line amongst the coal and wood. It kept the man warm. Even in Godhood, they still felt the cold rush of air, though it hardly affected them physically. He sat there with his black cloak and boots, his large black beard and curly dark hair making him seem very mysterious and other worldly to most. He was chewing on some sort of meat, from a rabbit or deer perhaps.

Visiting his worshippers personally was something he did quite often. Though, it was never exactly like this. He tried to remain hidden in plain sight most of the time, and it usually worked. However, the woman he was going to be meeting today would very obviously be shocked to see him of all people visiting her. But Lagertha Lothbrok was unlike any other shieldmaiden he had seen.

She was sleeping in her quarters, most likely unaware he was there. 

“Lagertha,” his voice flowed through space and time, reaching her mind as she slept. “Wake up. Come to me.”

Lagertha found herself very busy day to day, as was to be expected as Queen of Kattegat. This gave way to a very tired woman when night finally came, and so after the evening meal was served in her Great Hall, she went to bed. Sleep hadn’t come easily at first, not with the loss of Astrid to King Harald, but it had needed to come, and eventually, it had.

Then again, exhaustion tended to cause that. It also tended to cause dreamless sleep, though some nights, her mind concocted nightmares from the various horrors she had seen and experienced in her life. But a voice cut through the relived disasters that night, and she sat up with a confused and curious look on her face. It sounded too real to have been part of her dreams, and yet she was alone in her chambers. 

The Shieldmaiden chose to investigate, slipping out of her bed and taking her sword silently from its sheath once it was attached to her hip, just in case there was trouble. She walked into the Great Hall, and froze when she saw the stranger sitting there. Her sword slipped back into its sheath as she began to make her approach.

“I am not used to visitors coming in the dead of night,” she began, crossing her arms as she came to stand before the man. “So you’ll have to excuse me when I ask, what business do you have that could not wait until morning?”

[forkattegxt]

legacy-of-ragnar​:

Ragnar never truly found happiness after Lagertha and Bjorn left. He had moments when he was happy but overall he had been changed. He was happy at the birth of each of his children- but he found himself wanting to be on the sea more than at home… when it was Lagertha, Gyda, and Bjorn it was the opposite. He felt like he’d failed his children with Aslaug because of that- he was never there for them in the same way he was there for Bjorn growing up.

He figured that was because his home would always be that farm he built with Lagertha. When Lagertha left with Bjorn he was truly alone- he didn’t know Aslaug… Ubbe was just a baby and his darling Gyda had died with out him. He blamed himself for a lot of things and the guilt was hard to handle. 

Living in the great hall with Aslaug never felt like home to him. She never felt like home. His children made it better but there was always something missing. He knew that something was Lagertha and Bjorn… though Bjorn didn’t need him anymore and Lagertha had moved on. 

He felt as if he didn’t deserve happiness anymore… but it seemed the Gods obviously planned for him to suffer longer. He felt like he wasn’t an honorable man anymore. He just wanted his simple farm life back… but he wished Ubbe, Hviterk, Sigurd, and Ivar were Lagertha’s children. 

He was confused when she rubbed his back. He didn’t quite understand why she’d be doing that considering their past but he welcomed it. He felt himself relax considerably at her touch. She cared too much- he didn’t deserve it. He never deserved her. 

He could see his question caught her off guard, it brought a slight smirk to his face as he watched her think it through. “Yes, in truth.” he responded his piercing blue eyes staring into hers. Her words warmed his heart but he tried not to let himself get his hopes up. He knew he could apologize and beg for her forgiveness- but he didn’t deserve her forgiveness. “and why is that? I ruined everything we built… why is it that you want to spend your potential last moments with the man who ruined the perfect life we had?” He clenched his fists slightly and immediately relaxed them. “It doesn’t make sense to me Lagertha.” 

@forkattegxt

There had been no home for Lagertha once she left Ragnar. Of course, having Hedeby, it was much more like having a home, especially as Björn was there with her. She wished, many times, that it had been Ragnar there for the remainder of Björn’s youth, and not Sigvard. At least Ragnar had never done to her what Sigvard had. She’d wondered often, during that marriage, if she should have left Björn in Kattegat with his father, to spare him from having to have ever known Sigvard, and the abuse she suffered at his hand.

Not that she had simply laid down and suffered it, though. She still fought back with everything in her, as Björn himself had discovered the night she asked her husband to support Ragnar in whatever quest he had taken that time. (She had asked to support him multiple times before, but apparently that night was one time too many.)

She’d eventually overthrown him, of course, taken Hedeby for herself, but it still hadn’t been that farm with Ragnar, with Björn, and with Gyda. Nothing ever would be, regardless of how much power she gained, regardless of where she earned that power, or how. It wasn’t home.

Ragnar was home. Ragnar, and Björn, and their poor Gyda. That farm was home. And that was why she sat now with Ragnar. Because if she was going to die, she wanted to die having been home first. 

Lagertha could see Ragnar relaxing under her touch, and so she continued. Just like she’d sought out something that would put her mind and soul at ease, the night before she might die, she wanted to put his mind and soul at ease if she could. He deserved that much, after all he had suffered.

Perhaps Ragnar had hurt her beyond what she’d ever believed he could, or would, but what had followed had been month after month of suffering, season after season. In her opinion, he had suffered far more than she might have believed he deserved by this point. Certainly, he now deserved nothing if not rest. She heard his confusion and uncertainty, and she couldn’t help but smile a little as she considered his words. “I am here because we did once share that perfect life,” she confessed. She sighed softly, before continuing. “I confess, I miss the life we once shared, Ragnar. Sitting with you now takes me back to that time, and I can imagine we never left our farm. Sometimes, I wish we hadn’t.”

[forkattegxt]

legacy-of-ragnar​:

He didn’t know what Lagertha was truly feeling in those moments. He was sure that it was undeniable pain and frustration- but he didn’t want to keep showing his face in her life if she was trying to build a new one with another man. He’d almost gone to her a couple of times but always held back because that other man should be there for her- doing the things that he couldn’t.

He struggled with accepting what he’d done to Lagertha. She’d been the love of his life since he’d laid eyes on her. He kept it to himself until he was able to act on his feelings and he earn her respect. He spent so long planning how he’d get her attention and get her to fall in love with him… and he pissed all that hard work away. 

Ragnar hated himself for what he’d done to their perfect family. He had it made and he let it all slip between his fingers. He loved all his children- they were all perfect and precious to him… but Aslaug wasn’t. He was disgusted with himself when he realized he couldn’t say he loved her. He cared for her and loved what she did for his kids… but he didn’t love her. There was only one woman he’d loved in his life and it was still Lagertha… he just figured she would never take him back… why would she? 

He had completely ruined the world they built together. He could see how much his actions hurt her and he could see how hard it was for her to decide to leave him. At the time he was so hurt Bjorn went with her- but looking back on it he was relieved that he did. Lagertha needed someone to care for - that’s what she did. She was tough on the outside but Ragnar knew that she was so incredibly family oriented. It was one of the things he adored about her.  He looked at her and sighed softly before looking away. “I’m sure the Gods are watching over us… they’ve been very present in my life over the last couple of years.” he said softly thinking about his attempt on his life and Odin essentially denying him of even that and send the crows to laugh at his failure. He wasn’t sure what the Gods wanted from him- but he figured he continue until he died since they wouldn’t give him the easy way out. 

“Tell me Lagertha-” he said pausing and looking into her eyes. “Why is it that you’ve sought out my presence? I’m sure there are plenty of other people who better deserve your company on the eve of battle.” he said letting his fingers drum on the wooden table they were sitting at. 

@forkattegxt

After Ragnar, Lagertha hadn’t ever found a man she could love in the way she loved him. Her second husband, Sigvard, she had hated for his cruelty toward her, and she knew Björn felt the same for him, and she’d never ended up marrying Kalf. No, in fact, she killed him on the day of their wedding. Ragnar remained the man she loved, and she didn’t think he would ever be replaced. There were no men like Ragnar Lothbrok.

Truthfully, she also struggled to accept what had become of them. Especially in moments like this, when she sat with Ragnar, she could almost believe none of that had happened. He still felt like her husband, she still felt as though she were his wife. Aslaug didn’t exist right then, and it felt as though everything were as it should be.

And that was how she knew she would accept Ragnar now, even after everything. Because after everything, when she sat with him and imagined he was her husband again, her heart wanted nothing more than for that dream to be true. She knew one day, in Valhalla, they would be together again in the way they once were, but why should she wait for that? If she knew now how Ragnar felt about Aslaug, and about her, she wouldn’t have waited. There was no need for them to wait.

Leaving Ragnar had been the hardest decision she had ever had to make. Losing Gyda and her other children was more painful, but those hadn’t been decisions, so much as things which had happened to her. But leaving Ragnar, that had been her call. Björn leaving with her had been a wonderful thing for her, even if she knew how hard it must have been for Ragnar to have lost them both, especially after the death of Gyda. But, in that time, he had made that mistake, and the consequences of it weren’t easy to bare.

Lagertha watched Ragnar with concern written across her face. Yes, the Gods watched over them, but that didn’t necessarily mean no harm could come to any of them. But, that was the source of her anxieties, and likely the source of any he was having. She sighed softly, and reached over to lay a hand on Ragnar’s back, rubbing it soothingly. Just as he had thought only moments before, she was once again caring for someone. It was what she did.

His question caught her slightly off guard, and she blinked slowly a few times, looking back into his eyes. “In truth?” she began. She smiled softly at him, and her touch became a bit more gentle, a bit more loving. “There is no one here whose company I would rather share. Even if I am to die tomorrow... This is where I want to be.”

[muzaiii-archive-blog]

don’t ship with me bc if i know you do angst then i’ll literally hurt you on purpose and then laugh about it

[forkattegxt]

legacy-of-ragnar​:

Ragnar hated the news of Lagertha’s lost children. He knew the pain of losing their child, she’d been through it multiple times and he wished he could take that pain from her. He’d wanted to reach out and provide comfort but why would she want that. He was her ex husband, he’d broken her heart snd she’d broken his… rightly.

He never thought Aslaug would follow him home. Of course he loved Ubbe, but he didn’t love her. He loved his children, Lagertha, Floki, and Helga. He would never stop loving Lagertha because she was his biggest mistake. She was the only person that could make the mess in his head make sense. She seemed to know how to untangle his thoughts and set him straight and he missed it. Ever since she left there was this haze that coated his life. 

He’d prayed to the Gods that maybe someday he’d be able to right his wrongs with Lagertha. He knew that he did not deserve a second change with her- he’d done the one thing she begged him not to do. He wouldn’t say that he was bewitched because there were many warning signs that he blatantly ignored. 

He hummed slightly when she made the comment about him going hungry. She had done this for him hundreds of times- only today it meant a lot to him. They were close to a battle and they were fighting against a new enemy. It could end up going very wrong- which was always a risk the Vikings when they raided. He wasn’t scared to meet Odin- he’d die with a smile on his face. 

He started eating for a couple of seconds before nodding and humming again. “We’ve essentially built giant ladders to get us up and over the walls- I don’t think they’ll be expecting it… though it could go badly.” he said admitting the pit fall of his plan. He would outwardly admit those things to only two people- Floki and Lagertha. He smirked a bit “I do hope it’s as excellent as we think… but with new things there is always the possibility for it to backfire… though we both know I’m lucky when it comes to things like this.” he said softly before continuing to eat. 

He finished eating rather quickly, having it be the first time he’d eaten that day. “How are you really feeling Lagertha?” he asked turning his upper body to finally face her, closing the rest of the room off and focusing on his ex-wife, taking in her features. He was trying not to be obvious about his scanning eyes taking in her beauty as if it could be his last time. He didn’t usually think like that but he didn’t want to take that chance when it came to Lagertha. 

@forkattegxt

Contrary to what Ragnar had believed, each time she lost a child, all Lagertha truly wanted was for him to comfort her. It always made her question each decision she had made in her life, what the Gods meant to show her through this pain, and she always wished she had never left that farm- the farm she’d shared with Ragnar himself, with Björn, and with Gyda.

Hearing from Björn that Ragnar had been unfaithful to her had opened a crack in her heart, but to actually see Aslaug, the woman he had been with, to see that she carried a child when Lagertha no longer believed she could... That had been the moment she believed she lost Ragnar. She understood his love for his children, but that didn’t mean she didn’t ache at night, didn’t feel her heart break again, to think of Ragnar lying in bed at night with that woman.

Not when it should have been her. Sometimes, she questioned if Ragnar had been bewitched. If he had been, or if he’d just own up to what he’d done, and come back to her, she knew she wouldn’t be able to stand against him. Once, she had set her face against him, but each time she saw him, she knew if he were to beg her forgiveness, even just once, she would freely and gladly give it.

For many years, Lagertha had made sure Ragnar wouldn’t go hungry. After all, as his wife, she had prepared many meals for him, and made sure he got a meal when they were away on a raid. It seemed that now, though she was no longer his wife, she couldn’t quite keep herself from looking after the man. Then again, that was what love did, wasn’t it? She’d never believed love was just a word. It was something one did, and looking after Ragnar had been how she loved him.

She listened to the plan Ragnar and Floki had come up with, eating quietly and nodding when it made sense to do so. He was right, the Parisians likely wouldn’t be expecting this from them, especially not based off what Athelstan had said of them. The thought of the monk made her chest ache for a moment, wishing he had been able to join them, and had not gone on to his Heaven so soon. But, if the Parisians were quick to adapt, there would be little they could do. They just had to pray for the Gods’ favor, and hope this plan of theirs wouldn’t backfire, as they all knew it could.

At his question, at the way he turned toward her, she paused in her eating, and angled herself so that he, too, was the only person in the room with her attention. She could almost imagine they were on their farm again, though that line of thinking would do her no good. “The Gods are with us, I believe,” she told him, speaking slowly and thoughtfully. “They have always been with you, Ragnar, and they will not abandon you now. But... I know they teach us things through our pain. I hope tomorrow will not be one of those times they choose to do so.”