dog i gotta move like yesterday
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ellievsbear

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Janaina Medeiros

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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Xuebing Du
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noise dept.
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cherry valley forever

Love Begins
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@formalbom
dog i gotta move like yesterday
Please stay
EVERY YEAR
Undertale enspired bracelets! Each bracelet is a main character :)
Seeing people rightfully hating on my favorite character.
Man.
February 2nd.
When i’m at a yearning competition and my opponent is joker persona 5
Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .
You can not just say this without dropping the whole story
Ok so,
My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.
The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn't read the things written by Hand, because he wasn't wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he's like:
"Oh, sorry sir you can't do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)"
The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen't take the document with him.
The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:
This is a robbery
Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead
I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).
So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.
A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:
Her: how can I help you today?
Him: I’m here to get money
Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*
Him: all the information is on the paper
Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper
SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.
Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.
ONE HOUR LATER
Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.
To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”
Her: I am so embarrassed
FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-
Her: I feel so dumb!
FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)
I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.
He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you're shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.
So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.
"Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it'll go through and not hit anything vital and I'll be able to quit this fucking job. I'll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register."
This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming "SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY".
@rmilkies
One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he'd been shot at once.
One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.
My uncle pointed at the "No Smoking" sign and told him in no uncertain terms, "Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first."
This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.
My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.
This is what I like to call the Bugs Bunny Deescalation Strategy
royal trio sleepover
really love the way royal fixed the awkward akechi death situation. og game: your rival/other half/only person you couldn't save died in front of you. you went home. you had one discussion in the group chat about it. your cat reminded you that the home shopping program was on so you bought something and then watched a rerun of x files. you laid awake that night lamenting for 2 minutes and then went to bed. welp! that's it. the next day you go to school and none of your friends are talking about it. the game doesn't address this has happened for the rest of its runtime.
royal: exact same thing as above, with the whole situation brushed over, but little do you know that you the main character will have this incident deeply fucking haunt a part of your psyche you are unaware of, making you miss him like a phantom limb you dont even think you really lost. for the next 30 hours of gameplay you will think that this abrupt awkward end to this guy's character arc didn't really affect you until surprise! you compartmentalized this incident SO WELL and with so little active thought about it that it manages to become the final plot twist of the game simply because you dont want to address your unprocessed grief
My friend just started demon slayer and they say that rengoku is their favorite.
They dont know.
as i slowly try to get over my arachnophobia i must confess i always thought it was silly when people told me "don't worry, they're more scared of you than you are of them!" like okay first of all i'm not even sure if thats true, most house spiders seem like they're kinda minding their own business while i am demonstrably freaking out. second of all if it IS true then it doesnt even change how scared i am. like great now we're both scared. i'm scared, the spiders scared, everythings fucked. lets just burn the house down hand in unlovable hand (and hand and hand and hand and hand and hand and hand and hand.)
friendships online be like bro i would deactivate for you
Well those are allllmost done
question. why do you have 7 featureless grey monoliths in your driveway
There's eight actually but the last one is still in the garage
question. why do you have eight featureless grey monoliths
They're actually a really dark purple
question. why do you have seven featureless really dark purple monoliths in your driveway and an eighth in the garage
Some of them do have features though. There's holes and hinges and stuff, so I can put secrets in em
question. why do you have 8 really dark purple occasionally featureful monoliths
The heart wants what the heart wants
this reads like a muppet sketch
see? See!??!
You're not wrong
This post is less than six months old.
Sometimes posts just, have olde tumblr post energy. And ya gotta live wit dat.
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
"this movie doesn't hold up bcos of dated special effects :(" to you, maybe. i would clap at a bat on a string
reblogs are back on for october! limited edition
also if gnomes were all sitting around a small tree stump using it as a table and someone used the word "misnomer" one of them would speak up and go "HEEHEE. MISS GNOMER IS WHAT I CALL THE MISSUS" they'd all laugh so hard they fall off the mushrooms they are sitting on and spill the berry juice everywhere