SLEEPER, ARISE!

Chris and/or Fish, they/them, professional whalefall ponderer and shakespeare enjoyer and god's favorite jester. asks are off but feel free to message me if you want

[fishofthewoods]

[woman-becomer]

imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

[comfymoth]

i think the internet should transition from being so usa-centric to being brazil-centric. not cos i have any personal connection or bias towards brazil, i just think if anyone could possibly usurp america’s cultural dominance online it’d be them

[comfymoth]

“man i just woke up where are all these notifs coming fro—“

[thatweirdnoise]

[konoko]

[stingchronicity]

i always see “tag fav fruit” posts but i’ve never seen a fav veg post so rb & tag your favourite vegetable

[fishofthewoods]

me when the critically acclaimed famously good lauded by everyone highly recommended movie is good:

[fishofthewoods]

omg its my favorite time of the year again (the gender census is open)

[deathtofun]

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

[regularlesbian]

breaking news from the AP, our boys on the front have just sacked constantinople. take that, heretics. coming up next are the soothing lute dirges of bing crosby

[emryses]

toilet sign i saw today thats humourous if you’re rotepilled. considering the

[fishofthewoods]

finished the farseer trilogy. i am normal and regular guy with feelings normal size

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[n0seferatu]

big pharma will try to sell u $20 cold medicine like spicy ramen doesnt cost like a dollar a pack and orgasms are free

[n0seferatu]

damn british people cant cum..... this is so sad.......

[n0seferatu]

big chemist will try to sell you £20 paracetamol like beans dont cost like a quid a can and havin a wank costs fock all

[lustcannibalism]

they should invent a way for me to do tasks without the mind torture

[lustcannibalism]

there is a world out there I can’t comprehend

[typecasto]

behold, context

[toweringclam]

[saberchild]

so many posts like implying that eva stratt's big regret is killing ryland grace and im like. i don't think so. i don't think she has time to/lets herself agonize about it first of all. but also she did a lot of shit and i think if she made a list i don't think he'd be that high up. BUT. that is her little buddy. i think it's like an intrusive thought. god i hope killing every penguin on earth was worth it. and i used french interrogation drugs on my buddy. fawk

[fishofthewoods]

thinking about eva stratt crying screaming breakdown once the hail mary launches and she’s done everything she can do… she’s been holding it together for so long & at last the wave breaks… ough

[fishofthewoods]

And the critical element once she is done sobbing and tearing her hair out and throwing things at the wall she calms down. Straightens up. Goes to meet her executioner (the world’s governments who need a fall guy)

[zsx-cbr]

[psilocervidae]

Green + yellow + orange is a highly underrated colour combo

[psilocervidae]

Look at her don't you love her