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@formerprincess-paigevanderbilt
“slurred words” + paige vanderbilt
“Listen… I know that I might be young but 100% I am ready to be a step-daddy to her kids. Hear me out! Listen- Listen, ‘eat your greens’, 'don’t stick stuff up your nose’ and, like duh, 'you can call me Ian’ until they like, get there. We’d have a beautiful life together s'all I’m sayin’.“
@formerprincess-paigevanderbilt
We all know this never would have happened if the Vanderbilt’s had hosted the dinner.
My god, she’s really just gone. She walked out on her family, how rude.
@http://gofor-faye.tumblr.com/post/173013422596/felicity-faye-dont-i-because-i-think-its
Did all of you kids run out of your Prom bribes? Because I’m starving and I have a meeting soon– you sure none of you have, like, a Prom muffin or bagel or something? No?
My dear no. Don’t succumb to the hunger, ride the wave. You can’t fill your body with empty calories simply because it’s convenient. Have you tried kale salads? Very tasty and very healthy.
Everyone around here is always so weird, but it’s like today made everyone lose their minds. Maybe there’s something in the water supply.
Oh no. Promise me you haven’t been drinking the tap water, please. It’s bottled or filtered, nothing else. You know this, Donny. You can get parasites. You don’t want a parasite, now do you?
Hi dear.
dr-rebelprincess :
[ Why Felicity had insisted she be the one to run along and see who was at the door now (seriously, how many people had she invited?) was lost on Andy. Okay so it wasn’t, she knew exactly why her sister had insisted she leave the room promptly and that was because when Andrea Parker was left unsupervised for too long, fights broke out. Sometimes. Either way, she’d grabbed a platter of entrées for herself and proceeded to precariously balance it as she opened the door. ]
Hey, welcome to Felicity-land AKA the happiest place on earth. No off-brand allowed but please enjoy your stay.
@formerprincess-paigevanderbilt
[Paige wasn’t the type of woman to go turning down invitations to dinner parties, especially not in her current social position, and while the Vanderbilt-Montgomery dinner was hardly the level of sophistication and class she’d encountered in Paris and Milan, it was....a fun idea. And anyway, her kids were there, so of course she was attending. Even if other, less well-bred guests were also in attendance.....]
[Breezing past Andy, grabbing a snack off the plate and barely sparing a glance her way] Yes, yes, much appreciated. Could you point me to the host, please? Oh, and here’s my coat. There’s a dollar in the pocket for your troubles.
ian-magic-son :
Appropriate, shmappropriate. You can look at and comment on my ass five years younger or five years older, I don’t mind one bit. [ winks ] Your genes aren’t lacking in a little bit of wonderful yourself. You’re right though, I do come from quite the line of perky asses.
Well then, I’ll say you really are keeping it tight and toned, aren’t you? You’re quite the charmer. My family certainly does have a certain youthful to glow to them, I suppose we both just came from good gene pools. Before I agree--is your mother the blonde one with the invisaligned teeth? Because we got into the most frustrating conversation about drape color the other day, I have to say I can’t give that woman any compliments, direct relative or yours or not.
gofor-faye :
Paige Vanderbilt, oh my gosh! Hi. How are you? I am yes but I totally have time to talk to you, always. Oh wow, do you really think so? One step at a time I suppose but I have always suited headwear, especially of the sparkly variety. Oh, stop. [ She laughed and probably really was blushing ] You’re going to make me blush and then someone will take a picture and before you know it a Havensdale-wide scandal will have broken out. Thank you so much, really. I- Are you coming to dinner tonight? You have to.
I’m wonderful, of course. How are you? Excited about prom, I’m sure. You have just the face shape for a tiara, it is true. And your hair is always so perfect, I can’t imagine anyone else looking better in one. [She smiled and nodded her head demurely] Of course, we can’t have the rumor mill running a smear campaign against you this close to the vote. That’s a tragedy we won’t stand for. Of course I am, how could I miss the dinner of the year? Please tell me you’re wearing something dark, I feel like navy would really bring out your eyes.
gxrgeousgeorge :
Oh, don’t go there, Paige. You may be past their age, but I’m certain you could still hold your own against a sorority girl. Though- I won’t push it. Maybe next time. [He sends a quick wink in her direction, just because he can.] Ah! Now that is a low blow. Lucky for you, I’m not easy to offend. I mean, we both know I’m the most important man on the news team. [A low smile worked it’s way onto his lips.] Ah, yes. Duke. Do send them my best wishes.
How kind. I’ll bet you’d love to see that in action. Unfortunately it will have to be another time, I’m simply too tied up to even think about enjoying myself right now. Ah, of course. I would love a raincheck, we’ll schedule something for next week. Have your people call my people [as if she had people anymore, but she wasn’t above bribing Louis to pretend to be her secretary if the moment called for it]. Oh, my dear, I wasn’t trying to offend you, please don’t misunderstand. I thought everyone knew about the news hierarchy, I suppose I was wrong. I’m actually quite fond of Wendy Star, but I can’t deny your achievements. Your mother must be so proud of you, reporting the weather to all, what, one thousand town residents? It’s a great first step, George, I know you’ll go far. [She’s being unreasonably petty now. George didn’t force her to cheat on her husband, and it was hardly his fault for getting caught in the middle. But it was somehow easier to hate him than it was to blame herself]. How kind, I’ll pass it along.
I don’t know if I’m smiling from sleep deprivation or for my business plans being finalized.
Did I hear business plans? Is our little entrepreneur setting his sights on the bigger picture? I’m so proud. You must tell me everything.
Okay sorry, I’m not sorry but can we just take some time out to appreciate the shape of this ass?
Well it’s hardly appropriate for a woman of my age to be commenting on your ass, but I were five years younger, I would definitely tell you that it looked wonderful today. As does all of you, of course, good genes and all that.
Hi there, do you want a cupcake? Here- Have a cupcake. Good, right? Also, vote for me- Faye Montgomery, duh- for prom queen. Tell your friends, tell your family.
My dear! I see you’re hard at work on the campaign trail, don’t let me slow you down. This year the prom court, next year the Miss America pageant, right? I can’t wait to see you take over the world, there’s nowhere to go from here but up, especially from a girl as well-raised as you are. You’ve got everything the judges look for you know, poise, talent, beauty, of course, and such charisma. You’ll be huge, my dear.
I just don’t know why we’ll need that many streamers. I’ve seen the venue, it’s not- it’s not going to fit all these streamers. [ sighs ] Not that I’m crushing the dreams of the prom committee. I’m sure it’ll all work out just fine in the end. Still- Look at this order form.
Mr. MacDonald! Paul--can I call you Paul?--I’m so sorry to interrupt but I just need you to settle a dispute I’m having with one of the other mothers. She says it’s customary for the chaperones to wear something slightly dressy--I believe the words she used were business casual, but I’m finding that difficult to believe. Seeing a bunch of parents wearing tweed driving jackets would positively ruin the prom spirit. Pair that with the fact that I’ve never owned anything business casual in my entire life, and I’m sure you’ll understand my conundrum.
I’m prepared to go out to [slight pause and moment to steady herself] Walmart to buy a cotton blazer if I absolutely must, but you have to admit that I’ll look rather silly in Louboutins and a mall jacket.
Where is the knife emoji? Stupid- Assholes. Never send a man to do what a woman could do better. At the very least she would have sent a text first forewarning this bullshit.
Ugh, whatever. Hey— il Piacere is just up that way, right? I need a drink.
That’s always been my life philosophy, anyways. You should write a self-help book about how to take control of your life and cut the male bullshit from it. It would be a best-seller. Are you having man drama? I say you should cut him loose. He’s clearly useless.
Right this way, yes. I’ll show you. We can make that two drinks.
gxrgeousgeorge :
Mmm, I’m sure. I could always remind you, if you’d like. [He huffs a laugh under his breath.] Oh, it’s been the same old thing, for me. Though, my accuracy has definitely improved. How’s… What’s his name? Dean? Drake?
While the offer is kind, I’m afraid I’ll have to decline. Surely you have some twenty-year-old sorority girl hanging off your arm by now? I wouldn’t want to upset her. [She briefly considers how petty it would be to make catty assumptions about him potentially being a baby daddy to a couple of college girls, but decides she won’t bring herself down to the level of a bored housewife. She’s a classy lady.] Right, of course. The weather doesn’t really go anywhere, does it? It’s not like real news. His name is Duke, and he’s doing fine. [We’re divorced.] Everything worked out for the best, especially with the children, so I really have you to thank for that. [My kids hate me and I had to move back in with my parents].
gxrgeousgeorge :
Wow. Sorry, I just, you know, forgot how beautiful you were. How long has it been, now? Surely not as long as I seem to remember.
Mhh, you always were charming. Longer than you remember, I’m sure. Ages longer. So many months ago I can barely remember it. Just a tiny blip on my radar, really. How have you been? Small town life treating you well?
Someone tell me this is a dream.
More like a nightmare.
You’re new here, right?
Of course, I’m right. I’m me. So what’s your name? Where you from? What made you uproot your life and come all the way out here to the land of trees and mysterious animal attacks?
Are you....trying to interview me? Well, I won’t say no to answering a few questions. I’m Paige Vanderbilt, visiting family in town. I know who you are. The daily news has practically made you a town celebrity, hasn’t it? I suppose I should be asking why you decided to stick around here with the whole wide world at your fingertips. New York is lovely this time of year. Ooh, or you could think internationally. Paris is great any time of year. I’m sorry, what was the question again?
