[image description: a pale photograph of a cliffs edge and the ocean, with clouds in the background. thereâs a separate stack of rocks further from the shore. in the centre, in a white serif font reads âi am made of indigoâ. /end id]
In the summer following his Uni graduation, Jude, a trans man, tries to grapple with being closeted whilst falling into a pseudo-maternal role for his younger half-sister - as he also spends the summer with Cyrus, the only other queer person he knows in their tight-knit, tiny coastal town.
POV: first person retrospective, single POV
Setting: a fictional coastal town, UK
Deals with: girlhood, sisterhood and how the two coincide with transmasculinity | navigating romance whilst trans | bad parental relationships | being queer and closeted | the absolute shitshow that's being in your early twenties and recently graduated and realising you have The Rest Of Your Life
Tone: hushed | fragile | fuzzy | slow
Aesthetics: cloudy beaches | fossils | bonfires | rock pools | misty mornings | saltwater | overgrown gardens | sleeping in cars | fleet foxes and sufjan stevens lol
Content warnings: transphobia, gender dysphoria, misogyny, parental death, mental illness, ableism
Cyrus has bulb-shaped fairy lights across his desk that flicker like the wings of a dying moth, but he keeps them up because he likes how they look in the sunlight. Cyrus sneaks cake batter and says he didnât even though it kisses the corners of his lips. Cyrus fiddles with his beaded bracelet when heâs nervous. Cyrus has a moon-shaped reading lamp that he forgets to turn off. Cyrus will wake with dawn even if he falls asleep at two, three, four in the morning. Cyrusâ favourite colour is turquoise and his favourite flavour is cherry and his favourite season is summer and his favourite planet is Neptune. Cyrus says he doesnât understand poetry but when I asked him why he chose his name he said he wanted to pocket a piece of sunlight even after the day is swallowed by the night.
[image description: a cropped photograph of the end of a rainbow above the ocean, with seven birds flying in front. /end id]
he/him. 21. pov narrator.
he's kinda convinced he's a ghost
"just found out i'm an adult. what the fuck is up with that."
existential crisis! in the grocery store
this fucker took two whole months to name <3 i stole this one from roman thank you bestie :)
he/him. 20. sunshine oc :)
autistic so automatically the best character
had a special interest in space when he was a kid and now he has an astronomy degree
picks rainbow road in mario kart
tried to bleach his hair and it turned orange and he's just embracing it
didn't realise his childhood was traumatic til he grew up and now he's like đ§
she/her, 7. jude's half-sister (they share a father)
she likes frogs and long division and animal bones :)
wants to live in the woods?
recently found out what death is and honestly she's not a fan
[image description: a cropped photograph of the end of a rainbow above the ocean, with seven birds flying in front. /end id]
hehe so this novel has been consuming me for the last two months and I simply could not end pride month without talking about it (also my friends have been threatening me to post this intro for two months LOL). This is my "I'm trans and I need to cope" novel where I want it to be an honest take on what it's like to be trans, but ultimately uplift trans voices. Originally this was just going to be a trans MLM romance between Jude and Cyrus, who create a safe space after coming out to each other as trans. And it still is! But I didn't expect to be so moved by the relationship between Jude and his half-sister. When Adele's mother (and Jude's step-mother) dies, Jude quickly realises that not only is Adele looking towards him for a maternal figure, but also that he's the only adult looking out for her. And whilst she means the world to him, he has to navigate that alongside his closeted trans identity. I do think this is an important element because, trans men are men, but most of us grew up experiencing girlhood and misogyny and its impacts - it can be very confusing to think about that after you realise you're trans, but it's not something I see talked about a lot. Like, the way I see it is I am not a woman but the world saw me as a girl, and that profoundly impacted how I grew up. And whilst this parental role clashes with his identity at the start, I think it'll be important for Jude to be able to process his relationship with girlhood through Adele's experience of it, and hopefully he can reach a point where that's in harmony with his transness.
And I'm excited to see how all of that works alongside Jude's relationship with Cyrus! I don't know where their relationship is gonna go but I know they are going to :) fall in love :). Cyrus is literally one of the sweetest characters I've ever made and I cannot wait to show more of him. He is just pure joy. The romance is def there but like, very delicate and hushed. Cyrus is like "hey what if we....just ran away because we are the only people that actually exist?" and Jude is like "Idk how to tell you I kinda adopted a child but so true"
As with Every Single Novel Of Mine this is very plot-light but this one will be the "slowest" of all of them. I think this might be my vignette era cause I can't see the book written in any way other than a series of small, breezy scenes that intertwine as the story progresses. My priority is finishing Revelations, Revelations so I'm not sure when I'll draft this properly, but it's slowly coming together. I have one taglist for all my wips, so if you'd like updates on this then feel free to ask to join it!
