When was it you decided to keep Tom locked permanently? Was it before or after you discovered the Vixskin was incredible for you?
The reason I am asking, we have had our Vixskin for about a year and a half, but she always felt weird using it. I could tell she felt like she was cheating on me even though she did not use those words. But last night was a first. She told me earlier that I might get lucky last night. I have been locked all month so by now hearing her tell me this was quite a treat for me to look forward to.
We were out with friends last night and I told her that maybe we should try and go home by 10, especially if I had a chance to get lucky. She smiled at me and said she didn't mean lucky as in letting me out of my cage but getting to use Ranger on her. I was very surprised to hear her say this because she has always felt weird about me using a strapon on her. She even has trouble with her confidence to tell me things like this, but not last night. I have no doubt that your guy's blogs have helped her become more comfortable.
I have been patient with her to make advancements in her timing and not mine. I learned a long time ago using male chastity, if you push her, (pushing just kills it for her) Husbands need to let her truly decide like we all tell our wives in the beginning, we want it to be her decision. If she gets the time she needs, she will find the enjoyment she wants out of this. I have no doubt this is one of the hardest things for husbands to do. We are so used to being in control this is a hard habit to break, truly giving it to her. We have been exploring this now for 4 to 5 years so maybe that isn't a long time, but if you're caged a lot, it seems long LOL.
So, when we got home, I heated our Vixskin to 98 degrees just like Tom has said he does. I got a massage oil controlled warmer/heater from Amazon. It is perfect to heat it. my wife calls it Roger because she misunderstood the name, we don't have a ranger we have a different model, but I knew calling it Ranger would make her more comfortable as she reads your blogs :). Anyway, I put enough water in it with the Vixskin to keep the air from interfering with the temperature monitor and set it at 98 degrees. It takes about 15 to 20 minutes to get Ranger's temperature perfect for her just to Tom's instructions from your blogs.
Before we started, she told me she wanted to to come in my cage. I didn't, but that was perfectly fine by me getting to give her this was so worth it...... We had some very nice romantic warm up kisses and when it came time I went and suited up. I will be honest, I kind of expected it to fail like the few times we tried before, but I was going to give it a try especially at her request. I don't know what changed but last night it was incredible. She had multiple orgasms, and this has NEVER happened before. There has been maybe one time I almost got her to start a second "O", with just oral and an egg, but it collapsed and never made it even enough to count a little. Last night she had at least 3 full and long "Os". She was so tired afterwards. I was completely fine with being denied; besides, my favorite part is getting to hold her as she goes to sleep after giving her deserved orgasm. It is quite something knowing how selfish I used to be to actually finding satisfaction giving her this and holding her completes the satisfaction for me. I have no doubt a man that has never explored this can't understand this, its just part of the journey that happens.
She has never left me caged for more than 27 days, today is the 2nd time she has pushed me to 27days, and she seems certain that I will be caged at least until the 1st. I don't expect permeant will ever suit us; I am leaving it up to her though. However, after last night I suspect my short lock up periods may be few if the Ranger delivers this kind of performance regularly. I think it likely will. She has seen the light, LOL.
We are like you guys, neither of us is interested in any of the crud you get asked about all the time. Last night was always my goal and I feel certain is hers now too that she has seen it is possible for her. Because of our age almost 60 and it has never happened for her in the past; she had a mental block that it never would be what it was last night. We have had a couple of other mental blocks to beat down for her from her past. We are knocking them down one at a time. She told me during our love making last night that she was pretending it was me. I confirmed to her immediately that this is me making her feel good. She was having those head games I know like before, I also remembered that you have said the same thing, that you now consider it Tom and nothing else. I think last night was our biggest field goal accomplishment during this journey. From here we will probably always find little things to make it a little better but last night was perfect for her and I enjoyed getting her there.
It's funny, in the past I would use the ranger with my hand instead of strapping it on, because of her head games, that she loved the way it felt and then I could see her face as she rejected it because of her head games. Because of this, I knew it was going to work if we could beat the game between her ears telling her this isn't right or she was enjoying something other than me.
Thank you for your blog that is for couples like us, looking for meaningful intimacy without all the worldly stuff. It was so good I suppose, it caused us to oversleep and miss church this morning, that was not our goal. We will do better next time ;)
First, good for you for not pushing her and letting her enjoy it in her own way.
We didn't really have any bedroom toys. The reason we got involved with foxing (my husband wearing the strapon) was because I enjoy PIV, and keeping him locked and de ied made him very sensitive and he had to stop and start too often which kept interrupting my mood. We started off with him using them with his hands but it wasn't the same. That's when we took the next step which led to where we are now.
I think I understand how your wife feels. For a lot of women, we have to give ourselves permission to enjoy lovemaking and sometimes it's difficult to let go enough to just... enjoy all the attention. It took me a few years to really trust that my husband was satisfied with our change in lifestyle, and that allowed me to relax into letting go of any doubt or feeling that I "had to" do something for him.
If your wife is reading this, please have your husband set up a second account for you so you can message me with any questions.
And congratulations to the both of you for working at this and learning how to enjoy each otber.