Number 82

I truly hate this world. [Post P4U2 Adachi Tohru RP Blog] Status: On Parole M!A: None READ ABOUT BEFORE INTERACTING

[shutupadachi]

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Bo Burnham’s “I Fuck Sluts” as retold by Adachi.

This fits him so well I’m so fucking mad.

Voice is mine, hue hue.

[forsakenconvict]

You guys, I did the thing. Am I cool yet?

[forsakenconvict]

First Impression: Oh hey, a Relius blog, cool imma go follow them. Impression now: THIS GUY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no yeah p much that's me with errybody hello.

you think i'm cool but u meat me and ur like wow wut a fukin nurd.

[askboxmemes]

Your First Impression of Me vs Impression of Me Now (Anonymous or Not)

[forsakenconvict]

Release [MAIN VERSE]

"So... I'm free to go then?" the ex detective muttered. He wasn't sure why he even said the things he had, but taking advantage of the police's frustrations was rather satisfying... and hey, a real bed awaited him once he set foot outside the detention center.

"Yeah, yeah... Just remember... We don't trust you for a second, but for whatever reason, the higher ups agreed to your little offer. I swear to god, Adachi. I'll be the first to fucking wring that scrawny little neck'a yours if we hear you're causin' any trouble." The middle aged detective huffed boisterously, puffing smoke from his lips onto Adachi's face.

Tohru lifted the corners of his mouth into a cocky smile, the scent of the cigarette smoke wafting into his nostrils. At this point, it would almost feel nostalgic to smell the man's smoke and his words ringing endlessly into Adachi's ears. Before long, he wouldn't hear a single word from him ever again.

"Heh... I bet you will be... You don't have anything to worry about, remember? You chose Dojima-san to be my parole officer... I'm sure he'll keep a tight grip on me. He always knew how to keep me in check..."

The metallic clinking of cuffs shifted about and Adachi's wrists were free to move in any direction they now wished. Taking a hold of his left wrist and giving it a light twist his eyebrows lifted as he grimaced slightly. "Ah... I guess this is goodbye, pig. I'd say it was a pleasure but we both know how much we hated the shit out of each other..." 

"Whaddever, get ta' gettin' before I change my mind."

Adachi snickered lightly. He was free.. On parole, but at least he wasn't cooped up in that stupid cell.

He was a new man ready to be born into the old world.

...Maybe.

[windsaffinity]

{☥} - “Oh no.” Oh god it’s him again. “What do you want?” 

[forsakenconvict]

"W-what!? I haven't even done anything! I'm just passing by...!"

[beefydetective-deactivated20150]

"Adachi, believe it or not I’m not dumb."

[forsakenconvict]

"Believe it or not, I'd rather not believe it at all. Though I guess you have to at least be able to think cognitively if you're wearin' that get up you call a detective's uniform Or maybe you just like to pretend it's Halloween all the time?"

[forsakenconvict]

"—-Well there’s that mouth of yours for starters… You like putting watermelons between your thighs…—-Have you tried bashing one over your head?"

[beefydetective-deactivated20150]

"I wouldn’t say I like putting them between my thighs considering it was once, but sure. I haven’t tried bashing it over my head because I’d assume that’d hurt, so I’ll pass on that one."

[forsakenconvict]

"Aw, really? But you're so strong... I'm sure a swift blow with a blunt object wouldn't kill you. Give it a shot, kid. I'll even buy the watermelon for you."

[beefydetective-deactivated20150]

"You’re the one setting standards for me and then calling me shallow for applying those standards. How about you come back to me when you have a legitimate complaint?"

[forsakenconvict]

"---Well there's that mouth of yours for starters... You like putting watermelons between your thighs...---Have you tried bashing one over your head?"

[beefydetective-deactivated20150]

"The point of what I was saying is that I’m not more masculine than you, but the way you’re calling me masculine seems to be due to things that are stereo-typically masculine, like muscle. According to you I’m nothing but a man with breasts because I have muscle, that’s pretty shallow.”

[forsakenconvict]

"Ghk--- You... Shut up, brat. You knew what I meant. Don't twist shit around. Urgh, ...So uncute. Don't give me that tone either just because I slipped up a little bit. That really pisses me off."

[beefydetective-deactivated20150]

"You know, if you said that to me a few years ago I’d definitely have been offended. I would have probably gotten angry at you and you’d get some weird sense of joy out of that. But no, I’ve gotten that comment enough that I don’t care one bit. Maybe you’re just jealous because you feel your masculinity is being threatened because someone who’s a girl is more ‘masculine’ than you are?"

[forsakenconvict]

"Maybe. Or I could have just said it because that's what I actually think of you. Not everything I say has to be just to illicit a reaction. I'm pretty self assured about my masculinity, kid. You think muscles make a man? That's pretty shallow, don't you think, 'Sad'onaka? Do you reduce your girlfriend to nothing but her breasts and ass, too?"

[beefydetective-deactivated20150]

"That does sound pretty gross. Though, I do have a girlfriend and we’re pretty fine in that department. Anyway, I don’t see how having muscle is disturbing. You wouldn’t be saying that if I was a man."

[forsakenconvict]

"You're a lesbian? ...I don't know why that doesn't surprise me. ---Tsk. You don't get it, do you? Girls are supposed to be cute, lithe... You're just... a man with breasts, honestly."

[forsakenconvict]

"…Please stop talking."

[beefydetective-deactivated20150]

"Scared?"

[forsakenconvict]

"Honestly? I just don't want to hear anything more disturbing. So, you can crush shit between your legs... ? I hope you don't get a boyfriend or he'll have a hard time going down on you... What if you reflexively tighten your legs around his head and--"

[beefydetective-deactivated20150]

"I actually did it around three years ago. The idea was suggested to me by someone else. Back then I didn’t even have a steady exercise regime. So, it’s safe to say that I’m much stronger now."

[forsakenconvict]

"...Please stop talking."

[forsakenconvict]

beefydetective answered your question:...Sadonaka can crush watermelons between her thighs?

"Are you concerned that your head is shaped like a watermelon?"

"...Well, no. I'm more concerned about the fact you even had the idea of actually TRYING to crush a watermelon between those thunder thighs..."

[forsakenconvict]

...Sadonaka can crush watermelons between her thighs?

"That's...fucking disturbing. I'm out."

[forsakenconvict]

Ergh...

"This is either acid reflux.. or the brats are talkin' about sappy shit again... urgh... I hope it's the former.."

[consumedwithcontempt]

"Oh so insults about my appearance and ego is meant to be a joke. Good to know, I’ll try not to be so sensitive the next time you want to pointlessly provoke me."

"As for my future, it is still none of your business. You are not my teacher, my parents nor some kind of career councilor. Unless you’re volunteering for all of those roles because the police department doesn’t pay you enough."

[forsakenconvict]

"Uh...yeah? That was kind of what I meant when I said 'a joke'. Take life too seriously and you'll start balding early! If it really hurt your feelings THAT badly, I guess I'm sorry, but I didn't take you for a softie, kid."

"--And hey, I get paid as much as every other dick here. I'm makin' it my business because I care about you, you know? You're a young, good lookin' girl, and I'd hate to see you waste your life away..."