There is this guy that has been asking me to go get some coffee for the past two months, but I have been constantly putting him off.Â
He is my type of cute, funny, and he has the same taste and interests as me. He seems pretty close to perfect. So why do i keep postponing?Â
I honestly do not feel good enough for him. I feel that I am not at my best right now,physically. I have always been someone who is really insecure and that always throws me off when it comes to going on first dates.Â
I am so close to finally just blowing him off for good and just telling him to call back when Iâm hot...or at least until I feel hot.Â
I still feel like I look like Iâm 15 even though Iâm 21. I feel that 21 year olds my age are so developed and gorgeous. I, on the other hand am only 5â˛1, pale as fuck, with B-cups. The only thing i got going for me physically is probably my colored eyes, not to mention an ass that wonât quit. Just kidding about the ass part, although I have had some people compliment it.Â
Anyways, after having a lovely, playful conversation, he once more invited me to get coffee and brought up how i am always busy.Â
I responded with âWell thatâs not the only reason why Iâve been putting you off.âÂ
he responded with âReally? why is that?âÂ
I have yet to respond...Â
I am not sure if i should respond with the honest truth of how I feel. I mean itâs kind of hard to go back on it right?Â
Will telling him, âI think youâre too good looking for me,â enlarge his ego? I mean thatâs obviously  going to show how insecure i am and that is not attractive to any guy.Â
I am pretty conflicted right now, but if I donât tell him the truth I am just going to seem like a jerk for constantly bailing on him.Â
Ali and Andrew were college sweethearts who dated for seven years and then broke up two years ago. See what happens when they sit down face-to-face to talk h...
Ok, so I was scrolling down Buzzfeed and I came across a video that caught my eye. Before I pressed play, I came across a warning informing me that this video may cause tears. I went ahead and continued on with watching the video anyway,thinking I was strong enough to handle it.Â
The first part of the video,involves the couple spending time reminiscing on all the bad times. Ali asks Andrew what caused him to cheat on her so much during the relationship. The topic only caused Ali to cry and the whole thing just made me uncomfortable. As the couple proceeded with the experiment they started to relive all of the good moments. Some of the questions asked included, âDo you remember the first time we met?â and âWhy do you still want to remain friends with me?âÂ
Seeing the couple smile and laugh about all the good memories they shared made me smile as well. Iâd be lying if i said I did not see a little of myself and my ex in the two of them. The final question is what got me to absolutely lose it and bust out in tears. His response was âBecause I miss you so much.â
The reason why this made me cry wasnât because I miss my ex in a romantic way, that is not the case at all. I am to the point in my life where I have stopped having any romantic feelings for him. I do however, miss our friendship. My ex and I were together for almost 4 years. He took on a crucial role in my growing up process.  I can honestly say that to ME, he was my best friend. I miss going to concerts, movies, and staying in watching âour showsâ together.Â
Again I have to remind you that I do NOT miss him in a romantic way. I just wish that we could remain FRIENDS. I wish we could hang out without there being any animosity between us. I mean as far as me, I hold no bitter feelings toward him. Iâve reached a stage in my life where I am just âwhateverâ about it.Â
He is not the same person I fell in love with 4 years ago, and for that I do not miss our romantic relationship. He can not fulfill what i need as far as what i want out of a boyfriend. I may not be able to do the same with him as well and i am ok with that. I do feel that we can sustain a good friendship if we do not let our past get in the way of it.Â
This is something I have wanted for a while, and have actually talked to him about before. The problem is that HE cannot be âjust friendsâ with me. He told me that if we were to remain in each otherâs lives he would not want me talking to or âhooking upâ with other guys. I, on the other hand am completely ok with him having other girlfriends. If anything, I would help him out and give him advice on how to not screw things up again and make things work this time around with them. If he can just put his feelings aside and move on I hope that we can somehow become friends.Â
This video made me realize that I just really miss our friendship. I miss our jokes, the memories, the laughs. There is actually a huge part of me that wants to call him right now and tell him that, but i know it wouldnât be right. I also donât want him getting the idea that i âmiss him, miss him.â I also donât want his girlfriend thinking that either.Â
I would not mind doing this experiment with him though. If i could ask him one question I guess it would be
âIf you couldâve done one thing differently, what would it have been?âÂ
I constantly bend over backwards for people and all I get is the short end of the stick. Iâm done though. No one was there for me when I needed someone. I always make more of an effort for others than they do for me and it gets me no where. All that ends up happening is I get walked all over.Â
When someone invites me somewhere I cancel my own plans to accommodate theirs. I hate telling people No because i do not want to hurt their feelings, but it seems like everyone else has no problem hurting mine.Â
I also hate when a friend drops you just because they are no longer single. The same guy you are ditching me for is the same guy that was talking and flirting with other girls behind your back, but you still want to make him your only priority? Thatâs fine because youâre no longer mine.Â
Itâs time I start being more selfish and be more selective with whom I choose to invest my time and feelings in. Â I need better friends, better people in my life.Â
I have officially gone off the grid. It started with me deactivating my Facebook a few weeks ago and today I have deleted my Twitter and Instagram apps from my phone. Still debating on whether to keep my Snapchat or not. The only reason I havenât deleted it yet is because not much interaction goes on in there. I will keep my Tumblr seeing as how I follow no one I know and no one I know follows me. This site will serve as a place for me to vent to no one but myself.Â
The reason I have decided to do this is because I just need a break from the social media world. I find that i am much more happier not knowing what others are doing every Saturday night while I am stuck at home blogging or watching The Office. Why would I want to look at others âturn upâ from the comfort of my own couch? What does that even do for me? Also, why should I care about what other people who I have not talked to since high school are up to these days? I mean I donât expect them to care about whatâs new in MY life.Â
Aside from staying away from other social media outlets, I will also refrain from texting. I will probably make an exception when it comes to phone calls, if its important people usually call instead of texting. 99% of the time though, my phone will more than likely be on DO NOT DISTURB.Â
I just need a fresh start. Not all, but a good majority of the people in my life suck. With that being said, I am in a way trying to rid myself of the toxins and start over fresh.Â
Taken from the Neighbourhoodâs #000000 & #FFFFFF Mixtape Download #icanteven on iTunes: http://smarturl.it/icanteven Music video by The Neighbourhood perform...
You said I wasnât just like anyone, but you treated me just like everyone else.
 Are there drunk text message templates that I was not aware of?I feel that every guy sends the same thing.Three times in one week I was hit with a drunk call from three different people.Â
Itâs different when itâs Alex Turner though... (;Â
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