jamie @fotoess - Tumblr Blog

if you find bones in the forest, sit a bit and listen. they are old and have some good stories to tell. maybe they’ll teach you a spell or two, or explain where the water on our planet came from.

if you find bones by the ocean, run. don’t look back. run, faster, faster. the sea may love you but there are nights where she knows neither mercy nor science, and the bones warn you only once.

torrythetorry

boi if you find bones call the police i hate this website so much

tastefullyoffensive

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Hedgehog ferociously battles a shower curtain.

babyanimalgifs

When he tries to kiss you after an argument

writtenrain

Shit I’ve Heard High Schoolers Say

Why stop at capitalism? Destroy everything.

Guys it’s been three weeks since I’ve eaten a vegetable

At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence

An AP student: Oh my god I thought seven was less than six

(while filling the cap of their water bottle with water) SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

friend one: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou- friend two: probably

I’M GONNA GO HOME AND DRINK A WHOLE GLASS OF WEED

If cows ruled the world would they drink human milk?

student: my calculator is broken teacher: your calculator isn’t broken, you’re broken

no actually I think you have to be of age to be considered a cougar

(during math class on the second floor) student 1: so like how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground? student 2: enough

teacher: has anyone ever been to New Orleans? Student: does Popeyes count?

my word count on this paper isn’t very high but I certainly am

we’re in adult limbo. I’m not a teen and I’m not an adult. I’M SUFFERING, THAT’S WHAT I AM!

Look at my… (swings leg up to show shorts) not pants

ithelpstodream

celestialbee

its 2017, we’re discovering new earthlike planets, rogue nasa is out there doing its thing. my dudes. here it is. the beginning of starfleet

nkdsjfeopfjsidgk

concept: i travel back in time to the year 1878. i interrupt a very fancy high class ball. i set down a boombox and the spice girls’ wannabe plays. i throw the fuck down. pandemonium ensues.

captainsnoop-deactivated2020041

So if you wanna know where the US is as a country, Fox News (donnie’s news network of choice) recently made up a Swedish official and had him speak on TV.

Just, y’know, fabricated a member of the Swedish government in order to push their narrative.

Cuz that’s where we’re at now.

restekova

a source a source a source

this is fucking terrifying

coolfayebunny

This is something I can’t even process. Well I can but, wtf ?

torchwoodpride

I speak Swedish, and Swedish media have done their research: Nils Bildt is a Swedish immigrant to the US, where he has a conviction. He is not a member of the Swedish givernment, he is not employed by the Swedish Miniatries, or in any way known to be an analyst of security issues. Nils Bildt himself claims that the textual header making him “Swedish Defence and National Security Advisor” was set up by the Fox News editor and he himself had nothing to do with that.

Interesting, isn’t it?

I’m linking the Swedish newspapers who have already responded to this online:

Dagens Nyheter has an article in English: http://www.dn.se/nyheter/varlden/fake-sweden-expert-on-fox-news-has-criminal-convictions-in-us-no-connection-to-swedish-security/

The following are in Swedish: http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/a/5apqe/fox-news-slappte-fram-okand-bildt

https://www.gp.se/nyheter/sverige/ok%C3%A4nd-bildt-vittnar-om-trumps-p%C3%A5st%C3%A5enden-1.4172520

oneiriad

I’ll sit over here and find it ironic that FOX News had an immigrant who is a convicted criminal speak about crime and immigration. Also, I’m pretty sure it must be some sort of crime to present a person as associated with a foreign government when he isn’t? Fraud?

Actually, this entire current “let’s turn Sweden into a horror story” thing that seems to be going on in the USA would be ridiculous and absurd, except it’s kinda scary. Is Trump and the right “just” building a scary image to legitimize their own anti-immigration policies, or is it at some point going to escalate into armed interventions in an “obviously destabilized country” or something like that?

klingoff

hell is right-clicking to save an image and accidentally clicking ‘email image’ and having to wait forty years for some email program you didn’t even know existed to rise from its slumber like some lovecraftian ancient god, meanwhile the fans on your laptop are preparing for takeoff and you stare dead-eyed as the rainbow spirals, spirals, spirals. you wait and suffer this cosmic karma. days pass. “just a few more seconds” you slur. your laptop freezes and the concept of time is no longer comprehensible. your family and friends forget your name and you fade from existence.

joyousnuance

The Infinite Jukebox

Hello, Tumblr. See this thing?

It is the best goddamned thing you’ve seen all day.

Say hello to the Infinite Jukebox, an experiment in looping songs. See those curves cutting through the circle? What this bad boy does is analyze the song for similar beats and sounds, then randomly skips between said beats forever.

Yes, you heard me. Forever. With this piece of musical genius, you can literally play the same song for as long as you want - It will create the song that never ends.

Some examples include:

Technologic by Daft Punk

Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley

Sail by AWOLNATION

And if that’s not enough, you can upload your own MP3s to this bitch and it’ll loop those as well.

Have fun, kids.

thismysfit-blog

heads up - you can’t put this in a tab in chrome, then switch to a different tab and forget about it, because it’ll stop. But if you open it in its own window it’ll happily go on indefinitely.

deactivated-122321

INFINITE WHATS NEW PUSSYCATS

bluerats

YOU COULD DO ANYTHING WITH THIS TECHNOLOGY BUT YOU DO THAT WHYYYY

nikaalexandra

OKAY SIT DOWN SHUT UP, WE’RE GONNA TALK COLORS

THIS IS SAPPHIRE

THIS IS TEAL

THIS IS PERIWINKLE

THIS IS AZURE

AND THIS IS TURQUOISE

WONDER WHY THOSE ALL DON’T LOOK LIKE THE SAME COLOR? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT

OTHER THAN BEING PART OF THE SAME FAMILY OF BLUES, THEY ARE NOT ALL THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! WHY WOULD THEY ALL BE THE SAME FUCKING COLOR! DO YOU THINK WE JUST NAME NEW COLORS FOR KICKS!?!?!?

WHEN DESCRIBING A CHARACTER’S GOD FORSAKEN EYE COLOR, PICK ONE YA GODDAMN HIPPIE