Four Leaves, No Soul

Navigating the world as we are

[fourleavesnosouls]

Phrases with weirdly threatening auras:

"She keeps drawing hands."

[fourleavesnosouls]

'Classically trained clown' literally means 'Couldn't afford to go to clown college.'

That's the whole joke. I've been asked about it a few times over the past 20 years, usually by people who are either not clowns, or are clowns in places where school is free/low cost.

Most USian clowns I know have understood, or have heard the joke.

So now you know.

You gotta laugh. La commedia è finita.

-Zu

[fourleavesnosouls]

Every year, my body breaks down a little bit more, and I have to come to terms with the fact that I can do just a bit less.

I can barely even cook anymore. My art has to be done in short bursts. I only completed two original songs this year, and one of them was about a series of books I liked as a child that I didn't know got super racists in book 3.

Eh. I don't know. Life's hard.

-JJ

[fourleavesnosouls]

Those hetero 'I hate my partner' shirts but instead it says 'I love my partner'

-alice

[remspeedwagon]

Welp.

I missed my rent payment this month. And now landlords are knocking on my door with threats, while there's literally snow on the ground. Please, I'm swallowing my pride and begging for help.

Support Rem

Support Rem

[fourleavesnosouls]

I've always found schizophrenics to make more sense, except during the times we can't make sense.

[thebibliosphere]

When you’re chronically ill and your body throws a new “check engine light” into the mix. Like hello??? Is this a new symptom of an existing thing, a new symptom of a new thing, or a secret third thing that’ll send you to the ER at 4am.

Guess we’ll find out!

[fourleavesnosouls]

I really wish I could afford Kontakt 8. It's on half price today and is still about $100 above what I could excuse as Work Budget.

Fuck. Being a digital musician sucks 'cause most of us can't afford to be digital musicians.

-jj

[scutesketch]

YOUR ART ON TUMBLR IS BEING USED TO TRAIN AI!

The setting that prevents your work being used to train AI models is turned off by default! I had no idea about this until now! Artists, go to your settings, click “visibility”, and turn on this setting! Protect your work!

[fourleavesnosouls]

I know I need to write a mutual aid post on this unfamiliar platform, but I don't know how.

Every time I have asked about it thus far, I've gotten either a creeper or a scammer looking for a low-hanging mark.

But we're going to try it this way. To the point, painless as possible:

We're $488 short of meeting budget, including meds, doctor, supplies, and groceries. Our household's benefits are stretched past the breaking point. We're already not going to have a holiday celebration, and our water heater is broken.

Please help. We've generally done this on the fediverse, but this month we're so close to our deadlines with so much left to go that I have to branch out to what is still a relatively unknown community. We need this by December 1st at which point... Well, we'll have to do it all over again, I guess. I feel like I'm circling the drain.

Paypal (Quick, easy, familiar)

Patreon (I've been writing music again and I hope to have another track out shortly)

I will not accept an e-check or anything else like that. I do know the popular scams, and I've no sympathy for anyone who'd steal prescription money from someone who could die without it.

Thank you for reading.

-jj

[fourleavesnosouls]

Edit: 11/27/2025

We're now $278 short, which is a big leap! Thank you to the few who've boosted and/or given.

Patreon update: The new track, 'Hole in the Sky,' is up now, and I'm very proud of it. $10 tier gets unlimited access - tracks get moved down to the $5 tier after a week or whenever I think of it.

Please reblog.

-jj

[fourleavesnosouls]

Hole in the Sky

New #song completed. Hole in the Sky is now on the Patreon $10 tier.

Hole in the Sky | If, When? Why.

Get more from If, When? Why. on Patreon

The previous track (You're a Lone Wolf) is moving to the $5 tier.

Please check it out and enjoy.

I'm starting to move beyond just coping with the loss of my pitch.

-jj

[sillyandquiteawkward]

shout out to the sex repulsed asexuals. the asexuals who are asexual from trauma. the asexuals who will not be at the orgy handing out water. the asexuals who are not writing the kinkiest smut youve ever read. i love you.

[sillyandquiteawkward]

you don't ever have to have sex. it's not what makes us human, sex does not define us. you are not abusive for having boundaries nor are you needing to be fixed. you have worth beyond what you can do in bed. I love you.

[fourleavesnosouls]

Crying a bit

[fourleavesnosouls]

I know I need to write a mutual aid post on this unfamiliar platform, but I don't know how.

Every time I have asked about it thus far, I've gotten either a creeper or a scammer looking for a low-hanging mark.

But we're going to try it this way. To the point, painless as possible:

We're $488 short of meeting budget, including meds, doctor, supplies, and groceries. Our household's benefits are stretched past the breaking point. We're already not going to have a holiday celebration, and our water heater is broken.

Please help. We've generally done this on the fediverse, but this month we're so close to our deadlines with so much left to go that I have to branch out to what is still a relatively unknown community. We need this by December 1st at which point... Well, we'll have to do it all over again, I guess. I feel like I'm circling the drain.

Paypal (Quick, easy, familiar)

Patreon (I've been writing music again and I hope to have another track out shortly)

I will not accept an e-check or anything else like that. I do know the popular scams, and I've no sympathy for anyone who'd steal prescription money from someone who could die without it.

Thank you for reading.

-jj

[fourleavesnosouls]

New WIP is up on the $15 tier. Calling it Hole in the Sky. The vocals are not ready yet, but that's the next trick.

Hole in the Sky (WIP) | If, When? Why.

Get more from If, When? Why. on Patreon

-jj

[thebibliosphere]

They should make bodies that don't hurt.

[fourleavesnosouls]

10,000 times this. I really want to know what it feels like to not feel pain.

[fourleavesnosouls]

New song up on Patreon at the $10 tier! You're a Lone Wolf (The Song Where YOU Are the Hero!) is complete. It's a fan/tribute work to the gamebooks 'Lone Wolf: The Book Where YOU Are the Hero! created with the Utau voice Kumi Hitsune and a few days of finger-bleeding work.

Music is beautiful. I'll be moving the next few tracks I make to the free tier after they've been paid for a couple of weeks.

-jj

You're a Lone Wolf (The Song Where YOU Are the Hero!) | If, When? Why.

Get more from If, When? Why. on Patreon

[fourleavesnosouls]

Woke up with a migraine. Very rude of my brain to short-circuit.