omg it’s dr. roberta bobby, author of one of my favorite tweets ever written
Omg she wrote one of my favorites also

oozey mess
Cosmic Funnies

if i look back, i am lost
Jules of Nature
NASA

izzy's playlists!
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
h
YOU ARE THE REASON
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
almost home

roma★
sheepfilms
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Claire Keane
noise dept.
occasionally subtle
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
DEAR READER

Origami Around

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@fourtythousanddollars
omg it’s dr. roberta bobby, author of one of my favorite tweets ever written
Omg she wrote one of my favorites also
its rlly rlly funny to be in a group text with apple users as an android user
due to popular demand you can now stream the Slur Song for free without Spotify, using my new streaming service slurify.co
Pretty amazing that the website dedicated entirely to streaming slurs is somehow more ethical than spotify
nothing bad is ever going to happen to me ever because I am not real
This is fucking killing me. Like what
I think flinching is such a hit or miss reflex. Like yea a tiny bit of boiling water touched my hand but i dont think reflexivly throwing the water everywhere is a good defensive measure perhaps. might be even worse actually
once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)
worst concert venue ever
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.
ohh yeah im a real piece of shit 👍 job please
dude, this is really scary, and liminal as well. It's like the bathrooms
the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system
1) any stretching is better than no stretching
2) any vegetable is better than no vegetable
3) statistically you will never be the worst person at anything, there is always someone in the world who is worse at stuff than you are
I am producing enzymes you wouldn’t BELIEVE right now