Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Not today Justin
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Andulka

ellievsbear

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
we're not kids anymore.
will byers stan first human second

tannertan36
i don't do bad sauce passes
tumblr dot com
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
dirt enthusiast
cherry valley forever
sheepfilms

Love Begins

★
Claire Keane

roma★
NASA
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seen from United States
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@foxienews
And even when it’s something that happens in the Middle East it’s because of America
It fucking astounds me how many people completely understand “being treated like a child is horrible” but never reach the very logical conclusion of “we should not treat children like that”
The new Audible Harry Potter series is bad in uncomplicated, straightforward ways.
It is bad because it supports a woman who is actively funding groups that are seeking to deprive trans people of their rights in the UK and especially Scotland, where I live, where people inside the government are quietly remarking that they are struggling to fight against the groups she funds, as she has more money than God. Any money made from this new audio adaptation goes directly to funding these groups and these cases.
It is also bad because commissioning such an expansive series with such a well-known cast (Riz Ahmed?! Come on man) has eaten up the majority of Audible's commissioning budget. In the UK, the only people commissioning audio drama are the BBC (separate conversation) and Audible, and this new Harry Potter series has hoovered up resources that could have otherwise gone to new stories, new voices and money to creators that aren't actively trying to erase trans people.
I am angry at anyone who signed up to star in this, I am angry at the production companies that took on this commission, I am angry that this series continues to have a stranglehold on the UK media landscape despite all that its creator has done.
It is bad for trans people, it is bad for audio drama, it is bad for anyone working in media in the UK right now.
Do not listen to it
black with high white spotting
At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.
Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.
The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"
I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.
Our flight is delayed.
He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.
I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".
Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.
Uh oh.
Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.
The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.
He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.
HE RECORDED THE CONVERSATION IN WHICH SHE PROMISED TO PAY FOR THE CHEESE, SHE'S THAT MUCH OF A FLAKE.
I am about to offer this man cash for some of these cheeses because our flight is now more delayed.
"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."
"OR ELSE WHAT?"
"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"
"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"
"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"
"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"
"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"
*hangs up phone*
*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*
The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.
"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"
Naturally, I have volunteered my box of wheat thins and offered to buy one of the harder cheeses which should be fine if it makes it home.
Meanwhile, Kirigumi has noticed that the Shiba Inu is staring at her and is correctly intimidated.
1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.
2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.
3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.
"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say
"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."
"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.
4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.
"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.
"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"
"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"
"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."
"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."
"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"
"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.
"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.
Plane may be arriving. I am paying for in flight WiFi to keep y'all updated.
1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.
2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.
3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.
4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.
5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.
Ok so the Wifi wasn't working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:
Now that I've heard the word aloud, and they are an astrophysicist. Who correctly believes in being comfy as fuck on planes. They are also familar with the concept of a meet-cute and is rooting for them too.
Got to walk the nice lady and her Tactical Assault Shiba to her next gate because it was on the way out and talk for a bit. Donut is called that not because he is the color of a Donut (which he is) but because he likes to sleep curled up in a perfect circle. He has a sister who does the same thing named Bagel.
Lost track of Pinot and Cheeseguy for a bit but when I saw them again at Baggage claim, Cheeseguy was holding both their jackets, and Pinot was on the phone to his hotel about "Well do you have any rooms with TWO beds?". The rest of the call indicated that yes, there were rooms with two beds, but Readers, I Had A Moment.
:)
Anyway, it's 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!
Happy (late) Pride Month to Cheese Guy and Pinot Blanc
Genuinely surreal that my brother @edwardspoonhands, despite having eighteen jobs and making six videos a week et cetera, also co-created the sixth most popular app in the world.
(Good app, too. I use it daily.)
Do you think John Green uses John Bean? Or Hank Bean?
My younger brother was going on about how he was a big stupid idiot so went “the fuck did you say about my brother you son of a bitch?” and the confused fear stopped the self-deprecation in its tracks so in conclusion I will now be intimidating my loved ones into self-love for the foreseeable future
Effetto ottico impressionante 😲😉😁
If I concentrate, I see through the illusion. If I relax my eyes, I see the full effect.
I am really enjoying reading about the University of Wisconsin chancellor fired after the university discovered all the pornos he and his wife were making.
Generally when someone has a public sex scandal (or “scandal”) you get the standard “I am sorry. I regret it. It was a misjudgment on my part” but this guy is like “fuck you I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t violate conflict of interest clauses, you are violating my first amendment rights”
SEXY HEALTHY COOKING
I want to see this legal battle
We can’t do anything about hate speech but if there is consensual sexual activity involved!
I want the details about how this was discovered because it has a real “I saw the professor at the devil’s sacrament” “girl what were YOU doing at the devil’s sacrament 👀" vibe
I know this is funny haha to a lot of people but I need yall to really internalize that this is a gentle example of what happens to sex workers. This is a white man in his 50s who turned to sex work for fun and lost his professional career. Now imagine how fucked it is for disabled impoverished sex workers to advertise themselves in a way that separates their identities and lives from their real ones because if they can't they're barred from most other jobs if ANYONE happens to find out. Aside from jobs, imagine how this affects custody battles and abuse cases and housing availability. Maybe it seems like everyone and their dog has an onlyfans and a pornhub channel and things are cool now, but we live under a christofash oligarchy and sex workers will always be trampled and spat on by most of society. This story is absurd but this isn't funny at all.
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I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.
BLAZE REJECTED MY POST WOW LOL
We'll make sure at least 100k people see it for free then.
I see a lot of ‘cis’ women say they wish they were androgynous in the way men were or they wish they were pretty in the way men were. This is your sign to go try to do that. You may find you enjoy being an androgynous woman. You may find you no longer identify as a woman. You may find you don’t like androgyny. You will not know until you try. Cut your hair if you’ve always wanted to but have been afraid to. Shop in the men’s section if you’ve been too nervous to. Wear clothing with an androgynous  silhouette. Experiment with binding, take baby steps with compression bras if you want. Wear unisex scents. Live life. Try things you want to try. A lot of cis women do not understand the joys of mens pants and mens deodorant. I think everyone should try both of those things.
(via @monimolimnion)
[screenshot of tags which read:
#much more comfortable being a woman when I realised it literally doesn’t have to mean anything #unlock cis+ it’s good for you]
Trans people don't own gender. We stole it the way Prometheus stole fire, so it would be available to everyone.
stuffed animal contest
Attackers explain how an anti-spam defense became an AI weapon.
love that energy
editing is so funny because it's like "damn, i wrote 'before' two times within three paragraphs. they are going to stone me in the town square for this"