I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:
IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.
1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.
2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.
3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”
4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”
5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.
TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.
Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.
Avengers AU - If Tony was Peter’s biological father
Tony is super protective of his son. And Peter, inspired by his dad, becomes Spiderman anyway (his dad and his Uncle Rhodey figure him out in a second though).
y’all: peter was able to stop bucky’s fist in civil war bc bucky heard peter’s voice, realized he was a child, then weakened his punch bc he was so worried about hurting a child uwu
me, eating pistachios: y’all know peter can canonically lift up to 75 tons, right. y’all know bucky’s fist is easy as hell for peter to block, right. y’all know bucky didn’t know shit about peter being a child and was just shocked that someone was able to so easily block his punch, right. y’all know that, right.
naw fuck that bucky’s punches aren’t easy to block, it’s WAY funnier if peter blocked a full force punch from bucky, who only a few seconds later realizes he’s a kid as soon as peter opens his mouth
that’s the face of a man who went from “holy shit he blocked my punch?” to “holY SHiT a 12 YEARoLD BLOCKED mY PUNCH???” in 3 seconds flat.
I did the being edgy and self-deprecating thing, it gets old. I wanna be soft and lovely and easily impressed. I wanna appreciate all the little things that make me happy the same way I’ve dwelled on every single thing that upsets me.
After the muggle World War, all the positions in the Ministry got shuffled around. Evermonde was kicked out of office after Henry Potter’s negative comments about him. No one wanted to re-elect him afterwards. The new Minister wasn’t any better though. McLair out of all people in the world somehow became Minister and you had a feeling he wouldn’t be one for long. The man was so incredibly irritating. He refused to speak in anything but monosyllables and puffs of smoke from his wand.
Not only was the Minister different but the Heads of all the Departments got changed. The wizengamot got changed (Potter kept his seat), Magical Regulations Department got restructured, positions in the Department of Magical Games and Sports became up for grabs, you became an International Confederation for Wizards delegate, and there was a new Head Auror.
You were the youngest delegate that had ever been appointed to the ICW and it was difficult to prove yourself to the older and so-called ‘wiser’ delegates. The new Head Auror was a lot of help however. Theseus Scamander was the youngest Head Auror ever. On your first day he knocked on your door during lunch and asked how you were doing. It had surprised you a lot but the action was appreciated. It was nice to know someone had your back.
“Hey, how long are you going to stay here?” Henry asked leaning against your door frame. The two of you had gone to school together and he had been the winning vote to get you onto the ICW. He made it a point to visit you every day to make sure he didn’t make the wrong decision.
“Just until I figure this out. MACUSA’s angry again,” you sighed letting your cheek rest on the palm of your hand. Papers were stacked all over the place and they only grew. The more you did the more the workload seemed to grow.
“There’s just no satisfying them sometimes,” mused Henry glancing at one of the papers flying around the room. You made a face and a quill poked Henry on the cheek.
“Confidential, Potter,” you warned as he glared.
“I--”
“Voted you onto this position,” you finished with a careless wave of your hand, “yes, yes. I know. It’s still strictly confidential.”
“Fine. Just don’t stay here too late,” huffed Henry flicking the quill away from his face and shutting the door. For a few hours you worked diligently. Being in the ICW was important and your every blunder would create chaos. People were watching your every move. No one took Minister McLair seriously so all eyes fell on you instead. Minister work slowly started getting handed down to you instead of McLair which frustrated you to no end. You didn’t want to be Minister and you never will. Being in the ICW was already good enough.
A soft chime from the clock tower a few blocks away from the Ministry made you realize that it was one in the morning. All the papers flew back onto your desk and the quills dropped into the marble quill holder Henry had given you a few months back. After grabbing your coat you started walking through the deserted Ministry. The dark hollowness of the place was almost eerie. You would’ve been more on guard and jumpy if not for the soft light coming from Theseus’s office.
Furrowing your eyebrows, you slowly opened his door and poked your head in. Theseus had fallen asleep on his desk, papers scattered everywhere just like it had been in your office. Walking forwards quietly, you waved your wand and stacked his papers as organized as you could before grabbing his large grey coat. Throwing it around his shoulders, you shook him softly.
“Theseus? Wake up,” you said softly. His eyes slowly opened and he groggily lifted his head off his arms. It took a moment for him to regain his bearings and figure out where he was.
“What’s the time?” he asked sleepily.
“1am, you should go home.”
“Right,” he said with a yawn. Theseus stood up and slowly shrugged on his coat before flicking all the lights off. The two of you walked through the Ministry in silent. You could tell by his slow sluggish steps that he was still half-asleep. Both of you paused once you were out of the anti-apparition wards.
“You shouldn’t apparate, you’re obviously too tired,” you said turning to face him. Theseus’s head jerked slightly. He had definitely been nodding off slightly. “How long have you gone without sleep?”
“Not long,” he mumbled averting his eyes.
“Theseus,” you warned.
“Two days.”
“Theseus!” He winced and you grabbed onto his arm. You didn’t trust him to hold onto you in his groggy sleep-deprived state. “Work is important but so is your health. We need a Head Auror, Theseus, not some sleepy senseless giraffe.”
“Giraffe,” Theseus said with an amused exhale. Even though his eyes were heavy-lidded he still looked amused.
“Yes. Giraffe,” you huffed before apparating to his apartment. You had been there once when you brought him some soup when he got sick. Theseus nearly tripped over himself walking up the front steps and you held onto his arm tighter. "Where are your keys?”
“My... pocket?” Theseus mumbled confused as he sleepily reached into his coat pockets. You sighed and slipped your hand underneath his coat and into the pocket of his suit. Your fingers found the cool metal of his keys and you quickly unlocked his door.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed,” you said placing his keys on the table next to the door. He lumbered to his room as you locked his door. Going to his room, you noticed how he had laid on his bed with his coat and shoes on. “You’re a real piece of work Scamander. Come on, coat off.”
Slowly you pulled his coat off of him and took his shoes off. You hung the coat in his closet and placed his shoes next to his bed before turning back to examine him. After a moment of thought you undid his tie and pulled his suit jacket off. She knew he’d be irritated in the morning if he realized he had wrinkled his suit in his sleep. His waistcoat was the last to go before she grabbed a blanket out of his closet and placed it over him. By that time it was nearly 2am.
Did you really mind though? Theseus looked adorable asleep. His normally well tamed hair was wild and all over the place and he looked truly peaceful. He’d do he same for you if he found you asleep in your office. Making your way to his fireplace, you yawned and went home.
A knock on the door made you make a face and pause. The little sleep you had gotten the night before had already made you easily irritated, you really didn’t need Henry bugging you again.
“Potter I swear to all the Hogwarts founders I will kill you if you patronize me again,” you sighed aggravated as you glared at the cheeky man at your door. His smile widened at your irritation and he strode forwards until he was standing in front of your desk.
“Don’t be so hostile, after all, I--”
“I KNOW!”
“I brought you coffee.”
“What?” you asked blinking. Had you heard right? Was the Henry Potter, the insufferable Gryffindor brat actually giving you coffee? It was definitely a trick of some sort. He wasn’t holding anything either. “Where is it then?”
“I didn’t say I had the coffee. Scamander has your coffee. I just brought him here,” said Henry with a casual shrug. “He was loitering around your door for a couple minutes so I decided to help the man out. Play nice alright? After all, I vote you onto this position.”
You shot him a dirty glare as he winked at you and sauntered out the door. A few moments later Theseus appeared at her door with a cup of coffee in his hands and a sheepish expression on his face.
“Morning,” he said walking in.
“Morning,” you responded with a small smile. You preferred having Theseus in your office over Henry any day. “How’d you sleep?”
“Well,” he chuckled before offering you the coffee, “this is for you. Thanks for helping me home last night. You’ve helped me out a lot, from caring for me when I was sick to bringing me home.”
“Well, you didn’t get me liquid happiness when you got sick and I took care of you,” you joked as you took the cup gratefully. He chuckled and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his suit.
When Christmas came around the air in the Avengers Facility shifted. There was suddenly a burst of excitement and people were rushing around putting up decorations. Bucky woke up one day, opened the door, and nearly got hit in the face by a dangling piece of mistletoe. Needless to day, he was not feeling the holiday spirit that day.
“Hey Manchurian Candidate!” Tony shouted from his spot on top of a step ladder. He was being forced by Pepper to decorate the Christmas tree. A cardboard box was thrown at him and Bucky quickly caught it. “Hang these up somewhere!”
Bucky scowled but opened it up and found Christmas stockings. There was one for each of the Avengers and some for others. He found one for Sharon Carter, Jane Foster, and even Peter Parker. It seemed as if everyone was coming. The last one in the box was yours. He stared at it for a moment in surprise before hanging it next to Wanda’s.
“Surprised?” Steve asked walking over. He had been working on arranging the fairylights with Sam. Bucky frowned but shrugged. “You should get her a present.”
“Why should I?” Bucky asked even though he already knew the answer. You had been at the Facility multiple times before. After all, you were Stark Industries’ Head of Publicity. You had been the one who kept people happy and at bay.
“I know you like her Buck, it’s obvious,” deadpanned Steve with a smirk.
“Shut up,” he mumbled with a glare, “what am I supposed to get her anyways? We’ve barely even talked.”
“She doesn’t hate you, at least.”
“Yeah well she probably doesn’t even remember I exist,” he grumbled as he roughly folded up the cardboard box. Natasha, who had been setting up arrays of poinsettias, smirked and looked up at them.
“How can she not?” she asked, catching their attention. “Your case was a pain in the ass.”
Natasha and you were surprisingly close. It surprised everyone, including Tony and Pepper. After all, you were sweet, kind, and always so trusting. Natasha was the complete opposite. You confided in her all your secrets and feelings. When Bucky first came to live at the Facility you had been put in charge of clearing up his name. It hadn’t been an easy job.
“Great,” Bucky grumbled as he lumbered back to his room, “now I’m just a burden.”
On Christmas Eve, you flew in from LA all the way to New York. You had expected to do a little bit of late Christmas shopping with Natasha and play cards with Tony and Steve. When you got there, everyone was gone.
“FRIDAY?” you asked in confusion. “Where’d everyone go?”
“Mission,” said a gruff voice before the AI even had a chance to process her question. You turned around and noticed Bucky sitting on the couch by the fake fire. There was no way would Tony allow a real open fire. “SHIELD called for it an hour ago.”
“You didn’t go?” you asked curiously. Usually Bucky and Steve were the first to jump at a new mission. Natasha was much more subtle and Tony hated doing what he was told. Bruce was probably there as an on-hand medic while the New Avengers were there for more experience.
“Steve uh, he asked me to stay behind this time,” said Bucky uncomfortably. He then noticed the suitcases and bags you had and quickly jumped up. “I can get those.”
“Thanks,” you answered before leading the way to your room. It was a really just an over-personalized guest room. Tony had tried to get you to move in many times but you were insistent on staying in your little studio apartment in LA or the industrial loft apartment you had in lower Manhattan. “I’m going to go do some last minute Christmas shopping, you’re welcome to join me if you want.”
Bucky’s heart beat faster as he remembered Steve’s words. Go get her a Christmas present. I’m not allowing you to go on any missions unless you get her something. Anything. How was he supposed to get you a present without you noticing?
“Sure,” he said weakly. You didn’t notice however and readjusted your scarf and coat before smiling up at him. It made Bucky nearly trip over his feet as he followed you out the door. Even though he was a 6ft 220 pound ex-HYDRA assassin with a metal arm you looked at him as if he was a normal person, as if he was a friend. He supposed it was why you were so good at your job, you saw the good in everyone.
“Did you already finish Christmas shopping?” you asked as the two of you made your way down to the garage. You were sure Tony wouldn’t mind if you decided to use one the of the Facility cars.
“Yeah, I just need to get one more thing,” he answered stuffing his hands in his pockets. The drive to the city was quiet until you started singing along to the Christmas carols. Glancing over, you gained a bit more confidence when you saw the small smile on his face. He started humming along with you and it quickly became a loud choir of two.
“I just need to get a present for Steve, Pepper, and Thor,” you said as you and Bucky walked through the streets of New York City. There were piles of snow everywhere from the storm the other night and kids running around tossing snowballs. Bucky reflexively swatted away a couple snowballs before they hit you without you noticing.
“I can help with Steve’s,” offered Bucky eyeing the large gaggle of elementary schoolers packing snow together. You glanced over your shoulder and giggled at his wary expression.
“Come on Sargeant, it’s cold,” you said making his eyes snap back to you. Christmas present shopping took a lot longer than either of them expected. Both you and Bucky kept getting distracted by things so it took the entire morning to find something for Pepper. After lunch, the two of you spent three more hours getting something for Steve and Thor. Bucky insisted on carrying the bags, even with your protests.
“Wow,” he muttered when he saw the Rockefeller Christmas tree. You stopped and stood by him as the two of you admired it. “I remember seeing the first Rockefeller Christmas tree, it definitely wasn’t this big.”
“It’s a lot prettier at night. We can come back and watch the Radio City Christmas Special too.”
“They still have those?” Bucky asked in awe. You nodded and suddenly spotted something. It was a jewelry shop you had passed by multiple times before. He noticed how you were getting distracted and followed you. His eyebrows raised when he saw you staring at a necklace. It wasn’t like the other necklaces in the store. Those were small and fancy with it’s delicate chain and glittering jewels. The necklace you were looking at was a thin circular disk with visible moving gears and a strong titanium chain.
“It reminds me of your arm,” you said glancing up at him with a smile, “it’s cool, right? I’ve been meaning to save up for it but you know, Christmas came around and I had to spend it all on presents.”
“Why would you want something that reminded you of my arm?” Bucky asked incredulously. He didn’t understand why you weren’t terrified of him like everyone else. Even during the busy last-minute shopping everyone still gave him a good two feet of space.
“Contrary to your opinion, I think your arm’s awesome,” you huffed shooting him a sharp look. He shifted uncomfortably under your gaze so you turned it back onto the necklace. “I’m going to get it one day. Just… not today I guess.”
You stood back up straight and gave it one last look before walking out. Bucky stared at the necklace, realizing that he could buy it for her. If she wanted it that bad, then he’d get it for her. He’d get anything for her.
His lips twitched in amused as he watched you eye the chestnuts wide-eyed. The velvet-lined box weighted down his pocket as he paid for the bag of chestnuts and placed it into your hands.
“Thanks,” you said gratefully as you ate one of the warm chestnuts. Bucky admired how the little snowflakes looked in your hair and how your cheeks were flushed from the cold. The scarf you wore nearly buried your face and he gently pushed it down so the fabric wouldn’t get in your mouth.
“S-sorry,” he stammered when his fingers accidentally brushed your lips. This time your blush wasn’t because of the cold. The two of you were quiet for a while, clouded in a storm of awkwardness. You quickly broke it however when you noticed the tree.
“Come on!” you exclaimed as you grabbed his real hand and dragged him over to the Rockefeller center. The awe on Bucky’s face made standing around in the cold completely worth it. His hand was also pretty warm too.
“It’s… it’s incredible doll,” he whispered breathlessly. The nickname simultaneously sent shivers down your spine and made you feel all warm inside. After a while, you checked your phone and realized what time it was.
“Hey, the show’s going to start soon, we should go in.”
“Wait,” he said still in the same spot. His hand gripped yours tighter to keep you by him. His hands then went to your shoulders and gently placed you in front of him so your back was to him. He unwrapped your scarf which made you shiver.
“Bucky? What are you doing?” you asked in confusion.
“Hold on,” he murmured before dropping something silver in front of you. Looking down, you gasped and stared at the necklace in shock. You couldn’t believe he bought it for you. It was incredibly expensive, there was a reason you hadn’t been able to buy it yourself.
“Oh my god, Bucky, I… I can’t believe you got this for me,” you said turning around to look up at him. His blue eyes were staring at you intently and swirling with emotions. You could pick out happiness and nervousness. “It’s so expensive though.”
“I know I just—” he swallowed as he searched for the proper words. It was hard, you just looked too damn beautiful with the snow falling so gently around you. Could he say it? He’d be leaving himself completely vulnerable to you. Eventually he decided to just blurt it out loud. “I like you.”
“I like you too, Buck,” you said with a smile. His eyebrows furrowed when he realized you weren’t understanding what he meant.
“No, no, I have feelings for you,” he clarified, noticing how your eyes widened in surprise. There was a moment of hesitation before he continued speaking. What did he have to lose now? He already told you that he liked you. Might as well go through with it. “You’re beautiful and so nice to me and everyone. You make me happy and you’re comfortable with me— I’m comfortable around you. I like you a lot, I think… I think I’m close to loving you.”
“Bucky…” you whispered before grabbing onto the lapels of his coat. Slowly you pushed yourself onto the tips of your toes and pressed your lips to his. Bucky’s hands wrapped around your waist to pull you closer, wrapping you up in his warmth. It was blissful. His strong warm body pressed against yours, the smell of chestnuts lulling you peacefully, and the soft carolling in the background. It was a Merry Christmas.
As Y/N's betrothed, Sirius stood by himself in front of the large black marble gravestone. The stone had two snakes slithering up both sides and intertwining on the top, reminding him of her ring. The fresh white daisies Sirius picked were messily woven together and placed against the base.
A small sad smile made its way onto his face as he remembered Y/N's smiling face that one spring morning. His head was on her lap and she was weaving daisies together in a flower crown. It had looked out of place on the Slytherin’s head but he didn’t care. She looked beautiful.
He was knocked out of his thoughts when a hand rested on his shoulder. Looking over, he saw James with an understanding expression. Behind him Lily and Remus were waiting. Sirius turned back to look at Y/N's name engraved in the stone one last time before allowing James to lead him back down the hill.
“I can’t believe she’s gone,” whispered Sirius after taking a shaky breath. They had spent five years hating each other, one year as friends who were too scared to reveal their feelings, and one year as a couple. He wished they had gotten more time together.
“You loved her. You actually loved her,” said James. It wasn’t in disbelief. Everyone knew how whipped Sirius had been for the Slytherin girl. He was stating it as if that was the reason why he felt so miserable.
“I love her, Prongs. Not loved. Never loved. I love her,” said Sirius shaking his head. Lily and Remus watched him in pity and concern. It had been a month since her death and not even Sirius had been invited to the funeral.
“She loves you too,” said Lily stepping forwards and hugging him. Sirius squeezed his eyes shut and rested his forehead on her shoulder.
“I know.”
Years Later
“Yes,” said Hermione in a heated voice, “he sacked her, just because she hadn’t stayed in her tent and let herself get trampled—”
“Hermione, will you give it a rest with the elf!” said Ron.
Sirius shook his head and said, “She’s got the measure of Crouch better than you have, Ron.” Everyone in the room noticed how a strange look suddenly appeared in his eyes. “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
It wasn’t the last time Harry saw that strange look in his godfather’s eyes.
“I see him so much in you, Harry. You are so very much alike,” said Sirius fondly as he looked down at Harry. The boy made a face and looked back up at the Black Family Tapestry.
“I'm not so sure. Sirius, when I was… when I saw Mr. Weasley attacked, I wasn't just watching. I was the snake,” explained Harry looking over at Sirius to see his reaction. Much to his surprise, Sirius didn’t look concerned at all. “And afterwards, in Dumbledore's office... there was a moment when I wanted to… this connection between me and Voldemort. What if the reason for it is that I am becoming more like him? I just feel so angry all the time. And what if, after everything that I've been through... something's gone wrong inside me? What if I'm becoming bad?”
“I want you to listen to me very carefully, Harry,” said Sirius bending down a bit so they were face to face. Harry froze at the nostalgic look in his eyes. “You're not a bad person. You're a very good person who bad things have happened to. You understand? Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
When Harry walked out of that room, he had a million questions. Most of them were if Sirius was really as alright as he said he was. While Hermione and Ron went ahead, he stayed behind to ask Remus.
“Is this about the speech Sirius gave you?” Remus asked raising an eyebrow. “Light and dark?”
“You heard?” Harry asked in surprise.
“Both times,” he answered with a small amused huff.
“He’s said the speech to someone else before?” Harry asked feeling a bit jealous. For some reason the idea of Sirius telling someone something so deep to someone else didn’t make him feel so good.
“Hold on to my arm for a moment, will you?” Remus asked taking out his wand. Harry immediately knew what the werewolf was going to do. A moment after he grabbed his arm they were at the bottom of a large hill.
“Where are we?” Harry asked, looking around. Except for the large hill, the area was flat and grassy. It was actually quite beautiful. From what he could see, there was a large willow tree on the top of the hill.
“A place Sirius has probably snuck out to every once and a while since he’s escaped,” mused Remus as he started hiking up. Harry followed him in confusion. What was so important about this place that his godfather would risk his life for? “The world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
“You… he told you this speech?” Harry asked in confusion.
“No. Someone actually told Sirius that,” said Remus. After a few more moments they reached the top of the hill. Harry’s emerald eyes settled on the gravestone in shock and dread. Y/N Shafiq was inscribed on the stone in elegant cursive.
“Who’s this?”
“She was Sirius’s betrothed, or fianceé, as he put it.”
Harry felt as if his mind was about to explode. He didn’t know Sirius had been engaged. The more he thought about it, he didn’t know much about him.
“W-What happened to her?”
“Four months after we graduated, the night before their wedding, twelve death eaters stormed the Shafiq manor and murdered her,” said Remus darkly. He noticed the shock on Harry’s face. “Y/N was absolutely brilliant. One of the most accomplished potioneers and duellists the world had ever seen. It may have taken twelve death eaters to take her down but she dragged each one of them down with her.”
“All twelve?” Harry asked in awe.
“All twelve,” confirmed Remus with a nod, “she used the killing curse on half of them and killed four through a series of spells before killing another with a piece of a shattered vase. Unfortunately she and the last death eater shot the killing curse at the same time and they both were killed.”
“She used unforgivables?” Harry asked in shock. Remus watched him warily.
“Y/N was a Slytherin. People used to call her Lady Slytherin as she was the perfect Slytherin. What most people don’t understand is that Slytherins aren’t evil. They’re cunning and ambitious. They’re neither good nor bad, black or white. They lived in the grey area where the lines blurred until they weren’t distinguishable.
Unfortunately Sirius saw only the black and the white. For years he tormented her and her housemates. Y/N always had this strange calm way of dealing with things but she got angry at him. That’s where the speech came from. That was the moment he really saw the grey. I’m a bit surprised Sirius is using her words. He was pretty broken after her death.”
“The grey,” mumbled Harry squatting down in front of the gravestone. If she hadn’t died this woman would’ve been her godmother. Pointing his wand at the base, he made a wreath of colorful flowers appear. Remus pursed his lips, knowing that Sirius would’ve protested and insisted on white daisies. Y/N deserved a bit of color in her life though, she died in the light.
His heart ached for his best friend. Sirius hadn’t planned on ever falling in love with Y/N. They had planned on waiting until Sirius was old enough to escape from his parents before calling off their betrothal.
“She would’ve loved to meet you,” said Remus quietly. Harry felt his throat close up. Sirius had lost so many people. “Although, she’s extremely overprotective. If she knew about your issues with Malfoy she might’ve gotten his family kicked out of the ministry. Scary powerful woman she was. Slytherin’s not the same as it used to be.”
“She’d be ashamed of the Slytherins now.”
Both Harry and Remus turned around to see Sirius standing behind him with his hands stuffed in his pockets. His grey eyes scanned over the red, yellow, and pink carnations lying on the black gravestone dully. A bitter smiled pulled at his lips and Harry wanted to hug him. He looked so lonely and deathly with his pale complexion and the dark bags under his eyes. A breeze fluttered through Sirius’s long hair and tugged on his thin clothes, highlighting how thin and bony his body had become.
“You shouldn’t be here,” said Remus with a disapproving frown. He knew he wouldn’t be able to stop Sirius however.
Warnings: a bit of non-cannon pure-blood traditions bc JK didn’t really elaborate on this topic
Sirius reluctantly apologized after that dramatic event. He had fretted over it for weeks, feeling upset at first before transitioning into heavy guilt. Not everyone was the same, he should know that better than anyone. At first, Y/N was skeptical and wary around him but they somehow ended up getting along quite well. He even accompanied her to Hogsmeade whenever he had nothing better to do. Of course, they weren’t friends per say. It was more of a mutual acquaintanceship.
It didn’t take long for Sirius to start admiring her. It was hard not to. Before, he had been clouded with judgement but now he realized how grey the world really was. Y/N— he had taken to calling her by her first name - was grey. While she didn’t agree with blood prejudices, she had no issue with dark arts. In a way, she was light and dark. The girl surprised and intrigued him.
Of course, he couldn’t say the same about his parents.
“MARRIAGE?!” Sirius roared angrily. They had really gone over the line this time. Maybe telling him to think about settling down soon was alright but arranging a marriage… that was completely unacceptable.
“It’s been settled. You obviously don’t have any suitable preferences so we’ve decided on Fawley. She’ll make a very good wife,” said Walburga dismissively.
“But you can’t do this!” Sirius exclaimed panicking. His clever mind raced and he started thinking of different purebloods. His mind settled on one. “What if… what if I have a preference?”
“Who would you possible pick?” Walburga asked dryly. “A mudblood? No, you’re to marry a pureblood.”
“Shafiq,” stated Sirius determinedly. She’d help him out of this situation. Her family was very well respected and he was sure Y/N would lean towards the light and help him out a bit before retreating back into the shadows of grey.
“Y/N Shafiq? You must be insane if you think she’d agree to marry you,” said Walburga rolling her eyes.
“She will,” he insisted. He found himself in front of the Shafiq estate with his mother in two the next morning. The Shafiq manor was much larger than even the Malfoy manor. Even so, they were never too proud about it. Prometheus Shafiq was the first to greet them. His pitch black hair matched the large devilwood french doors of the manor.
“Walburga, Sirius so glad to see you two,” he said kindly. He was one of the only purebloods Sirius could partially stand. He’d never admit the fact that Prometheus Shafiq was one of the only people that made pureblood gatherings bearable.
“We’ve come mainly for your daughter,” said Walburga stiffly. The sound of heels made them all look up the large white marble stairs. Y/N stood at the very top, donning an emerald colored dress. She practically floated down the stairs, her hand grazing over the golden railing gently.
“Sirius? What are you doing here?” Y/N asked in confusion.
“To ask for your hand in marriage,” he said with an apologetic smile. Her eyes widened before a calm senrere mask washed over her face. It creeped him out sometimes. She must’ve figure out it was all Walburga's doing.
“I’m flattered,” she said with a small teasing smile. She was never going to let it go. He didn’t mind though, as long as he was able to keep himself from getting betrothed until he could think of something else. “Although, it’s a tradition that we court before anything serious happens. Even something as transient as betrothal needs time.”
“Then we court,” declared Sirius pressing a kiss to the back of her knuckles. An eyebrow raised and he could tell Walburga was staring him in shock. After all, she didn’t think her bastard Gryffindor son knew and was on good terms with someone as well respected as Y/N Shafiq.
“Well, if that’s all then I suppose I don’t need to get involved just yet,” said Prometheus with a smile. Oh he wouldn’t need to be involved. Sirius would be damned before he married a Slytherin pureblood.
Of course Slughorn would place him with his protegeé in hopes of getting him under control in the classroom. Sirius watched utterly bored as Shafiq worked on cutting up ingredients. Prongs was lucky, he got placed with Evans. Moony and Wormtail were together, why’d he get put with Lady Slytherin?
“Are you going to help me?” Shafiq asked after a couple more minutes. Her voice was even aristocratic. It was soft but sharp at the same time. That was one thing he learned after years at Hogwarts. There was a big difference between the Shafiqs and Blacks. While his mother was harsh and temperamental, Y/N Shafiq was a quiet but deadly person. She spoke softly but with authority.
“No,” he answered simply.
“I thought as much,” she sighed before shrugging off her robes and placing them on her chair. Sirius let his grey eyes scan her up and down. Unlike most of the students who wore the grey cardigan over their white dress shirts, he had never seen her wear it before. Then again, they lived in the dungeons so she must be a bit cold resilient at that point.
The crisp white shirt matched her pale complexion. Her black dress and hair evened her paleness out enough to be able to distinguish her from a ghost. A silver ring sat on her right middle finger. Sirius recognized it as the Shafiq ring. He had seen his mother wear the Black family ring before. He preferred the Shafiq ring as it consisted of two snakes as the thin band. They entwined with each other and met at the middle with their mouths agape and a bright green jewel stuck within.
“How’s my darling brother?” Sirius asked sarcastically. He really did want to know however.
“I wouldn’t know. He’s not answered our invitation from three years ago,” answered Y/N courteously. Sirius rolled his eyes.
“Right, of course Lady Slytherin still follows the old pureblood traditions of social interactions,” he drawled. While Slughorn praised Evans on her potion he propped his feet up on the table. A frown settled on her face and it didn’t make her look less pretty.
“Stop calling me that,” she said quietly.
“Why should I?” Sirius asked raising an eyebrow.
“Because I’ve asked you kindly.”
“Unfortunately, Shafiq, I’m not a Slytherin and I couldn’t care less about your… social expectations. Just because you asked me doesn’t mean I’m going to listen,” he said rocking on the two back legs of his chair.
“Well Black, I fortunately didn’t expect you to listen,” she said in a small huff. Her foot caught the right front leg of his chair and he suddenly found himself on the ground with a loud THWACK! Blinking up dazedly at the dim lamps on the ceiling, he tried to process exactly what had just happened.
“Mr. Black, please refrain from tipping the chair over again,” called Slughorn from across the room. James sniggered at him and Sirius scrambled up with a glare. It settled on his best friend first before turning to Shafiq. The girl’s lips were curved upwards in a small amused smile. What a snake.
“If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals,” said Shafiq as Sirius dangled a couple second years in the air. They were both Slytherins and looked at Shafiq desperately for help. “I see a mere boy bullying second years that haven’t even provoked him.”
Sirius’s face burned red with anger and embarrassment.
“I’m not a boy,” he snared, letting the two second years go. Shafiq shooed them off before rounding on him.
“Really? Then explain your actions,” she said calmly. People paused to watch the two. Even from their first year the two had been against year other. No one really knew why, Sirius didn’t either. Something about her just irked him.
“Just because your daddy’s a pureblood up in the ministry doesn’t make him a man, either. Maybe you should start lowering your standards,” snapped Sirius in annoyance. Her frown deepened but she didn’t seem to be getting angry. That annoyed him even more. How was she getting under his skin such much and he didn’t even seem to get a satisfactory response out of her?
“Just because my family’s Slytherin doesn’t make us bad people,” replied Shafiq.
“Right, because going off and joining You-Know-Who isn’t bad,” scoffed Sirius. “Because thinking muggleborns are the scum of the world is alright. Because using unforgivables and using the dark arts is justifiable!”
“I’m not a bad person, Black!” Shafiq exclaimed raising her voice slightly. People flinched. She was starting to get mad and that was never good. Her dark eyes blazed with hurt and fury.
“You’re not a good person either!” Sirius retorted. He clenched his fists. “You Slytherins lie and only care about saving your own scaly skins.”
“Sirius…” Remus was ignored.
“Slytherins are cunning and ambitious. We’re not evil!”
“So you consider yourself a saint, then?!”
“No! The world’s not black and white, unlike what you think,” shot Shafiq scowling. “Besides, the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters. We have all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the power we choose to act on. That's who we really are.”
With that final note, she whirled around and stormed off. Sirius watched her leave with his jaw dropped. Remus just sighed and shook his head in frustration and annoyance.
Sirius smirked as he watched the first years cluster together at the edge of the Gryffindor table. It was the morning after they all arrived and the poor kids looked absolutely terrified. Lily Evans, who was the fifth year prefect, had managed to get them to all talk a bit but they still looked as if they expected the Marauders to hex them.
“You know, I feel bad for them,” started James smirking, “they don’t know anyone here. Maybe we should give them a little introduction.”
“Sounds like an amazing idea,” agreed Sirius, his grey eyes lighting up eagerly. They both were sitting across from each other so it was easy for them to just slide down a couple feet so they were sitting right next to the first years.
“Hello firsties, we figured that you all would benefit from a bit of advice,” said James as innocently as he possibly could. A small scrawny boy with dirty blonde hair and big blue eyes gaped at them.
“A-Advice?” he asked sounding a bit unsure.
“Like who you should avoid at all costs. Wouldn’t want you all dying on us before the weeks ends, right, Prongs?” Sirius asked grinning. The first years all gawked at him in terror. It took a lot of effort to keep from bursting out in laughter at their expressions.
“Let’s start off with the Badger-Puffs. Nice folks but absolutely hell to get rid of when you upset them,” said James rolling his eyes. The first years made faces. They were probably told that the Hufflepuffs were the house of the loyal and righteous. “Some say the Head Boy - he’s a Puff, mind you - lures kids into their common room. No one ever hears from them again.”
“Kinda nice compared to Ravenclaw, eh?” Sirius asked moving on from the topic casually. It’d be best to act as if it was a normal conversation. It was more believable that way.
“Vicious people,” shuddered James. There was no need to elaborate considering how terrified the kids looked.
“If the Ravenclaws are vicious then the Slytherins must be a whole new level,” sighed Sirius shaking his head. Much to his luck, the great hall doors opened with a large flourish and he smirked. The first years looked as if they were going to piss themselves. “Ah, that over there’s Y/N Shafiq. Family’s one of the most ancient purebloods there are. They call her Lady Slytherin. For a good reason too.”
The fifth year Slytherin strode down the hall elegantly. Her features were the definition of aristocratic. If the Blacks were known for their good looks then the Shafiqs must’ve been dark angels that fell from the heavens. Her black robes swished around her, the short green flashes of the lining along with the green badge made it clear which house she was in. Her long black hair was put up in a halo braid. A silver snake with small emerald eyes pinned it in place. Sharp cold black eyes were set straight on their target. People quickly moved out of her way and she made her way to the middle of the Slytherin table in a relaxed but menacing manner.
“Reason?” squeaked a girl when Sirius and James stopped talking and started eating. It didn’t even take a minute for them to ask.
“She’s top of our year in DADA and Potions. Pretty deadly combination, if you ask me,” said James with a small casual shrug. “Slughorn just absolutely adores her.”
“Some say she can kill you just by her stare,” added Sirius dutifully.
“They say she’s the Heir to Slytherin. It’d explain for the amount of first years that turn up dead after the first day,” finished James before they slid back down the table where Remus and Peter were sitting.
“That was unnecessarily cruel,” said Remus disapprovingly.
“But it was hilarious,” reasoned Sirius with a huge grin. Remus pursed his lips and glanced over at the Slytherin table. If the table was a Royal Court then Shafiq would be the Queen sitting in the middle. The noblest of purebloods surrounded her and they all sat like princes. Their every movement was refined and graceful.
“You really shouldn’t talk about Shafiq like that,” said Remus lowering his voice. Sirius scoffed and he glared at the pureblood. “I get that you hate pureblood Slytherins but you’ve got to see the difference here. You see Snape? He’s sitting with Mulicent, Avery, Rosier, the lowest of the low. When you look at Shafiq, she’s sitting with Abbott, MacMillan, Nott.”
“So what?” Sirius asked frowning. He didn’t care at all. She could be sitting with centaurs for all he cared.
“She’s good. She’s not like your family,” said Remus watching his expression. Sirius’s face hardened. What did Remus know about his family? He sat up straighter and gave Remus an indignant glare.
Y/N loved sneaking out in the middle of the night, even though it was against school rules. If Lily found out she secretly went to the Black Lake every night she’d kill her and get her put in detention. It was relaxing however, and she found that going there helped relieve her emotions. She was alone and could do whatever she wanted. Today, she had a particularly bad day. She’d been cornered by a couple Slytherins and their words really hit home.
Even though no one was around to hear her, she tried to keep her sniffling quiet as she folded her legs and leaned against the tree. It was a quarter moon and she tried to look up at it only to see a blurry blob. There was a soft whimper and Y/N nearly screamed when she saw a large black dog sitting near her. Slowly, it got up and laid it’s head in her lap.
“What the hell?” Y/N asked confused and a bit frightened. The dog nuzzled against her stomach however and she slowly ran a hand through his black fur coat. “What’s your name?”
There was no response as the dog seemed to be asleep on her lap. Y/N slowly lifted her hands off his coat and started wiping the remaining tears on her face away. Trying her hardest not to bother the sleeping dog, she pulled her jacket closer around her. She was only wearing a red tank top with shorts and it was cold.
The dog’s ears perked up and she realized that he or she wasn’t asleep. The dog jumped up and ran off, leaving Y/N under the tree confused. A hand grabbed her and her scream was muffled by a hand.
“Shh! It’s James!” exclaimed a hushed voice. Y/N stopped and looked behind her to see the hazel eyed boy. She pulled her jacket even closer together when she saw his eyes rake over her body. “Did you see a dog around?”
“A dog? Yeah. The dog’s yours?” Y/N asked confused.
“Er, yeah. His name is Snuffles,” said James with a grin. Y/N cracked a smile and James was suddenly tackled by the black dog who she thought had ran off. He growled at James and Y/N’s eyes widened.
“James!” Y/N exclaimed reaching for her wand.
“Oh come on, Snuffles is a great name,” complained James not even fazed. Snuffles growled again and pawed at James’s chest. James tried to get up but Snuffles was too heavy for him. “Alright, I get it. Get off.”
Snuffles flauntered off and curled up on Y/N’s feet. James raised an eyebrow and looked between the dog and Y/N. After a while he sighed and started heading back up towards the castle.
“James? Where are you going?” Y/N asked chasing after him. Snuffles growled and bounded after her. He jumped so he was in front of her and snarled at her, making Y/N stop in her tracks.
“I’ve been replaced,” James cried dramatically, “he likes you more than me.”
“James—”
“He’s going to keep you there all night.”
“But it’s cold!” Y/N exclaimed with a frown as she looked down at the dog. Snuffles whimpered and begrudgingly got up, slowly walking with her back into the castle. Once back in the common room, Snuffles started nudging her towards the couch.
“He wants you to go to the couches,” informed James noticing her confusion. Y/N slowly sat down on the couch and Snuffles hopped onto her lap, closing his eyes and slowly started drifting off to sleep. James tossed her a blanket and headed up. Sighing, Y/N made herself comfortable before petting the shiny black fur.
“Good night Snuffles.”
Snuffles froze and emitted a low unhappy growl from the back of his throat. Y/N giggled and scratched behind his ear making him stop and lean into her touch. She wondered how she never noticed a large black dog around before.
“Hey James!” Y/N exclaimed running through the hall. James stopped and turned, making his friends also stop.
“Hey Y/N, what’s going on?” James asked grinning at her. Y/N had to catch her breath for a second and James let her lean against him. Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the two of them. They seemed awfully closer than before.
“Have you seen Snuffles anywhere?” Y/N asked bright-eyed. Sirius froze and all eyes fell on him. James looked like he wanted to laugh and Remus and Peter listened and watched confused.
“He tends to roam a lot. He’ll find you,” said James patting her head affectionately. If Sirius was a dog he would’ve growled— no, barked. He didn’t like how James, the boy that was supposedly in love with Evans, was touching and being overly friendly with Y/N.
“Ok,” sighed Y/N looking disappointed. She turned around and started walking off when Sirius took large strides towards her and grabbed her elbow. Her head turned to look at him and he fought the urge to kiss her. “Sirius?”
It took a moment for him to figure out what he was going to say. His words nearly come out as a stutter and he quickly removed his hand from her elbow, choosing to dig his hand into the pockets of his pants.
“I know Snuffles likes to hang out around the Quidditch pitch after dinner, if you want to see him tonight,” he said, his voice turning into a mutter near the end. Sirius could feel his ears turning red in embarrassment. Very cool, Black, very suave of you. He hated how quickly he lost his confidence around her. There was something about the way she smiled at him that would catch him off-guard.
Meanwhile Y/N was fighting hard to keep the blush off her face. Sirius Orion Black was talking to her. He never talked to her. She was always talking to James as they were potions partners or with Remus because they were study buddies. He always kept quiet around her and never approached her. Plus, he was the Sirius Black. The famed ladies’ man. The charmer. The reckless secret mastermind.
“O-Oh,” she stammered, feeling her face heat up, “thanks!”
Feeling like an idiot, she quickly turned around and rushed off. Sirius watched as she left, the rest of the Marauders standing a few feet away. James was the first to break their surprised silence.
“Prongs, you’ve been waiting your entire life,” groaned Sirius as he laid on his bed with his head hanging off of it. James had just finished telling the rest of the Marauders what had happened with Y/N. “You waited for Lily for nearly seven years and now you’re going to wait for her twin sister?”
“Padfoot’s right, Prongs. How do you know you like her?” Remus asked frowning.
“I do, Moony. I like her more than Lily,” said James almost breathlessly. Remus and Sirius shared a skeptical look.
“You told her you loved her,” spoke up Peter, “but you were telling Lily you loved her almost a month ago. Maybe the reason why she doesn’t want to date you is because you don’t know the meaning of love?”
All three boys gaped at the smaller, less-popular Marauder. They never realized he was quite so smart before. They had expected Remus to be the one spouting all the knowledge and the theories.
“Peter’s right. You can’t just go around telling every girl that you love them,” said Sirius nodding in agreement. James sighed in frustration and tugged on his tie before leaving the dorm. None of the Marauders bothered to go after him as they could tell he needed some time to think things through. All he wanted to do at the moment was get his broom and fly around the Quidditch pitch. When he went down to the common room, he noticed a boy talking and laughing with Y/N. Jealousy burst in his stomach and he felt exactly how he felt when he found out Y/N was supposedly dating Remus.
“I got you something,” said the boy lifting his arm which was around her shoulders. Y/N smiled eagerly and James watched bitterly from the side. He stood behind a kissing couple so he couldn’t get caught staring.
“It’s beautiful,” gasped Y/N when he pulled out a necklace with a green emerald pendant.
“Yeah, it’s Lily’s favorite color so I thought this would be a good color to get you,” said the boy oblivious to how Y/N’s expression changed. James however, was watching like a hawk. He could see how she stiffened and how her smile seemed more pained. Her eyes glazed over with tears and she slowly got up.
“Thank you so much,” she said in a slightly higher pitched voice. James winced and he slowly started walking towards them. “I’ve got to go though.”
She turned around and walked to the entrance before leaving. James chased after her, weaving through all the people, and when he got out, he saw her running down the stairs and around the corner.
“Y/N!” James yelled catching up to her. Y/N stopped and turned around, tears spilling from her bright green eyes.
“I’m not Lily!” Y/N yelled wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her purple jumper. James stared at her wide eyed. “I’m Y/N Evans. I’m not my sister so I’m sorry to disappoint you. My favorite color isn’t green. I don’t like to eat Cauldron Cakes. I don’t like butterbeer. I won’t call you an arrogant toerag. I’m not good at potions. I’m not Head Girl!”
There was a good twenty feet of distance between the two but James could see Y/N wiping her eyes with her sleeve again. Realization made his heart ache. She thought he liked her because she seemed like Lily.
“You’re a prefect. You’re the top of our charms class. You call me Prancer because you find it too hard to stay mad at me for too long,” said James with a small loving smile as he started walking towards her. He took slow steps and moved with each sentence he spoke. “You hate alcohol with a passion and you don’t like sweets.”
James looked down at Y/N with a smile, admiring how pretty her green eyes looked and how her lips seemed quite pink.
“And your favorite color,” he ran a hand through her red curled waves, “is red. Just like your hair.”
Y/N’s mouth parted slightly in surprise and without thinking, she grabbed his tie and pulled him down, pressing her mouth to his.
