matt: jay, what do you know about, um, nero and sporus?
jay: nero and...?
matt: sporus, jay, yeah. sporus was a young slave boy, he was nero's favorite. and, uh, do you know what nero did to him?
jay: n-nero and sporus, i don't -- this is not IP I'm familiar with...
matt: well, nero pushed his wife down the stairs. and, uh, then he had sporus castrated and he married him instead. and he gave him a ring and he made him dress up like his dead wife.
jay: wow, plot twist -- didn't see that coming!
matt: yeah, i bought a book on the romans to read at the rivoli, it's a big book.
jay: it's a good book?
matt: it's a decent book, yeah. i'd castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.
jay: are you okay, matt?
matt: hey, see if you can wrestle me to the ground, jay.
