how happy is the blameless vessels lot?

22| she/her | welcome to the only place i can truly write down my thoughts.

[fraagmentall]

Let me be nothing but a memory.

[fraagmentall]

Time drags on, I hate him for the time he’s gone.

[quotefeeling]

“I’m not much like myself any more.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

[fraagmentall]

ptsd has left me nothing but a shell of who i used to be.

I miss her dearly. I’ll always be reaching for something that’s no longer there, and will never come back.

You stole her from me. Yet you’ll never get charged for kidnapping my soul, my innocence, my trust in the world. I lost everything because of you, including every part of myself.

I wasted my best years on you. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with you depite the misery. I was fine with misery because it meant having you.

I fucking stood by you and defended you and loved you when no one else would. Don’t ever act like i didn’t love you or care about your wellbeing with or without me. I gave everything for you. i gave my whole life for you.

You are the owner of the pieces of me that died being with you.

[hauntinghaiku]

grief is weird.

I'm repotting seedlings,

my hands became your hands,

and I remember your eyes again.

[original-honeychiles]

Read this and save a life - YOUR OWN

From a surgical nurse and certified CPR teacher:

Please pause for 2 minutes and read this:

1. Let’s say it’s 7.25pm and you’re going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job.

2. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated.

3 Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five km from the hospital nearest your home.

4. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far.

5. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy who taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.

6. HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE? Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.

7. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

8. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.

9. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!

10. A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail kindly sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we’ll save at least one life.

11. Rather than sending jokes, please... contribute by forwarding this mail which can save a person’s life.

12. If this message comes around you... more than once… please don’t get irritated... You should instead, be happy that you have many friends who care about you & keeps reminding you how to deal with a Heart attack.

please take the time and boost this post by reposting it and sending it to those you love because we all need to understand how to quickly deal with heart attacks

[palenoface]

as someone who has been having signs of a heart attack recently, i’m really glad i found this post

[sipping-on-chlorinated-tea]

These posts are especially important in the ED community- this shit rlly fucks up our health

[cloudy-ghost]

no offense but you’re lovely and you matter a lot

[liesandnights]

To lovely humans who were excluded from invitations, left behind when they tied their shoes, forced to walk in the grass when the sidewalk was full, spoken over when you tried to contribute, whispered about or laughed at, given side-eye when you tried to fit in…. you are so worthy of love.

[fraagmentall]

your eating disorder is telling you that you need to be “more sick”, when in reality that itself shows you are sick. healthy people do not desire this.

your eating disorder is going to convince you that being smaller will make you feel happy and satisfied with yourself. you will not. not even slightly. it will forever tell you it wasn’t enough, and you’ll eventually be on your death bed still unsatisfied.

the people around you telling you that you need help or that you are dangerously underweight aren’t lying to you. your eating disorder is fucking with your self perception. these people have no reason to lie about stuff so serious.

you want kids one day? if you stay malnourished you’ll lose that chance. not only that but if you do get lucky and have children without recovering, you’re going to pass this painful disorder down onto them due to unintentional projection.

your eating disorder is convincing you that your body is eating it’s own fat. your body is actually eating it’s own muscle. what else counts as a muscle? your heart. you can and will cause heart problems that could be avoided. don’t wait to have a heart attack to wake up to the realization of needing to recover.

i know you can’t control it. if you could no one would pick something so painful and brutal to deal with. 1 in five people will die from their eating disorder. 20% of all eating disorders result in death.

think about how you could’ve spent so many years not being miserable from this and going out with friends and eating cake on your birthday and not letting it consume you. you deserve to have cake on your birthday.

you’re gonna think i’m wrong and say “this won’t be how i’ll feel though”, but you’ll be the one wrong. i used to think people who made these posts were full of shit. the harsh truth is that me along with all the others telling you to wake the fuck up are not lying whatsoever. get out while you can, this will never be worth it and you will never be happy with yourself if you stay stuck in the loop.

skinny ≠ happiness.

it never will.

[bpdfragileangel]

I wonder who I would be If I was never s*xually abused?

I wonder what it feels like to have s*x with someone in a romantic way and see it as something beautiful and not as a way of punishing myself.

I wonder what it feels like to be loved by a man and not just lusted after.

I wonder what it feels like to love someone and not be obsessed with them.

I wonder what it feels like to enjoy nice clothes and makeup without feeling disgusted by myself in the mirror.

I wonder what it feels like to not feel hypers*xual and then disgusted by it the next minute.