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@fran-thoughts-blog
20th April 2017, 4:33pm
When you told me you wanted me And I believed you I did not realise that It would go the way it did. When you told me I was beautiful It was so long ago you can't remember I believed you again And I let it go the way it did. When you said the ways I made you feel My heart leapt for I thought That it meant what I wanted But it didn't So it went the way It went.
Teehee it’s me
"What difference can a couple of months make?" November 2016 vs January 2017
9th Jan 2017, 5:54pm
How long has it been? Months? So much has changed. In November I had my mocks, they were difficult but I got 2 Bs, 5 As and 4 A*s. Smart is my thing. November 15th was my birthday, but mock exams began on the 14th so I was hard pushed to go out and celebrate on the night, leaving it instead until the Friday 19th. I’m in a right one with my dad, and have been for quite a while. He is just so ridiculous! For example, I (unknowingly) opened the cupboard where he keeps his (secret) smokes, and he shouted so loudly it was awful. This has been building up and building up, and i know that if I cut my ties, I wouldn’t be bothered. Honest. In December, I stayed at his with my brother on the night of the 25th and 26th it was awful and I’m never doing it again. He shouted so loud loads and was so snappy and angry, I hated it. My mam was about an hour away with her boyfriend too, so she could do nothing to help. On New Years Eve, I went to Harrogate with him to see my extended family. I went to bed at 11. It was rubbish! As if he guilts me into going because I know he won’t bother to organise any other visit, then makes me go to bed at 11 because he wants a smoke and still treats me like a 7 year old, not the almost-adult I am. He doesn’t understand how hard I work constantly to be good and studious and not get into trouble. He probably wouldn’t be any meaner or nicer if I went out drinking and getting naked constantly. I’ve started talking to a boy (Josh)! We’ve been best friends for years, five whole years (!) and now I think he’s kind of interested in me? (Ok yeah I know he is). But I don’t know if I like him in that way… I kind of just like him as a friend who I can kiss sometimes lmao. Things are weird like that. I think I want to be a doctor, or someone who takes x-rays… a radiologist or something. It interests me a lot, but I don’t want to go to uni here, I’d rather go some place else. Explore somewhere new.
SOTD- killing an Arab by the cure
I love you ❤ Cheska xxx
“Why do you wear makeup?”
28th September 2016, 6:42pm
Heyyyy I have French vocab to learn for tomorrow but I’m being a bad girl and putting it off until later. Aside from that, I’ve had an odd day. I’ll tell you all about it right now… Ever since I joined my secondary school in year 7, there’s been this one girl (Sarah) who everyone loathes- it’s not because she’s fat or ugly or anything, it’s just because she was so annoying!!! It doesn’t stop there though- she’s also really mean to anyone who doesn’t stand up for themselves (not me lmao I say what I want) and puts them down to make herself feel better. HOWEVER at the age of 15, you’d think that people would just get on with their lives, right? Wrong. Still people in my friendship group are going on and on and on about her and it’s so horrific- they’re still being taken down to pastoral over it, she’s still crying over them and god I wish they’d all just grow up. I’d like to document this here that it’s the first time I’ve ever personally felt that I’m more mature in behaviour than anyone in my friendship group. The thing is, blog of mine, over the summer I didn’t care. I talked to who I wanted, saw the people I wanted to see. It didn’t bother me that I didn’t go on any big group outings, because I didn’t want to. Over the summer, I was Queen Bee, and nobody else’s lives mattered. All the drama with the stupid girl was forgotten, the people who I hadn’t been getting along with didn’t make any contact with me at all, and my best friend saw me loads. Her boyfriend’s an absolute IDIOT and I’d also like to document that I’ve started to not just have a mild distaste, but an actual dislike. He’s adding fuel to this girl’s fire and he’s a right mug who says “penis” when he can’t think of anything to say. Uhuh. Nearly 16 and acts 10. Well done, you’ve scored. Anyways, over the summer I grew and ‘blossomed’ into a lovely young lady who knows how to dress well and wears just the right makeup after years of practice. But everyone else? They’re busy fussing over a girl who doesn’t even matter. She’s nothing. So I’m going to start sitting with a different group because they’re always so calm and lovely, and don’t really mind anyone. Sounds like a good plan, and another best friend of mine sits with them and I’m good friends with all of them too. I might be a lot of things, but an outsider i am not.
SOTD - Colour of the Trap by Miles Kane
Just remove all the toxicity and it’ll be great Cheska xxxxxxx
Cahoots
22nd September 2016, 5:22pm
Hiya xx So I’ve lost four or five pounds in the few weeks I’ve been doing this, but my weight loss has been going really for nearly 9 weeks- at the start of which I was 12 stone 9. Now I’m 12 stone 2, but still not happy. My best friend keeps telling me not to lose too much weight, but how can I when it’s hard enough to lose a little bit?! She has nothing to worry about, trust me. Eugh this boy in my year (James) is gay (according to what he told me last year) and I’m 0% attracted to him so thought I was being a good friend by agreeing to go to prom with him.… Yesterday, he told me he might be bi and that I might be the one he’s bi for oh god. What do I do? He texted me saying that he’s just confused, he just doesn’t know what’s going on. God he’s needy and dramatic which is something I don’t particularly want in my life right now- I’ve already cut out one of those people this week (muhahahaha). I’m going to be straight with you blog- i am not a fan of attention seekers. They’re they worst breed of people, worse than the slackers, even. They have this complex that they MUST hate themselves the most, they MUST have the hardest life, they MUST be the most unlucky. Oh how I sob for their pains, oh how I dote my attention on them. They need to get a life and grow up before they realise nobody even cares and that literally everyone sees through their façade. Also, I have high standards (which someone found out about this week 😈) so it’s not my fault if I get sick of them stooping too low for me. They can blame it on social ineptitude, whatever, I don’t care. There are ways you treat people and the there are ways you don’t. I don’t care what you identify as, mate. Just treat your friends like actual friends k?
SOTD - Strangers by The Kinks
Nobody’s going to blame you for raising your standards babe, Cheska xxxx
17th September 2016, 9:22am
I think this is the earliest post I've ever made!! I went for a run at 7:50, and I ran 0.59 miles in 6 minutes 45. Considering I ran cross country in 16:29 (I think it's about 2k? Idk) I'm quite proud. It's not too good, but it's a start :) My weight loss is going okay. I haven't touched sweets but I was reeeally bad and had chips last night oh god. I've been having salad every day for lunch since Wednesday, though. I feel good. I've lost 2 pounds since Thursday and god damn I feel happy about it. I want to lose like 20 more and my ribs showing. I forgot that grass is dewy in the morning, so my feet got absolutely soaked! To make matters worse I was wearing proper thick running socks so they soaked up all the moisture instantly. Ewwww. I've fallen out with my friend, I did it. He was toxic and none of my other friends liked him, and I was beginning to see why. He used me as an emotional crutch and every time we did go out, it was just him, him, him. He was on his phone the whole time! God!!!!!!! I'm so glad I've done it, I feel really good like I've just ate loads of fruit and killed all the bad things in my body. That's not a thing that happens but you know 🤔💁 HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW IOS10 UPDATE?! I love everything except the 🔫 emoji and the fact that all your actual music is squished into one little page. As if the music app wasn't confusing enough. SOTD- Cornerstone by Benjamine Clementine HAHA IM GONNA BE SKINNY 🌞🌞 Lots of love, Cheska 😘 😘😘😘😘😘
Mardy
8th September 2016, 5:30pm
Noot noot 🤗 I've had an alright first 3 days… lessons have dragged a bit but don't they always? Tomorrow is going to be the mooooost awful though because I have a wonderful little thing called cross country! Hooray! Oh it's going to be so horrific, I'm really bad at any sport, most of all running non stop. I'm just so severely worried about it, it makes me feel ill just thinking about it… when I go to uni I'll get really fit- it's just so difficult to find all the time and energy to do everything at the minute. It'll be easier when I'm with likeminded people who also want to be skinny, we'll all work together and have some motivation! SOTD- The Acid Queen by The Who Wish me luck (again) Cheska xxxxxxx
6th September 2016, 10:32pm
WELCOME BACK TO SCHOOL ITS GOING TO BE GREAT FUN said nobody ever smh. So it was the first day today and it was altogether not so bad… we missed first period RE which was pretty tasty, but straight after we had maths so yuck. The day flew! At first I was dreading it- so many little things tangled in my mind, like how I hadn't done all my French and if my skirt would still fit and where my tie was and if I'd still have the same teachers. But everything was just fine an dandy-nobody did me in for having a skirt a bit short, or not doing all my homework… I think everyone just lost their punchyness and wanted to go home. But in true school style, we powered through and eventually made it to 4pm, when all the goodness and purity happens. Thank God for 4 o'clock I don't know what I'd do without it. SOTD- Killing an Arab by The Cure Much love, Cheska xo
I can be artsy sometimes
Just because I can post these 😍😍
3rd September 2016, 8:19pm
Oioi blog! So I made a post on the 1st but it's just not showing up? I'm not neglecting you I swear, you're like my child. My love child I had with the Internet, eh? I'm not even on the internet that much, to be honest, and I hate hate haaaaate the word "fandom" eugh it makes me want to cleanse and exfoliate every part of my body eugh eugh eughhhhh. So yeah. I'm about to watch Tommy- it's my favourite film ever I think, maybe on a par with Submarine. I'm not sure why I love it so much, but I just love how weird and sometimes graphic it is. I think if I were a character I'd be the Acid Queen, played by the amazing Tina Turner- I could never do her justice, of course. Elton John AND Eric Clapton are in it too, not to mention 3/4 of The Who, one of my all-time favourite bands 💖 I feel as if I need to shorten my posts to be taken seriously, so I'll leave it at this. Send me asks if you want mooooreeeeee!!! SOTD- The Acid Queen by The Who Keep fresh, yah. Cheska xoxoxxoox
Surf n turf vibes
