Okay this is kinda a ramble, but I feel like I need to state why I love N so so much.
The entire series, he’s playing defense.
Yes, he’s a murder drone, and while he can and will hurt you, most of his actions/words are motivated by damage control, or protecting himself and others. Multiple times in the show he shoves someone out of the way, only to get absolutely torn apart by said threat. And yes, he grows back and repairs, but that can’t be good for someone. His self esteem is so low, only reinforced by his squad of V and J, that he sees more value in everyone else’s lives. And I think part of the reason V and J treat him so poorly is that as murder drones, they don’t play defense. They are loud and violent and everything N is not. And yet, because of his defensive tendencies and the fact that (unlike J and V who either ramble or take pleasure in their jobs) he is solely focused while working, he would be the most competent killer.
He’s not dumb, and while naive, his naivety is almost ‘self enforced’ in a way.
Take episode five. Every time something spooky happens, it’s not like N doesn’t notice. He acknowledges it, and chooses to leave it alone. He can tell Cyn isn’t normal, and be it morality or something else, he doesn’t solve the problem with violence, 0r locking her away (like J). He tries to talk her down, telling her they’re not invited, and offering another fun thing to do. And when she refuses, he compromises. He is constantly doing this, trying to reason with people, or compromise even when it isn’t what he wants.
People tend to forget that part of N’s arc is realizing his worth. And part of that is Uzi. It’s a kind of innocuous line, but when their dance fighting Doll, N shoves her out of the way before getting decked by an entire piano. And when he comes back Uzi sees his wound and tell him, “Seriously, stop doing that.” She tells him to not take other peoples hits, and is constantly telling him this in different ways.
N only sees his value in helping others. He puts himself out in front of Tessa’s parents for Cyns sake, getting himself stuck in a field of corpses. He nearly caves in a tunnel, freaking out because he couldn’t save V. He draws Cyns wrath in episode eight to get her away from Uzi, and Cyn literally tears him apart. He screams out in the tunnels, warning V of the trap and gets Cyns hand right through his chest. He’s a butler, he was designed to serve others.
The moment in episode seven when Uzi sacrifices herself to save him hits so hard because of this. He screams, “Uzi, don’t you dare!” Nothing is scarier to him than the concept of survivors guilt.
He is the golden retriever concept done right. Not just the smiley, golden boy, but loyal to a fault, dangerous, and willing to do anything to protect their owners.
And that’s why I love N! I will do these with other characters if you want :3
