I am the elusive and mysterious @Fraudwatch-police sensei.
If you are reading this, congratulations, you have successfully breached containment into the main sector of my brain, which is currently 90% rotting from media consumption and 10% running on pure spite.
As your local supreme commander of internet manifestations, here is a quick debrief of what goes down in this digital domain:
Anime & Manga Core: We talk extensively about Attack on Titan (where my vendetta against Bertholdt Hoover is well-documented and violently active) and Bleach(sometimes naruto too).
Character Analysis & Hot Takes: I am here to dissect fictional characters under a microscopic lens and ruin your favorite fictional blorbos with zero remorse.
Wack Theories: Yes, I used to be a mad scientist cooking up unhinged lore, but I am unfortunately retired because the community simply couldn't handle my vision.
Manga Cover Dealing: If you need a hookup, call me out if you want one, but business is strictly cash, vibes, and whatever obscure panels I have saved.
The Official Alignment Chart: I HATE Jesse Pinkman from Breaking Bad with every fiber of my being. Deal with it.
I LOVE Eren Yeager because my moral compass is heavily magnetized to toxic narrative choices and cinematic disasters. We support men's wrongs in this household.
even bro’s titan form is handsome like wtf. that’s not fair at all, he’s supposed to be terrifying and somehow still looks better than half the cast. like, how am i supposed to fear a monster when he still looks hot af and like he was sculpted by a god
I Dont know.......if a 15 meter tall man with armour all over him came running towards me at top speed in a military ambush, his looks are the last thing im going to be thinking of.
THE ESPADA: THE MOST SORRIEST ANIME VILLAIN GROUP IN ALL OF ANIME HISTORY
Tite Kubo gave us peak character designs, banger theme songs in the character books, Spanish guitar leitmotifs, and the highest concentration of audacity in anime history—only for Lord Aizen to assemble the most incompetent squad of dramatic theater kids Hueco Mundo has ever seen.
Here is the official Espada L Counter & Fraud Watch Breakdown:
#9: Aaroniero Arruruerie
The Hype: Stole Kaien Shiba’s memories and face, literally ate 33,000 hollows to get to number 9, has two talking brains in a jar.
The Reality: Fought Rukia Kuchiki (who was suffering from severe emotional trauma and a chest wound) and STILL managed to get stabbed in the head because he couldn't stop monologuing. Bro ate 33,000 hollows just to lose to a 3rd seat with a fancy snowflake sword.
L Count: 1 (Fatal)
Fraud Rating: 8/10
#8: Szayelaporro Granz
The Hype: The "intellectual genius" of Hueco Mundo, possessed a voodoo doll that could crush internal organs, swallowed his own fracción to heal.
The Reality: Ran into Mayuri Kurotsuchi, the ONE guy in the universe who is a bigger freak than him. Got hit with a drug that made 1 second feel like 100 years, spent three centuries watching a sword slowly pierce his heart, and died crying. A theatrical mess.
L Count: 1 (Cosmic-tier disrespect)
Fraud Rating: 7/10
#7: Zommari Rureaux
The Hype: The "Fastest Espada," claims he can control your limbs with his weird eyeballs (Amor), preaches about Shinigami arrogance.
The Reality: Had the misfortune of targeting Byakuya Kuchiki. Byakuya literally severed his own tendons to bypass Zommari's power, called him a nuisance, dropped thousands of flower blades on him, and Zommari spent his final seconds screaming "BANZAI LORD AIZEN!" while Aizen didn't even know his first name.
L Count: 1 (Instant deletion)
Fraud Rating: 9/10
#6: Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez
The Hype: Absolute fan favorite, menacing roar, peak rival energy, blue hair, absolute menace.
The Reality: Fought Ichigo 3 times. Lost his arm to Tosen. Got demoted. Got beat up by Shinji in a school uniform. Finally lost his big 1v1 with Ichigo, and IMMEDIATELY got sliced open by Nnoitra from behind while lying in the dirt like a carpet.
L Count: 4
Fraud Rating: 3/10 (He gets a pass because he has drip, but brother took hits).
#5: Nnoitra Gilga
The Hype: 6 arms, giant crescent scythes, highest defense (Hierro) among the Espada, pure incel rage energy.
The Reality: Sucker-punched a exhausted Grimmjow, bullied Nel when she was a toddler, got terrified when Nel turned back into an adult, and then got matched with Kenpachi Zaraki. Zaraki literally switched to two hands on his sword and split him like firewood.
L Count: 2 (Plus 1 point deducted for being a hater)
Fraud Rating: 8.5/10
#4: Ulquiorra Cifer
The Hype: Coldest demeanor, Segunda Etapa (a form Aizen didn't even know about), literally put a hole straight through Ichigo's chest.
The Reality: Was winning the fight of his life until White/Vasto Lorde Ichigo woke up. Got grabbed by the face like a misbehaving cat, took a Cero to the face point-blank, lost an arm and a leg, and disintegrated asking what a "heart" is. Visually iconic, but he got turned into chalk dust.
L Count: 1 (Horrifyingly brutal)
Fraud Rating: 1/10 (He actually did his job, just fought a deity).
#3: Tier Harribel
The Hype: Queen of Hueco Mundo, water manipulation, massive sword, cool shark motif.
The Reality: Was fighting Hitsugaya (a child captain) and couldn't even put him down. Aizen looked at her mid-fight, said "Honestly this is taking too long and you're boring me," and STABBED HER HIMSELF. She didn't even get defeated by an enemy; her own boss fired her with a blade!
L Count: 2 (Fired by boss mid-shift)
Fraud Rating: 9.5/10
#2: Baraggan Louisenbairn
The Hype: THE KING OF HUECO MUNDO. Controls aging and decay (Respira). Literally rots anything that touches him.
The Reality: Got outsmarted by Hachigen (a Visored who used basic spatial geometry). Hachi cut off his own decaying hand, teleporters it inside Baraggan's stomach, and Baraggan rotted to death from the inside out using HIS OWN POWER. Died throwing a axe at Aizen while missing by 50 feet.
L Count: 1 (Self-inflicted)
Fraud Rating: 6/10
#1: Coyote Starrk
The Hype: ESPADA NUMBER ONE. So strong his spiritual pressure naturally killed hollows standing near him. Gunslinger. Metaphor for loneliness.
The Reality: Fought four captains, was visibly depressed the entire time, lost his wolf-guns, and just wanted to take a nap. Shunsui Kyoraku stabbed him in the back while wearing a pink kimono using a Shikai game (Kageoni). Didn't even force a Bankai out of anyone.
L Count: 1 (Tragic)
Fraud Rating: 5/10 (Not a fraud, just needed therapy).
#0: Yammy Llargo
The Hype: "SURPRISE! The numbers actually go 0-9! I am the STRONGEST ESPADA when I get angry! I get bigger!"
The Reality: THE BIGGEST FRAUD IN ANIME HISTORY. Got off-screened by Kenpachi and Byakuya while they were actively arguing with each other about something else. They were barely paying attention to him! He died next to his small dog.
L Count: ∞
Fraud Rating: 100/10 (Hall of Fame Fraud)
FINAL VERDICT:
Aizen assembled 10 top-tier hollows, gave them customized castles, gave them drip, and they killed ZERO named Shinigami Captains or Lieutenants. Not one.
Never watched Hannibal, but I've seen Mikkelsen with a beard and hes a good actor, has great charisma in his role of Gellert Grindewald in Fantastic beasts and best of all, hes Danish.
Imo I think he would do great at the role, another contender would be Ethan Hawke, he was great in The northman.
lmao thats not a screenshot from Hannibal, although he DOES butcher a man in that movie too, so i guess he’s played a cannibal(ish) twice. Which is a lot for one man.
Never watched Hannibal, but I've seen Mikkelsen with a beard and hes a good actor, has great charisma in his role of Gellert Grindewald in Fantastic beasts and best of all, hes Danish.
Imo I think he would do great at the role, another contender would be Ethan Hawke, he was great in The northman.
The stars have always listened to me. They were distant enough that I could imagine they understood. But I never learned how to speak to the sun. I was told to look away before its light could hurt my eyes, and somewhere along the way, I mistook distance for safety. It's a cruel irony, isn't it? We spend our lives searching the heavens for lonely stars, only to realize the loneliest one was the closest to us all along.
this is a stupid question but I have no clue so 🧍♂️
Wow, you did it! Yay, anyway as for the question, nah its not stupid. I used to do it alot as a kid and tries to pick it up again but school and work just got in the way.
I love liking art and looking at it on Tumblr tho!
Mind Your Manners (Or: How to Survive the Morales Dinner Table)
By Skibidi432 on AO3
The Morales kitchen smelled like yellow rice and fried plantains, a comforting bubble of safety that Miles had completely shattered with a single syllable.
Miles was mid-sentence, gesturing wildly with a forkful of food. "...and honestly, Ganke was being wild, so I told that N***a—"
The word left his mouth before his brain's filter could catch it. It wasn't a word he used around his parents. Ever. It was the kind of Brooklyn slang that stayed firmly on the streets or in Discord calls with Ganke.
The silence that followed was absolute.
The clinking of silverware stopped. The hum of the refrigerator suddenly sounded deafening. Miles froze, his fork hovering inches from his face, his soul practically leaving his body.
Jeff slowly lowered his newspaper. His expression didn't change, but his eyes locked onto Miles with the terrifying authority of a seasoned NYPD officer who had just caught a perp red-handed.
Rio, meanwhile, stopped mid-chew. She set her glass down with a precise, deliberate *clink*.
"Miles Gonzalo Morales," Rio said, her voice dropping an octave into that dangerously calm, quiet register. "What did you just say?"
"I—uh," Miles stammered, his voice cracking. He looked at his dad for backup, but Jeff just folded his arms, leaning back in his chair.
"Oh, don't look at him," Rio snapped, turning her gaze fully onto her son. "I know you did not just bring that word to my dinner table. I don't care who you’re talking about, or what song you heard it in, or what your friends are saying at school. Do I look like one of your little friends?"
"No, Ma, it just slipped out, I swear—"
"It slipped out because you're using it too much outside of this house," Jeff interjected, his deep voice filling the room. "Look at me, Miles. You think you're grown? You think because you're running around Brooklyn you get to use that kind of language under my roof?"
"No, Dad—"
"I work too hard, and your mother works too hard, for you to be sitting here sounding like you don't have an education," Jeff continued, using his best 'Captain' voice. "You've got a brilliant mind, Miles. Use the vocabulary we paid for at Brooklyn Visions."
Rio nodded in agreement, crossing her arms. "Exactly. And since your vocabulary seems a little limited today, you’re going to have plenty of time to practice your writing. No electronics for the rest of the weekend."
"The whole weekend?!" Miles gasped. "But Ganke and I were gonna—"
"Ganke can wait," Rio said firmly, pointing a spoon at him. "And you can spend that extra free time washing the dishes tonight, and tomorrow, and Sunday. Maybe the soap will help clean out your mouth."
Miles slumped in his chair, staring tragically at his plate. He had faced down giant villains and interdimensional anomalies, but nothing was quite as terrifying as the Morales parental tag-team.
"Yes, Ma," he mumbled.
"And sit up straight," Jeff added, picking his newspaper back up. "You're ruining your posture."
I was bored, and I recently watched the spider verse movies again with my family, and thought that this was something Miles would DEFINITELY do on accident in character.
