Nobody reads this so it's perfect. I'm in a weird place. It's been so long I worry I won't ever be who I was before. And I don't even know before what.. my last insane relationship or my miscarriage. I'm with who I want to be with, sure sometimes he drives me bonkers but it's temporary shit. I'm worried about me and my well being. I'm currently on the vacation I've been needing and I'm just sitting here like "meh". I used to get so excited about anything that made me happy. My favorite show or song or smell, now it's just something else.. I don't like this feeling of "meh" being excited about stupid shit was part of me. I don't think I like where my life is right now and I don't know what to do with it. Back to things.. my miscarriage.. before I lost them I knew for 3 weeks! I had already told everyone! I miss them.. just knowing they were growing inside me. I was already making life changes and preparing my home and mind for motherhood. I miss them. They were with going to be Jasper or Luna. I miss them.. so much. How the fuck do you get over something like this. I'm not the same. I can feel it deep. I don't give much of a shit anymore. I feel so fucked over by karma or whatever that I couldn't care less about anyone elses shit. And I used to care way too much. I was always so involved in others. Now my phone rings and I cringe.. just one more ungrateful fuck acting like they want to han but readily wants my help with something. Why the fuck won't they drop their shit and help me. I'm so fucked. Sometimes I'm so confused on why I'm even alive, I should of died when my baby did.
turnnoffyourmind
tangentwithtanner
dailybridgerton
amandla
vaporwave
